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A bit of a harsh mother?
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and about people's perception in general
is that, because a person has difficulty understanding social situations they will necesarily close down. My boys go in all guns blazing
i can imagine them being jolly at a funeral, like Del boy and rodney trotter in the batman and robin suits
boy3 did not understand the "i have trouble making friends" question
"making friends is easy, i just have to be nice to them"
he totally bypasses all the social niceties and walks straight up to people as if he has known them all his life
he can then drop them just as quickly
boy1 used to be the same
he has learnt to be more cautious now
but both are still at risk as they will talk to anyone, and assume that person to just want to be friends with them.
BTW, never, ever tell a psychiatrist you are a long-distance runner, especially if you are female (blokes are 'allowed' to be into 'sport', so get a bit more leeway).
One particularly memorable occasion had me telling the psychiatrist about Thames Meander:
Psychiatrist: <horrified look> 'So... is that normal?!'
Duck: 'Statistically, obviously not!'
very interesting reading this thread :-)
interesting that my job involves a lot of stuff that came up on the test, some of which i find easy, some which i struggle with.
Me - 10
You may also find the Neurotypicality test amusing :¬)
weren't you a techie in a former life?
I think this is a typical example of someone posting a relatively innocuous, amusing news item and the thread then spinning out of control and becoming really and truly f***ing amazing.
I've been lurking with nothing useful to say but just wanted to tell you how much I've learned and how fantastic this (whole) place really is.
"i am not bonkers am i?" thread
talking about me me me
as usual
:-)
I have met Lurker's boys and love the frankness of the eldest and youngest. Youngest asked me why I was still here in the morning, after I had stayed over, he wasn't being at all rude, merely intrigued. When I explained it had been too late to get the train home the previous night he was quite happy.
My neighbour has a son of now 4, who I and others perceive as being "not in the normal range", she is struggling to cope as her younger child is "normal". I think he is very like his successful, defence lawyer, father.
:-)
I worry about Harry, he is very bright, has friends, becomes very focused and is generally described as being eccentric
have you?
i remember now
I dont think I've ever wished that Mrs could be like everyone else, but I have wished that she hadn't had to suffer like she has. Thats not suffering caused directly by the Autism you understand, but suffering caused by others because they don't or wont understand or make allowances. (and I don't include folks who act out of ignorance either - you sort of get immune to that).
I think thats the nub of why I don't want to see a cure or an invitro test. The disability itself never killed anyone, its the way its handled that can cause so much damage. So I do wonder a little if the drive for a cure is driven more by society's inability to deal with a condition that makes it (society) feel uncomfortable, than a desire to alleviate suffering.
Favourite subjects being:-
Free range eggs
Fly fishing
Omlettes
Flying saucers
bit surprised by that
i agree this is a fascianting and eduational thread
22 for me - interesting Thanks IDG
And I agree with mutters and the hat wearing hippo
will be back to reread and rethink....
FR I do wonder whether test results are due to spending so much time around Mrs that your 'normal' reference has shifted? I'm pretty average compared to my friends at uni (rather at lot of whom actually have a diagnosis of their own / a compsci degree, which seem to be much the same thing), but I know that going to see my Incredibly Girly Cousin & her friends over Christmas (she's doing Fashion Design at Manchester uni) we make me feel a complete social klutz.
But anyway I wouldn't be surprised if you scored differently on a more implicit test.
the AQ test is also autism-specific - being dyspraxic is a bit different, as social impairment is incidental, and motor & sensory aspects are more important. This is one reason PDD (pervasive developmental disorders) are really hard to diagnose - they are a bit like sets of interlocking Venn diagrams, and some particular groups of features commonly cluster together & this gets a label, but as awareness, diagnosis, & changing environment pick up more features then different clusters are picked up & different diagnoses given. From reading research literature I'm probably most accurately described as hyperlexic, but when I was small then that wasn't a set of symptoms anyone had noticed together enough to give it a name (still only seems to be diagnosed much separately in America), and it's a lot harder to diagnose in adults.
(My academic supervisor has been known to pop up on here very occasionally, although I'm fairly sure he doesn't know who I am yet *looks paranoid*).
yes, i agree
I can play the game without thinking about it now
doesn't always translate very well to NTs though, but in some circumstances i can do quite well on picking up social communication. Have also learnt to 'act parts' very well too - if i know about what's expected, like in the shop, i can be very confident & good at social stuff, even if a lot of the time it's more-or-less like sticking lots of Lego bricks together to make the right sort of shape for phoning someone up about an order, or selling a bike.
I also have to suppress a lot of emotions that are unhelpful in our relationship. Anger is the big one. She gets very upset if I'm angry, even though its not with her. So I have to switch that off. Grief is another one she can't deal with.
I relate to the "Acting" bit big time. Mrs has a host of scenarios stored in her head for various social situations (getting the train, giving a lecture, going to the shop) and they just come out like a familiar old film. gets thrown if something isn't right, or something unexepected happens though. She gave a lecture to some schoolkids at half term, and at the end they applauded, which is something her regular students don't do. So she got really scared and didn't know how to react at all.
Another social device that she's found useful is the "I'm sorry could you repeat that?" whenever someone says something ambiguous. No one minds repeating what they've said once, and the repetition nearly always involves some re-phrasing, which may make whats said clearer for her.
I agree with Waaps - this thread has turned out to be amazing.
Mrs and I often discuss how we manage to coexist. Well she found this advert on youtube and showed me it. It does describe how things are. There are often times when her mind is a closed book even to me, and then there's suddenly a revelation, a conjuction of such clarity that its almost painful. If I might be forgiven some sentimentality, these are moments when I see the true beauty that lies within.
Anyway - watch the video - you'll see what I mean
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rUFeCd5asMw
Fascinating stuff.
Without banging on, couldn't agree more, ther is an increasing tendency to label and pigeonhole in education as part of the whole inclusion thing, It gives non specialists ie mainstream teachers an excuse to justify a particular type of behaviour (ie Bad)as in Ohh he must have traits of ..... (fill in the gaps with 3/4 letter acronym of your choice).