Stick with IronMate™ he’s a rocket He'll fetch the session from the plan Cause if you want the best 'uns And you don't ask questions Then IronMate™ he’s your man
Where it all comes from Is a mystery It's like doing 1000 push-ups And swmming relay twice in the sea But heres the one thats driving me berserk Why do only IronMate™’s plans and nuggets work
A long long time ago I can still remember how That start line used to cause me fear But I knew if I had my chance That I could pedal up a hill in France And maybe they would high five me and cheer
But IronMate's nuggets were generic He made me swim like The Eel (Eric) I had the race permission But I sank before transition...
I can't remember what I paid For all those lame ass charts he made But I marathoned like Goodey (Jade) **The day my IronMan dream died** So
Bye, bye my great coach IronMate Pushed my pedal for the medal but I finished too late Them good ole volunteers said they just couldn't wait (till fkn midnight) Singing "Maybe you should try Race 4 Life?" "Maybe you should try Race 4 Life..."
<span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; color: black;">Training all day,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Dressed like a gay,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">At least you’re not wasting your life, (as you’ve completed over 30 IM & 70+ marathons I’ll have people know), <br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Still you keep a little here,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Cos this triathlon’s dear,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Yeah, Too fckn right.<span class="apple-converted-space"> <br style="text
<span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; color: black;">Training all day,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Dressed like a gay,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">At least you’re not wasting your life,(as you’ve completed over 30 IM & 70+ marathons I’ll have people know), <br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Still you keep a little here,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Cos this triathlon’s dear,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Y
Working on the Ironmate site, From Morning 'till night, That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Then no pint with the boys, But still a tortoise, That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Training all day, Dressed like a gay, Then blow it on bling n sh!te,
And you kiss all the frames, And know all their names, From studying shite.
Working on the run, Drinking Gatorade, having fun, That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te,
You’re really a clown, Spreadin' bllx around, That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Training all day, Dressed like a gay, At least you’re not wasting your life, (as you’ve completed over 30 IM & 70+ marathons I’ll have people know),
Still you keep a little here, Cos this triathlon’s dear, Yeah, Too fckn right.
Yeah you’re playing my game, Ironmate is my name, So full o’shite.
Telling the lie, With a glint in my eye, 'Cause tommorrow you'll be back on my site,
And you piss on the frames, Playing tough mental games You’re up for the fight.
Yeah you play the game, Then chant a carp saying,
That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
If I don’t finish - then shame, I must up my game, Keep pedalin’ n sh!te.
Still Working on the run, Drinking Iso for fun, That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te,
I will wear that Ironcrown With me M-dot dressing gown That's peddlin’ sh!te, About pedalin’ n sh!te, Training all day,Just a T-shirt as pay, An Ironmate for life,
And it’s that same inner ear, Heart beating drum I hear, That line still sounds sh!te.
Yeah you all play this game, You know what I’m saying, Can’t even stop for a sh!te.
Telling the lie, With a glint in your eye, 'Cause tommorrow you'll be back on the site,
I hope I don’t go lame, Cos Iron’s in my name, Fck, this trisuit’s too tight.
Yeah you all know my name, But it's auf wiedersehen, That's the end of my sh!te.
i've only got as far as yesterday around ten, i've woken the dog, drowned out the television and generally very unpopular with my snorting and laughing.... have to take a break my sides, cheeks and face hurts from all of this... i'll try and go the whole way later, going to take a break now and come back to this
So excuse me bullshitting, But these things I do You see I like money And I want lots off you I been there I done that Those tee shirts I gottem So it's time to bend over and Take my nuggets in your bottom
And you can tell EVREHBODEH I'm your Ironmate I may be quite simple... etc etc
Comments
Stick with IronMate™ he’s a rocket
He'll fetch the session from the plan
Cause if you want the best 'uns
And you don't ask questions
Then IronMate™ he’s your man
Where it all comes from
Is a mystery
It's like doing 1000 push-ups
And swmming relay twice in the sea
But heres the one thats driving me berserk
Why do only IronMate™’s plans and nuggets work
La-la-la-la-la…..
God bless IronMate™
Viva IronMate™
Long live IronMate™
C'est magnifique IronMate™
Magnifique IronMate™
A long long time ago
I can still remember how
That start line used to cause me fear
But I knew if I had my chance
That I could pedal up a hill in France
And maybe they would high five me and cheer
But IronMate's nuggets were generic
He made me swim like The Eel (Eric)
I had the race permission
But I sank before transition...
I can't remember what I paid
For all those lame ass charts he made
But I marathoned like Goodey (Jade)
**The day my IronMan dream died**
So
Bye, bye my great coach IronMate
Pushed my pedal for the medal but I finished too late
Them good ole volunteers said they just couldn't wait (till fkn midnight)
Singing "Maybe you should try Race 4 Life?"
"Maybe you should try Race 4 Life..."
To realise you triathlon dream
If the IronMate tells you so?
Now do you believe that Ironman "nugs"
Will win you medals and finish line hugs
And can he train you how to race real slow?
Well, I know that you've been trained by him
Cause I saw your limited edition ironman finisher teeshirt in the bin
You forgot to unclip your shoes
And crashed into the transition portaloo-ooos
I was a lonely ironman wannabee
With a neoprene gimp suit full of wee
So nobody would high five me
The day my Ironman dream died
I started singin'
Bye bye.... Etc
Better Candy...
