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Paris Losers
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Expecting a hefty gain this week. Unfortunately I turn to food whenever faced with stress and this week has had quite a bit of work and injury stress and I've binged every day. On Friday I went to the supermarket, bought 2 'family' bags of Revels and ate them both in about 15 minutes. Didn't enjoy them but its difficult to explain - feel a bit like I'm on autopilot and just have to finish them. that's not right so I've made an appointment with a counsellor type person who has experience of eating disorders. If I don't post after Tuesday I've been commited.
I'm not sure I know exactly how you feel Rob, we are all so different, but this is exactly how i eat. Not really out of stress for me but boredom. I think your comment about autopilot is very interesting - I have hear it called 'not being present' or 'not mindful eating'. Sort of zoning out. I just wanted to post that I understand completely what you mean and say you are not in any way on your own. I look forward to hearing any insights you discover along your journey.
wow, rob...that's one hell of a sugar load!!! I've done the same but with savoury stuff, big bags of crisps and HUGE feeds of fish & chips. Know that I'm full about half way through but keep going for some reason. Will be interesting to hear (if you feel like retelling) what the counsellor type person says. What about a replacement fix of humus and veggies...or will that just NOT do?
I've had an okay week and got out for a huge 3hr + ride today so thinking there will be a slide down when I weight-in on tuesday.
Thanks both.
No Sal it has to be carbs. Bread, biscuits, ice cream, chocolates and sometimes crisps. Also done it with Mcdonalds - on a long drive back from the south coast I stopped 3 times at services and got a Mcdonalds meal. I'm also secretive about it. Like if i'm on my own away with work or if the family have gone away for a weekend or even during a weekday if working from home. If openly going to the shops to get a load of sweets and chocolate I'll get a couple of chocolate bars and eat them in the car coming home. I might not really be hungry to begin with - its often been after eating a decent enough, or even large, meal - but just can't stop.
In between I'll eat healthilly and normally. No cravings, stop when I'm full etc. Seems its boredom and/or stress that kick it off. Makes losing weight hard as doing well for 5 days then eating your bodyweight in chocolate for 2 days probably cancel each other out.
DLR - I'm afraid your not alone and I know where your at. Its like a total course of self destruction but when I was there it was when I felt like I had failed, shouted at the kids, been a bad mother........I had the need to punish myself for whatever misdeed I believed I had done or was responsible for so ate everything in sight that contained anything I was allergic/intolerant to in it. As with yourself I couldn't stop - I would eat a 2ltr tubs of ice cream although I am dairy intolerant, bag and bags of sweets, chocolate digestives, cakes - I would literally eat until I was sick ..........And then I went the totally opposite way and started starving myself.......... Can I come to the counsellor too???
I
I have not lost an ounce...but haven't put on anything, either. I'm not running that much, because of work, these days so I live in hope of a...er....dramatic loss...sometime...I will have to up my exercise output for any effect. 'Suspect that my body knows all my schemes and is hanging on to everything. *Actually, I think I'm just not interested in experiencing anything that smells like hunger.*My diet's good and, for me, this is what good weighs.Alas.
I'm weighing tomorow to try and limit the damage of a bad weekend coupled with the joys of water retention...
DLR - sounds like getting to the root of what triggers your emotional eating is a good thing (I know you're aware that it's a response to stress but there's probably something more specific to it than that).
I agree with YM, good to take time to localise the pattern, see what's triggering the pattern, ask some basic questions about what's going on for you.
Kaz, I also hear ya - I think the sugar spikes that cause the mood swings.
I have lost nothing but gained nothing - this week I am going to take one day at a time. Not eat standing up, in the kitchen, whilst watching TV. My biggest downfall is eating anything past 6 pm. I get bored and that's when the trouble starts.
This week my plan is to do anything but be in the kitchen - let's see how I get on.
LR: I just hope you are not giving yourself a hard time, its important to know you have friends who all relate to what you are going though.
