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IM France Race Reports
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Bassy, I think you've done a lot to improve the photos of the camp hamster. Style god he's not!
heeheeheee. again. ¦oD
Bassy, my mum seems to know all your names. I'm wondering if perhaps I talk about you too much...
What're you suggesting, eccentric??? <minces off in a huff!>
I assume the reports will be stored for future inspirational reading on the pirate website?
Anyone notice Swiss Bobby hasn't posetd the next part of his report!!
Come on bruv!!!!
(hope this proves that i do exist on here)
Crickey, these reports are great, although I haven't got through 'em all yet. I feel like I’m reliving the agony and the ecstacy of you all.
As ever, massive well done to everyone who was out there, including the supporters. It was a long, hard, hot day for everyone and I’m gutted for the DNFers, but pretty sure you'll come through it stronger. Better to try and fail than never to try at all. Or something like that.
Couldn't decide whether or not I was relieved to be suporting or jealous of the Ironmanners, but I reckon the option to nip off for beer and ice cream is way more comfy.
Flyaway : No, it has always been LP, but loads of people missread it as either ip or 1p.- When I decided what "iron" name I wanted to use, I decided to take the "i" instead for a while.
you'll have to dye your hair gold though
Sluggie, it takes you places you really dont want to go mentally, but if you can get out the other side the rewards in terms of achievment are well worth it. Thats where the pirate support comes in, you dont want to fail them, and they dont want you to fail. The value of knowing you will see 50 people cheering you on in the next mile is huge.
JFDI
Truly inspirational..but not enough for me to sign up to IMCH.
I would have to choose continued marriage or IM and divorce !
Now, where is it I sign up?
TW
It had all been going so well, as the captain of the Titanic once said, until March, when my GP discovered that my thyroid was more or less nailed to its perch. Training and working were replaced by sleeping and ...er...that was about it, to be honest. I managed to do enough of each to maintain what fitness I had, but nothing to give improvements. You can probably work out the ending from here (I finished, but it wasn't pretty) so if you want to skip the name-checks and self-indulgent whining and go straight to the thanks, that's fine
My thyroxine levels are still being adjusted (this translates as 'they're still so low that all I want to do is sleep') which means that finishing an Ironman wasn't looking too likely...so I hit upon the cunning plan of taking double my current recommended dose for a few days before the event. Apparently, this may turn out to be 'a bit risky' but the chance of death was probably smaller than negotiating hairpin bends at 30+mph on a pushbike, so I gave it a lash.
My bike arrived in Nice a day after me, courtesy of my parents, who maintained their 100% record of never getting it quite right by magically maladjusting the front derailleur on the drive over. It took me two days of stress, 5 funnymoneys to a random bloke at the expo and the ministrations of Bassy to get the damn thing approximately right. Of course, Bassy being the Shimano-ponce that he is, didn't realisse that SRAM didn't always make that funny grinding noise, so I was on the promenade for some fine tuning when Swiss Bobby rocked up, announced that the cable was too tight, made arcane signs over the mech as I slackened the cable and lo and behold! it was right first time. Truely a bike whisperer, indeed. Thanks to both my Pirate mechanics!
So race morning dawned, along with the funky gibbon, and it was off to transition for traditional yarrrghing, faffing and wibbling. I was enjoying this...
It was a proper walk down to the swim start, with crowds of supporters on both sides. A goodbye snog for Squish, then into the sub 1:10 pen and a few quiet moments to ponder the wisdom of leaving my anti-fog spray in England.
Hooter, fireworks, jetskis, go. The swim was the roughest I've been in; I was kicked, grabbed, punched and had my goggles unseated a couple of times, but I love that sort of stuff, so gave as good as I got. I had no idea how it was going as my watch got stopped in the melee. Under the gantry in 1:09:45 and an official split of 1:09 dead, or 'just in front of CRAB' as it's also known. As you were, mate... Now if only my biking and running were of a similar standard ;o)
My bike plan was simple: take on only liquids until I got to the downhill bits and keep my HR in the aerobic zones. Hmmm. Hit 181 up the first sharp hill, but was too distracted by the Pirate markings on the roads to care. Orsum indeed, thanks guys! Climbed at 170 or less for the rest of the uphills; not exactly comfortable, but it got me there. Was passed by G-Dog, Petal, GOM, Pebble, Monique and DoT (and possibly more); I passed Foggy, who then passed me back. On the first downhill, I got back past DoT, who climbs like a gazelle, but descends like a big girl's blouse ;o)...but fat lads don't climb, so he was soon back ahead and long gone.
After approximately forever (and having to scrounge drinks from a couple of other riders due to an aid station coq-up...thank you!) I reached the top at Gourdon; nice views and even better, nice downhills! Now it was time to go Jessie-hunting, so I overtook a fair few on the way back down. For all their Tour de France and general Gallic bike poncedom, a lot of these Continentals descend worse than Mr Wubya, though without the squealing
I only got one hairpin badly wrong, had a bit of a trouser failure and almost straight-onned over one of those ludicrously low walls that launch you off over the precipice. Both wheels locked on the marbles and it was looking like Squish may be prematurely widowed, but then normal traction was restored and I missed it by er, not a lot...
Long ride back into the wind, along the prom and into T2 where I stylishly fell over and had to be caught by the helpers, as it were...
Bassy was sitting with his feet up when I got there, Eccentric was reading the paper and we were joined by Matthew for a bit of a 'drink cold water' party.
Out onto the run course, where mostly Bassy and I formed the Nice-Aeroport Pirate Express; we yarrghed at fellow Pirates and 'Who are ya?'ed at Pirate supporters, moaned about blisters and gut pain and mostly...walked. Calf joined us just as we were about to start sprinting *cough* and he had gut pain, so we...walked.
Congratulations to all the finishers on a hot and hard day; much respect to the new Ironmen, you made an ageing Pirate very proud
Thanks to the mighty Bassy for his company and convenient gut pains; the wonderful Pirate supporters for all their help and encouragement; my darling Squish , aka St Squishy of Nice, for nursing a sickly hamster for the last few months. Switzerland next year
Sadly wuk has got in the way of my race report, so I asked flyaway to write it for me - she types faster than she cycles.
"The beach was very pebbley. My poor feet hurt a lot. I've spent the last year sandbagging my swimming to flyaway, and although she was no longer fully taken in by my duplicity, she had no idea I'd packed my turbo booster and am suddenly actually a very good swimmer. Red isnt really my color, so I avoided putting on my swim hat and goggles for as long as possible - in reality this wasnt until the gun went off. Then we did the gay little hobble down to the start, and swam 3.8km with no real problems at all.
Faffed enormously in T1 as is my wont because however good a swimmer i am, getting myself organised to get on the bike is definitely not my strong point. Climbing is, however, so the bike went well. Hills, hills, hills......yadda yadda yadda....
Having oodles of time left, I decided to expend as much energy as possible by mincing the run, in the hope of securing the coverted "Campest Runner" prize. Was enormously successful at this, if not quite as successful at matching my stunning FLM time, possibly partly due to some bedraggled girl sobbing uncontrollably on my shoulder after I'd done two laps. Finished in about 13:27, not bad for a day's work, but must try harder next time."
Cheers flyaway !
*wipes tears from face and tries to compose self*
Fabulous!!