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x post TT. Keep your pecker up lovey.
It's unlikely we'll get the house of our dreams on the budget we've got. We're just hoping to get back on the property ladder. Just been talking to an estate agent and feel dirty now - he was sooo sleezy and cheesy and just yuk yuk yuk! I would put estate agents in the same bracket as *ankers!
oh poor S, MM. hope she is ok now.
((TT)) - sounds like a true stress dream if ever there was one!
lol at feeling 'dirty' after talking to agent. but i do know what you mean, PP. there have been few estate agents that i have liked when dealing with them. and recruitment agents are pretty much the same really!!
no running for me today as am planning to run tomorrow, Sat and Sun and have already run every day this week, so though i would have a day off today.
so instead of skiving for a run while i am supposed to be working, i'm going to skive and pick J up from school and take him to his swimming lesson instead.
but first i should get some lunch...
((TT)) it's horrible when you have realistic (ish) dreams like that.
CM - ditto what everyone else has said about hubby, insert own insulting rude words!
MM - poor Sophie, Nicholas had his first ones yesterday and was so good he barely cried. Must be used to needles
. He's got his check-up at the hospital tomorrow, fingers crossed his heart is looking better...
Sophie woke up with croup again last night, hubby rang NHS Direct just to be sure although we were pretty sure that's what it was. She calmed down after a while and stopped wheezing so much, and doesn't seem too bad today though I've kept her off playgroup because of all the new babies there at the moment.
We may have just had a breakthrough with the potty. We went to Tesco this morning and while we were there I saw some Peppa Pig pants so I said "shall we get you some big girl pants for when you don't wear nappies anymore" etc etc. She clearly liked this idea, and this morning had also requested a disposable rather than a washable which is the first time she's questioned wearing a nappy, and dressed her bear in a nappy for the first time. Anyway I sat her on the potty after lunch and left her to it for a while, and she suddenly came sprinting to the top of the stairs shouting "Mummy I did a wee wee in the potty!" with a massive grin on her face
. So I said is there a poo coming and she said yes "got to wait for poo coming" so sat there for an age longer until I gave up and put her to bed, which she didn't really want to do. Obviously then she did a poo in her nappy but I clearly heard her over the monitor "there's a poo coming now" but I was too late sprinting upstairs!
So who knows, maybe we'll try the rest of the day without a nappy and see what happens... I just know/knew that once she sets her mind on something there's no going back - CM - reminds me a bit of J refusing to wear nappies anymore.
The only trouble is, she tends to do a poo after lunch either soon after going down for a nap while playing in her room, or (I assume) when she wakes up. So without ditching the nap altogether I'm not sure how to get round that one. Saying that though she hasn't slept during the day for the last 2 days!
Sorry bit of a long one there! Oh and last night I went swimming! First time post baby and first exercise in months
Hubby gave N what I'd expressed plus some "reserves" from the freezer.
What a horrible dream TTid. Must admit I hadn't thought through what would happen to LB if we both popped our clogs.
CM You are dealing with a bully and they don't like it if they don't get their own way so I say stand your ground - say you expect him to pay half the mortgage or you will divorce him and then go through with it if he doesn't cough up.
MM Awww - I remember the trauma of taking LB for his jabs - his little innocent eyes welling up when the nasty lady stuck the needle in him.
PP I'm sure you'll find someone to give you a mortgage.
Good luck with the poo JG!
I'm like you JohBo. I'm a member of Dulwich Runners but I've not been down to the club for a run since 2001! Hope the zoo was good. We took LB to London Zoo last week. Thanks to a coupon in the Guardian, we only paid for one adult (the other was free and so was LB as he is under 3). Nice day out.
Yve/Kinsey Must give Kew Gardens a go, by the sound of it (we've not been since before LB was born).
Karen I'd have thought a 10k race seven days before a HM would be OK.
Catchment areas - we're in an area with no good local authority schools. Looks like we'll be moving afore long...
