The Runner's Arms. (Forum pub.)



  • The bar staff set off to quickly and are now sleeping in the cellar!

  • Why is it not open yet? Hasn't that 24 hour thing started? Do I have a problem?
  • I'm sure they should be open by now... have you tried the door?

  • It's completely empty. Do you think I should just help myself?
  • Yes... they won't mind.. get me one while you're there!!

  • Hold on, what am I doing? I've got a run to do this morning! Sorry, must go. See you later.
  • Oh well, no run ofr me, I'm still injured, so I guess I'll just sit and wait! (Have fun.)
  • Diet coke for me - I've got to drive home.

    Anyway this pub should be called the Runners Legs not arms.

    Now do you have a bar billiards table in here ? Most pubs seem to have got rid of them and it was a great game. Saw one on TV the other night. Think it was in the background of the bar in Hustle.
  • dan dandan dan ✭✭✭

    A pint of the usual and a packet of salt and vinegar please, barman.
  • Just been food shopping - I need a very large drink or two.

    Bar billiard sounds good, haven't played it in years!
  • What is your Guinness like ?
  • Wheres the barman, I start on the door at the club at 8. Need some crisps to help me stomach stop rumbling.
  • Wheres the lap dancers?
  • with the barman ...
  • Buxom barmaid is here, bit tiddly as she's been out drinking champagne but possibly still capable of pulling pints, making a few ham sandwiches and listening to you all telling me your wife doesn't understand you.

    What's your pleasure then, ladies and gent?

    <<ST puts some funky tunes on the juke box and polishes up a few glasses>>
  • dan dandan dan ✭✭✭
    <ogles buxom barmaid's cleavage>

    <drools wildly then unfortunately collapses unconscious under table>
  • Now sir, I think you've had enough. I'm not serving you.

    <<ST bends over to lift up DanDan who recovers sufficiently to ogle her cleavage again and promptly suffers a relapse>>

    Any strong gentlemen in tonight who will give me a hand to pour DanDan into a taxi?

  • <trips over dan dan, then gets up as though nothing happened>
    <looking cool>

    Hi ST. Pint and a packet of salt and vinegar please.
  • Pint of what MB? (Remember I've had a drink and I can't remember what your tipple is).

    <<ST lobs crisps to MB>>
  • <nips home to get a wheel barrow for dan dan>
    A pint of your best bitter this evening please. Ta for the crisps.
    Been busy?
  • What time is happy hour?
  • Sorry, I was off checking my lippy.

    MB, here's your pint. On the house to make up for delay, but don't tell the landlord or he'll dock it from my wages.

    It's been dead quiet in here tonight. Think all the punters have gone down the dodgy 80s night club again.

    It's always happy hour in here! At least when I'm serving.
  • Ta for the beer, ST. Won't say a word.
    I reckon the landlord needs to run a quiz night to get people back in the pub.
  • Great idea. Can we have a round on Hello and OK magazines for the bar staff?
  • WombleWomble ✭✭✭
    Kronenburg and a huge whisky chaser, please, barman as soon as you can :-}
  • Barman unavailable, afraid you'll have to put up with the buxom barmaid.

    There you go sir, enjoy your drinks. On the house.

    Put some music on the juke box, please.
  • OOPS Womble, you're not a sir, are you?

    <<ST makes appointment to get her eyes tested first thing tomorrow mornign>>

    Mind you, it's difficult to tell gender when you're dressed as a womble...
  • WombleWomble ✭✭✭
    I'm not, no, you're right. It's ok though, sniff, sniff. Sorry I called for the barman. I just ran in and needed a drink. Could I have some more now, please <flutters eyelashes> (which she doesn't really have).
  • Yeh sure.
    I want a round on beer and crisp flavours.

    and linking in rather smoothly, can I have another beer and some crisps?
  • Course you can have some more Womble, in fact why don't you all come behind the bar and just help yourselves? I'm tired now from all my champagne guzzling earlier so I'm just going to give the keys to a responsible person and go home.

    Any responsible people in here tonight?

    And has DanDan got home safely?
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