Ok Glasgow joke .. what you dont understand ... just ask !!!
Glasgow Earthquake appeal.
URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL
AT 00.54 ON MONDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER 2002 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE HIT MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz sh*ttin' masel", "Ah need some jellies".
The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Untold disruption and distress was caused:
* Many were woken well before their giro arrived
* Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged
* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed
*The cone fell off the head of the statue outside the Modern Art Gallery
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow
*One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
*Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
*The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.
*Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.
HOW YOU CAN HELP Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: - Sovvy rings Baseball caps Shell suits Tesco two stripe trainers White socks Chunky gold chains
Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include: - Faggots Buckfast Grey Peas Buckfast Pork Scratchings Buckfast Tripe and Onions Buckfast "Pigs Blood Pud" Buckfast Fray Bentos Pies Buckfast
* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four
* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles
* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim
Buckfast is a tonic wine made in a monastry somewhere I believe in Scotland and is for medicinal purpose... IE.. very cheap and around very very high in alchohol ... probably about £1.50 a bottle and 15% proof ....
Comments
Benz, If you're there where is windy thread please?
its on general - i nearly chuckled myself sensible earlier!
you mentioned it in a late night ramble - I said I discovered running at 17
what you dont understand ... just ask !!!
Glasgow Earthquake appeal.
URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL
AT 00.54 ON MONDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER 2002 A MAJOR
EARTHQUAKE HIT MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE
EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering:
"Ah wiz sh*ttin' masel", "Ah need some jellies".
The Earthquake decimated the area, causing
approximately £30 worth of damage.
Untold disruption and distress was caused:
* Many were woken well before their giro arrived
* Several priceless collections of mementos from the
Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged
* Three areas of historic and scientifically
significant litter were disturbed
*The cone fell off the head of the statue outside
the Modern Art Gallery
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to
come to terms with the fact that something interesting
has happened in Glasgow
*One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old
mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little
Chelsea came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni
slept through it. I was still shaking when I was
watching Trisha the next morning."
*Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
*The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship
4000 crates of buckfast to the area to help the
stricken masses.
*Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble
and have found large quantities of personal belongings
including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth
Duke at Argos.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Clothing is most sought after.
Items required include: -
Sovvy rings
Baseball caps
Shell suits
Tesco two stripe trainers
White socks
Chunky gold chains
Food parcels may be harder to put together but are
necessary all the same.
Required foodstuffs include: -
Faggots
Buckfast
Grey Peas
Buckfast
Pork Scratchings
Buckfast
Tripe and Onions
Buckfast
"Pigs Blood Pud"
Buckfast
Fray Bentos Pies
Buckfast
* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of
four
* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day,
where children can sniff glue and spike up
among the national collection of stinging nettles
* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious
compensation claim
Please send your credit card number.
Whats buck fast
Other than that lol
p.s
Go lurk on dark side, Benz and BZ making up.
come and join us then!!
Im BZ by the way, new namwe on dark side
Yep, whats bucfast
Porridge?
Thread getting long enuff
Bit upmarket?
IE.. very cheap and around very very high in alchohol ... probably about £1.50 a bottle and 15% proof ....