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'Official' Guide to Cheating at Races
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This thread is your way of saying "look, when you are r*nning along and can't see anyone in front of you anymore it's because there isnt anyone they are all hiding in the bushes/down the pub/having a cup of tea?"
Please don't point out that the people that finish before me are down the pub/having a shower/eating/supping tea/driving home/having a chat while I am still plodding ;o)
In case of alex he will be having a pie.
MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm pies!
but now that you have thanks for the tip off, I am formulating a new plan now.
Formulating? thats a word I havent used in monkeys ages
This does a single big loop then repeats about 1km of the loop again before turning back to the finish. Disappear into the bushes after about 1km. Reappear as the runners return and run back to the finish
Distance saved - 8km
Get away with it factor - 9/10
"they are all hiding in the bushes"
Lol ! We have all been sussed :-(
Look im the 3rd guy photographed...so why does your chip show you came 357th!
Start...after a few hundred yards nip slightly to the right and hide behind the ice cream stall, wait until runners come round for next lap.
Distance saved 5k, plus you can eat an ice cream while you're waiting.
Enter stadium with number covered. Proced to basement/carpark....jump out and run into stadium finish.
Distance saved 13 miles!
8/10 to get away with it(depending on how big you nerve is)
Enter stadium with number covered. Proced to basement/carpark....jump out and run into stadium finish.
Distance saved 26.2 miles!
8/10 to get away with it(depending on how big your nerve is)
Option 1:
Start up the first mile at the very back of the run, then when the elites come round finishing their second "Longer" lap just speed up and come in just behind them. They used to have a timing mat at furthest point for this but it wasn't there this year...
distance saved 7 miles
Get away with it factor - 9.5/10
Option 2: Paint yourself grey and sit very still next to the statue at mile 1 mile 12 point, then when they all run by tuck in behind them and claim "First home in fancy dress" prize.
Love this thread.
Run out of sports field on to the road, up the road, duck into bus stop on the right and wait until all r*nners have passed. Nip out and find a muddy puddle to stomp around in splash some up your kit. Find a branch to whack yourself in the face to prove you didnt see the low branch either, grab some stinging nettles and brambles to drag across your legs and then duck back into the bus stop and wait for the r*nners to go passed again, join in and discuss injuries when back across the finish line.
I had the option of getting a dishonest prize at the Glasgow Half last year. I was asked how old I was as I finished. Had I lied, I was going to be awarded first junior home. Sadly, I admitted I was 27. I'm sure I will be glad that I can still pass for 16 at some stage...
Bristol Half no longer seems to have a chip mat at the end of the out and back (Portway). But maybe they figure that they only need it every other year: a climate of uncertain fear ensures caution and compliance!
Dog Leash - I'll be watching all the houses en route carefully at Bath ;-)
"Find a branch to whack yourself in the face to prove you didn't see the low branch either"
Lol EP ! Brilliant :-))))
There is also an interesting unanswered question of etiquette. You pop behind a bush at 1k only to find about 25 other people there also 'twiddling their thumbs' (I am assuming these are other cheating runners and not cruising homosexuals, which would pose quite a different problem). Do you acknowledge them, ignore them staring defiantly at the ground or find another bush ?
I just cant stop laughing At your Post WA;-)))
Be careful one never knows how many maybe behind your Bush:-)
EP That is some dedication you have:-)
Miles makes smiles.
Progression
Miles makes smiles.
Progression
Windermere marathon this year was one circuit of lake. So you could always cut off the road a few miles in at Hawkshead, get on the ferry (concealing number somehow - you might need an accomplice with spare clothes) and rejoin at Bowness. Cuts off about half the distance.
It was such a great race, I feel evil just for suggesting it!
Very original DE, I will have to enter that one !
I have the Llanelli 10k this Sunday and have worked out that just when I am at the westerly point in the course the train that runs along the side of the coastal path will go past. I just need to jump on the the back of it and it will take me all the way from 2k to 8k in just a few minutes.
Have been out at Llanelli practicing my train-surfing so look out this weekend, a PB for me is guaranteed.
I thought she was perhaps having a training run, but a little later she had aquired a number, and at the finish I saw her with her medal.
Cheat !
No, fool ! She should have waited until there was no-one else about ;-)
Beaujolais Marathon
Cheat potential 10 /10
I think they have now changed the bike course, but in case they haven't, there is massive potential to knock about 20 miles off. On the second loop, simply pull off at the end of your first time around as oppsed to going round the loop again as you are supposed to. When i did the race in 2005 there was a big question mark over one of the female Hawai qualifiers doing exactly this.
Distance saved - about 20 miles or an hour(ish) of cycling.
Chances of getting caught - about 0 assuming the course is the same which I believe it now isn't.
Cheat potential 10/10 as there were no timing mats at the furthest point.