DLR: I think it's really, really impressive that you took the step to try and get some further insight into your triggers for unhealthy eating; as yer_maj said, there are probably some other underlying causes, but CBT is a useful process for both becoming more self-aware and practicing mindfulness skills. I can only speak for myself, but it's been invaluable to sort through my self-punishing via eating/not-eating, and I'm learning more and more that if I care about my body, then starvation/restriction/binging from bad AND good food is completely counter-productive. I definitely slip and fall back sometimes (when living with the ex-boyfriend after the breakup recently, for instance), but even then, I relied upon my skills training to confront and accept the feelings I was having and to re-commit myself to be fair to my body and mind. I will say straightforwardly that it's not an overnight cure, and that it's something that I've had to continuously work on over many years. Even with a good eating disorder specialist, it may take a while to get at the root causes and find an approach to re-wiring that works for you, and there will be some time when you feel like you've taken two steps back and none forward. But it's a process that I've found invaluable and has put me in a much healthier place. Good luck, and I/we are definitely here for you.
Pre-Amsterdam training this week consists of 2 or 3 x 5kms (depending on injury) and 1x 8kms, and strength training x 4 or 5 (depending on my productivity levels).
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Lovely weekend for me. The Saturday date turned into date weekend with British guy. Friday night, he cooked me chicken curry and vegetable curry while I worked on my dissertation (!). Saturday morning we went for a 5km run in 27:03 (and he wasn't fazed by my sweating), and in the afternoon we spent the day walking around Amsterdam (probably walked 10km in total). Saturday evening he took me to Jamie Oliver's restaurant Fifteen for dinner (very good, btw). I managed to stay (mostly) healthy, which I've always found extremely difficult when getting to know someone.
I'm hoping for a -300g loss this week. But if the scale doesn't budge, that's okay too as I now fit into my skinny jeans very comfortably and stomach hanging while planking has decreased even more.
I'm a secret chocolate scoffer, too
Generally it's as a result of boredom but if I'm in the house by myself I'll raid the fridge. I'll even eat two of something, so that we aren't left with an odd number - as that would be obvious in a house of two 
Been scoffing more than normal recently, as work has conspired to make me VERY bored. I'm trying to drink water when I feel the urge but I'm weak willed when it comes to sweet stuff.
I'm also thinking of buying some of these Om Nom Nom Nom scales - is the higher spec model (BF511) the model of preference?
Audrey - I to have decided to take one day at a time, and make small changes that I can hang on to instead of short fixes. No.1 - Saturday is weigh- inn and 1 meal of non diet variety. No.2 ?? can wait until next week!!!
LR - I agree that there is probably an underlying cause more than stress. I get stressed because of the pressure I put on myself to be superwoman - spotless house, good mum, etc and when I fail at this- shout at kidz, house is a tip, even the ironing isn't done- things go to pot.
don't be giving yourself a hard time.
I don't know what you have all done to me but this is the first time I have ever spoken/written about this 'stuff'. It is a taboo subject here. Thanks so much everyone.
KO'S - He's British
BTW, will you be Dr KO'S? That's a great super villain name
Orbutt: He is! Although his proper, reserved demeanor is occassionally shocked by my brash American-ness.
And I will be Dr. KO'S! (I'm hoping to defend my dissertation in October, so my Ph.D. will be conferred in December). And upon my finishing, I plan a life of criminal activity. But maybe I shouldn't admit that on the Internetz.
also had a nice Saturday being described as trim at parkrun!
In my experience, subjects that are taboo cause an awful lot of trouble. Letting it all hang out in a safe environment is the way forward.
When I was pregnant with my son I promised myself that the family patterns of secrecy and story weaving were not going to be passed down to another generation, along with a bunch of other unhealthy stuff. I've always said to J that he can tell me/talk to me about anything....and so far this has gone pretty well. There are no taboo subjects in our house and I'm hoping it will stay that way. Not saying that I am by any means a perfect mother/great parent but I want him to always feel that he is fine just as he is and that I won't be shocked by anything he says.
I thought I was the only one. Yep DLR - I hear you. It's all about cakey, biscuity, bready, pancakey, muesli stuff. Lollies - meh. Icecream - not so much. Chocolate sometimes. Dried fruit is also another trigger.
My only solution is not very practical - I just don't let it near me. Don't buy it. Don't keep it in the house. The first bite is always the beginning of the end. Once I start it HAS to be finished. Even when I know I'm full.
Awful work week last week. I'm quite proud of myself because I didn't lose control at the weekend - even though the scales weren't down, we had two dinners out and I had to work all weekend. Normally, I'd feel some sense of entitlement to eat some crap.
