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Breasts and Banging against Bollards!
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A young woman, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting
herself into the cold, dark waters of Liverpool Harbour. As she stood on the
edge of the dock, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he
strolled by. "You're not thinking of jumping, are you?" he asked. "Yes, I am."
replied the sobbing girl. Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her
back from the edge. "Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what, I'm sailing
off for America tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life
over there? I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food
and water every night, and I'll look after you if you look after me."
The girl, having no better prospects, agreed and the sailor snuck her on board
that night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor would come to her lifeboat every
night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn. Then, during
the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship
and it's lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled young blonde
woman, and demanded an explanation.
The young woman came clean, "I've stowed away to get to America. One of the
sailors is helping me out, he set me up in here and brings me food and water
every night ... and he's screwing me."
The puzzled captain stared at her for a moment before a grin cracked his face
and he replied. "He certainly is, this is the Birkenhead Ferry!"
Sax - yeah, you're right about the Siameses.. I've just asked them and they looked at me & said, 'Tea..what's tea??'. Hopeless!
Feeling cr*p after a tough weekend of running so ended up dumping my sandwiches at lunchtime and braving the canteen instead... cottage pie & greenbeans followed by a double decker later I am feeling almost normal again!!!
im rambling round the threads in a bit of a post weekend stupour posting somewhat incomprehensible messages whilst drinking tea - milk and sugar Michelle ? - and wondering what i can eat next as i have nothing remotely massively carby to eat -it could be a bunch of bananas as thats the most decadent thing ive got in and i really cant be bothered to go to the shops !! toasted teacakes would be soooo nice!! and ive got the fire and central heating on as im freeeee-zzzzzzing!!
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of
laughter.
Whereabouts do you live Nic?
I wonder what race was in morden Park, it really is just down the road from me.
Nic - it might even have been my club training!!!
Josie - Did Benz sneak out of Jumpet Manor at any time?
4 finger kitkat
3 grain bread
2 pots o mousse
and a pizza marguerita!!!!
should just about coverit!
And for the cardio protective properties,of course!
Just had a little nap and feel a bit better.
Just a quickie today. I've been getting on soap boxes elsewhere
Hope you're all well.
Tulips
I expect it was one of them hogsmill people!
the coach i was on also went to stoke - after flying past near to trentham gardens -it then heads up to stoke (hanley) and it will be quite a trek back to Trentham if you havent got a lift
i will hopefully be getting a lift from trentham to stoke on the day
I got a taxi home, i was soooooooooo knackered
then drank a gin, posted a few posts and crashed
Slept for 7 hours straight
Still tired today at work, so i think Ill have a PROPER rest day, aand do hill work tomorrow am
He hasn't wee'd on the sofa yet :-)
he seemed so nice:))