Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
Options
Nipping into the bushes
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
oal4n - you sound like a reasonable person, and I may have shared your attitudes - but, with age has come problems such as stated in this thread.
Everything you say is perfectly logical, but has no relevance whatsoever, as you may find out in years to come, but, for your sake, I hope not.
Why the feck would you:
Grow up, go on a proper run, and get out of the town. Oh and if you don't like the smell get out of the kitchen.
FFS
M...eface
As for me. I mostly have a sport imminent induced poo. Happened when I played rugby, when I get changed for run, something triggers it.
Have I been when out? Lets see - numerous 50+ mile events, many long cycles and long runs. Mostly trail stuff. Of course I have been when out.
I run more than 5k too and don't do parkrun very often either. The reference was the 800+ people who can control their bowel movements on a short run and the OP who apparently can't. It surely wasn't that difficult to work out?
It was quite difficult.
Basically you are saying that only people without any bowel issues can go for a run. If they have bowel issue they should become obese, diabetic and become a drain on your society.
I'm so glad you aren't in charge.
I'm sure the OP would prefer not to dash off the course, it must wreck his splits. But I give him credit for persevering. With some good fortune his issue may pass.
I went through a phase of having to go on virtually every morning run, despite having already been. It went away - I never changed my diet either before it started or before it stopped.
It does seem to be your standards versus everyone else in the thread. Maybe you are too posh for this thread.
May you never get caught short
Meface
(Wait till he finds the thread on peeing on the bike deliberately to save time in an IM)
Someone always has to turn up on funny threads and spoil the fun. Quit with the judgemental shite and let the rest of us enjoy it eh?
I bow down to the level of control you have over your bowels. I work in a job where I don't have easy access to toilets, and have to try to plan accordingly. However I have been that close to having an accident in the past that I've leapt over farm fences, ripping my pants in the process, to get to an area of relative cover to get the job done.
Did you just leave the train idling on the tracks?
Again you seem to struggle to understand.
As I said - If I found i started needing the toilet mid run, I would have to alter my route to take that into account. I'm sure many others would do the same.
If the OP needs a shit half way round his short run, he could do the same, or he could change his diet to see if it helped or at the very least clean up his mess (Presumably most responsible dog owners clear up after their pet -is this any different.?). There are ways round every problem.
Blaming the nation's obesity and diabetes problem on incontinent runners is a strange one as is the idea that not wanting to shit outside counts as posh.
PMSL... I suppose that's frowned on too
For the avoidance of doubt:
*many times
does not equal
"every time"
When running 50, 60, 70, 80 miles a week you have to train at every available opportunity. Morning, noon and night. That sometimes means running within 30 minutes of eating. I live in a rural location. Foxes and badgers shit too. Never mind the sheep, cattle and horses. There's enough rain to wash stuff away. And just because the first world has become accustomed to collecting and concentrating excrement and pouring into our rivers after a bit of aerobic digestion, does that make it better for the environment?
Anyway. I take 3 shits before an A race marathon. It's the nerves usually. I'll not have to go again for days.
-Did I tell you about the time I nearly missed the start of the London, but used the Ladies as the queue was shorter? I even got to the start line with 30 seconds to spare.
Oal4n is your real name Nathanial Whiteadder?
Do you think chairs are the "devils work" and prefer to sit on spikes at home
So, er, you only do that during races?
training for last years marathon I was doing 5 mile laps so I was passing my house every 40 minutes or so. My body usually decided that 20 minutes from home was the ideal time to rebel. I once got to within 1/2 mile from home and had to jump behind a hedge. Luckily I live in a very rural part of Scotland and had a great view across the hills as the world dropped out of my bottom. I literally had no choice at that point...I was getting stomach cramps and I just had to go.
Sometimes there is nothing you can do other than find a secluded spot. Instantly. It's easier for me, I only have 3 farms in my glen and I could probably poop anywhere on my route without being seen by humans. Although midgie bites on my bum might take a bit of explaining and be really itchy!
