Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
Options
IM France Race Reports
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
Oh, I expect so, yes. Definitely not based on anything as flimsly as prior experience of just how long it takes you to get ready, or anything like that. Nooooo......
I used my aerobars. Didnt do me a right lot of good in the grand scheme of things, but I agree with Will, worth having them. Without them I'd have missed the cut-off by.... more!
Big thanks to all those that took photos and have put them up.
Keg - It was good to see you on the Monday as I wasn't sure how bad you were - we just knew you'd gone to the med tent. It sounds like you don't have enough time for IM at the moment - no shame in that. Halves are still a lot of fun and more blaggable if your training time disappears into the black hole of work.
Petal - you really are an inspiration.
flyaway - what else can I say that I haven't said already? Bad luck. I don't think you did anything wrong; you just got unlucky on the day. You'll be back! Don't underestimate what you did acheive - mainly it's the commitment to training that's hard more than the race itself.
IMS - Well done! That sounds like a very tough course. I feel a right big girl's blouse. Are you out of the closet then?
Lindi -ace bike split. And definitely a cheerful PB. Did yu manage to find your bag?
WHWH - 12:11 is a very good time on that course. Well done.
Debbo - another one notched up. Sometimes the finishing is the acheivment and times are not relevant.
Monique - great time overall and especially impressive mara.
Calf- you handled your pre-race accident really well. Well done and recover well.
Foggy - you looked a lot better than yu felt! I liked you Jalabert comparison.
Holly_G - I love the way you do exactly what is right for you. It works! You really looked in control on the run - and blimey, can't you walk fast?!
Meldy - Well done! Though next year I hope not to be worrying where you are 10mins before the cut off! On the evidence of this race, I don't think I will be
Symes - you looked way too comfy on the run! Right up until the cramp incident.
Bassy - you were great fun the whole weekend. Glad you enjoyed it. I didn't notice your mum! And probably did contribute to the swearing though.
eccentric - well done mate. I can sympathise with your gut problem after IMDE. Position wise you did actually improve on last year and, given that a slower people might avoid Nice, that's probably a bigger improvement than is obvious.
Hollywoof - nice suncream
SwissBobby -where are you??!
Melli - yes, Holly walks ridiculously fast - I had to run and walk so she didn't leave me behind
we were discussing her giving up tri and taking up race walking as we went round
OK.... long post warning....
Build up - found myself half a stone heavier this year than last, with a fair bit less training done than last year.... but May was a good long month of training, I've run 2 marathon PBs since IMA, plus I've checked and it seems I'm even more gorgeous than I used to be... so what could possibly go wrong?
Pre-race - very piratey behaviour - after surviving the tension of getting my bike through the easyjet experience, I tried releasing nervous tension in the hotel pool... with an absence of sense and a good dose of stupidity, managed to smash half a front tooth out... quickly found my way to a French dentist... who was really rather lovely
She was very nice indeed - although she did make some comment about "In France we say the English have goofy teeth - we say they English like to chase the roast beef" Ha ha ha ha ha.... Laugh? I almost dribbled. Anyways... good news overall... no big damage.... disaster averted... and it gave me and Doozer something to talk about other than swimming... phew 
(Alarmingly, there were several other mini-disasters around - Doozer's broken bike bit, JJ's stolen bag, the non-pirate girl who broke her arm just 3 days before the race (eeek!), Calf's broken chain with accompanying pavement battering ... it was scary out there).
Test swim in the sea was OK - didn't taste too bad and wasn't too lumpy. Registration was OK - quite efficient. Bike racking was horrid - queueing up at 4pm showed the heat in extreme clarity - it was just so sunny and so hot - how were we going to run in that temperature?
Race morning - eeeek... wibble... T-zero is a really, really tense and scary place to be. Despite losing my virgin status last year, I managed to leave my special needs bag in the hotel room... and then also lost my bike (had a real panic that it had been moved/pinched... when actually I was looking at the empty slot for 1061 - just two away from 1063 where my bike was safely stowed)... still did much better than Kanga though - his third ironman and yet he was still running around headless with his bags and losing his goggles... best quote of the morning from flyaway - Q. "Are you ready?" A. "I was born ready" - loved it - top attitude - wish I could come up with sound bites like that - without the mechanical, I had no doubts flyaway would have had a superb daylight finisher shot.
Over the tannoy Duffy stopped telling me to beg for Mercy, then there was a five minute warning, then they played Sheryl Crow - If it makes you happy, then why are you so sad? Good question...
Sent a wake up txt to Shiraz; then headed down to the beach; past some pirate supporters and with a goggle-eyed Kanga buzzing back and forth looking for stuff; on with the wettie and then I park myself at the back of the 1:02 pen... now for the first time in days I actually relaxed as the man on the jet ski kept going past sticking his fingers up...
