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Hi chickpea,
I'm liking having my brain back! Although there's no way I'm ready to come off it! Think I'll stay at 10mg and see if my anxiety settles a bit more. Things might be easier if I could run but that's out unitl next year now due to injury grrr!
Hope everyone's ok?
((((Blueroom)))
Hello Blueroom folks,
Taken me a wee while to pluck up the courage to post here. Was officially 'diagnosed' with depression a week and a half ago having felt out of sorts for a while. Not sure when it started but would find myself having uncontrollable rage out of nowhere, and became increasingly tearful. When the doctor initially suggested it I was surprised - have nothing to be depressed about! But was advised that it's not always that simple - can be doing too much etc etc.
Started a/ds and was advised to take time off work to allow any side effects to settle. Initially felt like a complete space cadet (& behaved like it) but now aside from being forgetful am feeling relatively ok. Had planned to return to work next week but now as the time is looming I'm finding myself really anxious and tearful at the prospect and not sure if I can. Worry is, if I don't go back how long will it be? And I was coping relatively ok (or at least on the surface) when I was there before. Probably took the stress of the day home with me.
Not run for nearly a fortnight - was finding it difficult to motivate myself before. Finding it hard to get out of the house full stop at the moment - feel guilty about being off work and think if I can go out I should be there.
Not looking for solutions, just wanted to talk to someone that would understand where I'm coming from!
Hi clag, not posted in here before either! Don't worry about rushing anything! If you don't feel comfortable running, don't add any extra stresses but running isn't the same as going to work, you can go for a little run but you can come home anytime you feel bad. For me running is a little relief and makes me feel better, but everyone is different. I also do yoga and that calms me down an awful lot. I really hope you feel better soon.
Hi Clag <<waves>> sorry to hear you're not feeling so good. First thing - try to ditch the guilt, it's probably part of what got you to where you are, and secondly I'm afraid you can't set time limits. It will go away when it does, could be weeks, could be months. Try not to fret over that. Running is ace if you feel like it, or at least take a walk - anything that gets you out in the fresh air for a bit and raises your HR slightly is very good for depression - but try not to put any extra stress on yourself with it. Walking the dog is ace, also keeps you in a routine. If the thought of going back to work is making you feel worse I'd say the answer is quite clear! Take enough time now and hopefully you won't need more later - rushing back cos you think you should is seldom a good idea. You don't need a reason to be depressed, at the basic level it's a chemical imbalance - though I think there's much more to it than that. I have personla and professional experience of this horrible illness - feel free to mail if you'd like to chat more offline.
Hello Chocolate Squirrel - I used to have a relaxation tape that was great, until the machine chewed it one day as I was listening to it! I had to laugh
morning clag! how's it all going?
Getting there - signed off work til the end of next week. Been trying to get motivated to get out for the odd run and just move off the sofa! Still feel guilty about not being at work but am trying to get past that, and as my friends have said, unless I'm fit to socialise without bursting into tears I'm not fit to be at work either! How are you?
(((blue room)))
Hi Clag, I've not posted here before either.
I've been on ADs for most of this year. I think dealing with guilt takes time. I was guilty that my depression was 'my fault' that there was something I had done/not done/not done well enough/etc. which led to the depression. I felt guilty about not wanting to exercise when people told me it would be good for me. It was easy to find things to be guilty about.
Way I look at it now is if an engine runs out of oil it will stop. It is not wrong for the engine to stop, it is designed to run with oil. Depression for me was a way of stopping until the oil levels were right again.
I found a book called "I had a black dog" useful to me. Not only did the book make sense to me but I felt it is useful to explain to other people what was/is going on.
That's kind of how someone else I know put it Bos1. I'm struggling with the whole guilt thing still, but it was said that it's just chemicals. Chemicals get out of balance, you crash. Take the tablets and things will start to get better and you'll bounce back.
At the moment I'm waiting to bounce back! I find the weekends are better, probably as there's not the guilt hanging over me that I should be at work.
hi
not posted on here for ages so just thought I would say hi. in a dip at the mo but keeping strong.
((((Blueroom))))
*waving not drowning*
Hello
(((((blueroom)))))
Welcome to all "newbies" - I'm an "old-timer" on this thread. I hope you find this thread as much of a support as I did when I first found it
I haven't posted here for ages but always think of everyone on here.
Love and hugs
HFE
Glad to hear folks are doing well.
I've now been back to work for a fortnight and am loving it! Having gone from a time when I thought I'd never want to go back and was glued to the sofa permanently, I'm now happy to be there and was really looking forward to it! Low dose of meds and some breathing room seem to have given me the chance to sort out what's important in life!
(((((((blueroom)))))))
first post onto this particular thread, i;ve been suffering depression for a number of years, 5/6 years ago i took flouxetine for 2/3 year period, as i was overweight needed the motivation etc. i took up some counselling and began to stop taking my tablets. for first time in a long time i felt i didn't need them.
in April 09 - i started running as i had put on 3stone in weight, since meeting my new partner in oct 07. i needed new motivation for physical activity so after watching the London marathon, i decided, it was a challenge and a race for me, so i started training next day, around october time i had lost the 3 stone, feeling physically immortal , running 20 miles pw, swimming 2 miles pw, cycling 30 miles per week. then mid november i hit a huge wall, my relationship pretty much ended then, although we've only just split and walked away from eachother this weel.
during November i sought help from the doctor, for anger management, for depression etc and further counselling. most of December i just about mananged to keep motivated enough to keep my 20 miles pw running going. the other activities come to a stop.