It's our fourth wedding anniversary today. Must make something tasty for dinner.
We did our wills after we had Martha to make sure that everyone knows what we want to happen in the event of anything happening to us.
TT - I know how you feel, I had an awful dream last week in which I left the children in a department store and when I went back Aidan had an awful head injury. Made me feel ill for a couple of days.
kinsey - hope you and aidan are both feeling a bit better
JG - not what you needed with S in the night really!! but well done on swimming and on getting out there and doing it!
R_B - happy wedding anniversary!
j30 for the tredegar one? how does THAT make sense?! i think newport planners are just in denial about the logistics of it all. everyone knows that all it takes is a tractor to break down on the SDR, or a lorry to jacknife at j24 and the whole of Newport grinds to a halt!! and yet apparently we are supposed to believe that there will be no disruption and the M4 will flow freely. hahahahahahaha!!!!
E still thumping away in her cot. she is being a monkey at the moment and won't go to sleep at lunchtime till about 2pm. consequently she has an hour till 3pm and then won't go to sleep in the evenings. but she's not yet 19 months so i'm darned if i am dropping her nap yet!!!!! WHY don't i get kids who nap in the day? J was the same. grrrrrrrrr! i have always always always put her in her cot for naps (did the same with J) and yet from about 18 months on both of them have had other ideas about lunchtime naps.
TT, that's horrid. Yes, I worry about J being left alone as well. As well as fretting that something nasty might happen to him...
EF, bad luck with AF, hope this month is better.
The zoo was lovely, £22 for year's season ticket, J's little arms and legs going, really sweet.
Did over 5m tonight in sub8 mm, but pulled something in my bum
MM, hope S is ok now, poor thing.
JT - E is dynamo-babe, though. She just keeps going and going. I suspect she would be happy with a 10 min nap in the car every day and that would see her through. I am not going there though!! I need her down for an hour in the afternoon so that I get some breathing space!!! I doubt she will rediscover her need for a long nap, but for as long as she is not screaming the place down, i shall just leave her in her cot i think! She was tired this morning and I think that was because she didn't go to sleep until later last night, but still wakes as normal.
Still don't understand how coming off at J30 helps you get to the Tredegar roundabout at J28? The road back to J28 from Cardiff isn't very good is it? Is it even dual carriageway? I know the majority of people WON'T be coming from the West, but even so...
Been sobbing this morning as T picked the kids up for the weekend. I am supposed to be seeing them on Sun afternoon for an hour or so, but of course he won't commit to when. His mum and sister are down (funny how his mum seems to come down - to S Wales from Newcastle!! - every weekend he has the kids. Might that be because she doesn't think he will cope with them!??!). But because they are down, he doesn't want to tell me when i can see the kids. I should be getting them on Sun night but he is away with work for most of next week, so if i had them Sun night, i would have them 6 out of 7 nights that week. So I have suggested that he can have them on Sun night BUT I want to see them on Sun afternoon. So he has grabbed the night without giving me any time that I can see them. And to make up for the fact that I have them most of the week, I am giving him 24 hours with them on MY weekend next weekend. So I feel like I am giving (as I did last weekend when it was his bday) but getting nothing.
I am beginning to think I loathe the man, which is not helpful as I have to work closely with him over the kids for the rest of my life (probably!).
N very rarely naps in the day (gave it up around 10 months) - he is exhausting! He is however STILL asleep at the moment so I'm going to have to go wake him in a moment as we need to go out!
Must read back later - this thread moves way too fast fo me!
EF - meant to say boo to AF
Maybe next month...
CM - what a pain with E and naps, I remember Sophie being quite troublesome for a while, I think it might have been when going from 2 naps to 1. Lol at dynamobabe! Hope you manage to make the most of your free time even though I would be exactly the same as you and sobbing into the closed front door ((())) I don't blame you for loathing the man!
Happy anniversary R_B!
