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Dear People who don't live in my city
I'm not interested in how you think my city should be run.
What buildings should be saved. Or what my council tax should be spent on
I'm not interested that you lived there 30 years ago and things were different then.
Your opinion does no longer matter and unless you move back and pay council tax it will continue not to matter.
Life is amazing, I can't think of a single thing to moan about, I feel a bit of pity for all you negative people
(Mind you if somebody tried to talk to me about their cat I would happily turn my back and ignore them... maybe being a bit arrogant is good for your mental state overall!)
I feel your pain.
This is why I wear mirror shades when running.
Dear art gallery people.Art is in the eye of the beholder.Modern art is subjective
I dont the read the Observer or the Guardian so I'm not up to speed with the latest fashions in the art world
So how about helping me out and explain what the F**k it is I'm looking at
Its a tank with a dead shark in it. My first thoughts were "wow .........erm?"
Its a cow cut in half, my first thoughts "its very pink"
it obviously meant some post-neo-modernist statement on summat or t'other but guess what no-one was available to explain to me
you just presume I know is this the emperor's new clothes thing going on? I mean a Henry Moore sculptor is big and imposing but does it mean anything? Really? a big lump of bronze with 2 holes in it what does it mean?
"oooh its marvellous an empty room with the lights going on and off obviously a comment on the Post Thatcherite years and trauma of the poll tax riots"
Now go in the National gallery theres a painting by bloke who cut his ear off, yet it looks like a vase of Sunflowers, good, I can relate to that, it doesnt need explaining.
So Dear Artiste If your going to do something that I random bloke in street cant understand by looking at it please put a note on it explaining.
back to the original topic...
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
LJB1 - tell them about your imaginary haemorrhoids and ask them if they can recommend a cream because you find THEM a pain in the arse too!
LMAO - or maybe the haemorrhoids
Candy/Muttley - class interaction there
Dear gnats, fleas, mosquitoes and other bitey insect denizens.
WHY DO YOU F*CKING EXIST AT ALL!
My f*cking body is covered with big f*cking lumps from an innocent day's sunbathing on the one f*cking day the sun came out in this pissing washout of an august.
WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Eat shit like your mates the flies, but leave my arms, legs and head the f*ck alone. Or go down maccy d's and get a mcflurry...
IN FACT, GO FURTHER THAN THAT AND DO US ALL A FAVOUR BY GOING EXTINCT YOU F*CKING F*CKERS!
insects are people too!
in fact they are better than some. eg scousers and brummies and that
In need of help
Due to put my bins out tonight and can't remember which bin the neighbours cat goes in is it red or blue???
I sometimes get the urge to say to people (but don't):
' You are not half as important as you think you are.'
Don't tell me what to do, just get on with it yourself'
'Don't just hold that cigarette letting the smoke choke me, stuff it in your face'
'Get out of my way. If I was walking, you would let me pass!'
(Thanks!! I needed that)
No you don't work for Sky so stop trying to sell me dodgy insurance and feck off and stop ringing
Oh no wait I did say that
OK I signed up for my 2nd ever marathon queue usual comment re the "bug" - No I haven't got a bug, I'm not diseased just trying to stay healthy so stop pretending like you're sorry for me and feck off you condescending git
Dear person who just called me in the middle of something...
No I won't confirm my date of birth and first line of my address. You rang ME. I didn't ask to speak to you and now you're saying you can't talk to me further about what you called about.
Good. So sod off and don't call again. Put it in the mail.
some good 'uns here.
personally I struggle with finding something I wish I could say etc because I always say what I think or feel (however daft). I find phoney politeness irritating and cannot see the need.