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Relationships and marriage..........Knight in shinning armour?
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But you want a man to have a job and a salary and house and marry him and live off him?
Why is it OK for you to live off a man, but not for a man to want to live off you? You say you'll look after him, he could get a housekeeper for that (and fire her if she doesn't do a good job!)
I've never been a fan of boiled rabbit
Just to play devil's advocate, isn't that what you want but in reverse?
Fatima, I'd say you never loved him if you couldn't feel attracted to a man who needed your help.
That's pretty cold.
I have to say, I've never met any man who would be unhappy that, as a single woman, I was independent and looking after myself.
As AllNew says, you probaly need to change where you're looking!
Also, I wonder how soon into a relationship (and how) you're broaching the subject? If you're currently working and supporting yourself, I would think many men would be peturbed if you announced that your intention was to give that up and expected them to provide for you.... unless they are particularly well-heeled themselves.
But you expect a man to be attracted to you when you're plainly saying you want to be able to stay at home and therefore require his help to sustain a comfortable lifestyle as a housewife?
Double standards?
OK, much slower than everyone else as usual but I'd just like to say.....
LOL @ boiled bunny
What would Fatima think or say to a boy who professed that he only wanted to be a House-husband?
Often I hear girls saying they are looking for a boy the make them happy or who makes them laugh. It works the other way too!
It is so true that if you do not have some peace, contentment and happiness within yourself you cannot have the disposition to pass those qualities to others'. I think Fatima has too many generalised, preconceived notions about men and should be more subjective on meeting a guy that interests her.
Most women would say that a well educated professional man would be "a good catch" and most of those guys would say the same about women even if the girl only wanted to be a housewife and mother. Sometimes, not always, it can be horses for courses and yes what has love got to do with it!
Yes. that's how I see it, KK.
Circumstances, financial and practical, will determine the roles within a relationship - and that will potentially change as the relationship evolves, whether children come along or whatever.
Unless the man is particularly well-off, it's most liley that both partners will HAVE to work to support the pair of them.
That would probably scare most men that I know straight away. He'd probably think that you just wanted to sponge off him!
We were in a position in our marriage where MrGFB was in training for his now occupation...he stayed at home and watched the kids while I worked, when he was fully trained we swapped roles - he worked and I stayed with the family.
Those were decisions we made mutually and it worked for us at the time.
I think if you really have such clearly-defined requirements from a relationship, you're going to end up disappointed.
Either you'll never find someone who meets all your requirements, or if you do, then you'll find that wasn't what you wanted after all.
Fatima should try Match.com or whatever - don't you have to put in all the details of the kind of person you're looking for? Then anyone looking at her profile would know what she was seeking and one of those chaps who look for Thai brides could save himself a trip to Bangkok.
I always intended to be my partners equal when it came to work and household responsibilities. However, life didn't turn out like that.
For various reasons I was always going to earn less than him (he is more qualified, has chosen a better paid profession and is better at his job that I am at mine) so we never have been equal really.
And now I have had to give up work for health reasons - partly my own health, and partly to help him cope with his illness.
It's not the way I wanted it, but to be honest, it doesn't matter. And why doesn't it matter? Because we love and respect each other. He knows that I am giving up a lot for him, but he is grateful that I am willing to support him, as he has supported me in the past. That means that for a short time I have to sacrifice my wishes to enable the partnership to keep going, and I'm sure that at some point in the future those roles will be reversed.
Judging from Fatima's post about her ex-husband, she did NOT take the same view as you Caz.
I've never wanted to be a housewife (although not working has appeal!). I wouldn't want to be dependent on someone else. Circumstances can force it on you, but I wouldn't choose it.
The only way I could stay at home would be with a nice lottery win!
Anyway, how can I get me one of these Thai brides everyone is talking about?
The answer to the question of why do i think is ok for a man to mantain a wife and financially support the hosuehold?
Well, for me that is the natural way of doing things. Man puts the money into the home and woman the rest.
When people ask me why man mantains woman and not the other way round my asnwer is simple: Why is women the one suffering 9 months of pregnancy and hours in pain in labour?
I will believe in "equality" when men have babies.
I remember saying to my "ex-husband" that if we were to share the financial responsabilities we would share the pregnancies too. Funnily enough he refused.
Now in the 21 centurt roles can be reversed. Now in 21 century surgeons have made it possible for males to have babies. They can inplant the embrio in a male and it develops there. Then, when the time comes, the birst occurs by C-section. IT IS MEDICALLY POSSIBLE.
But obviously nobody wants it to happen. No man would be interested in it.
This is just to prove the point. When a man asks me "why would i be the only one going out to earn the money?" my answer is a siple "why would i be the only one having the babies?" and then i suggest we share the pregnancies, he has the first baby and I'll have the second....................
Is a laugh to see his face!
If you really want "equality", then lobby for the medical science to make men have pregnancies and babies too.
thaibrides.com
And I'm not even making that up!
Mind you, the girl on the home page doesn't look Thai to me. I guess she's Ukrainian - they've diversified!
I was a stay at home wife for almost ten years. I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home with the kids but retrained and got back in to the workforce as soon as the youngest hit primary.
Its not all its cracked up to be (the housewife thing, not the raising of kids)
OK, the more I read the more speechless I become and the more I have to wonder if Fatima is in fact a thinly veiled spammer.
Would you like some grip to go with your shinning suit, love?