This is going to be more of a 'getting it off my chest' post rather than an advice post, but hopefully some of you may get where I'm coming from.
I started running 3 years ago, I've run a few half marathons and decided earlier last year I wanted to do a marathon this year. I wasn't able to get a VLM place but settled for my local marathon in Belfast (1 May).
Training was going well - I managed up to 18.5 miles 4 weeks ago then went on holiday. No problems taking a break from serious running because I was nicely ahead of schedule. My first run away, I ran on the beach - with quite a severe slope. Stupid me, ran on it feeling the pull on my right foot. Just a slight niggle, so ran another couple of footpath runs whilst away. Came back home, did a LSR and was in agony. Went to physio who said it was a pulled ligament at the side of my foot near the heel - about 4 weeks before I can run again, but she was hopeful it may be sooner...
Well, 10 days into recovery and I'm still not walking properly and I'm beginning to see the marathon slipping away...
And so the point of my post...having a history of depression for much of my adult life, I don't think I realised just how much running was keeping me on an even keel mentally. I can honestly say in the last 3 years, my mood has remained fairly even. When I felt a bit crap, I went for a run; even planning and organising my running has kept me from feeling negative about other things in my life. Now, the old negative thinking has started to creep in, I feel as if i'm going to burst into tears any minute and I feel a little out of control; the lay off in running has exacerbated my slightly lower mental health state due to other things going on in my life. Although, it's hard going at the minute, I am going to the gym 3 times a week and I cycle to work each day, so I know my cardio fitness isn't suffering and it gives me some sort of hit of endorphins. However, as most of you will know, it's not quite the same.
Despite this, I'm trying to look at the positives. I have GNR to look forward to in September (although I'm worrying that if the injury lingers then that too might be in jeopardy). I can also take this year to work on my strength and flexibility to reduce my injury risk next year and try again for the marathon.
Has anybody else experienced similar when injured, especially with a history of any mental health problems? I can honestly say at the moment, running has been my anti-depressant, so it's just a case of managing and making do until I can run again, hopefully very soon.
Thanks if you read this and letting me vent!