Swim - Mike Tyson and Giant Haystacks both came out of retirement and decided to swim with me - punch, jab, swipe, grab, wrestle, pummel... not much fun at all... far far rougher than Austria... lost my goggles twice, stopped once more to empty them... changed my swim shape so that I didn't reach so far and so that my elbows protected my head... really just tried to keep out of trouble - just had to maintain my position in the pack - couldn't overtake cos of lack of space - there were just people everywhere including some swimming at 90 degrees to everyone else and including loads of synchro pincer teams. Next time I think I might try to be a bit more pushy on the start line...
One good point was that the jellyfish were cute - saw a couple of them hanging around 2-3m down below - they looked somewhat confused by the 2500 swimmers above them... loved the little fish living in among their stingers... After maybe 40 minutes I was just about getting some space to swim in... then the "half way" point arrived - and so everyone got funnelled into a little patch of water - smack, wallop, swipe again... good to see Slummo and BendyJ on the beach, then back out into the ring for round 2.
Had a chat first with Doozer, then with Foggy (top swim sandbagging from him!). Had a go at a man who pushed past my chair - what was his hurry? 
Then finally couldn't think of anything else to talk to Foggy about - so headed off for a third layer of suncream and a pootle round the hills...
T1 - Reached the shore - 1:03 ish - bit slower and a lot more roughed up than last year - a good strong hand helped me out - then there were lots of pirate support crew - including the lovely SpansZilla with a txt hotline to Shiraz - * huge thanks * for sending her the updates - MWAH! Up the ramp - past Oxy, JJ and others, then into the tea tent for a nice sit down and a cup of coke
Bike - Tough (scenic) course, started slowly with lots of pedal faffing (BtS took maybe 6 photos before I even got one cleat in); then fast and flat for 10 miles; then a short sharp climb; lovely pirate support - orsum graffiti - but my heart rate rocketed while I was busy reading, then a real long steady climb, then a town called Tourettes (of course I joined in with the "Sh1t Fck Bllcks"!) then more real long steady climbs; I took on lots of food and drink (sorry for those who ran out!) - really did well at maybe 800ml per hour plus 10+ gels - although I did start to lose count later on; then the chance to abuse just a few pirates ([u]cr@p[/u] swimmer g-dog especially) as they came past me; then some lovely pirate support on the switchback - real top supporting - ta. I was drinking and eating well - first ever time on gels really... had one scare when going through a narrow village street - there was a huge bang from below me and suddenly my feet felt warm and wet - what had happened? Had an artery exploded? Nope - just a "flat" coke bottle exploding...
Don't tell anyone.... but I actually found the uphills were quite good - found I kept my heart rate under control and I was catching many of les muppets who had overtaken me on the earlier sections. It was a tad depressing though when I got to signs which said 5km to the top and worked out that at my current speed then that was at least half an hour away... but the views were quite good... and also something someone (Dark Vader? Disorderly?) wrote about looking forward to the bike really cheered me up for the whole day! I definitely smiled when I finally reached the top of the last hill - 130km done, feeling good with lots of food and drink inside me, with the legs still feeling fresh, ready to wizz down the big descent that everyone seems to have loved so much....
Than came absolute panic - terror from a front wheel puncture - I was doing maybe 25mph, and, as I turned into a sharp left-hand corner, I felt the front tyre fold and the bike start to slide. I straightened back up and then the next few seconds involved screaming, some wobbles, a patch of gravel, and then an excursion up onto the grass for some mtb action. The screaming continued as I went up and down the lumpy verge... eventually coming to a stop up on the side of a few rocks. Somehow I got my feet out of the pedals and on to the ground. My heart rate target was blown - pounding away....
That had been really really close to a huge spill - not that far from the cliff either... Took a few deep breaths, crossed the road to the non-cliff side, got the tyre off, replaced the tube, put some CO2 into the atmosphere (first time I'd ever used a cannister and it didn't work well!), got some cross training in on the hand pump, waved to the four pirates who came past (Lindi? Calf? a couple of others) in amongst hundreds of others, then had my first pee of the day before setting off.
Quickly discovered my front brake was a tad knackered - think the front wheel's a bit buckled and so the front braking made a lot of noise and caused a lot of vibration. Added to this my front tyre was still a bit soft - so discretion (fear?) took over and I somewhat gingerly proceeeded down the next 20km of downhill hairpins using just my rear brake... a lot of peeps came zooming past me - lots of odd looks at me - they had no idea why I was going so slow nor smiling so much...
Managed an extra big smile when I came across the next timing mat - knowing that peeps (Shiraz, JD, lots of others!) were watching IMlive, and would see I was still going... then had some very cross words when I stopped at the next aid station to try to get some more air - how could they not have a track pump???
