WOW! I just happened to write "dog, midget and scuffle" into google, and found a link to dogwalkersworld.com, and found this account below!!!
I had a totally bizarre runner rage incident tonight on my way home tonight. Wa;lking my dog on a public footpath I spotted a guy storming downhill at what must have been a furious 7min miling or something. Tall fella he was, bronzen, shirtless. Basically pure homo-erotic glory.
I moved to one side, as he stormed past, shouting a threatening sounding "evening" to me, making sure to warn him about my dog - he's old you see and gets worried at ferocious paced moving things. He had headphones on, and an expression that smacked of "don't look at what you can't keep up with son".
He stormed past my poor Alfie, who not unreasonably had come looking for me, and was surprised to encounter this pacy young man, greeting him with a friendly nuzzling of his toes.
This super aggressive tall shirtless guy then started booting poor Alfie in the face, screaming "take that son, don't you know who I am, I'm the legend they call a Bus".
I walked over to gently ask that he stopped booting my poochie, but instead he kicked him into the next field, screamed "THREE POINTS" and came for me!
I was scared I must admit, as I'm a short fella, and this guy must have been a whopping 5ft 6. Tanned, like adonis, he clearly works out.
I tried to calm him down, but he just kept wrestling me, asking me "who's the daddy" and tickling me, while I tried to plead that I was within my rights to walk my poochie in the field, and tellin me that he was gonna get some guy called "Ric" on me, who apparently would tell me what I'm doing wrong in my life.
After an exchange of words, with him telling me that he's within his rights to "boot any dog that even looks at me, into dodge", I took off downhill towards the road.
He found this quite funny, and then started after me down the hill shouting something about "big boy wants seconds"
I pleaded with him some more to calm down, but even trying to gently restrain him into a gate didn't work, and I couldn't get a proper grip, as his sweaty tanned body was glistening too much in the sun. He dragged me into the road, and told me in very outdoor language that I was a "bleeping wrongun", and then booted me and my dog over the gate.
I learnt a lesson that day - don't mess with runners!
as much as enjoyed watching Simon grapple against the horrid 3k distance and the HAIR (tie it up!), Bus that’s one of the funniest things I’ve really ever read!!
Just a couple of inaccuracies I feel obliged to correct in "his" version (and your summary) though- 7 min miling IS ferocious down THAT hill (might have been slower as well - garmin reckons about 7.30!!!!).
More importantly, I am 5 foot 7 and 3/4 dontcha know!!! I used to be 5' "8 (and believe it or not, that was average height in 1988!) but I'm shrinking with age and/or relentless pounding of my legs!
He was definitely right about the shirtless, bronzen, Adonis-like sweaty body though I also suspect the Avon Skin So Soft sprayed liberally all over me made his grip even trickier (it's to keep ticks away - honest guv )
As an almost equally bizarre aside, it was in exactly the same field where I once saw local legend Fabian Downes think better of messing with a herd of skittish bulls and do a 180 deg turn back to run up the road instead! You'd think HE could have outrun them!
Bus you need to write "Tales of the unexpected; Dogs v Buses"; would be a best seller😉
Quality response SG; proving again you should be a journo of some sort you are so entertaining with the written word.
Now to mundane stuff (well not compared to me, but to the SG/Bus posts) great 3000 Simon (even by your exalted standards) and nice progressive tempo MH.
Just ticking over myself this week. 2 day jaunt to Alton Towers now with the teenage daughter but hopefully we take in the cool named The Wammy parkrun Saturday morning, as staying nr Stoke with my sis. Your old stamping ground Simon. Dean if you still read this forum have you done that one yet?
Great racing Simon & a fine report too - succinct. Hilarious Bus / SG. Have fun Pete. Not done The Wammy but I'm also doing a relatively new one Saturday: Tetbury Goods Shed. Only event#7. That's my wu for Leg 7 of Cotswold Way Relay at 1pm - could get very sweaty. I'm also marshalling a road crossing in between so a busy day coming up. I've done 5, 8+3.3, 6.6, 7.6+6.4 so far this week & planning 5M at lunch tomorrow then Saturday's racing should tip me over 50M in 6 days too so highest week since April! Here's the Leg 7 profile!
