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Dear BT
1. why on earth does it cost £127 to reconnect a sodding phone line?!?! I bet the engineer that comes out sees feck all of that money
2. Surely you must have an appointment before Nov 26th?!?!?!!?!?
Yours Annoyed,
Internet-Free Pea*
*at home that this. No arsebook for a month
Probably isn't a bad thing right enough.... 
Dear weather
thanks really thanks I am so looking forward to the ride home I mean its not as if its proper rain - proper rain I can cope with not this slightly soggy damp fog you are throwing at me
Na, i've not got a fancy new app-type phone, so internet is no use on it. I think i'll succumb to a crappy dongle for a month. I think the general consensus is that they're not much cop, but I can get a pay as you go for £25!
Dear friend.
I don't like your husband. He's a lazy git and I think he should stop sitting on his arse and go out and get a job and stop leeching off benefits. He's not ill, he's not incapacitated, he's just playing the system.
He also spouts a lot of crap. I don't know anyone that actually respects him. They like YOU but sometimes when you're defending him, you sound like him.
And he had the cheek to delete ME from FB!
Well no tears shed there then.
Do you not know that the opposite of love is not hate - it’s indifference?
Do you not know that while you’re busy hating and stewing about your ex you’re still in an emotional relationship?
Do you not understand that the line between love and hate is wafer thin and your strong emotional attachment to hating said ex is preventing you from moving forward and is seen by others as a hugely unattractive quality?
Are you not aware that festering on their longed for downfall is a huge diversion of emotional energy from your psyche and can only have negative long and short term consequences for you?
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, have a good cry, learn a few lessons about yourself, move on free of emotional attachment and entanglement for a dream which has died?
But if you simply must be motivated by hate rather than love; remember - nothing wounds an egotist than indifference to their very existence.
Here endeth the lesson.
Please send your $120 cheque to Corinthian Relationship Counselling C/O UN Peace Keeping Force Gaza Strip.
(I need to make a fast buck to keep that grasping fat ginger bitch of an ex wife in fish suppers and sticky toffee pudding, I hope it chokes the mental old slapper for how she done me baaaad... I hope her lungs collapse, I hope she gets vampire crabs... Die die you evil pasty faced swivel eyed loon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Dear HR
You manipulative thiefing bunch of cnuts (and I don't use this word lightly).
So you think you can do me out of a whole year of money because my last year is 48 hours short of a full year??
So to clarify...? for 4 years and 363 days you want to pay me.... 4 years worth??!!
Well we'll see about that!
<applause>
They do say that bearing a grudge against someone is like taking poison yourself, and hoping they get sick
'This is the nasty horrible unfaithful fecker feeding a dolphin... and this is the loser getting his masters degree... look you can see evil in his eyes'
;-)
Just FUCK OFF, Ok.
You only asked me that question so that you could prove that you knew the answer, and thought I wouldn't, so you would look better than me. It backfired a bit didn't it? Your solution would have required a major change in how we do things, whereas mine would have the same output for minimal work. You managed to deflect things slightly by changing the topic and moving on to something else (which I also knew more about than you), but you have still only been here 2 months and I've been here 8 years, so it is likely that I may know more about our systems than you.
It was quite nice overall, but it did just waste half an hour of my time for no output, and we are all under major workload pressure.
So thanks for wasting my time, arse.
Look, I just told you to fuck off, didn't I. Why did you come back?
Oh, you didn't hear it.
Noooooooooooooo (((Nam))) That is shocking hun. I do hope you can get this sorted. There will likely be employment law peeps on here who could help. Or HR bods that might know a way round this.
CALLING JWRUN!!!!!
Actually, i'm seeing her later for dins-dins; i'll try to remember to ask her to look on here, if she doesn't see it first...
Sadly my union rep confirmed that if they have my start date correct they can indeed do this. I am absolutely tamping!!!
Initially everyone who applied for voluntary severance was expected to leave in February. My boss begs us to stay til the end of March to finish off some work. We are flexible and agree. And look what they give you in return. It's absolutely abysmal!!!
Happened to me years back
Some people will go August 1st, some will go Sep 1st. And Dave you can go today, Cos that way you don;t manage 15 years only 14... bastids
Regretably them's the rules and it is completely rubbish but if you don't stick by the absolute letter then you run the risk of other people claiming somebody got preferential treatment and therefore they were discriminated against.
You could try asking for a later finish date so being entitled to the extra money. As you've done them a favour by staying on they may just extend the finish date by a couple of days, expecially if you have holidays outstanding you could use a couple of them as they'd have to pay you for them anyway.