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IM France Race Reports
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"I'm impressed at people training today... I managed a little sewing!"
For a minute I read that as swinging!
OK I'll try that again in English...
Are you at the London social this week as well as next week?
Im afraid not, I cant make it this weekend either im afraid.
Is anyone going this Friday?
Not for me though thanks ; - )
Great report, love the idea of a pirate actually having rank and giving orders!!! (except FB, I would be scared to do anything against his orders!)
My mum often wonders if it is safe to go on holidays with a bunch of people off the internet. Zuppy keeps threatening to tell her that's where I met him (thanks to cartman!)
IMS fab report - I saw that race advertised a few months back and wondered who on earth would be mad enough to take it on! Well done
Great reports from IMF guys - really enjoying the read (instead of working)
Race Report
Build up unusually tranquil as I didnt spend a night with Barley or Candy or wandering the red light district of Frankfurt as in previous years when Slummo booked accomodation! Record set for most expensive pre race Guiness at 9 yo yos for a half! Lit candles in church to bring Pirates safe home on Sat night. Only slight tension caused by my fashion faux pas of Oireland top and Pirate Shorts.
Race morning wandered into pen and was suddenly very nervous struggled to remember words to hail mary then the gun went, boing bounce a boom a slush goggles filled with stingy seawater sun in eyes and no rythym glueerugh. Decided swimming with eyes shut a good idea untl kerblammo my right arm makes contact with hull and canoeist panics as I nearly capsize him , truly carp and annoyed with self leave swim in 1.23 , Paul tells me Lindi is 2 mins behind so get a wriggle on in T1.
Think I have done a fast T1 atchly 6 mins and hear Lindi announced by race director as she has overtaken me in transition, must be cheating shurely. Eyes and neck sting but feel quite OK until I start eating almonds that I dropped at bike mount that Nick kindly handed to me as he passed , I was to wreak my rewenge later.
I'm in enjoying some german beer in rural Germany now. Getting some good sleep and feeling much better. I wached the Germany vs Turkey football match with a bunch of insane Germans last night so that was great fun. I've managed some walking but nothing that would count as training.
Bike was orsum brilliant to see names on the first climb saw a good few piratas and climbed on the drops like Pantani well a fat slow Pantani anyhoo. Caught Debbo as per raceplan then 5k later she caught me lost her on the bastardi de lecre. Reading other reports now feel guilty that at most aid stations used water to hose myself and had two bottles of ISO , having done AUT and DE confused to discover not all IM bilke rides condeucted in German got odd looks for Danke a few times!
Scandalously warned for drafting Kimberley who was a small girl with a woodpecker who was later to finish over an hour after me.
Benson and I got miserable about not making 7 hours , I perked up when I saw the posse at the turn point and got to do loads of garring at Crash Bassy and the other crap swimmers then came the descents whoosh zoom got bike marshall to move out the way and down to Cours like as Francois said a madman , noticed when I packed the bike that I had worn away the chicken strips !
Blat back into town for last 25k into big wind ......dull and wanted it over wearisome cycling along the run course too but home in 7 08 so ok bout 10 off the plan , chat and sun lotion and away from t2
For Eccentric (in 3 languages). Who said a convent education was wasted on me!!!
Hail Mary,Full of Grace,The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death. Amen.
Sé do bheatha, a Mhuire,
atá lán de ghrásta,
Tá an Tiarna leat.
Is beannaithe thú idir mná,
Agus is beannaithe toradh do bhroinne, Íosa.
A Naomh-Mhuire, a Mháthair Dé,
guigh orainn na peacaigh,
anois, agus ar uair ár mbáis. Amen.
Je vous salue, Marie, pleine de grâce.
Le Seigneur est avec vous.
Vous êtes bénie entre toutes les femmes,
et Jésus, le fruit de vos entrailles, est béni.
Sainte Marie, Mère de Dieu,
Priez pour nous, pauvres pécheurs,
maintenant et à l'heure de notre mort.
Amen
lol, i remember my mother being very upset i was doing an IM based on advice from people i'd never met.
Run (ha a major misnomer)
Legs weak stomach and feet much worse , lap 1 caught by bionic Lindi on her second lap , we walked a bit together which was nice but I knew I was going to be too slow to run with her, so let her go the very familiar sight of her bum dissapearing from view was not as familair and reassuring as I had hoped. At the next aid station the disturbance in my stomach had escalated into a full blown civil disorder which turned into a riot as I entered the bog. The stench meant that I evaucauted perfunctorily from both ends simaltaneously. I wondered whether my gizzards might implode but realised DNF was a real prospect if I did not make a hasty exit from the cubicle of doom.
Felt slightly better and geniunely bouyed by the Pirate Posse jogged past to avoid the shame and them smelling me , regrettably swore loudly at Brian as I started to walk out of sight of main body of support (sorry mate was a bit poorly ). Got to top of second lap and thought I would take the staines oot of me shoes but discovered the only thing in my runners was my feet and how horrid they were.
Race goals now dissapearing faster than an eight euro beer at the pirate after party , never mind crack on and soon I would be a three time Ironman tried to forgot my own shortcomings and try and cheer up other pirates chatted to many failed to penetrate Emmilous fearsome race face but was rewarded with passing snog from one fast lady pirate. Saw the Bassy Crashie train but failed to catch it , resolved to grind out last couple o laps at 8kmh walking.
On the last lap Lindi had come out after a massage , tea , getting naked a while in the athletes garden and she whizzed me up the chute past Nick and his kids (sorry m8) crossin the line with the roaring from the massed ranks of the black and yella army is a priceless memory and shutting ones eyes recalls the elation, emotion and warmth of the moment but happily none of the pain.
Racing with you guys is a rare and special priveledge and being supported by the sherpas is indeed an honour. Proud to be a pirate see as many of you as I can at IMCH Luv Centric x
Photos are up on marathon-photos.com
Debbo, I feel I must apologise for being in the back of all your finishing photos. Sorry love.
Holly - I don't mind - I should have waited for you anway!
I hadn't realised how ill you were either... wouldn't have come near you if I'd realised you were covered in vomit!
I'm gawjus....
http://www1.global-pix.com/cgi-bin/masterpage?function=framebody§ion=photos&job=Sports%2FGKDE%2F2008+Sports%2FIronman+France&lang=eng&match=1063
... but too busy laughing at other people's reports to write my own
i like the one with the mdot coming out of your head. i'd air brush that water bottle out in favour of a pint of beer though.
*whispers*... the beer was alcohol frei!