Did see an eagle as I came down the valley, did manage to keep eating and drinking... didn't particular enjoy the bits where the tarmac contained cunning drop-offs - what were they about? Also didn't really like seeing three ambulances attending race crashes - could so easily have been me....
More ORSUM graffitti - huge smile from me - to Candy, IronMin, MrFlyaway, Oxy, JJ and whoever else was out there on Saturday on their hand and knees - THANKS
Then back on to the flat roads into town, with a strong cooling breeze in my face. As Nice got closer I started to fantasize about how fast I might be able to run... plus I started to overtake descenders back again - I didn't need the front brake on the flat and I could feel I had loads left in my legs.
T2 - take the effin bike, just take it - I never wanna see it again... then another nice sit down in the tea tent - lots and lots of dollops of suncream (Mrs Foggy later confused my skin tone with Ronald McDonald), some more coke and then when the third helper in a row came by with suncream I knew it was time for the off...
Run - hot, boiling, not-Torquay - apparently it was 33C in the shade... and I didn't see any shade at all until 32km later... had a bit of a problem with my Garmin... had some confusion over whether it was on km or miles.... as a result started off with a 7 minute mile... but soon slowed down to 8, 9, 10, 11, 12... had such great fun with the supporters and with the other pirates... pirate corner was so loud! I did try singing La Bamba to them a few times - getting in the mexico spirit - but I was drowned out by the cheering - top supporting from les jaunes.
really really hot - stopped at every single aid station to pick up lots of drinks and sponges. Had a few toilet stops... but they didn't really work - despite drinking over 14 litres during the race nothing was coming out... I did have a few stops to talk to the support crews - gave Oxy, DrM and Zilla some man hugs (I think this is where I lost much of the 14 litres - sorry!)... generally just kept running between aid stations, picking up pirate jogging companions whenever I could - I'd just work on catching the pirate, getting onto their shoulder and then asking them to plod with me until the next station. This worked well - except with Calf... after spending 10 seconds telling me he was too sick to run, he then showed me some 8m/m pace - top running from a sicko - great form!
Was gutting to catch up with flyaway and to find out her story - brave but daft (aka extremely piratey) that she was out there running despite the problems - top marks.
Lots of others should get a mention
- the Bassy&Hamster show which I had to catch twice (I caught them once, then stopped for a supporter natter, then had to catch them again),
- the great sideline support from so many people - it was lovely in a metaphorical way to "see Hope" every lap; then Mrses Gom and Symes were screaming so well; Melli, DrM, JJ, KnK, BtS, Candy, SpansZilla, IronMin, Dustboy, ... all shouting from THAT corner; Oxy actually ran in support at one point (the earth moved!); and the Foggy family were very encouraging too. (Am I allowed to admit I don't know who smiley lady is? There were far too many smiley people to chose between... sorry!)
- Doozer, Emmi and GOM - who all somehow got me into shouty naggy encouragement mode - sorry - I blame turbots!
- the really wide smiles from Symes, Vix, HollyG and Meldy (SaintSquish was also smiling but I won't mention her as I can't believe she so selfishly tripped up KK and dragged him off to a tent - what a selfish git she is!),
- the grumpy ATOM who wouldn't run with me, but did introduce me to pink lycra lady instead (yum! thx!),
- the really grumpy GOM and the "I feel sick" DadOfTwo (the conversation with him went something like - he said "I feel sick - really dehydrated" - so I said "OK - keep going - you know what you need to do" - so he said "no - what?" - and I couldn't remember so eventually improvised with a "have a drink"... top advice, eh?),
- a bloke called Tim in orange tri kit - hello!
- the lone tripetalker (Le Mitten) who peed and peed and peed so many times!
- the ever present shadows of Donald and LP - I was sure they were both catching me every lap,
- a real good show from Daniel - top sbr performance despite yet another summer sickness (hopefully next year you'll actually be healthy for race week!)
- the super strong CRAB and Monique - both eating up Prom Des Anglais - my heros!
- the people I only ever seemd to see in aid stations - Cougie, Nigel, Garr, Kanga, Kittenkat, Petal, TractorBoy (no chips on the course?!) - but I'm sure those aid stations got further apart every lap (and the hill between the first two aid stations got bigger!)
- Pebble - who looked soooooo strong during the first half of the run - and kept me so amused later on with his lie down ("it's half time!" he shouted)
- Swiss Bobby and Lindi - not a run comment - but a huge Thanks! again for sorting out the hotel for us!
- I'm sure there are plenty of others out there too - sorry for those not mentioned!
Somewhere in the third lap I started to feel a bit slow... but then Sheryl Crow returned If it makes you happy, then why are you sad? Good question... so I cheered up and got on with it. With the shade appearing for the first time, I reached the end of the third lap and knew the last 10km was blaggable. Actually managed a little more speed during the last 5km (but speed is a relative term). Coming up to pirate corner one last time I really intended to applaud them - but their applause beat mine - thx again you guys....