Nice page - enjoyed that as much as the infamous "tuna bagel" count
SW - Yes, 8x1km aint something I'd be trying for 5k pace. Peaking for 10k yes.
Jools - that looks a ridiculously devised course. Who thought bunging that massive dip and rise in midway was giggles?
Followed the consensus on here, and went for the 4x1mile progressions then - well, ok 1600s (I thought about Phil pointing out it's key to be clear on the diffo, back in circa 2013 or so I think that was!)
I like this sesh, as it gives you license to be fairly "relaxed", and not get too caught up in splits, like other reps and sessions might be.
I went for a vague idea of start at TMP, 6ish, 1.30 laps, and get quicker each rep.
Taking lap splits, and then painstakingly adding them up gives me (with what the mile would be in brackets - ie add 2 seconds!)
5.58 (6.00) 5.52 (5.54) 5.49 (5.51) 5.44 (5.42)
So that was what I needed. I liked how seamlessly I upped things when needed for rep 4. Despite turning up and thinking "are my legs tired", "is it a bit windy"
What I didn't need was an old fashioned utter stomach meltdown in the last 600, but I got the last 400 off at 1.23 so was happy enough
Future plans then...how does this look?
Tue - Marlow 5k
Sat - Relay, 3.5mile offroad leg
Tue - choice of 3 - have to decide.
Datchet 5k - club race - that I don't usually do - 2 lapper, uninspired
Gosport 5k - love getting down there
Rose Inn 4miler
We're running out of options for the latter two - doesn't help they pick the same dates - and after this date, there's just one version left in August.
All 3 of the above races are "good solid workout" jobs, rather than aiming to smash times - although Rose Inn I'd be fairly guaranteed a 4 mile pb - with mine sitting at 24.20 from 2008! The relay especially is offroad, has a decent hill early on, and is always a ferociously hot day - magnificently timed to be at the peak temps 12-2pm! I'm always a little concerned at potential "wipe out" factor in this one, having come close in 2017!! That was the dreaded long leg though, this is a new "slightly longer than the short leg" job that everyone does this year rather than the long-short split.
Only small problem, is where to fit the actual sessions in to improve pace - rather than smashing the races in - but we'll have to use these to help things along!
A lovely chocolate lab ran out of some bushes to chase back to its owner on my run last night. I couldn’t stop in time and trod on the poor things paw and it yelped. I stopped, gave it a stroke and took it back to its owner explaining what had happened and to watch for any reaction in the paw. It was a civil and friendly exchange
tellin me that he was gonna get some guy called "Ric" on me, who apparently would tell me what I'm doing wrong in my life.
Why bring me into it?
Keep you involved son.
Oh yes, of course.
I never seem to be troubled by dogs. Just lucky I suppose. Years back, a friend of mine was running up a footpath off road, when he was confronted by a couple of Pit Bulls escaped from some scrapyard outfit.
He escaped by vaulting over a close wired fence into a space filled entirely by stinging nettles.
The gravity of the situation was brought home to me when he told me, he never felt a thing!
One of a small number of breeds that you pray you never come across like that.
That nettle situation I experienced very similar back in 99.
First year Uni - vague plan to meet with a mate for some footy playing. Mysterious car just round the corner from my place. I looked to see if it was my pal - it wasn't but I obviously stared too long, as the guys shouted "yes, we're doing drugs".
I carried on, one last look back...furious thrashing of engine starting...
Sprinted round the corner, and jumped into some bushes off the road - as the car flew by.
Couple of mins later - looked down, am in the middle of a tonneload of nettles, legs covered in the white marks... didn't feel them for about 20mins.
Oh my word they stung then!
Occasionally wonder what would have happened If I hadn't run!!
My nettles dilemma came when I had the choice of staying on course and running through a 30 yard stretch of the buggers filling a footpath, or go another way and maybe get lost.
I chose the nettles. Sure they stung, but the after effects meant I felt ill for a few hours after.
Right then. Running. 20 miles done this morning. Finished before 10:00 am. That follows the 20 miler I did on Tuesday.
