Oh the shame...

I tried to be good and keep up with my ironing pile but a woman came to our house in a special van this morning and took my ironing away.

I asked my wife what was going on and she said that I couldn't cope with the ironing anymore. She had gone behind my back and got me some "help". I know she means well, but I feel ashamed.

She says the lady will bring it back tomorrow in plastic bags and if I'm good and keep on top of the ironing in future she won't come back again.

What should I do Tim? I am a failure.



  • I thought it was the man coming to measure for our new carpets, so I didn't answer the door. When I realised what was going on, it was too late.
  • Thank goodness your other half is sensible.
  • Just because your wife is denying you these pleasures, don't despair.

    I am sure there are lots of forumites out there who will happily let you come round and do their ironing. I, for one, have an ever-growing pile that I never seem to get to the bottom of.

    If you're close to Beckenham, you would be welcome any time.

  • good point SR - if you're anywhere near Windsor, you're welcome to iron my sheets and duvet covers...
  • good point SR
    Tim - if you're anywhere near Windsor, you're welcome to iron my sheets and duvet covers...
    buggar - where's that edit thingy???
  • Whilst we are on a Laundry thread - has anyone seen my running socks ? I must have about 8 pairs of the double skin 1000 mile things knocking around somewhere. That would give me a fighting chance of having one pair to go on holiday with you'd think ? Naaaaah. I had to buy some on hols. So I've got some garish Saucony socks that are pretty easy to spot at 100 yards. Will these survive longer than plain white ?

    Anyone else have this problem ?
  • The ironing addiction withdrawal symptoms usually get better after the first three days - after a week you won't crave it so much, and after a month, you'll wonder why you ever did it in the first place.

    So don't dispair!!
  • This is a well observed phenomenon which occurs in women about to give birth. They look around their chaotic households and think 'Right, if anything's going to get done around here I'd better get it organised', then they get on the 'phone to their extensive support network of friends, relatives and paid help.

    Be concerned when white-coated officials arrive to take you away too.
  • Cougie, I know exactly where you socks have gone - they escaped through that magic portal in the washing machine, and joined all of the other socks in the world that have also escaped. They drink girlie fruity drinks and play beach volleyball all day long, just don't ask me how.

    I think my pink socks, as well as one of my cat socks, have recently emigrated. none of my sensible socks seem to want to join them though.
  • Hildy - cat socks? socks with cats or for cats?
  • Cougie,

    I think there is eiher a/ a tear in the fabric of time down the back of my undies drawer that sucks socks and pants into a parrallel dimension or b/ someone is throwing my old socks and pants away.

    Perhaps we could arrange a Forrest Gump style charity run around the country with a shopping trolley full or irons, ironing boards and Fabreeze. First stop Beckenham, second stop Windsor.

  • Hilde does ! I do know of a cat that insists on eating the toes out of socks, but their not the cats own. That'd be plain foolish.

    Well, if my socks are happy on the beach with their girlie fruity drinks, I suppose I should be happy for them. Just wish they'd have hung around with me for a little bit longer. Aaah, the places we could have gone. :-(
  • My Running Bear socks arrived last week and they each have a little bear on. I had to convince my wife and children that I bought them for their scientific wicking properties and cushioning, not for the little bears.

    I don't think they believe me.
  • Neil - I'd go with the parallel universe theory, coz I'm sure the Mrs wouldn't be throwing out old socks and underwear. Wives don't do that sort of thing! So do the bears stick out and make them difficult to iron?
  • Aaaah - Neil ! I've got 3 pairs of the Running Bear socks - I only got them in March. Do I know where ANY of them are ? Pah - Do I bugglery !!

    They were so cozy. No good for running, but great for after running. I had the nice thick ones. Sob. They'll be too hot playing on that beach.

    (and it should be Vaporesse for the ironing - lovely smell when my wife irons. Mmm)
  • Tim

    When you say you'll iron "while I am here" is that a sort of metaphysical approach to the value of ironing; i.e. "in the short time I have in this temporal plain I will iron as and when possible" or is it more of a "while I am here" in a sense of before I go to Sainsburys.

    I like Tim's First Law of Ironing and will have to think of something. A shirt is actually quite easy and pleasurable to iron, if done properley. There could be a Law here:

    Each section of a multi-sectioned garment must be ironed in order of size, from the smallest to the largest.

    Example: a shirt must be ironed as following: collar, yoke, cuffs, sleeves, front, back.
  • Cougie,

    Maybe I've got your socks. You never know. Synchronisity and all that.

    Must say that your comment about them being absolutely useless for running does cause me some concern. Tell me it ain't so.
  • Ah, a dispute over ironing technique. You seem to follow my smallest bits first routine, which is good. The yoke is the bit at the top of the back that you run across your shoulders - i.e. between the back and the collar. This needs to be ironed seperately from the main back and sleeves, otherwise you will get tiny creases at the top of the sleeves which are hard to remove.

  • Cat socks - my mum gave these to me many Christmasses ago, they are for humans but with cats printed on them. Rather tastefully I might add. But one of them ran away. Probably with my nice black lacy bra that went at around the same time. Either that, or some pervy boy who also lives in my house (student accommodation thingy) has been taking them. Urgh!
  • Neil - are they the black thick ones ? I think they have different ones. In my experience I had a blister or two with them on my longer runs. OK for short ones, but give them a go - maybe it was a shoe/sock/foot interraction that went wrong.

    They are great for after running though :-)

    (Then again I do have a thing for snuggly socks after long cold wet bike rides and runs)
  • If I print out the Ironing techniques and give them to my wife, do you think she'll hit me ? Or take it as a genuine helpful hint ?
  • Tim, glad to see that your technique is in line with best practice after all. However, it does look as though you need to brush up on your terminology.

    Dresses are difficult. My eldest started school last week and one of her dresses is pleated - let's not even go there! She also has a couple of school skirts that are Teflon coated. Getting the temperature right for those is where ironing ceases to be a science and enters the realms of art.

    Cougie, regarding your wife: all ironing related issues need to be handled with sensitivity. I suggest you engage her in a general chat about the topic and, if the moment seems right, raise a few more technical views. But be careful, you cannot push these things.
  • Isn't Teflon the stuff they put on cooking equipment in order to make it 'non-stick'? If so, then what on earth is it doing on a skirt? Waterproofing?
  • Hildegard, yes, it is that Teflon. This skirt is indestructable, so should last about three months.
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