And I'm finding it easier to pare back meals. I'm finding if I put out less, I eat less. So often for lunch at work I have salad with tuna and some kidney beans or chickpeas. Now I'm eating the tuna. And then waiting a bit to see if I'm still hungry. If Iam, i eat something else. Stupid I know that I haven't figured this out earlier.
We'll see what the scales say tomorrow.
Hope you can share some of your insights. I am grateful for everybody sharing their experiences - I haven't found anybody to talk to about this.
yer_maj - I have been exactly the same with my two. I have found since Ms NGUG has gone to Uni that she does tend to still tell me everything ... tbh some things I would rather not hear and certainly would have never told my mother LOL
Different generation I guess.
Marathon Maus - I am the same I have to have everything out of the house - if I buy biscuits for the kids we make sure the brand is one I hate as once the packet has been opened its like an open invitation to sneak some. It is always done sneakily too.. piece of really rather horrid turkish delight this pm as I was desparate for something sweet I didnt really want it at all..
Weigh in for me on Wednesday....
DLR sorry to hear about your expected gain this week, it may not be as bad as you think.
i sympathise with the binging mentality. i can be good for the 4 days i am working and then treat myself to a little 'party' on the first of my 4 days off. could easily scoff 2 family packs of doritos, couple of bags of peanuts, pack or two of biscuits, bag of jelly babies, and wash it down with cider then beer, all in one sitting while watching a film or two.
enjoy it while i am doing it, then ask myself why ? as the feeling of the big full belly is not nice.
running has started to change my pattern as i now persuade myself that a run or gym session and the feelgood glow afterwards is much better... but i still occasionaly slip. just trying to minimise the slips.
agree with MM that not having it in the house is the best option for me. when shopping it is easy to be sucked into the two for one specials and buy the two big bags of doritos for example. but if they are in the house, it is only a matter of time before i will 'party'
alsp have been known to do what you do and hide the evidence wrappers of the party.... smuggle them to the bin.
with my alcohol, i am now buying a couple of bottles of beer or cider for that night rather than buying 24 can crates. more expensive but limits the damage.
have also found that using smaller plate at meal time helps trick the mind as well.
this forum and group of friends is helping greatly also, as having to post each week is making me stop and think.
don't really want to post this when others are having issues, but 3lb weight loss for me this week. now 177.3 lbs.
complete shock to me as i started the week badly. i even had to check i had all 4 limbs attached while on the scales, it was that much of a shock.
after a zero loss last week i am very happy. i think its because i have conciously increased my intake of water, and also been a lot more active. in the last week i have been running, mountainbiking, swimming, walking in snowdonia, and have played squash a couple of times.
drinking water makes a huge difference alan. apparently it is very easy to misinterpret thirst signals as hunger signals....
well done on the 3lb loss btw.
thanks SR.
new gps watch arrived this afternoon, so hoping the stats inspire me. wife says they better bloody had, due to the cost of the thing !
Hey, well done, Alan.
And DLR, don't despair yet. Just hop on the scales, note the number and get back off again. It is just a number. Really. I know we're trying to see a smaller one, but (and goodness I need to tell myself this over and over) the number is just one piece of information in the big picture of how you are going. If I know I'm going to see a number I won't like, I step on the scales, shut my eyes and repeat to myself that this is just one piece of information. Then I open my eyes, note it and get off.
Barbara Berkeley wrote a book called "Refuse to Regain", pitched at long-term weight loss maintenance. She's mainly a proponent of primarian diets, but she does give some interesting advice. And she said that even when you have a major blow-out and don't want to get on the scales, that's exactly the time you should, because it gives you a golden opportunity to gather scientific data about what your body is doing. Maybe actually your body did need a good dose of just plain old sugar through it to give it a jolt (read this interesting blog post here: http://womanincredible.com/the-top-2-ways-to-lose-belly-fat/ - I'm not necessarily a proponent of this woman's stuff, but I'd had a theory like this in mind for some time and it was interesting to hear it confirmed).
For some reason, I take comfort in this. And it's much easier to digest (pardon the pun) when I think of it this way.
If it's a number I don't like, I'll usually know why. But sometimes you don't know why and then it's super frustrating. And sometimes you *think* it will be something, but it surprises you.
And yep. SR's right. If I feel hungry, I take 10 seconds and tell myself "Now, you're going to drink a big glass of water" and then re-assess.
