There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
Think you have to be born in the 60's /70's to get this
A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"
"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"
"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"
"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"
"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"
"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your t*ts twice a day, but only ******* you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"
cows are funny things - they'll stand their ground and look like they're eye balling you but in reality their just gawping. as soon as you clap your hands loudly they'll scatter. and no they're not dangerous whatsoever.
cows are funny things - they'll stand their ground and look like they're eye balling you but in reality their just gawping. as soon as you clap your hands loudly they'll scatter. and no they're not dangerous whatsoever.
That must be a great consolation to the people they trample to death.
you obviously haave to know that any animal can pose some danger and you have to act appropriately when around them but cows are NOT dangerous - neither are horses but you should not approach them from behind. when in the countryside have some flamin sense, that's all. to be afraid of them is though excessive.
cows do not regularly trample people - they haave to be severely spooked by something.
You just have to be cautious...same with anything, when you are out running (or just anywhere) then you have to be wary of animals, people, vehicles, etc.
Cows like to follow people because they are nosy buggers. I grew up in the countryside and think cows are beautiful (they have really big sad brown eyes), however, they do still spook me a little when Im running along and they/re following me! It just makes me run that little bit faster to get to the other end of the field!
Most of mine have big horns, and whilst its true they can give a small dog a hard time they dont generally attack people. If you say "Boo" they normally just run away.
Not a good idea to run into one in a car, a good sized ewe wieghs about 60kg, so its like running into a couple of bags of cement, plus you wouldn't want one coming through the windscreen.
Comments
How a-moo-sing
Sorry, i should have used that one yesterday but I only thought about it when I got home!
V good NBG
Where do cows go when they want a night out?
To the moo-vies!
With a Cowculator
NBG
Why don't cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry
Alas poor cows
Beef-flat
There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
Think you have to be born in the 60's /70's to get this
To get chocolate milk
What goes oo ooo oooo?
A cow with no lips.
"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"
"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"
"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"
"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"
"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your t*ts twice a day, but only ******* you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"
LOL
Two cows are talking and one says I'm really worried about this mad cow disease..
The other replies
I'm not, cause i'm a squirrel
Boom Tiss
Of the five cars kill by far the most, cattle second, then probably dogs, cyclists on pavements and runners with ipods (worshipping Satan or not).
Funnily enough an exact inverse relationship with the amount of moaning that goes on about those things on this forum.
LOL all the jokes
I always like cow related humour.
Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.
Why can't you shock cows?
They've herd it all.
That must be a great consolation to the people they trample to death.
you obviously haave to know that any animal can pose some danger and you have to act appropriately when around them but cows are NOT dangerous - neither are horses but you should not approach them from behind. when in the countryside have some flamin sense, that's all. to be afraid of them is though excessive.
cows do not regularly trample people - they haave to be severely spooked by something.
You just have to be cautious...same with anything, when you are out running (or just anywhere) then you have to be wary of animals, people, vehicles, etc.
Maybe I'm just continually looking out for things that might trip me up / attack / annoy.
Welcome to the RW forum
you get all three for the price of one!
The COW thread can not die!
When do you know it is time for the cows to go to sleep?
When it is pasture bedtime.
What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
An udder catastrophe!
What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
Decalfenated
Scrapping the barrel now
A steak out
Sheep can kill people?
Do me a favour
Most of mine have big horns, and whilst its true they can give a small dog a hard time they dont generally attack people. If you say "Boo" they normally just run away.
Not a good idea to run into one in a car, a good sized ewe wieghs about 60kg, so its like running into a couple of bags of cement, plus you wouldn't want one coming through the windscreen.