Then into the finish chute - lots of high fives, and a strong steady dash down the carpet
Crossed the line, grabbed the water, had a two minute sit down, then off to the athlete's hamlet (sure there was a village last year) before heading back off to party, party, party in the stands... really this is one of the best bits of the day - you get to go back and see so many people sprint for the line to fulfill a dream - its fab just before the end to see so many friends, family, and race winners all coming out to cheer, shout, horn (?!) and dance the last of the athletes home. And all that euro pop musik? Kwalitee!
So coming back to earth.... IMF had bad things:
- my own pre race pirating (first ever filling - oops!)
- there were a few things about the race setup that could have been better - no race briefing, the bike course didn't look swept to me (lots of punctures) and there were cars on the course, the post race hamlet a tad naff (no showers?), that dangerous stretch where runners and cyclists merged with lots of pedestrian crossing points, the bike aid stations not having any mechanical stuff.
- not managing to get Shiraz out to Nice with me
- I was slower than last year: in the swim, in T1, on the bike, in T2, on the run, overall.
- I paid 7 quid for a beer?! fk!
But... it also had lots of good things....
- the pirate support
- the pirate camarderie
- the medal and tee shirt
- surviving that puncture and the off road excursion
- all three sports were pretty strong performances
- without the puncture I might have made sub-12, but I probably wouldn't have enjoyed the race as much!
- there were many things the race got right - lots of drink and gels for me on the bike and run, the overall atmosphere, the pretty course (even the run wasn't too bad!), the volunteers were really really good (including so many helpers in the transition tent)
- I got my food and hydration really well mastered - amazed at how well it went - plus happy to have been able to cycle the next morning and I've been for a swim and a run this week
- I enjoyed the run lots this year - enjoyed the 4 lap format and enjoyed taking it on with the intention of enjoying it!
- the fact dustboy's working out how to join in the CH next year - go dustboy
- the pirate support
- the pirate camarderie
Yippee - pirateman ironman number 2 done & dusted - kckn - gotta love it - go pirates - see you in CH
OOps - I seem to have waffled
Better go do some work!
Hollywood - I didn't know about your very alarming puncture. Phew! Good work. You coiming to IMCH for a show down?
here we go.....it's boringly long!! Feel free to skip to the last line!
Pre race…. Well I could go back as far why the hell did I enter an Ironman but even I can’t actually remember now, think it was some sort of cohersion or even a ‘pay back’ deal?!
Not having a bike, a wetsuit, an ability to swim or even a job to pay for all this were the first few hurdles needing clearance. Never one to think particularly logically I thought I'd worry about that some other time.
I remember my first swim session last September and the sheer look of lets say panic but 'in an attempt not to really alarm me' kind of way on a certain persons face but he soon realised that I was actually not bothering to breathe for 20 strokes or so before gulping huge amounts of cloudy chlorinated water then choking and flailing about for a while, even the toddlers in the water wings looked unimpressed and promptly showed the inept how it should be done.
It took a while for the swimming thing to get cracked not that it actually has been as I was and still am pretty damn hopeless, swimming at least 3 times a week at 6.30 in the morning for over an hour and getting so fed up at the complete lack of any significant progress, training guides bought, videos watched, questions asked. OK so I’m still pretty crap but can at least now go the distance and not just 12 metres! In a pathetically vain attempt to gain tips and confidence I foolishly endured a chuffing freezing cold day in lake Ullswater, yes even paying, that's right, handing over cash for the priviledge although calf's random mid lake right turn and cougies crashing abilities made things seem a little less hopeless! An even colder evening was spent in what can only be described as a giant pit – this was quite a good thing to go to as I experienced the hyperventilating nightmare that can only be attributed to swimming in ridiculously cold water, not sure how it helped mind but at least I now know what it is!
Any running background I have is from fell running and I was out on the fells usually 3 times a week, although let me explain what fell running really is....think of being a kid and jumping in big muddy puddles and your mum chastising you cos your filthy...well it's like that but without the chastisment and you get a pint of bitter at the end instead of a smacked arse and a glass of milk! So, I'm no speed queen but can chug along happily in mud and bogs up hills and over dales.
As my youngest baby started school last September and me needing to fund a new and quickly discovered expensive hobby, felt it wise to get a job as failing that it would have been a divorce although I still don’t think that would have raised enough!! So, newly employed, training schedules altered somewhat. Trying to run a house, 3 children, a new job, a husband, 2 dogs, a mangy cat and fit in training was a fine juggling act.