Warm and windy session on the grass at Wrest park yesterday. 8 x 800 with 90. Started off on a 2.33 as didn’t have a warm up, then got them down to 2.30 and a 2.24 to finish. Felt good as it was quite warm.
Then in we all went en masses to Watford to watch the BMC Grand Prix. Some really good performances and quite a few folk there to say hi to. Reminds me how long I’ve been in the running game!
Long run to Luton in a bit to watch the Luton 5 mile race, couple of birthday beers after.
I knew a Simon Coombes when I fished Tring back in the 80's. For a while I wondered if it was one and the same. Clearly not - for a start, you are taller.
Fishing. Not many activities where dossing about for hours on end can count as doing something.
Within the business, boredom never seems to come into it. But I can see how it can. From the outside, it looks pointless.
However, with all the home comforts available on the bank, some guys take full advantage of the situation. Behind the locked gates of private fisheries they can have as much drink, drugs and extra curricular women they can muster without fear of detection or censure.
At times, for some, the catching of fish can become but an inconvenient distraction.
LSR today. Boy was it a slog! Shortest long run for 6 weeks, as 14M, but felt much longer! Oddly, Strava has me down as doing a 44s 400m at one point! There's a blip in the trace that looks like a did a bit teleportation!
Bus - still a decently long one. If there's any time of year you can skimp the long run down it has to be now surely? Without any prospect of a long distance race for 3-4months? I think someone said similar to me at Endure, where it had locked me doing something ridiculous like 51secs for 400m somewhere on the offroad route!
For a few reasons, supposed very hot day, 5k race Tue, and aware that I've leapt from 32.5miles week 1 after endure, to what would be high 50s this week, I decided i'd "set out for 10", and see how it went.
One of the few days of the year I went out with a water on the go. And the first half was hot!
Bizarrely, at "midway", which I'd presumed was the 5.5mile mark (added a half mile bit on at the furthest out bit), it turned a bit cooler with a right old breeze.
So much so that by 10.5 I knew I had to go to 12 as no excuse...
so 12, 7.09 job. Fairly standard.
Bit tight near end, so will keep it easy til the race, with a mere 3 runs
Comments
That has to be one of all the time best posts on this thread.
I'm not sure what's my favourite bit.
- Describing 7min miling downhill as being so ferocious a pace you couldn't stop.
- Booting some dog in the face
- Having a continual full on scuffle with some midget for 20mins.
- Presumably shirtless the whole time
Just marvellousWOW! I just happened to write "dog, midget and scuffle" into google, and found a link to dogwalkersworld.com, and found this account below!!!
I had a totally bizarre runner rage incident tonight on my way home tonight. Wa;lking my dog on a public footpath I spotted a guy storming downhill at what must have been a furious 7min miling or something. Tall fella he was, bronzen, shirtless. Basically pure homo-erotic glory.
I moved to one side, as he stormed past, shouting a threatening sounding "evening" to me, making sure to warn him about my dog - he's old you see and gets worried at ferocious paced moving things. He had headphones on, and an expression that smacked of "don't look at what you can't keep up with son".
He stormed past my poor Alfie, who not unreasonably had come looking for me, and was surprised to encounter this pacy young man, greeting him with a friendly nuzzling of his toes.
This super aggressive tall shirtless guy then started booting poor Alfie in the face, screaming "take that son, don't you know who I am, I'm the legend they call a Bus".
I walked over to gently ask that he stopped booting my poochie, but instead he kicked him into the next field, screamed "THREE POINTS" and came for me!
I was scared I must admit, as I'm a short fella, and this guy must have been a whopping 5ft 6. Tanned, like adonis, he clearly works out.
I tried to calm him down, but he just kept wrestling me, asking me "who's the daddy" and tickling me, while I tried to plead that I was within my rights to walk my poochie in the field, and tellin me that he was gonna get some guy called "Ric" on me, who apparently would tell me what I'm doing wrong in my life.
After an exchange of words, with him telling me that he's within his rights to "boot any dog that even looks at me, into dodge", I took off downhill towards the road.