Whilst running, I've been caught short twice. The first time was the most memorable as a herd of cows were very inquisitive, wondering what I was doing in their field. I think it was 6 cows all within about 5 metres of me, staring. Staring, and chewing.
There was a bull nearby looking particularly angry and if I hadn't already been shitting myself, I probably would have done soon after anyway.
That little episode ended up being about a 20-min mile. I'm pretty slow, but not that slow!
I did the Sandstone Trail Ultra the year before last, and in my naivety I forewent the "don't try anything new on race day" and had to change my gels (couldn't find any of my normal ones for sale close to race day).
10 miles in ... first gel down ... 10.1miles in ... oh lordy !!!
I will be forever thankful of two things that day ... firstly the Sandstone Trail has a number of thick wooded sections ... and secondly the trail is very well marked and my printed map was no longer required !
Booo
You need to learn the art of the handful of long grass, folded in half. It does quite a decent job, and there's no nasty paper left behind.
I'll bet you sh1t yourself again!! Poor ol alli
oal4n - you're in your 50s?, well actually that's quite young, as an age related problem it usually does'nt start until your 60's, so something to look forward to there, eh?
But, as I tried to point out, this problem is not a choice issue; its a condition, and may be caused by such things as ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, microscopic colitis, celiac disease, irritable bowel syndrome and bile acid malabsorption, or, as in my case age related runners diarrhoea.
It does not happen every time you run, I did a 30K trail run last sunday, no problems at all, but sometimes, WITH NO WARNING, i can get caught short within a mile of starting or near the end of a long run, or the middle, leaving you to clench, but eventually its sh*t or bust, and running back to a toilet with full shorts is no fun, believe me!
So, in your opinion, I should only run if I can make it to a toilet within a mile or so, which leaves me restricted to loops from my house or a planned run with a convenience every mile, and as for races - well just forget them.
So, my opinion is that this is a disability that makes running less pleasant than it once was, but I have no intention of stopping or letting other peoples opinions (ignorance) stop me.
ps. apologies for the lack of laughs in this post, have had no embarrassing moments yet, but they will come I'm sure
I bet I get told off now for contemplating going training AFTER I've had a meal. Must see if I can squeeze one out first. If I'm unlucky all I'll do is progress the daisy chain through the system and make a problem more likely.
I was going to - but you seem to be so happy doing it your way.
If anyone can boast a faster time then make yourself known, or I'm claiming the world record for the "thousand metre curl-out" at 5 mins 10 seconds.
The thing is, I wonder if we're looking at this wrong. It could be argued that the world record should be the longest time needed to clear the system, not the shortest. I consider it a test of endurance, and it certainly gives a good test to the thighs and glutes. The phrase "shaking like a shitting dog" springs to mind.
Boing for Oaln4n
Oh! my, why did I come in here!!
Grab a paper and sit down.
How did I miss this one....regarding the wetsuit...I would sit in the shallows and strip off the wetsuit...mess around a bit and pretend I am just enjoying the water whilst carefully moving my trisuit legs to get rid of waste into the water.......but I can actually say that whilst peeing non stop in my wetsuit I have never shat in it.....yet
yep - true story. 'twas at Vitruvian 2005 a couple of months after the first big pirate sailing to IMCH. he said to me before we entered the water that he could do with a dump but I thought no more about it. sure enough - he did - in his wetsuit in the water as desperation overtook his struggle against containment. and no - he didn't change in T1 as it was a day of pissing rain so he got washed off on the bike course (after suffering 2 punctures as retribution - ha!!). it was only after when I saw our swim times that I clicked that he was just ahead of me for the whole swim.....but with the Rutland Water goose poo, I'm not sure I would have noticed much difference in taste
I cannot believe I managed to miss this thread.
FWIW if you need a poo you need a poo.
Runner, swimmer, cyclist and triathlete
Devoid of a competitive streak
Who cares, I'm in it for the medal!