Hmm well after all that she was so dopey after her nap that she showed no interest in taking her nappy off or using the potty whatsoever, so that idea went straight out the window! And she's at the childminder today while I take Nicholas to the hospital for his check-up so no chance for me to try today.
Feel quite nervous about N's hospital visit today, we'll see how his heart's recovering and whether he still has this slight leaky valve (mitral regurgitation to those in the know!). That reminds me, I need to write a list of questions I want to ask.
Sigh, I should be tidying up not sitting here and I think N is going to start crying any minute!
ARGH - just lost a long post because my cursor wandered up to the back button on IE and i hit backspace to delete a letter and it took me back a page! ARGH!!
(JG) - hope hospital is ok. is hubby going with you? sure N will be doing well as he has been much better since you got his diagnosis. but i understand your uneasiness.
yes - i was sobbing into the closed door and also into J's hair when i was kissing him goodbye. made sure he didn't see the tears. but he did say 'i am going to miss you SO much, mummy', which really didn't help.
nearly had a disaster this morning with E and her nappy. went in to get her up and she was standing up in her cot and had stripped herself off and was tugging at her nappy because she had done a poo. a few more seconds and i think she would have had it off!!! she first got a disposable nappy off when she was 4 months old - she must have raked at the tabs with her fingers and kept rolling and eventually it loosened and she pulled it off. i went in to get her up from a nap and she was lying on her back with her nappy over her head!! but this time (THANK GOD!!) she was standing up, so she hadn't quite figured out what to do. but she would have got there, and then imagine what it would have been like.
CM - hopefully you will end up with a workable plan sooner rather than later. Very churlish of him not to give him a time when you are giving him an extra night.
From my memories I really don't remember my mum and dad having much contact at visit time, especially once we could get the bus to see my dad on our own! Admittedly we were about 8 and 6 when they split up.
Joh - good news about the naps! I'm not loving the fact that Martha isn't napping in the afternoon now.
Tipping down here - very gloomy!
CM, I'm amazed at how strong and rational you're being. You sound like you're putting everything into keeping things steady for the kids. And getting nothing back from him. It doesn't sound like he's prepared to be accommodating or compromising at all, so perhaps it's time - outwith the mediation - to seek some professional advice on what your rights/legalities are & perhaps draw up a plan of what you want in terms of custody etc.
IIRC, the law in England is something along the lines of 6 months of separation can be contested on the grounds of Irretrievable breakdown & if you've been living separately and trying mediation then you have good authority for claiming that it's irretrievable without having to go into who did what to whom. I believe Citizens Advice can give you some pointers - even if only in the direction of legal advice that won't cost much. (I think you can get legal aid for divorce in some circumstances, but only for part of the cost).
Saw a child walking to school in uniform today - WITH A DUMMY IN ITS MOUTH!!! Need I say more..........
thanks, roslyn. we have both seen solicitors separately (don't qualify for legal aid unfortunately) and without it going to court, the only contact arrangements that we can agree on is a straight down the line 50/50 split. T says he wants residency (as it is now called - not custody) and he thinks I am not a fit mother, but he knows that in practice courts would probably not tend to rule in his favour (as the kids are so young, and i have been the primary carer as i have worked part time and had periods of maternity leave with them etc). so he is agreeing to a 50/50 split of the kids but i will get no more than that from him without going 'legal'.
we have only been separated for a month and we would need to be separated for 2 years and both agree to a divorce at that point if we wanted to use separation. otherwise one of us has to petition for a divorce against the other one; and he has said he will contest any petition from me on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour. and because he does not want a divorce, he will not petition against me.
part of me is now thinking that, whilst the courts would be more likely to rule in my favour now, it may be worth going for residency now. if i leave it a few years and he then decides to go for residency, he may be more likely to get it... and, frankly, i don't want to spend 50% of my life without the kids. but then i don't suppose he wants that either... he didn't want us to separate in the first place, so i do accept that it is harder for him. and i don't want to force him to have long periods of time without the kids either. but i am still trapped because i cannot leave the area and move elsewhere to get a job which would be more predictable and better for family life because i need to be in the vicinity so that we can share the children 50/50 - so i have to stay in newport., where i have no close friends and no family.
the last thing i want to do is look back in 5 years time and think i sold the children short by being a coward and not fighting their father for them...
