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Walkback: Win The Penultimate Sprung Marathon Experience
Hi
I'm Charlie.
Please vote for me because I like free stuff, like the idea of getting coached by experts and have always wanted to go to Paris. You may not know me but I've long been a member here but never got round to posting because I could never see the point - until this free trip came along. Fantastic.
I have never posted on here before, indeed I have never actually run in a race but the personal trainer at my gym says I could probably go to the Olympics because I'm able to run for 3 minutes at the fastest speed the treadmill will go.
As I believe that witty, personal anecdotes are the secret to a good marathon (at least the secret to winning a marathon competition) I'd like to share with you a totally irrelevant story. The other day when I was on the treadmill because it was too snowy outside I did a little fart that sounded like bagpuss being tortured and smelt a bit like the meat in the discount aisle at Tesco.
Training wise, I've been doing a lot since the competition was announced. Last week I ran 3 times, 5 miles each - which means I will handle the schedule easily. Before that I drank a lot with my mates and got fat - I didn't have much time for running because I couldn't really see what was in it for me. But I'm willing to go on a diet and run 4 times a week if I get free running stuff.
I am one of the candidates for the sub 3 hour package and feel pretty confident I can do it. I ran a 10.5 second 100m in my trainers at school and have also done the Crown to King's Head bike ride which was 10 miles - and I still had enough energy to go ten-pin bowling in the evening.
I am a father of 3 wonderful kids who are the apple of my eye and to whom I am totally devoted. I'm perfectly willing to completely ignore them for the next 5 months in order to get lots of free gear and coaching and for a trip to Paris. To show my confidence I've already asked Gary, my new neighbour, if he minds if the kids stay at his car garage whilst I'm out running. I think it's important to mention this in the hope that other parents relate to me and the soft old bags get all misty eyed over my family situation and therefore procure more votes.
Even if I don't get selected I wish all my fellow contestants the best of luck. Because they ran twice at the selection day, breathed really hard at the end and all wore running shoes I know that, like me, they are all 100% committed to the sport of running. Personally, I'll post loads on the forums if I won the competition even though I showed absolutely no interest in doing so in the past.
Good luck with your jogging.
Vote Charlie!
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Comments
Mr M. I salute you!
Comedy genius
This is exactly the sort of vague and irrelevant connection that I was hoping for. I trust I have your vote.
Is that what they call a reverse taper?
*b-doom-tsh!*
Charlie - count me in, son, I like the cut of your jib!
<snigger>
can I vote for PhilPub though - his fart story made me laugh the most
Nah - something not quite right, too good at spelling or has found the spell check and you don't do that that easily.
Also that mug shot - all it needs is a number.
Has anyone else googled fluffy fart picture - or is it just me?