<span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; color: black;">Working on the Ironmate site,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">From Morning 'till night,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">That's peddlin’ sh!te,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">About pedalin’ n sh!te,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Then no pint with the boys,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">But still a tortoise,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">That's peddlin’ sh!te,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">About pedalin’ n sh!te,
<span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; color: black;">
<span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Training all day,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Dressed like a gay,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Then blow it on bling n sh!te,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">And you kiss all the frames,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">And know all their names,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">From studying shite.<span class="apple-converted-space"> <br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Working on the run,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Drinking Gatorade, having fun,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">That's peddlin’ sh!te,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">About pedalin’ n sh!te,
<span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; color: black;">You’re really a clown,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Spreadin' bllx around,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">That's peddlin’ sh!te,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">About pedalin’ n sh!te,
<span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; color: black;">Training all day,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Dressed like a gay,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">At least you’re not wasting your life, (as you’ve completed over 30 IM & 70+ marathons I’ll have people know),
<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Still you keep a little here,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Cos this triathlon’s dear,<br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> <span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Yeah, Too fckn right.<span class="apple-converted-space"> <br style="text
Well ...... I spose it does rhyme
FFS. It's NFRS to build a backwards compatible webshite is it?
ASP you were.
A new Poet Laureate.
Hey it's not big and clever to laugh at people when they've made a tit of themselves just trying to bring some joy with their verse you know.
<span style="color: #465584; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left; background-color: #fffef0;"><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /> fckn doing me swede in> As you were<span style="background-color: #fffef0; color: #465584; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left;"><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" />. <bunchoffcknarse>
I don't think anyone has any idea about how much I'm laughing.
...in a friendly way.
Working on the Ironmate site,
From Morning 'till night,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Then no pint with the boys,
But still a tortoise,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Training all day,
Dressed like a gay,
Then blow it on bling n sh!te,
And you kiss all the frames,
And know all their names,
From studying shite.
Working on the run,
Drinking Gatorade, having fun,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
You’re really a clown,
Spreadin' bllx around,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Training all day,
Dressed like a gay,
At least you’re not wasting your life, (as you’ve completed over 30 IM & 70+ marathons I’ll have people know),
Still you keep a little here,
Cos this triathlon’s dear,
Yeah, Too fckn right.
Yeah you’re playing my game,
Ironmate is my name,
So full o’shite.
Telling the lie,
With a glint in my eye,
'Cause tommorrow you'll be back on my site,
And you piss on the frames,
Playing tough mental games
You’re up for the fight.
Yeah you play the game,
Then chant a carp saying,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
If I don’t finish - then shame,
I must up my game,
Keep pedalin’ n sh!te.
Still Working on the run,
Drinking Iso for fun,
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
I will wear that Ironcrown
With me M-dot dressing gown
That's peddlin’ sh!te,
About pedalin’ n sh!te,
Training all day,Just a T-shirt as pay,
An Ironmate for life,
And it’s that same inner ear,
Heart beating drum I hear,
That line still sounds sh!te.
Yeah you all play this game,
You know what I’m saying,
Can’t even stop for a sh!te.
Telling the lie,
With a glint in your eye,
'Cause tommorrow you'll be back on the site,
I hope I don’t go lame,
Cos Iron’s in my name,
Fck, this trisuit’s too tight.
Yeah you all know my name,
But it's auf wiedersehen,
That's the end of my sh!te.
As you work?
After the Ironman
To be an Ironman I will get recognition
I study the results like a statistician
From the swim & bike & run and especially the transition
I wear with pride my Ironman t shirt limited edition
I entered on line and paid by credit card
In my mind I do train hard
if I don't finish I will be mentally scarred.
To the outside world the ironman is not possible, In my mind everything is possible.
A banner at the ironman finish reads "Anything is possible"
In my mind we all survive,
To the outside world if I finish I get a high five.
Armchair athletes think it's not possible, I will not be told.
The pain is worse than I was told, it far worse its four fold
To finish the triathlon I must be bold.
To finish inside the cut of time, I must pedal If I want an Ironman finishers medal
At the end of the triathlon road. Its priceless but no pot of gold.
32 x Iron distance finsiher Ironmate McGonagall, inspired to write a poem. Please dont copy mine write your own.
I'm not getting the tortoise?
Hahahaha - what a great read over brekky!
I'm not getting the tortoise is the best post ever!!
Send me lots of money
I'll sell you a plan
And some bullshit nuggets
About Ironman
I don't have much talent and
I spout complete shite but
I accept cash or PayPal
On the IronMate website
If you want a medal
But then again, no
You do what I tell you and
You'll race fkn slow
I know that it's crap but
I wrote it in minutes
My gift is this plan and
There's fck all use in it
And you can tell everybody
I'm you IronMate
I might be a bit simple but
My poetry's great
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind if I charge you up front
'Cause after you dnf, you might think I'm a BLEEP
I stand at the start line, and
I feel no fear
My heart thumping so loud
I can hear my heart thumping in my inner ear
I know it's not easy
In fact it's four fold
But to win that limited edition ironman finisher tee shirt
You have to be bold
So excuse me bullshitting,
But these things I do
You see I like money
And I want some off you
I been there I done that
I got the tee shirt
So you better be receptive when
my nuggets start to squirt
And you can tell everybody
I'm you IronMate
I may be quite simple, but
My poetry's great
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind if I charge you up front
Cause after you DNF, you might think I'm a BLEEP
Top work, Candy
i've only got as far as yesterday around ten, i've woken the dog, drowned out the television and generally very unpopular with my snorting and laughing.... have to take a break my sides, cheeks and face hurts from all of this... i'll try and go the whole way later, going to take a break now and come back to this
Sorry, the last stanza was too weak
So excuse me bullshitting,
But these things I do
You see I like money
And I want lots off you
I been there I done that
Those tee shirts I gottem
So it's time to bend over and
Take my nuggets in your bottom
And you can tell EVREHBODEH
I'm your Ironmate
I may be quite simple... etc etc