He found this quite funny, and then started after me down the hill shouting something about "big boy wants seconds"
I pleaded with him some more to calm down, but even trying to gently restrain him into a gate didn't work, and I couldn't get a proper grip, as his sweaty tanned body was glistening too much in the sun. He dragged me into the road, and told me in very outdoor language that I was a "bleeping wrongun", and then booted me and my dog over the gate.
I learnt a lesson that day - don't mess with runners!
as much as enjoyed watching Simon grapple against the horrid 3k distance and the HAIR (tie it up!), Bus that’s one of the funniest things I’ve really ever read!!
Just a couple of inaccuracies I feel obliged to correct in "his" version (and your summary) though- 7 min miling IS ferocious down THAT hill (might have been slower as well - garmin reckons about 7.30!!!!).
More importantly, I am 5 foot 7 and 3/4 dontcha know!!! I used to be 5' "8 (and believe it or not, that was average height in 1988!) but I'm shrinking with age and/or relentless pounding of my legs!
He was definitely right about the shirtless, bronzen, Adonis-like sweaty body though I also suspect the Avon Skin So Soft sprayed liberally all over me made his grip even trickier (it's to keep ticks away - honest guv )
As an almost equally bizarre aside, it was in exactly the same field where I once saw local legend Fabian Downes think better of messing with a herd of skittish bulls and do a 180 deg turn back to run up the road instead! You'd think HE could have outrun them!
Quality response SG; proving again you should be a journo of some sort you are so entertaining with the written word.
Now to mundane stuff (well not compared to me, but to the SG/Bus posts) great 3000 Simon (even by your exalted standards) and nice progressive tempo MH.
Just ticking over myself this week. 2 day jaunt to Alton Towers now with the teenage daughter but hopefully we take in the cool named The Wammy parkrun Saturday morning, as staying nr Stoke with my sis. Your old stamping ground Simon. Dean if you still read this forum have you done that one yet?
Hilarious Bus / SG.
Have fun Pete. Not done The Wammy but I'm also doing a relatively new one Saturday: Tetbury Goods Shed. Only event#7. That's my wu for Leg 7 of Cotswold Way Relay at 1pm - could get very sweaty. I'm also marshalling a road crossing in between so a busy day coming up. I've done 5, 8+3.3, 6.6, 7.6+6.4 so far this week & planning 5M at lunch tomorrow then Saturday's racing should tip me over 50M in 6 days too so highest week since April!
Here's the Leg 7 profile!
If only you were wearing a GoPro, Bus. The footage would've gone viral!
That's some profile Jools!!
Bus - The missus actually knows the son of one of the UK's most famous dwarves - Rusty Goffe. He does some field events for Bedford & County.
See, there's lots of interesting stuff about me you don't know, like I once snogged a girl with one leg. But lets leave that to the pub
SW - Yes, 8x1km aint something I'd be trying for 5k pace. Peaking for 10k yes.
Jools - that looks a ridiculously devised course. Who thought bunging that massive dip and rise in midway was giggles?
Followed the consensus on here, and went for the 4x1mile progressions then - well, ok 1600s (I thought about Phil pointing out it's key to be clear on the diffo, back in circa 2013 or so I think that was!)
I like this sesh, as it gives you license to be fairly "relaxed", and not get too caught up in splits, like other reps and sessions might be.
I went for a vague idea of start at TMP, 6ish, 1.30 laps, and get quicker each rep.
Taking lap splits, and then painstakingly adding them up gives me (with what the mile would be in brackets - ie add 2 seconds!)
5.58 (6.00)
5.52 (5.54)
5.49 (5.51)
5.44 (5.42)
So that was what I needed. I liked how seamlessly I upped things when needed for rep 4. Despite turning up and thinking "are my legs tired", "is it a bit windy"
What I didn't need was an old fashioned utter stomach meltdown in the last 600, but I got the last 400 off at 1.23 so was happy enough
Future plans then...how does this look?
- Sat - Relay, 3.5mile offroad leg
Tue - choice of 3 - have to decide.We're running out of options for the latter two - doesn't help they pick the same dates - and after this date, there's just one version left in August.
All 3 of the above races are "good solid workout" jobs, rather than aiming to smash times - although Rose Inn I'd be fairly guaranteed a 4 mile pb - with mine sitting at 24.20 from 2008!
