An out of the blue 10k run and i feel alive again.

Hi im Chris. Im 21, just over 6ft"1 and have just got an old pair of shoes on, a tatterd hoody, my ipod and 2 hand warmers and gone and done a 10.6k run in 1hr 10mins. Feeling like i have just beaten the devil, as over the last year i have got out ( stressing the Got Out part without degrading or disregardong the love and hurt it took to get over) of a 4 year relationship that ended due to my addiction to cannabis which i also beat around about the time i realised why she wanted me to change. So i finished the one woman i cared about because the drug was telling me she was cheating. Paranoia. Things start fitting... Paranoid thoughts become the main focus when im with her and then the inevitable break of trust as i ask her if she has cheated on me. After that the only way is down but the drug made me carry on like a little inspector fucking cluso. So i do what any respectable "bag head" would do... believe the paranoid thoughts ( which i have to believe otherwise i am scitzophrenic :pelt wrong: and leave her thinking i have won some weird battle of witts... Anyway we tryed getting back together 3 times, she asked me twice and when i ask her she tells me she doesnt want to rush into things... so i finally...... make a self resolution.... and realised that if i am thinking something bad is happening it is because i am not putting enough effort into that topic (as fucking love wasnt enough for the moaning whore bag) ::heres me hoping in 5-10 years she would laugh at that as now i know she did nothing "wrong" even if she did....well apart from openly lie and make me look like a fucking idiot in love. calm ...now i have the running again. Oh YEAH i dont hang around with any of my friends any more because i asked them if they slept with her..... and i got fired from my job for stealing...........you wont believe this........cups of fucking coffee which everyone else drank and which (after 4 years in the job at whetherspoons) I believed fully to be something of a staff perk....and also eating ....and heres the really *&%#-( bit......................................A BAG OF FUCKING CRISPS. They sell a box a day and im not saying i was starving but the drug money was really holding my food love life at bay apart from well...now ....come to think of it.....bags of crisps from Spa 24. Oh my christ ive been waiting a fucking year just to be able to write that for somone who can read. So far ive been typing on this sermingly tiny galaxy S2 due to my massive pig tit fingers (which i had to get in black because she wanted white and the deal was OBVIOSLY to good to turn down)... So now im jobless...what feels like wifeless....in debt ??400+....friendless, and stuck with a bastard phone i dont want, in the wrong colour, which reminds me that shes got the right colour. And to top it off im working a 30 hours a week for a month for free because the doll office seem to think that attending a meeting with a raving honosexual that condesends and patronises you at every turn is vital. But there is some light theres a possibility that i could get the job i lalways wished for. A checkout assistant at poundland. anyway now im on the road to recovery.....(fist clenched ready to strike bathroom wall "im in the bath") hoping that theres another way around seeing someone for anger management or taking it out on the walls of the house....hopefully there will be a few codgers out there that i can look up to as father figures as mine now drinks....because this breakup has teared a massive hole in the lives of everyone in this town, That Was a joke. back to the road...............now the bath waters cold. If your in your twenties fancy sharing run times and run 10k in a time thats trying to be under 1hr give us a message. Its obvios i could use the support but would