Mental illness and running

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  • Hey SOLB welcome back image

     

    I got in a bit late putting in for sessions but have got two booked for new year already with possibly more to come

  • Erm, sleep deprivation and me don't go well together. Today moo woke at 4:1, yesterday it was 5:05, day before was 4:53. You get the picture. This has been going on for 2 weeks nearly. The fortnight before that he was poorly with a chest infection so I was up at night with him a lot.

    I was conscious that bad thoughts were creeping back in. I had promised myself that if I was still battling them tonight I would call Alice, my therapist, for some support. I think giving yself permission to let go and see who would catch me has helped. Thanks everyone
  • Glad we're altogether in a sticky tape hug then By Eck.  You obviously need it.  Hope you get a better night tonight.  It can't be easy for you.

  • Thank you bear image Sounds positive 

    Oh by eck, you've had such a lot to deal with lately no wonder you are feeling exhausted and are finding it harder to cope. Did you call Alice? I'm glad you were able to let go a bit, must have been very difficult trying to hold everything up on your own

  • image night all 

  • Morning. I'm starting the day on a positive with Positive Outlooks on fb that I thought I'd share.

    How did everyone sleep last night? Hilly - how you doing this morning?

     

  • Morning all, particularly By eck.  Really hope you had a better start this morning.  Big hug for you in any case (((((((By eck))))))).

    Off for an early start today.  Feeling a bit better this morning.

  • I particularly like this one:

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/16151_482886668420702_273552248_n.jpg

     

  • Morning All

    feeling a little better today so we'll see how things go...

    weekend is here finally although i will barely see Mrs B again which is annoying

  • Today was 3am. I persuaded him to sleep from 6:30- 8:00 then I called my mum and asked her to help me get moo ready for nursery. My brain just won't work. She thought he was looking a bit flushed. All plans for today have gone out the window. This morning I will sleep then review the situation at 12:30.
  • Morning all, oooh nice link Soupy, I like the bike one too image 

    Woo hoo to feeling better LR and Bricki - sucks about missing the Mrs though. 

    Oh by eck that sounds like a plan indeed, hope you are fast asleep now. 

    I feel better today too image image I have lots of stuff on the to do list, but I think I am going to attempt to go to the gym first - haven't been for a while and I doubt missing it it's especially helpful ... I'd also stopped taking the anti d's over the last couple of weeks (no idea why) so I have had to start again from yesterday. I feel nauseous but I can't really complain as it's my own fault! (Am on 90mg Duloxetine + the 650mg Quetiapine, I didn't stop the Quetiapine so that's OK but I am wondering whether I should have started back on the Duloxetine on 30mg's then built up - too late now and I'm sure my body will adjust pretty quickly)  

    *yawns* 

    Anyway; breakfast, quick tidy then gym ... oh hang on, I'm still sellotaped to the hug *yank yank* 

  • *Unsticks SOLB*

    The run up to Christmas is the worst time of the year.  I feel like hibernating until mid-January but I don't want to hibernate on my own.  I struggle at this time of year at the best of times, but this year I feel so completely alone and isotated

  • so, i'm not the only disliker of xmas then

    i havo to make it happen for my wife and boy - even then, Phil does'nt really understand it- and Mrs Mick isnt so hot on it if the grand children arent around

  • SuperCaz

    i met u at Mudchute and we had quite a chat yes ?????

  • Ok, I'll stick my neck out there and say I love Christmas. It a completely chaotic time of year and always has been. We have carolling, food parcels, and things to organise. My parents have worked every Christmas morning since I've been 2, and are frequently called to an emergency at some point. Our tree isn't up yet, but the presents have been bought/planned for months. Yesterday, I bought 80 presents for children and teenagers to go in food parcels. I had a tiny budget, but I loved the fact that I could help those families feel cared for. Walking round a toy shop and choosing sparkly wands, pretty pens, and putty that makes rude noises fills me with a huge sense of joy and fulfillment.

    Then, on 22nt December this year it starts on earnest. We lead community carol singing round the town tree, next night it's lessons and carols in a little tiny village church. Christmas eve is our own carol service by candlelight. Christmas lunchtime, after we've been to church, we go and play and sing to the staff and patients at the community hospital. My children come with me, and my daughter loves it. She and her brother hand out sweets ( and kisses!), talk to the people who are clock watching to see if their family is coming, or let the staff know their time away from their own families is appreciated.

    And then we come home. Stockings are for before church, main presents for after. Paper flies everywhere. I don't spend much money, but what is spent is worth everypenny. The squeals of 'i always wanted one of those' resound and we help, show and tell. Main food is at tea time, this year there will be 8 of us, and somehow it all happens

    I know there are many people who go through the motions, do it for the children or their grandchildren. Some find it a painful reminder of those who are no longer there, or some difficult time in your life. I fully understand that. I'm not here to persuade you otherwise. But Christmas, for me, is filled with a magic that very few get to witness.
  • I kinda like Christmas, I love the build up with the minis; we make decorations and stuff every year. I quite like Christmas cards cos it reminds me to tell people how much they mean ..  but I don't like Christmas day and (voluntarily) spend the majority of the day on my own.

