guy: 'can i get a 3pack of condoms, it might be my lucky night'
pharmacist: 'whys that son?'
Guy: 'well im going to girlfriends parents house for tea tonight, i think her mom and twin sister fancy me too. well in for a top night'
that night at the dinner table sure enough girlfriend, mom and twin sister all flirting like mad with, footsie under the table, gentle brushes of hands across the table. all going well when at that moment the dad walks in says hello to guy and sits down smiling to carve meat.
Guy bows his head and starts praying
Girlfriend impressed, says to Guy 'i didnt know you were religious'
Comments
A :Acne only comes on boys faces after the age of 12.
What do you call a lesbian from India?
Minjeata.
Why is lesbian sex like cheap furniture?
It's all tongue and groove.
I told my wife her bikini was too small and much too revealing.
She told me if I felt like that I should wear something else....
Two fat blokes sitting in the pub.
One says to the other "Your round."
The other one says "And so are you - you fat b@st@rd!"
What did the constipated math's teacher do?
He worked it out with a pencil.
guy walks into a pharmacist.
guy: 'can i get a 3pack of condoms, it might be my lucky night'
pharmacist: 'whys that son?'
Guy: 'well im going to girlfriends parents house for tea tonight, i think her mom and twin sister fancy me too. well in for a top night'
that night at the dinner table sure enough girlfriend, mom and twin sister all flirting like mad with, footsie under the table, gentle brushes of hands across the table. all going well when at that moment the dad walks in says hello to guy and sits down smiling to carve meat.
Guy bows his head and starts praying
Girlfriend impressed, says to Guy 'i didnt know you were religious'
Guy: I didnt know your dad was a PHARMACIST
People in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones,
But the people in Abu Dhabi doo .
Doctor, can you help me, there's a strawberry stuck up my bum?
Don't worry, I've got some cream for that!
Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local Kids.
I won!
No one's a match for me and my kettle.
Doctor Doctor, I am addicted to wearing transparent underpants.
Well Mr Jones, I can clearly see you're nuts!
Doctor doctor, I've got wind, can you give me something?
Yes, here's a kite!
2 men working in a mortuary.
The first one says "That dead woman in the mortuary has got a prawn between her leg."
The second one says "That's not a prawn, it's a clitoris."
To which the first one replies "Well, it tastes like a prawn!"
Whats brown and sticky?
Mel B and Posh Spice.
for some crocodile rock
heard that of Tony Blackburn last week
Where do fish go to keep their money?
The river bank
<I'll get me coat>
Why has Captain Kirk got 3 ears?
He's got a left ear.....
He's got a right ear......
And he's got a.........................
.
.
.
................................................................................final frontier!
<okay I'm going now>
Rickster
There's something a bit uneasy about your take on humour!
I was talking to a mouth organ the other day. Afemale mouth organ walked up to him.
I said "Do you know her?"
To which he replied "Yeah, that's our Monica."
Three Pakistani cricket players accused of involvement in fixing scandal.
Just when we thought they couldn't sink any lower...