So my point was that regret alone is pointless unless it leads to the benefit of hindsight. If all you have is a big emotional response to something which you get stuck in and which does not lead to a rational response for improvement, then it is pointless... unless you like moping and feeling sorry for yourself.
Loads of people "regret" things... but if you then don't do anything about it, how good is it?
Of course there are exceptions to the regret issue as there will be situations where you no longer have the opportunity to make any changes, for example regretting that you didn't heal a rift with someone before they passed away or similar...
Jimo - bit harsh judging her on the basis of sleeping with her once (she might have been nervous at the sheer size of it or something). Personally, I think you should do it at least another couple of times to make sure, it would be rude not to as fate obviously brought her to your office so you could have another crack. Stop being a wuss and get in there.
I think Johnny Regret is a tricky blighter and he's digdangdoogley complex as he can be tangled up and quite close to, remorse and guilt as well as sometimes being driven by right or wrong outcomes for yourself and other people or by a crisis of conscience.
Some things can be written off to experience and can modify future choices - but some choices you regret are like cakes - they can't be unbaked. These are difficult to deal with as you see the consequences every day.
I guess you can see I'm talking from personal experence here.
I think you have to try and keep your regrets in a little box most the time - occasionally open the box and inspect them again but most the time keep them locked away.
People who don't have regrets are possibly sociopaths so i think ignoring the past is to be avoided in general terms, but you can't let regrets dominate you.
Jimo - bit harsh judging her on the basis of sleeping with her once (she might have been nervous at the sheer size of it or something). Personally, I think you should do it at least another couple of times to make sure, it would be rude not to as fate obviously brought her to your office so you could have another crack. Stop being a wuss and get in there.
I do see your point Maximus.
What about if you just don't want to?
There's a whole multiplitute of reasons why it didn't happen again before.
Why would I go back on that just as she's here?
I like to think I have a bit more self respect than that.
Jimo - is that you don't want to sleep with attractive women in general or is it only this one? If it is in general then maybe you simply need to start be honest with yourself.
What did she do (or not do) in one session that pissed you off? Did she fart at an inappropriate time or something (apparently that can be a bit off on a first time, or so I am told)
Jimo - is that you don't want to sleep with attractive women in general or is it only this one? If it is in general then maybe you simply need to start be honest with yourself.
What did she do (or not do) in one session that pissed you off? Did she fart at an inappropriate time or something (apparently that can be a bit off on a first time, or so I am told)
Just not this one.
Um not sure I want to go into the fine details, but it was all a bit weird.
Plus we met a few times after (I'm not that callous) and there was just nothing there, no spark, no nuttin.
it's just something that happened between two people.
No biggie.
I still rather she wasn't here though, it's interuppting my office flirting (one of the few things that gets me through the office day).
Jimo - in that case forget about her and just carry on with the old Jimo flirting. In fact you may not feel to bad about it if you had more than one women in the office that you had slept with.
AL - I have turned women and a few men down in my time (many moons ago) but I don't regret turning any of them down. You seemed to be saying you turned them down and then regretted it.
Maxpower, no regrets turning down just shags. But turning down a relationship because it wasn't the right time for whatever reason is a different matter. Or deciding not to have a relationship with a friend as is my current situation, I don't regret at the moment coz it just isn't right and I'm not in a place to have a relationship but maybe oneday I may look back and think 'thats a shame, I missed out on something special!"
Comments
So my point was that regret alone is pointless unless it leads to the benefit of hindsight. If all you have is a big emotional response to something which you get stuck in and which does not lead to a rational response for improvement, then it is pointless... unless you like moping and feeling sorry for yourself.
Loads of people "regret" things... but if you then don't do anything about it, how good is it?
>crosses legs the other way<
Jimo - bit harsh judging her on the basis of sleeping with her once (she might have been nervous at the sheer size of it or something). Personally, I think you should do it at least another couple of times to make sure, it would be rude not to as fate obviously brought her to your office so you could have another crack. Stop being a wuss and get in there.
I think Johnny Regret is a tricky blighter and he's digdangdoogley complex as he can be tangled up and quite close to, remorse and guilt as well as sometimes being driven by right or wrong outcomes for yourself and other people or by a crisis of conscience.
Some things can be written off to experience and can modify future choices - but some choices you regret are like cakes - they can't be unbaked. These are difficult to deal with as you see the consequences every day.
I guess you can see I'm talking from personal experence here.
I think you have to try and keep your regrets in a little box most the time - occasionally open the box and inspect them again but most the time keep them locked away.
People who don't have regrets are possibly sociopaths so i think ignoring the past is to be avoided in general terms, but you can't let regrets dominate you.
I do see your point Maximus.
What about if you just don't want to?
There's a whole multiplitute of reasons why it didn't happen again before.
Why would I go back on that just as she's here?
I like to think I have a bit more self respect than that.
(awaits barrage of pi55 take )
Plus I just loike an easy loife me.
Jimo - is that you don't want to sleep with attractive women in general or is it only this one? If it is in general then maybe you simply need to start be honest with yourself.
What did she do (or not do) in one session that pissed you off? Did she fart at an inappropriate time or something (apparently that can be a bit off on a first time, or so I am told)
Just not this one.
Um not sure I want to go into the fine details, but it was all a bit weird.
Plus we met a few times after (I'm not that callous) and there was just nothing there, no spark, no nuttin.
it's just something that happened between two people.
No biggie.
I still rather she wasn't here though, it's interuppting my office flirting (one of the few things that gets me through the office day).
Jimo - in that case forget about her and just carry on with the old Jimo flirting. In fact you may not feel to bad about it if you had more than one women in the office that you had slept with.
I think Jimo is a gentleman, which is why he's feeling uncomfortable.
On another note, I chanced a fart this morning in bed - silent so the OH didn't notice. Phew
The thing is, I know the lady in question as I work in the same office and I overheard her at the coffee machine this morning.
"I can't believe out of all of the places I get a job, I bump into that bloke who I shagged for a bet"
I don't know what she meant mate?
That's one of the few delights of being coupled up, capturing ye beloved with a dutch oven.
Probably 'Who can pull the bloke who looks like a ginger George Clooney'.
Is it you who's been nicking my post it notes all the time coops then?
i am a big believer that sometimes REGRETS can be of use ful emotion
more than once for me it's help me in life and stopped something happening again-
too often in life people carry on and think well, that's it nothing can be done -
i personally think in some circumstances that's a BIG mistake
I have two answers to that AL.
- Don't all threads on here end up talking about shagging. (or pooing or cross dressing)
- Maybe that's the over-riding emotion a 'Jimo shag' feels.
haha, yes, true.
or the ones you regret never shagging when you had the chance??
In life you should never regret the people you have done only the people you haven’t
Maxpower, no regrets turning down just shags. But turning down a relationship because it wasn't the right time for whatever reason is a different matter. Or deciding not to have a relationship with a friend as is my current situation, I don't regret at the moment coz it just isn't right and I'm not in a place to have a relationship but maybe oneday I may look back and think 'thats a shame, I missed out on something special!"