Fell running took a back burner….especially after the purchase of a shiny PINK bike late October… The cycling commenced! On the whole we trained well, I say we as he who got me into this wasn't gonna sit on his backside and wait for my daily reports coming in so was dragged along to numerous events! We cycled as much as possible through winter on the road, going out in alsorts of shitty weather. I only came off the once - result - and thankfully that was uphill and not down!
A good base was built doing 5 and 6 hour adventure races all done on the mountain bike but all covering particularly hilly courses and a couple of little Ultra’s (ahem!) thrown in for good measure too!
Spring sprung and after ‘pinking’ up my ride and still struggling with the anti drowning sessions Sportif season commenced and these were duly attended and enjoyed. (I use the term enjoyed ‘loosley’ in respect of The Lakeland Loop and *shudders* Hardknott pass)
Every Sunday was spent either with Sportif’s, long Adventure races or long bike rides and the rest of the training was worked around the family. I was managing to train twice a day where I could using the turbo for a lot of it given other commitments. It was difficult I won't deny that and for anyone thinking they can wing it on a few hours training a week then good luck to you, I know for a fact I would have liked to have been able to do more and that yes it IS possible to fit it all in but sacrifices are made...usually in the way of sleep! I have to say for partners of IM trainees it can be a bit of a pain when the aferleet wants to get to bed at 9 as is permenantly tired so I' say schedule in some rest and quality time as it plays havoc! On the whole though I look back and think training went well, I certainly wasn’t under trained although perhaps for next time (Eh? WHAT?!) I’ll put a bit more emphasis on the running alas this suffered due to an ankle injury 18 months ago and the inability to ‘run’ on anything other than tarmac or perfectly flat roads but this then sets the horribly agonising shin splints off again! A case of the lesser of the 2 evils, but I'm not going to dwell on that, that's just something I need to address for myself and the concentration on this occasion was getting cycle fit as it was something I hanever done. I have little regret in terms of training but now following a good cycling base can once again concentrate more on the running injuries permitting.
Then............. the triathlon season started! A complete traithlon virgin..... what a first season and it isn't even over.....yet!
The first one I did was an odd distance sort of Oly including an off road run, the first mile of the run going straight up. The bike route was hilly but I was quite prepared for this as cycled the route several times on training rides it being local an all – extremely handy!
I swam, I cycled, I ran – it HEAVED it down, it blew a gale but it was all much needed experience in respect of transitions, set up, organisation etc and the newly acquired sports bottle has been handy!
The next was a Sprint – loved it. Well sort of, in the sense it was over quickly and I quite liked the fact I could get up and walk so soon afterwards!
Next stop Bala.
The first official Pirate outing for me and with the shin splints being particularly bad in the lead up to it had already decided the IM wasn’t going to be jeopardised by me being stubborn and running when I shouldn’t really. The plan was to conquer the fear of open water swimming, tootle on the bike and shuffle if I felt like it.
Melli gave me a good tip for easing the nerves on the swim on the Saturdays practice and something I adopted from there on in, it was also the first experience of the true spirit of the Pirate support which was indeed 'orsum'
Plan achieved.
On to France.
Well.......after recieveing startled looks from everyone thinking I was taking a dead body on the plane in a HUGE black box we landed in Nice after having a pretty uneventful trip. Getting the boxes and cases onto the bus and asking for tickets in my school girl poor standard french was a task in itself mind so felt fairly vindicated in heading straight to the hotel bar after check in to ease the high levels of stress this had brought on! One or 2 or 3, then maybe 4 or so pints later things became quite blurry Monique made a new friend and Dave the cat bovverer - in brackets whisperer got his new name!
Thursday was a right off...........Hangover from hell! I attempted to practice a sea swim but felt the bumpy sea was playing havoc with the somewhat already icky stomach!
Friday - much fresher...(ahem), headed down to the beach for a practice at 8am wetsuit under arm. I have a phobia of the sea so was pretty much dreading this as much as the IM itself. Braved the pebbles on the shore and launched headfirst into the I have to admit pretty calm waters. All was going reasonably well until I spotted a jellyfish. Doing the classic Jaws style 'under water scream' promptly swallowed half of the cote d'azur. Came up for air coughing and spluttering and attempted to swim back to shore as fast as possible. Not to be detered had a 5 minute recovery then decided to go back and try again. Pretty pleased I'd seen the thing to be honest as think if I'd seen it race day (which I indeed did - although it probably wasn't the same one!) the startled reaction might have had a somewhat adverse effect on those swimming around me at the time!
The afternoon was spent building the bikes then heading off out to test them. I'm glad I wasn't wearing a HR monitor as it was through the roof when Bassy and Calf decided to lead our little intrepid group up the slip road of the motorway!! Deciding on the 'safe' option to head for less congested traffic we needed to escape the outskirts of Nice which was like dodging exercet missiles as we made our way down to the beach where they have a lovely little purpose made cycle path!