    I'm not a practicing Christian but I live largely according to those values anyway and am usually pretty quick to offer to help if anyone is in need etc all year. 

    I love buying and making presents for people at every other time of the year but (bar the mini's) I hate it at Christmas. I get so much pleasure from a 'just because' present but the expectation and franticness of Christmas just makes me a bit sad. That said I've just bought the mini's two presents for today cos minimini NEEDED a sparkly singing unicorn and mini NEEDED a doodle on it purple pony image image I should have made them wait until Christmas but I just love the thought of making them happy and I'm too impatient! 

    I may have also posted a silly just because present for my best friend today but image just in case she wanders in image 

  • Awww mini immediately coloured the entire purple pony purple image
  • Evening. I've a tough afternoon and came home from work early, went straight to bed and just woke up. But do you know, I'm really lifted reading of by eck's Christmas and SOLBs purple pony. and sparkly unicorn. It gives me real warm glow and reminds that there are some lovely people in this world. 

    I don't know why it went so wrong for me today. I think I might be coming down with a cold but I've been really emotional. One "difficult colleague" ring leader was really nice to me and even touched my arm in a sort of affectionate way and that was it, I just wanted to cry then found myself doubting everything she'd done over the last year and felt guilty for complaining. Had a good chat with my caseworker and I've sorted out the guilt (I feel guilty so easily) and picking up a bit now. I've got to continue focusing on my strengths and successes. She made a really important point about that giving me true belief and confidence in myself, as opposed random positive thinking which can be empty. 

     

  • Aww sorry it's been rough Soupy, it's good that you know your limits and you've come home early and had some rest, it's not always easy to admit when things are tough. 

    Hmm self confidence and self belief are so hard aren't the?. It's ridiculous that one negative comment said to me a million years ago is still more powerful than a hundred thousand positive ones. Maybe once you believe in your strengths you'll be able to recognise that others do too. 

    Here is a super purple pony and a mini image 

    /members/images/614453/Gallery/g.jpg

     

     

  • Lovely photo Solb. The pony obviously wasn't quite purple enough! image

  • Gorgeous isn't she? *proud Aunty smile*

    Can you guess what mini's favourite colour is? image
  • when u see a picture like that - it really brings home the meaning of life

    bought a tear to my eye

  • Super purple pony image I love seeing how children create
  • SOLB I love your minis - wish I could adpot them as they l;ook fab image

     

    I actually quite like Crimbo - I'm not a huge participator but I do rather enjoy the sense of warmth, although at times i do feel rather on my own and missing out.  Then again I like my own space to some extent so full on socialising for days on end leaves me wiped out.  Maybe we can have a virtual Crimbo on here image

     

    I get to see the psych on Wednesday - I think I'm vastly improved but still not sure I'm 100%.  I need to get back to doing my three things daily and remembering to focus on achievements and positive qualities rather than what went wrong like I usually do image

  • Hi all

    Made it through the work christmas do but found it tough going.  Got home early evening and went for a much needed sleep as I was exhausted.  Definitely needed it.

    Looks like I set off quite a christmas debate there.  I'm with Bear in that I do like my own space so I find it challenging in that way.  When with family at Christmas I find it a relief to go the toilet as it means I finally get a couple of minutes on my own and just wish it could last longer.  I then feel guilty cos I think I'm being such a misery but I can't help it.  Hibernating's got a lot to be said for it.  I wouldn't begrudge anyone that does enjoy it though as it must light up the darkest (daylight wise) time of year for many.

    Definitely approve of miniSOLBs choice of favourite colour.  It's my favourite to the extent that I have to have a car in that colour.

    SD - hope you're OK.  Sounds like you've had a tough day.

     

  • 3 things is good bear, seems to work really, really well for you (plus we get to be bossy thenimage

    Christmas debate going strong! I think that's pretty close to spot on, certainly wouldn't begrudge anyone else having a good Christmas but the expectations of being in a wonderfully sunny mood are tough - especially when you end up feeling guilty for not being happy on top! (Me too, though I usually get to see the minis on Christmas morning, and I'm always genuinely happy when they are) 

    My favourite colours are orange and yellow - I think I prefer orange but marginally and mood dependent ... SOLBsis' favourite colour is grey I've never heard of anyone else liking grey best

  • SOLB - did you make it to the gym OK today?

  • I went for a run instead ... bit of a disaster ended up coughing up blood image I have a doctors appointment on Monday to talk about the asthma and stuff so I'll mention it then. I breathed in a whole load of mould dust the other day and I'm wondering if that has caused the blood. 

     

  • I'm feeling full of good Christmas cheer all of us sudden. Someone really nice has had their day cheered up by Secret Santa image 

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