so,its now January 3rd, first run of the new year, put on 3/4 lbs over christmas , no biggy. but feeling extremely low moodwise and then i get an ear infection, so i go to the doctor again explain my symptoms and my mood, he precribes me anti-biotics and then sertraline anti-D's
he said, i am probably doing too much now, and need to slow down, my activities of late have been, uni, training, job searching, and general home chores inc looking after my son oh and trying to raise my marathon pledge for make a wish foundation, oh and trying to work in a positive manner to save a pretty much doomed relationship, all as many of you know tiring.
i suffered some nausea when combining anti-D's and anti-biotics, i couldn't run due to this and dizzyness. after the Anto=i-B's my dizzyness subsided and i began to run again. this was a week ago.
i've run twice now, both approx 4 mile runs.
so until 3 weeks ago, a 4 mile run at 8/9 mm pace was pretty easy going.
the past 2 run's have been the most hardest runs i have done sine i began running. i feel like my fitness has almost disappeared, when i finished my run yesterday, my breathing was extremely heavy and i have felt light headed ever since, i now feel sick and dizzy,
i am quite sad, cus of this, i had a 10 mile race pencilled in for sunday, my longest LSR - in training had been 17 miles, but now the 10 mile race Sunday seems out of my grasp. i had in training took 3 minutes off my previous 10 mile race and was looking to set a PB this time, but now 16km is a tough old slog when i only just did 7km yesterday.
sorry to put this to the forum without trawling all the way through to find other people's experiences of sertraline, but the thread is huge these days.
obvisouly i put some of these symptoms down to my recent split from my partner, we are on amicable terms and have agreements for when i can spend time with my son.
i just would like to know, other people's experience of sertraline. i shall go to see a doctor on thursday, at the mo i am with family 90 miles away from my former home and would just like some additional interaction with fellow runners etc.
i have learned a lot from this bout of depression and i aim to stay motivated with my training and stay positive, i don't intend to stop unless physically unable to carry out an activity, unlike in the past.
i feel so much better now i have made a split from my partner as she was a big part of this depression sadly, but hey that's life.
thanks for reading my long post, hope to hear from you soon.
Hi Tectona,
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of things and struggling at the moment. Sertraline is what I was prescribed and I've now been taking it since September. I found initially (the first week or two) I was like a zombie. It totally knocked me for six - my husband said that in the nicest possible way it was like the lights were on but nobody was home. Real space cadet type thing! However, I'm now great on it and would certainly recommend sticking with it. I'm due to cut back within the next couple of months so can let you know how that goes.
Not a whole lot of time to post right now, but take care and please do post again and keep us up-to-date with how you're doing. It definitely helps to talk!
i have agreed to help my sister on a run/walk to 5km program - so that will give me some easier sessions and keep the activity going.
LMH - i did check back every now and then and saw you did well in the tri. i'll probably email you later, i'm off to my uni lectures shortly so that is another welcome distraction
Tectona - 5k with your sister sounds good. I think the most important thing is just to do as you've said - run when you feel like it and if you don't, don't beat yourself up over it. In time you will want to run again and you'll get back to where you were before.
I found it a struggle to run for quite a bit last year, but am now in training for April & May marathons, and really enjoying the challenge. I didn't find it too difficult to return to my previous level of fitness, despite having averaged 15 miles a week over last year (with some good weeks and some with nothing!)
Take care of yourself, and give yourself the time you need to get back on track in all areas of life - when you're doing so much it's hard and you're only human when things start to crack.
Hi everyone
hope you are all well, sorry been around for er quite a while, things been very up and down. thought it be nice to catch up with everyone .
I thought it also be nice for you all to see a picture of Austin my doggy
Hello folks!
Still around but no running since July. I have a prolapsed disc and go into hospital on Wed to have the offending bit of disc removed and some decompression done too. Hopefully, I'll be running again in April (approx.).
Back on anti depressants since Feb 2009. Lots has happened and will try to do a proper catch up post tomorrow.
Thinking of you all and sending hugs to the Blueroom.
xxxxx
Hi all. Just found this thread while having a search before starting my own on this topic. I'm on Citalopram, just had it increased to 30mg daily a month ago, and have felt worse since then! It's mostly been caused by too much pressure at work, which came to a head last week, when I had bit of a meltdown while at work. One of colleagues was very supportive, and managed to calm me down enough to get me to go home. Not going back in tomorrow, as waiting to have a one-to-one with my head honcho, which should be a good first step, as he is a good guy and will make sure things happen to make things better for me at work.
I've signed up to do my first ever mara next year, originally as a way to give myself enough of a challenge to entice me back into running, and to help fight the old waist-line issues. I also of course reckon it will help with my depression - that is the hope, anyway. My doc has been nagging me to take up some exercise for a while now, to complement the medication therapy, and since running is the only thing I have ever done on anything like a regular basis, I figure that's the way to go. I am also looking at getting some counselling - kind of attack this thing from all angles.
Now, if I can just get myself out the door with my running shoes on, that will be a start.....
LBL - are you having any counselling/support as well? I've just started CBT and have been recommended livinglifetothefull.com It's free to sign-up. You do need to register as the site is funded.
Quick update, if anyone's interested - went to GP today, who has signed me off for a fortnight, which took me by surprise. Glad to be getting taken seriously finally though. He is VERY pleased about me starting to run again, and thinks me signing up for my mara next May is an excellent idea
Went for my first run in ages today, which feels like a really positive step, so here's hoping things will improve from here.
Can someone explain what the blueroom is?