Noticed an explosive response to a posting reply, full of f's, and wondered if it wouldn't have been a better idea to type it all out and then hit delete, instead of submit.
I've done a lot of this. But do others out there do this and how much gets put down before the steam is vented?
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i occasional type a long reply and then actually erase it all before hitting submit.......it helps for me to type it but realise that there is no point as the person will not read it properly.
i very rarely edit
I use that technique for e-mails quite a lot. Write an immediate response to something. I know I can't possibly send it as is, but writing it gets it out of the system, then delete and write a considered reply.
I'm guessing Ghostrider's rant at BBH on the subject of race tops.
I do that with emails - write them, leave them as drafts and then look at them in the morning after a nights sleep, they mostly seem OTT after a nights sleep.
Although I must admit some of the replies that cause the 'outbursts' could do with a bit of reflection too.
NLR sentencing is the most arbitrary thing ever...
In the years where I was a probation officer I spent a lot of time in court, seeing people get the most arbitrary sentences... Magistrates Court worse than Crown Court, but also to a degree in Crown Courts.
You see people who committed acts of violence and have a stack of previous convictions that would kill my shredder, being given yet another "chance" at a non-custodial penalty and walk away with a bit of community service, yet a first time offender who knicked a lap top from work went straight to prison...
As a professional I knew the sentencing guidelines (which are very broad in a lot of instances), but still sometimes it was like tossing a fecking coin...
Bit open to interpretation this one. There is a huge difference between being emotionally repressed and able to express freely.
I think most toddlers go through a stage of expressing their emotions freely. At some point they have to learn that their need is not the only one in existence! Teenagers are much the same. They rock between expressing their emotions in a child like tantrum way and then being repressed and shut in their room ...until they develop a mature way of expressing emotion. So much easier to deal with people who don't veer between the two styles but have a mature balance.
<spoken as mother of teenager> I think it comes with acceptance that they do not have to control the world...just their world.
Good points there Nam
Communication through written word is fraught with issues for everyone, it just becomes even harder to decipher with that type of communication impediment thrown into the mix. T'internet relies on only one cue, when in a face-to-face scenario we rely on not just the words but the non verbal ticks as well. How the text was meant and how it was read will depend on the experience of the person reading, not just the words of the person writing.
Its why you can spend hours writing an essay in English disceting the meaning of one short paragraph in a book. Imagine the fun* you could have disecting the underlying meaning in some of the posts on here...
* that may not be the word I'm looking for
Very true. Posts can be delivered with a smile or an irritable snarl and you receive it in whatever mood/place you are in.
Re autism and mental health issues. I know a guy with autism who consciously uses techniques to identify how his behaviour might be perceived and correct it. This enables him to live a life without so much conflict. He could just take the attitude of this is who I am, now get over it! but he wants to integrate and realises he cannot force the public to adapt to him. I guess not everyone has that capability or motivation and they will then face conflict as they hope to make the world conform to them
Totally agree with OW but would add that your friends and family play a big part in emotional maturity and acknowledging the feelings of others'.
Too many people rage nowadays and claim their freedom to do so, then say sorry but only to knock back the flack that comes their way. They are not really contrite.
Smilies ?
KK online as in life I would expect to note some change of behaviour over time with someone I had frequent contact.
However online there is the advantage of simply "lurking" and simply noting little or no change in behaviour. Think of well known trolls or those banned by RW.
also online can be great for those on the autistic spectrum because they have time to reread what they want to post and can assess if its what they are trying to convey...where as in real life an answer to a question is expected straight away.....and therefore more pressure to get it right.....
so whilst they might get it wrong to start with they will learn from their mistakes and correct them as they have got that desire to fit in whilst still being themselves.....
which brings us back to the opening question......do we edit our inappropriate thoughts......
I do edit my thoughts everywhere in life. Blurting out the first thing that comes into my head is a guaranteed fail. That's not to say I don't express what I feel - i just express it appropriate to the situation.
The contrite comment is a funny one because I've noticed a tendency in teens, toddlers and troll like posters to have an outburst and then apologise and say conversation closed .... until the next time. It's very childlike to thing an apology sorts it all out and you can then do it again
I wouldn't say I edit my thouights, but I do control (I hope) what is broadcast. I don't tend to say the first thing that comes into my head the entire time.
OMG, can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if we all did that all time time - oh for some peace & quiet...
I think KK's point (and correct me if I'm wrong) was, that if you worried endlessly about who you might offend all the time, it would make for very stifled and artificial and to some extent insincere conversation.
It's one thing not communicating like a stroppy teen with no insight nor care regarding the feelings of others... and only communicating in ways that could not possibly even in the slightest, irk someone's sentiments... - I would argue the latter is pretty impossible... someone will always get their knickers in a twist over something...