Sometimes, though, the water is used to wash down something like, oh, a whole packet of biscuits...
I'm down 900g (2 lb) on last week, at 57.5 kg (126.5 lb). That's 2.5 kg (5.5lb) loss overall.
2 interesting incidents running today.
1. A proper hench runner nodded at me. On the loop I run a few times a week around a lake, there are LOTS of people exercising - all different shapes and sizes - and lots of tourists. Nobody acknowledges one another unless you see them over and over again. But today, proper buff-looking long-distance runner nodded at me. You know the ones you see almost flying as they run, high up on their toes?
2. Schadenfreude incident - girl I used to work with who went on a campaign to have me sacked for incompetence and made my life hell for about 12 months was walking. She ran a marathon eons ago and never stops talking about it. She also sat in the office across from me and used to come in daily to report who she thought looked fatter, thinner. Who was lazier, fitter. better-dressed. And what she'd seen people eat for lunch. I am not kidding. I found this so depressing and I can only assume that since she was moaning to me about everybody else, she was moaning about me to everybody else. Anyway, I ran past her. That's all. It was enough to remind me how far I've come.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
MM never mind running past her, you should have pushed her in the lake
Maybe!
It was interesting - I felt no malice. Just relief that she has no role in my life.
MM - Or tripped her up?!?! No malice??? Your a better person than me!!!
Mind you the satisfaction of running past was maybe enough of a 'rub her nose in it' kindo thing. 
Thanks all. I'll let you know how it goes!
I am going for a go faster hair cut this week. It will be my principle form of weight loss
Stray, what?? no one told me, and I've been carrying this mullet like hair around for 5 years - maybe time to get rid since I am not even off the leader board
<span>My first on track day yesterday, I know I have said that before, but I really feel yesterday I ate like before Paris - nothing extreme, just a measured counting of what was going in the pack lunch and making sure it was a low calorie option.
<span>MM, you really light up this thread - thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us, I was bullied at work also so, I know how hard it is to talk about, and yes, ten years on I still feel the pain of it, but, like you, now feel totally detached from the person, I can even say 'good morning' to them, they hold no power over me.
Also MM, what was it you said about bread? I just checked and my Burgen bread is double what I could eating - I want healthy and medium calorie, and yes, I know, I shouldn't be eating a lot of the stuff but its only one slice in the morning. Salad for lunch
On a final note, I think you are right MM about the importance of a plan after 'blow out' - anyone got any other top tips?
That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me in a long time Audrey.
She and another woman together formulated a poor performance appraisal. They told me I had to sign it, that their assessment was correct, that they were taking perfectly reasonable management action and that I wasn't allowed to talk to anybody else about it or they would complain to the head of the organisation about me, and that I should choose my battles wisely because I had no grounds on which to challenge it. I was told that I should sit in my office all day with the door shut so that I was more productive.
I, to this day, do not have any confidence in the quality of my work.
There are other reasons for this too, but they are well beyond what any of you want to hear!
Hmmm. Bread. There was somebody who was talking to DLR about buying a particular brand that was lower in calories because it had smaller slices. Who was that?
For what it's worth, I think one slice for breakfast is nowhere near problematic. Heck, a lot more than that is not problematic if it's high quality and your system can cope.
Wow! This is such a healthy forum - no irony intended. You really look after each other and have created an environment where physical, mental and social issues can be freely and safely addressed. Just wow. How rare this is. Human beings being beautiful to one another without anyone dictating terms of behaviour. Great stuff.
MM - it's fab that the person who contrived to hurt you in the past doesn't have any hold on you. Bitterness and malice do much more to destroy the person who feels those emotions, than the supposed target of them. It isn't possible to change nasty people. All you can do is to make sure they can't put any hooks into you and have a much better idea of your worth and value than the false image and storylines they wish to stuff into your head.
In terms of my own weight whilst not training, am managing to stay within 1.5 - 2.0kgs of my ideal weight and BF% is not changing much, so am obviously doing sufficient exercise and being disciplined with what I eat.... so far. Got to stay on top of it though. Years of hard training mean that I have never placed any restrictions on what I eat, so doing so now is not straight forward.
One of my teenage daughters is still growing and is a skinny thing. I managed to offload some of my Sunday roast on to her plate which made us both very happy.