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That Double, somehwere near Birmingham
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Right... this is getting dull. Suffice to say, I loved it when it got dark – riding with lights on the bike made me feel like I was a 15yr old paper boy again. The wind had dropped and all was right with the world. Well, most things.... As I’d set out on my last lap, I was told that Crashie was just ahead, but had two to do. Was also told he wasn’t feeling well. I just figured, “drama queen / sandbagger”. What I didn’t expect was to catch him on that lap shortly before the long climb. He told me his leg was bad and, from the tone of his voice, I knew he was serious – but I couldn’t accept that he’d be beaten by it. I knew i was climbing well (spurred on by it being my last lap), so I tried to get him to draft me up the hill and on to the end (I’d seen plenty of the top 5 boys drafting, so figured nobody would mind us doing a small bit). He seemed right with me the whole way until just after the marshal at the end of Grange Lane when, not only could I not see him, I couldn’t even see his lights – keep forgetting to ask what happened here. Crashie?
Run
Transition was a faff. I’d planned what to wear, but my crew decided that I should wear skins and a long sleeve top. I’m guessing it’s just so that they could check out my finely contoured bottom, although they may argue something about my legs still cramping every five minutes. I think we all know the truth.... <<shakes lil’ tushy>>
Mark had been summoned to join me on the run as, when he had called, I was looking and feeling at death’s door. Actually, when I started the run, I’d perked right up, but wasn’t going turn down a bit of conversation (which was wise, given that everyone else on the run at that time (1:30am) didn’t want to chat). Talking crap is just what I do on long runs.
Went through the first half marathon without even noticing. I’d walked the first lap to stretch my legs out and get my bearings, but after that, was having a great time running. As the sun came up I made my biggest mistake of the event. I ditched my Camelback. I still can’t think why I did that, aside from getting sick of the ‘slosh-slosh’ noise. Whilst I had the Camelback, I was drinking regularly and nibbling on food – which was easy to wash down. Without it, I stopped eating and took to trying to survive on small sips of water every lap. Bloody idiot.
Over the next few laps, my insides decided it was time to make an appearance. Vomit & diarrhoea at the end of every lap – couldn’t move at more than a shuffle for fear of everything exploding out on the course. Like with the cramp, I’ve had this before. No big deal – get some salty drinks in, bit of food, plenty of water, then 30-mins later, right as rain! Except, this time it didn’t work.
Shortly before this point, I had been planning on saying that I’d run the rest of the course on my own – as the race should be run. As this ‘sickness’ kicked in, I was really worried that something bad would happen on the course. This then led to me walking the best part of a marathon – slowly plodding out the steps, ticking off the laps, cursing myself for my stupidity. Having to walk started to cause serious issues. Obviously I was tired – that was part of the fun – but with only being able to walk, I was getting bored and tired. Naturally, this led to me drifting off whilst I walked. Mark tells me he remembers looking over at me as we walked together – my eyes tight shut and head rocking back and forth. This may have happened, i have no idea. Suffice to say, it was time for a pit stop (as quick as possible – there were laps to do!).
Crashie had been forced to pull out by this point and this was playing heavy on my mind. I was feeling bad enough in myself, without feeling terrible for him too. The sympathy passed however, when I realised he was leading the Pirate cheers every time I reached for the door of the portaloos. B**tard!
Anyway, change of clothes, then some more walking laps with Mark, DoT, KK and Wotsit – wotsit constantly trying to make me run, to which i may, or may not have snapped “If I run now, I’m going to sh*t myself!!!” I hope I didn’t say this.
To cut an already long and tedious story a bit shorter, Wotsit's naggings and force feeding of food and drink eventually got me running again. At this point i felt a terrible fraud. People kept saying, “Wow, you’re running really strong – can’t believe you’re running like that after 44-miles!”. I had to politely remind them, that all I’d been doing for the past 20 or so miles was shuffle along at a walk, which wasn’t exactly taxing! Quite frankly, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d cheated. It’s not as if I’d had a ‘proper’ injury. To be honest, I still feel a bit ‘Harrumph’ about this bit.
Still, I was running now and that was all that mattered. The kids arrived with the in-laws at around that time, so I was told to stop for a bit so that we could all have some lunch together – besides, I needed to eat some proper food. However, I only had 8 laps to go. In my head, this was basically nothing – and each lap was now whizzing by. I reverted back to ‘grumpy dad’ mode and told them I’d see them when I’d finished – I wasn’t stopping again. My brother handed me a Powerbar and a bottle of water, and that was going to do for me. It wasn’t enough, and I could feel myself getting hungry and dehydrated – but with only 2 laps to go, I couldn’t care less!
The last lap was fantastic. A chance to thank all the marshals, say goodbye to the ‘Iron family’ who had adopted me as one of ‘theirs’ since the bike (their cheering and banter had been fantastic for hours!) and wish well the runners still out on the course (especially the two Tritalk Daves).
I got a bit emotional as I ran the last few hundred meters. Despite how badly things had gone in the race, I was about to finish. The event that had taken over my life for best part of a year, that had kept me from family and friends and had occupied my every waking thought for the past few months – would soon be over!! Then I figured there’d be cameras at the end, so HTFU!!
Approaching the finish line was sort of a blur, but mostly fantastic. A huge cheer from the pirates, an excited announcement from Trevor on the PA (he and Min had been key to creating such a great atmosphere around transition), who had taken to announcing me as wickett – which rather baffled my family – then high-5s all the way in. Well, right up until I had to stop to pick up the boy and run in with the girl, who’d come out to meet me. Made my day to be able to run in with the kids (although, quite how I managed to pick up the boy, I’m still not sure!).
