London Social Report - Friday 13th!

Ouch my head hurts and I'm never touching another drop of alcohol for as long as I live. Believe me? Nah.

Oh where do I start (BTW I'm still drunk but I can't sleep until I've said my apologies), erm, well, what can I remember....Well when I got there at a fraction before 6, I couldn't see anyone so I got myself a beer and went and sat down. Then thank God Spans seemed to materialise out of nowhere and I was no longer a lemon on my own (or a wooden banana, but more on that later).

So anyway, then the worrying aspect of who's that guy sitting on his own reading a paper that keeps looking at us, ok understandable I know :) Anyway Spans was getting a real complex as he was in her line of vision and she could see him looking over. Then..Jon and his wooden banana arrived (more on the banana later, be patient..) and we asked Jon to check out the guy to see if he recognised him, then Spans plucked up the courage to mouth across then room "Are you Ashley?", blank looks from the bloke and a few blushes from Spans later, the man left. So who was he? Then it was a slow trickle of forumites and I was getting worried that I really would be stuck with Jon and his wooden banana. Gareth was the next to arrive, texting me from the bar what did we want to drink, honestly some people are soooo lazy. I was about to text back but then he walked over :)Then who, well I can't remember the order but I think the following were in attendance

Me, Jon, Spans, Gareth, Snoop, Legless, 'Sweeper, BrenG, Gavo, SusieBee, Ashley - apparently on his own at the bar and didn't spot us numb heads in the corner! I'm sure there were more and I can't think, oh sorry if I've left your name out, slap me hard next time (PLEASE!).

There were a few drunken texts flying about not only to and from absent forumites or ones on their way, but also across the table. I think it didn't help that I thought it would be hilarious to stuff my phone down my bra. Nuff said.

But not as drunk as my other half when he arrived, in fact at one point SusieBee said to me, Caz, look after him please. I was not in any fit state to look after him, like the blind leading the blind.

Anyway then there was the incident with the photocards again, I'm sorry Jon I just find your's so hilarious, the photo I mean. And Jon, sorry about your you know what, it was a complete accident! I think that sent me into a fit of hysterics.

Oh the wooden banana, well Jon couldn't help but whip it out and show everyone, he's so proud, apparently it went in everyone's drink and when I couldn't get my photocard back from the lads, I threatened to shove the wooden banana up Jon's backside unless he gave it back. It worked in double quick time.

I don't really know who made a t!t of themselves, but I'm sure I did, I lived up to my drunken, naughty persona, ah well it is Christmas :)

So who's up for next week? Or are you all too scared now?

Anyway on the subject of hangovers, I'm sure I'll have a 3 star one at least, I think Ant may beat me and have a 4 star, lets wait and see once we sober up.

BTW did anyone else do a Burger King crawl afterwards? We did, we went to the BK on Piccadilly Circus, I had a spicy bean burger and he had a chicken royale. Then as we walked to Leicester Square I decided I needed the loo (again!), so we went in the BK on Leicester Square, I had large onion rings and he had a chicken royale! I reminded him this morning and he said NO! Oh yes baby, you did, OINK! At least it wasn't a keeebab.

We got a cab home as by this time it had gone midnight and we both were staggering around like a pair of drunks (who us?). He doesn't remember any of that, so maybe he's forgotten everthing else too, tee-hee.

Some come on kids, tell me what happened over your side of the table and don't let me be the only drunken idiot last night :)


  • Hiya, good time then :)
  • Morning NN, blimey I didn't think anyone else would be up just yet.

    Yes thank you a very good night and I'm not exactly sure what happened at times, but I think I misbehaved quite a bit, but hey, it was a laugh :) (I'm definitely going to change my piccie to a nun, that photo does strange things to my personality)

    What about you, how was your Friday night?
  • Had a normal quiet night down the local till about 12.30 with SlowButSure, and then up since 8am this morning, sounds like your night was much more fun though :)
  • all I want (dare) to say Caz is that you made us mere males VERY happy last night...
  • NN, you need to come to one of these events, they are mad. It's good to see they are doing one up north too. I think we should arrange a mammouth bash sometime and meet up for one hell of a party, somewhere slap bang in the middle of the country. Then there could be a recovery run the following morning/afternoon :)

    Snoop, oops, well, I think I searched you too, I didn't er, have an accident with you too did I?
  • the rest of us made a pact together after you left that what we saw last night will NEVER be divulged on the forum - your modesty is safe with us (however, there is always the picture evidence!)
  • What? What picture? Your winding me up snoopy, aren't you?

    Erm, what you saw? Oh no don't tell me I stipped off and danced maked on the table again? Bum, I wish I could stop doing that :)
  • I mean naked, I still can't focus yet. I'm on my second cup of coffee.
  • God my spelling really is cr*p this morning, I meant stripped.