Holly had a tiff with her bike that clearly wasn't playing ball as it went on a loud protest omitting lots of strange noises and with Bassy's super hero cloak almost catching us unaware he whooshed to her rescue...this left calf, dustboy and myself to amble casually up the promenade. Bumping into Dave the cat bovverer along the way who informed us the course was all very do-able and lovely following his jaunt around most of it wasn't really making me feel any easier given he was saying the heat had affected his gears wherby he rapidly hopped off and started twiddling bits on his bike I usually just polish! hmmm, something else to fret about for Sunday. With the pasta party only hours away Dave went to wash his hair and make sure he scrubbed up to Mon's standards and we again carried on a bit further. It became quite clear we weren't going to be hitting anything remotely scenic and to avoid further inhalation of carbon dioxide we did an about turn. This is when Calf thought he'd be clever and try doing a few aero, yes aero not acro...batics on the bike. Quite impressive, reckon I'd give the triple salca with twist an 8 out 10, he could have tried a bit harder if you ask me! The look of the weekend had to be dustboys face as he couldn't quite understand as I scuttled past the injured patient in favour of rescuing the bike - well, have you any idea the mood he'd have been in if that bike got scratched?? Miraculously and it does beggar belief the painwork was unscathed, couldn't say the same for Calfs back, arms, hip, knee etc. So with a chain snapped it was a long walk back, not great in cleats and heat but off we went. Dustboy took the scenic route via Monaco to go and get some trainers to aid the walk back but every credit he came back as he said he would so we could walk a wee bit faster than the current pace....all good training for race day so it would pan out!
Pre race day....saturday. Pretty much spent flapping, faffing, panicing, eating, flapping, drinking, panicking some more, moaning, stressing, more eating then packing and racking. Early to bed, early to rise.
Race Day
I awoke with the sweet sound of the dawn chorus.....not quite, more the racket from the warm air unit cunningly disguising itself as airconditioning, the beeping of horns in the street below and the rattling of the window as the trains came into the station. To be fair a flea's fart would have woken me as sleep was on the agenda but the sandman must have fallen out with me?
Breakfast was a mellee of pirates and supporters and a few other non piratey competitors all offering the next first dibs at the coissants, rubber cheese and plastic ham. I noticed CRAB had wisely packed his own breakfast and I almost snatched his arm off for the little bag of blighty he brought with him. After forcing a chocolate coissant, a banana (as if we weren't going to get enough of those throughout the day) a glass of orange and some non kellogs cornflakes down my gullet it was time to head off. It was quite eery walking the streets of Nice at 4.30 in the morning, although bustling locals went about their business or indeed were just returning home our party was walking as if to the gallows. Nerves were definatley showing and we all have our different ways of coping and it seemed the system of walking slowly and saying little was working!
Down at official IM HQ 'real' triathletes were bike faffing, I was spinning in circles wondering what the hell to do next to occupy half an hour, vaguely remember getting in most peoples way as they bike faffed more, so, being ever helpful went to any fellow lady pirate in my near vicinity to offer good luck wishes as they indeed bike faffed.
Body glide applied and wet suit half on the tannoy announced only 3 minutes until the bike area closed....what?? You mean we get locked in in 3 minutes? Immediate hyper flap set in as the waddle to the the exit suddenly sped up. Being a girl our bikes were furthest away from the transition area but very helpfully right by the exit onto the bike course but it did mean a long walk to the beach start. Trying to cram over 2000 people onto a section of beach in little pens was like something of a cattle market.....I immediately opted for the far left hand 'pen' for the slowest of the slow swimmers....my normal method of anti goggle mist on goggles followed by a quick rinse and a face wet were hindered by the fact I couldn't get anywhere near the front and certainly didn't want to reach the shoreline just as the hooter went only to be ploughed over. A risk I was going to have to take. My rubbish french was called upon again as a fellow athlete was asking me the swim course...my point and ugg system wasn't going to well and was now even more confused than ever as noone seemed to know the order of the bouys or booeys as of friends from across the pond like to refer them.
Moments later and swim cap only just on and goggles still in hand there was the sound of the hooter and the crowd cheering.....well this was it....at least 14 hours and at most 16 hours to go, just needed to get this blessed swim out of the way. I was trying to be brave and act cool over the pebbles but looked more like a lizard in the desert on the hot sand, the Derren Brown technique of mind over matter clearly not working as I sploshed in the water like an over fed walrus.