From this point on, it really was a blur. Tiredness hit me like a train. I remember lots of photos, being given my medal and t-shirt, Toyata Crown coming over to talk to me (a top bloke, who had a fantastic day it seems – albeit, a freakin’ nut case!!), wandering over to speak to/thank the pirates.... but I’m not sure what I said – if anything! Then I was bundled into the car and driven home. I had wanted to stay and see the last person in, but I just physically wouldn’t have been able to do it.
Home – find champagne waiting on doorstep – into bed – sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
I had always planned a ‘Fat Buddah style’ finish – leaping for joy, revelling in the moment. As it was, I did well to muster a smile. I only get the real sense of achievement every time I pull on my t-shirt (so, that would be every waking moment since finishing....). The idea of not having to do any more stupid long sessions is only slowly sinking in – and I’m enjoying the prospect!
Right – I’ve got to wind this up. We’re off on holiday soon and the kids are running riot. There are so many people who need to be thanked, and several to be apologised to as I hardly said two words to them throughout. Top of the list has to be Mark One, DoT and KK for their hours of help in keeping me sane out on the course (I promised Mark I wouldn’t go on too much about what he did, in case he lost the ‘steely cold’ image that he’s been working on. Suffice to say – above and beyond. The man’s a legend..... albeit camp as an Indian reservation). ATOM – I’ve already mentioned – he kept the prospect of actually finishing the race a possibility.
Then there was Gyraffe. Never met the girl before, but without a doubt deserving of some form of pirate award for relentless pirateness. First she turns up at the far end of the bike course, then supporting in the middle of nowhere with Ant and Squish – then does the same on the run course.... yet always seeming to be there in transition to keep cheering us through – and then pops up to see Crunchyknees through the last bit of the run. As far as I was concerned, she was fantastic – however, she seemed to cause problems for other competitors. Whilst Waffe and Emmilou were marshalling the far end of the run course, a number of racers complained that they had been using the far end of the course for a short walk, but now they couldn’t do that as “two fit birds” were taking their numbers and shouting at them. Male pride is a pathetic thing. I wouldn’t know, of course, I don’t do vanity......
Other piratey peeps to mention – Min for always being a friendly, encouraging face every time I got back to transition, but mostly for looking out for Wotsit who, at times, felt like everything was falling apart – Min kept her together on more than one occasion. Calf – having never met you before, I had no idea who you were until afterwards, but your constant barrage of abuse every time I passed was great. Of course, if I’d known, I wouldn’t have been quite so civil in my responses. Next time, ya get!! Thanks also to Oxy, Holly, Em, Trickster, Meldy, Debbo, BtS, Mrs GOM, Barley, LMH, Stump, Ant, Symes, Mrs Symes, Bassy, Quimby..... and now my over-tired memory is failing. To be honest, I only managed to remember some of you were there because of things I’ve since read – I really was oblivious, so if I’ve missed anyone, I’m really sorry – but everyone’s support was greatly appreciated, even if I hardly managed to say a word to you. Mustn’t forget also, my dad and brothers who turned up to do a few hours crewing – it was great to have you around even if I was a miserable git – it’s just that I felt happier bossing you around! Oh, and all the Tritalkers that I got to meet at last. It was big of them to put aside for one weekend the fact that we are so much better looking than them, and just be bloody nice chaps...... if annoyingly quick.
Right, that’s enough. I probably lost half of you somewhere before the swim. I’ll spare you the stories of how I’m recovering – suffice to say it’s slow and painful and my backside still feels like I’ve been man-loved by a bull elephant. I won’t be back to race this next year. Much as I know that I should have finished 3hrs quicker, I’ll just have to live with that. However, it was a great adventure and the event itself put on by Enduroman justified the months of long training misery. I would recommend this to anyone and I’d happily crew for anyone (although that offer first goes to GOM and Crashie if they decide to finish business).
Now it’s time to go back to being a proper family again and repay Wotsit for all her patience and fantastic work in seeing me through. I’m a very lucky man to have such a fantastic family, so it’s about time I showed them my appreciation.
Much respect WIcket old bean x
Looks like I have another crew member for next year
Cracking report mate, and well done on your finish and 3 pirate points, 2 for the finish and the 1 for the male pirate record for a double IM
Have a great holiday in France
Brilliant race report.
Well done, enjoy your well deserved holiday!!
nice one wickett. how you feeling today?
what's teh next epic race then?
Top report Wickett
Been away one holiday so just got round to reading all the reports.....
I am in awe, massive respect to you all
how you lot holding up? whats the damage?
I cant believe my whole body is fine but i have 2 nails about to come off, and friggin hurts. some blue rinser's gonna get a shock when she sees a large double ironman toe nail headed her way in the pool!
Elite Ironman, Ultra Trail Runner
NIce report Wickett and top racing.
If anyone does not believe the amount Wickett talks, jsut try spending part of a race between him and smiffy. Knackering
Pocket sized?
Wickett is a tall bloke.............
it's all relative Stump ; - )
On the subject of forks - don't worry about them too much Min. They're Ikea's finest, I can spare them.
For those who asked, he has *NO* epic races on the horizon. He values his genitalia more than that.
Not as much as you do tho, eh Wotsit?
Ratbag! How very dare you!
(actually Wotsit, shouldn't you be in France??)