Once in my local pub I told the the chap that played Boon that he was an fat bastard ,a shit actor & I suggested rather politely that he went forth & multiplied.
In my younger days i used to be an underwear model for Calvin Klein. You may have seen me on the 100 foot posters adorning large stores in the Capitals of the World. Jetting from location to location to stand around in my undercrackers while someone painted on fake tan was surely my dream job.
My frontal prominence was credited with stopping the traffic in 8 of the world's great cities.
But then I got married and life intervened: pregnancy, children, beer all took their toll and before I knew it I was a fat middle-aged b*******.
At some stage I knew I would have to get myself back together if I was ever again going to be one of the obligatory Himbo's at the Victoria's Secret lingerie show.
So I started running and lost quite a bit of weight. Cut down on the beer and lost a bit more. Now I do the gym 3 times a week and doing some weights also. One day the six pack will again be mine. If I can only locate it under the fat. Perhaps I should get a torch or something.
I still have my Zoolander pout and if I can only get back in shape the agencies will once again fight to get me on their books.
Although I'd setle for a gig in the Y fronts section of the Freemans catalogue this time around.
Comments
Once in my local pub I told the the chap that played Boon that he was an fat bastard ,a shit actor & I suggested rather politely that he went forth & multiplied.
I once burnt a few holes with the cigarette lighter in the leather upholstery of my dads brand new merc.
(I was young, bored and it made a nice sizzling sound!)
It's her birthday on Friday dude are you going to give her a something?
I can drink a pint of Guinness in 90 seconds and I once showed the duchess of Kent a goats backside by Royal request.
I got a smartie stuck up my nose aged 28!
lol Cinders how did you manage that?
I once talked to a famous person in Sainsburys but didn't know he was famous until BD told me
Fell into the Grand Union canal from a barge on a school holiday.
Shut my left index finger in a car door - which I'd already locked so had to stand there waiting for my Dad to unlock the door.
But that means you work for or used to work for
Alastair Campbell sat behind me at the time...
Must have been sober Andy
In my younger days i used to be an underwear model for Calvin Klein. You may have seen me on the 100 foot posters adorning large stores in the Capitals of the World. Jetting from location to location to stand around in my undercrackers while someone painted on fake tan was surely my dream job.
My frontal prominence was credited with stopping the traffic in 8 of the world's great cities.
But then I got married and life intervened: pregnancy, children, beer all took their toll and before I knew it I was a fat middle-aged b*******.
At some stage I knew I would have to get myself back together if I was ever again going to be one of the obligatory Himbo's at the Victoria's Secret lingerie show.
So I started running and lost quite a bit of weight. Cut down on the beer and lost a bit more. Now I do the gym 3 times a week and doing some weights also. One day the six pack will again be mine. If I can only locate it under the fat. Perhaps I should get a torch or something.
I still have my Zoolander pout and if I can only get back in shape the agencies will once again fight to get me on their books.
Although I'd setle for a gig in the Y fronts section of the Freemans catalogue this time around.