The swim wasn't easy, it was with expectation it wouldn't be pleasant but not the anticipation it would be quite so stressful for quite so long. So much for the sea's a big place you'll have loads of room. The goggles filled up with sea water after getting kicked in the face from the outset. Although trying mid thrash to fix them gave up and hoped the salt water may give me the sparkly blue eyes I once had many moons ago. A fellow competitor swam along side me for a while until I thought about that and realised we were swimming at the same pace so I pulled back a bit and hitched on the back for a ride. The fare was going quite well until some bloke swam over me, into me, then back over me to nick my taxi, can you imagine if someone had done that in Oxford street, pah, I don't think so. Figured he could be my new ride as he was so insistent on swimming in front of me but he swam in a zig zag twice as badly as I did so I felt it only safe to let him go on his merry way! The booeys were impossible to sight off so I decided to jellyfish spot instead. Saw quite a few and a huge one to boot then remembered what exactly I was there to do so bobbed back up to discover the masses were almost now at the second bouy. The swim for me was more of an endurance element in that it was just something I was going to have to get on with and put up with, I'm not good at it but it's there to be done so set a target of 2 hours 1.45 I'd be happy with so was blooming ecstatic to get out in 1.31. The extra time spent really making sure the wet suit was on properly and drafting where possible left me feeling overall, pretty okay. I exited the swim the same time as Squishy to a big piratey cheer and both of us toddled up the ramp to T1.
Bag located I remembered reading Bryan the Snails Florida report and adopted the same method, have a rummage in the bag and methodically work through what was in there after first de-wet suiting and letting some nice young man rub some lotion all over me. The contents of the bag were investigated....talc, towel...ok so dry feet then let off the now mandatory talc bomb over all nearby, socks, shoes, race belt, gloves, inhaler,oooo look some tablets I'll be having those thankyou very much....chewing gum carefully packed in bike shoe, gel took that too, sunglasses and oh yes, helmet. All donned it was time for the duck style shuffle to the bike...out of the tent into the bright sunshine, oh, where are all the bikes?.....after quickly realising there hadn't been a grand theft cycle I made my way to where there once were quite a few bikes racked up....oh well, my thoery of a bright pink bike aiding location in transition was shot straight out of the window!
Exiting the bike park to the the mount line getting in the way of an official telling someone off for mounting too early, not wanting to make the same mistake I over shot the mount line consierably and in the most unlady like manner threw my leg over my bike, again to raptouous cheery pirate support and began the next stage of the race.
So this was it, the bike leg, my favorite bit. Having little cycling experience and only triathlon experience as stated above the last thing I wanted to do was blow up or 'bonk' on the bike. I had a vague nutrition plan and that was just to drink lots and lots and eat regulary. The pootle began, I spent most of the first few km singing to myself, looking round and getting the hand of cycling on the wrong side of the road. It was a suprise as to how hot it was already at only 9 in the morning which was a bit of a worry but something to worry about later. I caught up with kanga I think who had been doing some last minute bike set up...I mean why bother pre race! The first climb was ok really I quite like the short steep ones and had pretty much been forced to ride hills all winter against my wishes but yes ok ok, you were right Calf...it helped! Seeing the names on the road was brilliant though it really made me smile and kept the legs peddaling to the top. I saw Holly who was sensibly sorting her heart rate out something I think I should perhaps take on boars and train to myself, a quick chat and off again. I rode a while with Jayson from tri wrexham who turned out to me Mins friend....small world! He had his plan cellotaped to his bars as did I which made me feel a bit better! He got ahead a bit further on as I wrestled with a power gel that had been cellotaped with industrial stick cellotape....why can't you get hold of that stuff at Christmas when you need it?? After wibbling and wobbling finally managed to yank it off the top tube and took it as the next aid station approached. it was so so hot I drank gallons of water and coke and forced myself to eat regularly and was doing well until the ruddy sponge from the profile bottle bounced out promptly spilling the contents all over me every time a mere crack appeared in the road. Now while the water was welcome relief on burning flersh this did mean i was getting through the water a hell of a lot quicker than I could refill!
I quite liked the long grinding hills and managed to pass a few blinged up bikes on the way up......one bloke did get the fright of his life as he was on his carbon compact out of the saddle puffing away and I pootle past sitting up eating a power bar on a pink bike smiling 'helllooo' if looks could kill! The decents were 'orsum' too I whizzing down and pretended the barriers were big cushions and that no there wasn't a huge drop of a cliff at all! I lost my multi tool from the back of the bike on one hill as much as it miffed me, it wasn't wise to go back for it. So the course went on. The turn around bit was the best bit not only to see all the other pirates in front going the other way but for the mexican wave from the pirate support crew and Mins "nice shooooos" comment made me smile for km's after!
I caught up with Debbo and Vix just afer 75miles Debbo and I had both hit a low spot I think it's safe to say at this point. Debs was suffering with cramp and wasn't interested in my drug pushing as had a supply of her own. It's tough mentally thinking you're knackered you're 75 miles in and there's STILL another 30 plus to do. it had better be downhill right....got to be free speed now?? It pretty much was the last climb after the turnaround was pretty much it. It was down on the drops and wheeeeeeeee for quite a way, really enjoyed that bit and managed to overtake a few pambies and an x5! Kewl!