I'm loving the transition from baby to toddler to little person. She just has so much character, I love being able to talk to her, reason with her (sort of!) and I'm really looking forward to her being out of nappies just so she doesn't have a big bulky bum anymore! i've loved every stage really (well, from 6m onwards) and have never wished she was still a baby.
Just been on a house visit to deepest, darkest Dagenham - makes you appreciate where you live and what you've got going to places like that. House was a dump, beer bottles, rubbish, filth, bare floor boards - not the type of place you'd ever really want to go home to.
CM - I just really don't get people like your ex. It's just odd, as he can't be happy with how he behaves and I just don't get how he can't see the bigger picture and what's best in the long run for everyone.
caro - am with you on the baby thing! i really can't stand babies. they make me feel soooo anxious!
but just you wait until M runs off into her first solo swimming lesson on her own without as much as a backward glance. for some reason, it was the swimming lesson - not school - that got me. i suppose i was used to handing over at the classroom door thing from pre-school, and already knew i wouldn't get a goodbye from J. but he has never been swimming without either me or his dad. so to see him standing waiting for the teacher to tell him he could go through and then just sprinting off without even saying goodbye... i was quite taken aback. and we can't watch the lessons either - so he was going off blind into something. i was surprised at how that made me feel. suddenly i felt i was losing part of him because swimming was always something we had done together, and now he was off doing it on his own with another teacher and i wasn't even watching. and of course can i get anything out of him about what he does in the lesson? of course not!!!!
so i suppose i can understand parents feeling like they are 'losing' parts of their kids as they grow up and tackle their adventures on their own. and i do miss silly little things about J as a toddler (like the way he would call giraffes 'necks' and sing 'the animals went in two da two, da-wah da-wah' but now he sings the right words and it is just plain WRONG!!).
but i don't ever want a baby - EVER AGAIN!!!
at 6.55am this morning I had my ear to the door as M was singing a mashed up combo of wind the bobbin up and the hokey kokey. I could have stood there for hours....it was sooo sweet. I didn't dislike the baby stage, and am looking forward to going through it all again one day, but she really was very colicky and cried for alot of the first 6m of her life, so it was easier after that.
I love how at nursery she just runs in happily - she's normally the first one there (7.30 on the dot - mean Mummy!) she runs in, hangs up her coat, sits down at the table, and within 1 minute is happily tucking into breakfast. I have no idea whether we'd be allowed to watch swimming once they're on their own - but there is a huge spectators gallery, and the foyer has a large glass window looking onto the pool. the only way they'd be able to stop you really would be to tell you to close your eyes for half an hr, as you have to stay on the premises. I am assuming that by the time she's old enough to have lessons on her own I'll have a little one to worry about, so it will be a good thing that mummy no longer has to get in the water, otherwise there'd be no swimming.
Am getting myself on the e mail databases for various large vet companies so that I can do extra weekend work once hubby is unemployed in about 3 wks time. I'm trying to be positive and look at it that even if I work every weekend, (plus the Thurs/Fri I do anyway) we'll all be at home Mon, Tues and Wed so that can be like our 'weekend' as a family. The one thing I absolutely refuse to do is work nights, no way! We also gave notice to our cleaner yesterday - she was pretty useless to be honest so it was actually quite good to have a legitimate reason to get rid of her rather than make something up!
Today I went to a coffee morning and J was sitting up completely by himself for ages. I was so proud!!
Just been to collect marathon number for Sunday. Plan is still to run 10k with buggy and drop out, unless feel v strong and want to carry on. Think not though.
CM sound to me like you can see that you petitioning would be best for you and the kids in the ling run. I would be worried your husband would try and screw you over later on, but that's just me and I'm a worrier!!