    Oh I give up.
  • The Offical Hangover Ratings System

    1 star hangover *

    No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you. You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka redbulls. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

    2 star hangover * *

    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

    3 star hangover * * *

    Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive. Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because her perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts
    and a litre of coke watching daytime TV. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.
  • no, it was better than that!

    anyway, thanks for putting on the show - it will live on in the memory for ever more.

    (shame Sporty Totty wasn't as pissed as you - what a double act that would be - still there's always next week!)
  • 4 star hangover * * * *

    You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving or it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems (depending on your gender). Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from the second-grade class picture circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one of the following, Home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone, or a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before. You scare small children in the street just by walking past them

    5 star hangover * * * * *

    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe......very gently.

    6 star hangover * * * * * *

    You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that you bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls. You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your bum come out your mouth on the last occasion. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/He abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. Work is not an option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving. You vow never to touch a drop again, that is until next time.
  • Snoop, what can be worse than that?

    SusieBee was trollied and she lost her mobile phone AGAIN! Nice of venom to text insults about Jon and he called Susie on my phone, ah bless.

    Yeah I think Spans was quite drunk, but I'm no judge when I've had too many.
  • you'll just have to piece together what happened from the others when they report in - but as I said, it would not be chivalrous of me to say any more at the mo.

    have a good weekend Caz!
  • Yeah you too.

  • Just your average humdrum Friday night out then?

  • Morning Ricardo! Boy you change a lot.

    Actually I've just had a lie down and just as I was dropping off to sleep, a few more snippets of memory came back and well er....

    I'm sorry alright everyone! I'm so ashamed. I'm definitely changing my picture to a nun.

    Or maybe it was the booze....
  • Hey Caz, just so you know, I'm the only nun on these fora!! Hope you're feeling better now. All I drank last night was a bit of whisky as I watched a weird Japanese film.
  • So Caz, I guess yours is an orange juice tomorrow. The truth will out, it's not in the spirit of the forum to keep secrets :)
  • Hi Hildy and Murf how are you both? I've just been reading the northern socials threads and feeling jealous, I think we should hold one the same night daaan saaath!

    Although why I'm ready to disgrace myself again so soon I don't know. Actually I feel the need to go for a run to compensate for being so naughty, but alas, I'm at my boyfriends and I have no running shoes with me, darn.

    We're off clubbing tonight, so no chance of my body recovering yet. I hope I keep a level of sanity tonight though, for a change.

    Advice to the northern lassies, don't get p!ssed and flash yer knickers. Not that I did, did I? :)

  • Hiya Caz - such a shame you haven't got any running shoes eh? Fancy not leaving a spare pair there for this sort of occassion!

    So what would you advise the northern lassies to do? Stay sober and flash their knickers? (All the better to remember doing it the following morning - the guilt/grief without the hangover!).

    Looking forward to hearing ALL about it tomorrow - the only worry is, will 10 miles be enough! And are you secure enough to let the rest of us run around tomorrow without you being with us to know what's being said?

    Enjoy tonight!!
  • B*gger it I knew there was a flaw in my plan for tomorrow.

    Boys/girls you made a pact remember? No, well, neither do I!

    It'll all be embroidered ricardo, I know them. Although I have a secret weapon to keep Jon's gob shut.

    See you tomorrow.
  • ARGH! I have just realised I left Tep's name off, sorry mate! He was there.

    Well you'll just have to slap me hard next time won't you :)

    I'm gonna search for a nun piccie right now.
  • Sh!te I forgot Jonathan too, he was there. Sorry!

    Well I'm defo on for a beating next time.


  • Ooooh Caz, you are in trouble aren't you!!

    Just the way you like it by the sound of things!!
  • GavoGavo ✭✭✭
    One of the more sober members of the London social crew - didn't even have a hangover or dehydration this morning. Had the worst seat in the house last night between Caz & Jon and left relatively early at 1130 so I may have missed the worst excesses.

    To Windsor tomorrow & then the Tavern again next Friday.
  • looks like I missed all the fun, and half of the peeps, cos I had to leave early-bloody tubes on a go slow and it took double the normal time to get home, to a packed pub and had to dive behind the ramp, and serve till 10.30, then down a few more guiness's and munch a rather morish ruby!!!!

    Caz- if you are gonna get naked/flash/make a tit of yourself, you could have done the decent thing and 'performed' before I left!!

    Oh well, will have to see if I can arrange to have next Friday off, and stay till the last tube home!!!!!

  • Sounds like the best seat in the house to me!!

  • Legless - you still Fagless?

    You Londoners do have some fun, don't you! All makes Dublin seem a bit dull altho we did fit 26 miles in as well didn't we!
  • Speak for yourself rich-by 01.30 I was completely b*ll*cks in the hotel bar in Dubbers, and no I'm not!!!!!!!!!
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