Windy Runs

fat buddha

should have some interesting poo soon then. the wind is the precursor I believe

fat face

thats already started. I best not travel far then.

fat buddha

should be plenty of imodium about here though in case

fat face

Looks like no-one else is interested in bottie coughs anymore FBF.

I used to have a dog that could fart louder than I could. He had this habit of farting as he walked down the street. I used to get a lot of dirty looks from passers-by.

fat buddha

my dog was very much the silent but deadly type. the best was in my office, lying below mrs fbf's desk and letting fly with a real stinker. we were both on the phone to clients - she was trying to waft the stink away, I just burst out laughing and had to explain all to the client who I fortunately knew well.

Gavo

Always reckon that a veggie diet gives a particular smell to one's produced wind. Fortunately have been working on my own for a couple of weeks so freedom has reigned.

And there's nowt like a deserted path on a training run to let rip. And to run occasionally as well.

fat face

I have a tendancy to let rip on the treadmill whilst wearing my mini-disc and not really realising just quite how loud it was. It's a good way of getting rid of smelly gits who stink of B.O.

[Deleted User]

(Sl)FF

At least it was a dog that had a habit of farting as it walked down the street.

I've got a mother-in-law that does it!!

HH

Chaos

I can recommend a pint of "Cwrw Haf" from South Wales if you are lacking inspiration in the amusing anal noises department. Just wafted back from holiday there.

Gavo

Harvey's from Sussex also works. As does a vat of Guinness.

fat buddha

on the subject of letting rip whilst running - mrs fbf finds it quite amazing that I can do this as she can't (or says she can't). she keeps asking me how I manage to do this - and I just explain it just happens. usually rips in bits rather than a full blown phaaaaarp though and because of this can go on for some strides.

the stinky treadmill ones do elicit interesting looks as you merrily plod you way concentrating on the TV screen trying not to laugh or choke.

fat buddha

gavo - I reckon you are becoming a bit of a Harveys fan!! tis good for gaseous emissions but still way out in front in my view is draught Bass. not only volume but smell as well - usually sulpherous due to the water around Burton.

[Deleted User]

Mrs HH also maintains that she is unable to fart whilst running, though she manages the most explosive belches you could imagine. Oh what a match made in heaven we are.

BTW - Chaos - judging by your new picture you've had a bit of a hard time of it recently ;-)

Gavo

Certainly am becoming a fan fbf! Try to avoid Bass as many pubs can mess it up.

When running, I'm also more of a bits man - 1 per step sometimes. Can't beat a solid rip though.

Thought that women didn't fart......?

iron fraggle

must be a bloke thing, I too can belch for england when I'm running but can't fart! Not of course that I'd do so anyway, as us ladies don't do that sort of thing........

fat buddha

......much

Chaos

Sadly yes, an accidental raising of the duvet cover without my gas mask on left my body in deep shock. I shall have to investigate suitable rectal tubing to avoid this dangerous possibility in the future. God knows what could happen...

Gavo

...good in the winter to warm the toes though.

[Deleted User]

Let me assure you that it is NOT just a bloke thing. However, at the end of a long run it requires a very well-developed ability to tell whether or not the substance demanding expulsion is entirely gaseous.

Gavo

I don't follow (through) V-rap. What are you on about?

[Deleted User]

When you get home and say "who's been putting peas and sweetcorn in my shorts?" Or so I have been told.

[Deleted User]

Or when you think, "What luck. I forgot I stored that Cadbury's Picnic bar down there". Or so I too have been told

fat buddha

but v-rap - can you fart whilst running? that's the nub of it - on a small sample it seems that men can but wimmin can't. anybody can do it when stationary.

[Deleted User]

Ahaa, a subject I'm an expert on! Having IBS (gas type) I'm never far from a fart be they 'bench warmers' or 'phuts'. However, what about PB's for duration? My stationary record is 28 secs (albeit a deliberately controlled exit)whilst running it is a less impressive 12 secs made up of several bursts in sequence with footfall!

Game on peeps!

JTP

[Deleted User]

Can't say I've ever timed my expulsions. I am quite proficient at drawing out the ones whilst stationary though. My particular speciality is the one that sounds like a mad wasp in a baked bean tin!!

[Deleted User]

My speciality is the one that sounds like an F1 car whizzing by!

[Deleted User]

Yes. I can. The jet propulsion makes it easier for me to run faster for a while to put as much distance as possible between the fart and my bottom.

XFR Bear

Doesn't really work on a treadmill though Vrap.

fat buddha

jake - are you related to le petomane? at the start of the 20th century he made a lving out of farting tunes on stage.

fat face

I'm so glad I boinged this thread!!

In my badminton playing days, during the course of a match against another club, I jumped up to do a smash causing a tremendous downward pressure which resulted in the loudest fart I have ever produced to date. It was so loud, that everyone heard it but no-one had a clue what it was or where it cmae from. Except myself and my playing partner, who by now was rolling around the court in uncontrollable laughter.