The drag into T2 along the prom felt a hell of a lot longer than when setting off on the bike and I could see all the runners and just exactly how far down the Prm de anglais the run really went....gulp!
Into T2 after a long walk to hand the bike over I grabbed my bag and went to sit in a wee filled chair.....later discovering it was more than likely Moniques so at least it was a pirates wee and not le frogs! T2 wasn't a rushed affair kk and I got there the same time and we had a chat with another 2 English lady competitors who did Lanza last year and reassuringly (?) informed us that the Nice bike course was harder!! Shoes on, sun lotioned up, drink, gel, tablets, hat it was time to shuffle off........Running out of the tent and onto the course straight into the pirate massive was brilliant....lots of cheers and support, claps, snaps and general crowd disturbance...brilliant!
I ran to the first aid station where it quickly became apparent I was in a whole heap of trouble, I felt so sick, was dizzy, everything was blurry I was super hot but couldn't understand that I could possibly be dehydrated...I really had drunk gallons on the bike. I tried to drink flat coke, had a warm mushy banana soaked myself under the hose pipe and shuffled off. The first 5km was a mixture of shuffle walk shuffle walk then....well as they say in the trade 'my head went' I was convinced I couldn't do it. I've never done so much bloody mental arithmetic since, or even AT school! I was constantly calculating how long it would take if I got the next checkpoint by such and such I needed to be at here by x. The first lap is you on your way really, waving at the crowd, high fiving people, chatting, thanking the million and one locals for the 'courage, allez, allez' comments.....the 2nd lap...well you know you're nearly half way, the 3rd....wtf?? It's AWFUL....you're neither here nor bloody there! It was almost at the start of the 3rd lap I lost it completely....total breakdown....I looked for Melli in the crowd and thought I was beaten. Just didn't have the will to go on, the sickness was over whelming the heat intolerable and the need to just lie down somewhere cool was overpowering. Melli was great as were all the pirates there at the time FB I remember saying something, Dr. Mike, Jj, Hope etc thankyou all but especially Melli who told me I could do it and I was doing it. She flip flopped with me on the opposite side of the street to the next aid station shouting encouragement but the lump in my thraot was too huge to answer back and the tears were burning the already significantly burnt face. I pretty much went onto auto pilot after that and marched the rest of the way, I tried to smile....honest...even to Bassy! I was in a different world though and was just wanting to get the job done, Hollywood shouted encouragement everytime I saw him which was met with a wave until I'd had enough and shouted something back.....SO sorry Holly although you were right it DID help I DID need it and it DID make me shuffle off a bit quicker when I could so Thanks. Garr spotted me and was met with a awful glare too...sorry Garr in fact to anyone who got a horrible glare I feel really bad for being such a grumpy cow! I feel even worse for not realising KK was in such a bad way I saw him at the end of his first 5km I think and offered him some gels or drugs (common theme there!) but he said he felt sick...we shared our who feels more sick than the other comments and he sent me on my way I feel terrible for not staying with him longer and to Flyaway too.
Onward I marched, it WAS great to see all the pirates on the course contrary to my miserable face and every single cheer, comment, smile, nod, wave, look was encouragement indeed...I know for a fact if I'd been there on my own I wouldn't have finished...I also know I've never been so bloomin happy to see a black hairband in my life!! Once that thing was on the wrist it was like some sort of Lord of the Rings Frodo moment....only 11km to go!! I tagged on to 2 french men who were walking at the same pace who were asking me about IMUK, my reply involved il Pleu!! I caught up with a Scottich guy who was limping badly and walked a little way with him then got going again....the last km I bumped into Cougie already wearing his bling and looking at the watch reassured me I'd make the last km given there was still plenty of time. Funny really the tricks the brain plays, a km away, an hour to do it but the fact that it could still all go wrong? Pirate corner was fast appraoching and it was great to see everyone knowing it was nearly all over. Mr. Scotland came storming past me and tapped me on the back...so much for his boody limp....I shouted back some obscenity and chased after him in hot pursuit, in reality it must have looked like 2 tortoises on a sprint challenge!
Down into the finishing tunnel the compare saw me and said 'pirate lady' pointed to his right and continued 'LOOK' I looked left and there they were! The Massive.....what a fantastic welcome, it made my day....high fived as many as I could without burtsing into tears and making more of a fool of myself! Turned to the finish line,.....SWINES....what kind of sadists put that bloody great hill there to climb (?!) and a newly born Ironman cosses the line.
I have so many people to thank both on and off line but to all the fellow pirates it was an honour and priviledge to be part of something I will never forget. Hats off to you all.
Emmi (not so grumpy anymore) Lou xx