Mental illness and running

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  • Oh dear.  I think the most important thing right now is that you seem to be able to spend more time with the minis.  They grow up so quick so that's a important part of your progress to be able to so them and give them treats.

    Hope the appointment goes OK.

    I've got orienteering again in the morning - if I can force myself to decide that it's a better option than exploring the four corners of the duvet.

     

  • The 'oh dear' was for the first post - not for the Christmas cheer!

  • image I agree I'm more pleased at spending time with the minis than anything else. That's how I knew I was better I felt like me again interacting with them.



    I meant to be asleep by now but more coughing and more blood image I'm not massively concerned but I've never coughed up blood like this before it's a bit creepy when it happens.



    Never mind.



    Bear I'm so sorry I forgot to check routes for the mundane thingje tomorrow image hope you weren't just being too polite to remind me. If it's not too short notice and you can get out towards Oxford I'd happily pick you up (i don't know exactly where you are or how easy the transport system would be ... if you do a Google map from my area to Sheffield it'll show you my rough route and I'm happy to detour to find you.) I completely forgot about route planning, I don't tend to look until the last minute cos I just worry about it if I look early and there's really no point.
  • Urghh I forgot to sleep. I'm going to give trying to eat with everyone a miss. It feels too big and public and my OCD is too strong. I want to have fun with everyone not just cope with managing symptoms

    Text me if I need to collect a hitchhiker with his paw up on the way. So so sorry I filed it all under don't think about it too much or you won't go.
  • Morning. I'm a bit fragile today but a lot better than yesterday. I didn't wake up till 9! I've slept for hours and hours. 

    Solb - hope the coughing is sorted. Sounds very unpleasant so good luck at the doctors on Monday. (don't be scared if he sends you for an x-ray, its standard practice for coughing blood and if he/she doesn't then you should ask for one. Most turn out okay so I don't want to panic you but its best to be thorough). 

  • SOLB have a good one today and don't worry about trying to eat when out.  I'm sure everyone understands.

    SD - hope the sleep has done some good.  My evening sleep just seemed to lead to only half a nights sleep at the right time.  I suppose it adds up to the same but has left me feeling a bit rough this morning.

  • Thank you image



    I'm having a quiet wibble outside of the pub.

    It's not something I often talk about and I'm not sure it's wise but I feel like being honest.

    I have a history of being severely sexually abused from 3-11 yrs old and my abuser always smelt of alcohol, cigarettes and stale velvet (for some reason) that combined with a 9 hour abduction by my then 'best friend' and his friend where I was abducted from a pub while at uni makes it really hard for me to feel comfortable in pubs.

    I'm more scared than I thought I'd be, but I'm going to go in and be all smiles and hope that the mundanies later report that they didn't know I was freaking out.

    *deep breaths solb*
  • Oh that's so dreadful.  I can see why it can be so difficult for you.  That was a really big thing to come out with on here.  As you know, people on here are with you all the way.  Take those deep breaths and go for it!

  • Oh SOLB sweetie that's terrible image  Well done on being brave and talking about it though image

  • Well done for going in SOLB. You're very brave to talk about it and deal with it, I mean that genuinely and in a non-condescending way. Hope it all goes well and make sure you go to the doctor about your coughing!

  • Solb, I don't do the smell of smoke and beer for similar reasons. You are incredibly brave.
  • (((((SOLB)))))

    We exchanged real hugs today (and they were fab) but I hadn't read this thread before meeting you in the pub. I had no idea, lovely x
  • Hurray for hugs!!
  • Hooray for hugs and hooray for SOLB for going through with it today.  Tremendous effort.

  • Thanks for the support image

    I'm on my way home, just stopped for petrol (and sweets!)

    Am blasting my way back, happy music on top volume, feeling very loved!

    Should be home by 1.

    Xxxxx
  • Poo poo willy willy bum bums am too wired to sleep
  • Erm, moo is back to getting up early.Not as bad as last week, hut 5:30 this morning. We have already discussed parts of the body,done some counting and had a sing song.

    In absolutely fabulous news - my brother flew in from Canada yesterday with his girlfriend. I haven't seen him since February and yesterday was the first time we met beccah. She seems really lovely, and I'm sure she will be absolutely fine with Sunday lunchtime madness....
  • Aww so happy your brother is over that's brilliant image



    Your morning sounds both cuter and more exhausting than mine!
  • Mr by eck has taken over now so I can have another hour in bed.
  • *waves to Mr By Eck*

    Night night
  • image Christmas tree should be making its appearance today
  • Sounds fantastic.

    Bear has his up already image

    Oo I forgot to say I had lovely news.

    I'd realised I couldn't afford to buy a Christmas tree and all the lights and stuff in one go (cos obviously I don't have anything not having had a tree before) I was planning to buy some lights in the sales and have a tree next year instead. While I was busy trying not to feel disappointed I couldnt do it this year now OCD is finally calm enough a forumite offered to lend me some spare lights and decorations image
  • image great news SOLB

  • image have got the inevitable mood crash from yesterday

  • SOLB, be proud of yourself! There's nothing wrong with feeling like you achieved something. You felt the fear and did it anyway (to paraphrase the book). I'm fairly sure that's most people's definition of bravery.

    As for the post-social event shame, don't worry about it! I bounce from one social faux pas car crash to another. And people still talk to me (I don't know why).

  • Just been out to the woods for a run.  33 minutes this time - I keep pushing myself to do an extra minute each time.  It's been a tough week and I felt pretty rough when out orienteering yesterday and I really couldn't see how I was going to make it out today.  I felt a bit better as Saturday wore on though.  What made the difference though was seeing what SOLB achieved yesterday.  I thought if SOLB can achieve that then me getting out for a run should be easy by comparison.  Thanks SOLB - you made it happen and I hope in return it gives you something to help your mood today.

  • I'm sure the mini's would love to help you create some decorations. Handprints on cards can be turned into doves ( and jellyfish if you so choose)
  • I was quite cross with myself for letting the shyness win, yesterday; I positioned myself by the door and next to someone else's dogs so I had both a distraction and exit planned image

    At the other end of the table were people I've met before and regularly chat to, and yet I couldn't bring myself to take myself over to talk to them. Pathetic, really.

    I just hope no one thinks I was being rude or feel snubbed image



    To break the guilt cycle today, I threw myself into some DIY and gardening - demolished our old shed (new one arrives tomorrow), dug up shrubs and laid new slabs ready for the bigger one. Sore but satisfied, now image
  • Frodo, these situations can be difficult at times.  It's not pathetic just at times it can be too much to face up to.  After all, they could have come over and spoken to you.  It's something I often feel awkward about when I'm out.  I'd rather just sit where I am and feel awkward about going over to anyone else that I know.  When I'm not on top of my game it's just so difficult to open a conversation.  Also people are always in the middle of another conversation so I always thing what if I go over there have no idea what they're talking about and can't work my way in.  I'd feel such an idiot.  These things aren't easy even if some people make them look easy so don't beat yourself up over it.

    I am glad that you mentioned the new shed was arriving tomorrow though, otherwise I would thought the old one had been destroyed in frustration!

    I see SOLB's name has received some festive decoration!

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