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How do you know when a guy is committed to you?

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    A new Audi?  Something similar happened here as well JC...  nice lights though, eh?  Just like Crimbo lights.  image  It is a gorgeous car...  best not start me on that subject though...
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    UnknownUnknown

    I also mentioned that I hadn't been sleeping that well this week and he seemed genuinely concerned and asked what he could do to help me sleep better. Haven't really seen his caring side before.

    Yikes....maybe he has been reading this.....image

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]

    Find myself agreeing with you again Blondie, that whole seeking approval thing on everything, so claustophobic.

    For a boy I'm not much of a toys person but do like to go out for the occasional run image

    Good luck AL, hope it all works out for you whatever you decide

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    sure it wasn't a wrong number?  image
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    UnknownUnknown
    Coops10 wrote (see)
    Send the list if you like, but it takes a certain woman to put up with me, as you can imagine! image
    well from what you said it only takes 20 seconds to put up with you!!!image
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    Coops10Coops10
    I like to be modest........
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    it's possible he had to say goodbye to someone previous to you AL, so was biding his time.  image
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    UnknownUnknown

    I think Coops is right in that he is afraid of committment.

    And as I have kids he needs to tread more carefully too, I don't want involve anyone in their lives that isn't prepared to stick around and value them as well.

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    Johnny BlazeJohnny Blaze ✭✭✭

    The acid test:

    Him: Can I see you on saturday night?

    Her: Yes, but its the start of big knicker week so bear it in mind

    Him:  fair enough, should I bring round a takeaway?

    If this happens, grab him with both hands, he is a diamond.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] ✭✭✭
    AL just out of interest what was his response when you picked him up on some of the stuff he'd spouted previously?  image
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I am always amazed that men take on other people's children.  I'd have to think twice before taking on another man's children, unless they were quite grown up..  My sister has a lovely new man who committed to her and her two daughters.  They've had a right rocky year, but they are so committed, it's lovely to see them out of the other side now and settling down nicely. 
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    Johnny BlazeJohnny Blaze ✭✭✭

    Its all about give and take ATEOTD innit?

    Sometimes you have to surrender something to gain a bigger thing.

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    Johnny BlazeJohnny Blaze ✭✭✭
    ps where's Buney?image She always posts on threads like this at this time of night.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Sleep well AL.  I bet you will now.  image
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    UnknownUnknown

    Nam, he agreed that they were sweeping generalistaions and should have thought about them more. They weren't great comments I agree. Haven't been anymore since we had that conversation.image

    Blondiee, yes thanks, I did sleep better. And I agree that its a huge thing about men taking on anothers children. I'm just hoping I will find someone who will embrace me and them.image Nice about your sister.

    Last night I asked him if he wanted to our town's late night shopping next week. (Which is not the usual late night shopping believe me. The main road is closed to cars and there are lots of stalls and street food, mulled wine, choirs, street preformers, music etc.) But he said he'll think about it....so I guess thats another 'NO' then!!!

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Following on from Kitten...if you meet a person who has not had children, but wants them and you don't, you may well develop relationship problems.  My sister's chap had no children (so there is hope AL) but he desperately wanted children, so at the age of 43 (!) my sister had a baby..  she says it is the best thing she ever did.
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    UnknownUnknown
    kittenkat wrote (see)

    I haven't read all this but I still have the gut feeling that the kids are going to be an issue in the long term. It is very hard to be in a relationship with someone who has young children.

    However, for someone who has not had children, it is a huge lifestyle change as we all remember when we had our first.

    Yes, even I find other kids exhausting and like it when their parents come to pick them up. I know he didn't set out to date a woman with her own kids already. He's already said he'd like to have his own kids.

    I know its a huge thing to ask from a guy but it does happen, like Blondiee's sister and JC and others on here!!!

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    UnknownUnknown

    a baby at 43...wow.

    If I have anymore kids it would have to be with someone exceptional and I'd have to feel that its a lifetime committment to each other and the kid.

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    Johnny BlazeJohnny Blaze ✭✭✭

    There are men out there who will commit to bringing up children from another marriage AL.

    I'm one of them.

    My "stepson" graduates this year and he's been my son since he was 5. He is way more well adjusted than I was at his age (or than I am now come to think of it).

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    UnknownUnknown

    Thats brilliant JC, I can only hope to meet someone that will feel that way about me and mine!image

    Btw what happend to your sons' biological dad wanting to come to graduation?

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    Johnny BlazeJohnny Blaze ✭✭✭

    He didn't reply to his dad.

    There were too many potential complications - it was Jonny's decision but I'm quite happy he didn't take him up on it.

    It would probably have ruined my day to have the shiftless so-and-so turn up and bask in the reflected glory when he had done nothing to help his son or even contact him for the last 16 years..

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    UnknownUnknown
    good, I'm glad thats worked out for you all!image
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    AL I'm also thinking of this receptionist at the pool where I swim.  Have been using that pool for 14 years...and she has been working there all this time.  During this time, she's divorced, found a new man, and had a baby at the age of (I'm guessing here) about 48 I'd guess?  Now that is one heck of a decision to be making at 48, but again, she is blissfully happy. 
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    Jose.Jose. ✭✭✭

    OK, Enough is enough even for you, bunch of "well-intentioned" agony aunties

    He is not even her boyfriend and now you are talking of stepfathering and their own kids...

    You can scare Lucifer himself with all that talking.

    They are in the oh ah! yes yes ohhh yesss type of relationship. Let it be!!! and let the poor guy to enjoy it (I heard Arctic Lady is a very sexy lady) and let AL to enjoy some "free range" uncommitted sex.

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    Johnny BlazeJohnny Blaze ✭✭✭

    Free Range?

    You mean like chickens?

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    UnknownUnknown

    Mmmm, yes, the only happy relationships I know where a man has married another woman with kids is where they have gone on to have their own together. That seems to be the give and take of it.

    The only case I can think of where they don't have kids together is due to the fact they he can't have babies.

    At first I thought there is NO way I would have anymore kids and start all over again but maybe with the right  man and with loads of love it would seem a beautiful and natural thing to do. I don't know. But I am more open to that now.

    I guess it would be asking to much for a great man to have me and my kids and not have any of his own in return!!!

    KK, I can imagine it was hard for you having a stepdad. Glad to hear its fine now though.image

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