The relay especially is offroad, has a decent hill early on, and is always a ferociously hot day - magnificently timed to be at the peak temps 12-2pm! I'm always a little concerned at potential "wipe out" factor in this one, having come close in 2017!! That was the dreaded long leg though, this is a new "slightly longer than the short leg" job that everyone does this year rather than the long-short split.
Only small problem, is where to fit the actual sessions in to improve pace - rather than smashing the races in - but we'll have to use these to help things along!
A lovely chocolate lab ran out of some bushes to chase back to its owner on my run last night. I couldn’t stop in time and trod on the poor things paw and it yelped. I stopped, gave it a stroke and took it back to its owner explaining what had happened and to watch for any reaction in the paw. It was a civil and friendly exchange
Why bring me into it?
🙂
I shall smear my legs in dog-repellant tonight though (rather than tick repellant!). Hopefully it will be boringly incident free
I never seem to be troubled by dogs. Just lucky I suppose. Years back, a friend of mine was running up a footpath off road, when he was confronted by a couple of Pit Bulls escaped from some scrapyard outfit.
He escaped by vaulting over a close wired fence into a space filled entirely by stinging nettles.
The gravity of the situation was brought home to me when he told me, he never felt a thing!
🙂
One of a small number of breeds that you pray you never come across like that.
That nettle situation I experienced very similar back in 99.
First year Uni - vague plan to meet with a mate for some footy playing. Mysterious car just round the corner from my place. I looked to see if it was my pal - it wasn't but I obviously stared too long, as the guys shouted "yes, we're doing drugs".
I carried on, one last look back...furious thrashing of engine starting...
Sprinted round the corner, and jumped into some bushes off the road - as the car flew by.
Couple of mins later - looked down, am in the middle of a tonneload of nettles, legs covered in the white marks... didn't feel them for about 20mins.
Oh my word they stung then!
Occasionally wonder what would have happened If I hadn't run!!
I chose the nettles. Sure they stung, but the after effects meant I felt ill for a few hours after.
Right then. Running. 20 miles done this morning. Finished before 10:00 am. That follows the 20 miler I did on Tuesday.
That should cover the endurance for a while.
🙂
Warm and windy session on the grass at Wrest park yesterday. 8 x 800 with 90. Started off on a 2.33 as didn’t have a warm up, then got them down to 2.30 and a 2.24 to finish. Felt good as it was quite warm.
Then in we all went en masses to Watford to watch the BMC Grand Prix. Some really good performances and quite a few folk there to say hi to. Reminds me how long I’ve been in the running game!
Long run to Luton in a bit to watch the Luton 5 mile race, couple of birthday beers after.
I knew a Simon Coombes when I fished Tring back in the 80's. For a while I wondered if it was one and the same. Clearly not - for a start, you are taller.
Fishing. Not many activities where dossing about for hours on end can count as doing something.
Within the business, boredom never seems to come into it. But I can see how it can. From the outside, it looks pointless.
However, with all the home comforts available on the bank, some guys take full advantage of the situation. Behind the locked gates of private fisheries they can have as much drink, drugs and extra curricular women they can muster without fear of detection or censure.
At times, for some, the catching of fish can become but an inconvenient distraction.
I preferred to just catch.
🙂
Happy bismark SC2!
Bus - still a decently long one. If there's any time of year you can skimp the long run down it has to be now surely? Without any prospect of a long distance race for 3-4months? I think someone said similar to me at Endure, where it had locked me doing something ridiculous like 51secs for 400m somewhere on the offroad route!
For a few reasons, supposed very hot day, 5k race Tue, and aware that I've leapt from 32.5miles week 1 after endure, to what would be high 50s this week, I decided i'd "set out for 10", and see how it went.
One of the few days of the year I went out with a water on the go. And the first half was hot!
Bizarrely, at "midway", which I'd presumed was the 5.5mile mark (added a half mile bit on at the furthest out bit), it turned a bit cooler with a right old breeze.
So much so that by 10.5 I knew I had to go to 12 as no excuse...
so 12, 7.09 job. Fairly standard.
Bit tight near end, so will keep it easy til the race, with a mere 3 runs