I out positived the voices today. Am absolutely shattered but I won a massive battle. I've never managed to keep smiling and positive all day while they've been raging before. They were really vicious ... and reeeeally impotent! (I can't do it again tomorrow I'm too drained but I don't mind, so thrilled I bought a whole day back from the voices with positive coping strategies)
Bricki - the name is basically because i looked like a builder who was building the new 6th form. That doesnt mean i wasn't a hellraiser in school though
Wow Bricki that's a heck of a way to acquire perspective! I like the way it's translating (though I'm sorely tempted to respond in a dreadful German accent )
I quite like the origins of Bricki that's cute
I was never massively popular in school, I was a bit of an ugly duckling.
I have a meeting with Sally today (my CPN). I have no OCD progress to report. I have stopped the food wobble from undoing progress which is great but I didn't make any 'proper' meals, though I have the ingredients for two recipes, and I haven't moved any cup handles on the draining board from their military style uniform direction.
I'm going to ask Sally if we can swap breaking washing up rituals for trying to swim I just don't feel ready for washing up ... though if Sally feels it is a cop out I shall of course persevere *game face*
Ooo thats a brilliant idea by eck I hadn't thought of that. Definitely worth a shot mini would love the excuse to play with some water and I'm sure the tea set could do with a wash ... especially if we were planning a tea party with all the toys I might have to stretch to baking some tiny cakes and scones n stuff.
let me know how it goes. How old is mini? I have used play with the children to help me work on the stuff j found hard. Are there lots of rules surrounding washing up? ( PM me if you would prefer)
Bricki, the audit team I worked for had an auditor out in Mumbai during that time too. I pulled many late nights trying to find him somewhere safe, get information on what was happening and keep his family updated. Fortunately he had lived in India and Pakistan for many years before coming back to England and was incredibly well looked after.
2-3 hours SOLB? I'd just eat takeway with disposable items instead!
I'm all moved up now to Sheffield (yesterday was long and very tiring). Found out I've passed my thesis which is awesome but need to sort out printing and stuff while moving in and starting new job next week. I am really pleased about it but pretty nervous about starting someone new and meeting people and trying to at least appear competent to colleagues!
That's a good blog Bricki, I'm not sure if I took it as seriously as I might have without a German accent! Have you read brain training for runners by Matt Fitzgerald? It's all about running, but is good for making you think about how you run.
Well I did it and managed a run on my own. Just 31 minutes but that's more than I've managed on my own for a long time. Hopefully will create a bit of confidence to get out and build on that. Glad I live in an area where there's a couple of old quarry areas nearby. It means they're now pleasant parkland and lakes and they can't build yet more houses there. Makes a much nicer place to run.
Well done LR. I haven't run for a couple of weeks. I want to get out and run but now I'm scared. I could have pushed myself to run today because moo is at nursery, but I needed sleep and,there was lots of housework to do. Little moo gets quite poorly over winter and I end up sacrificing myself to keel everything going. I don't want to do that this time. I might ask Mr by eck if I can do parkrun tomorrow ( assuming moo is,well)
I do find it can be more difficult the longer it is since I've been our running. Sometimes other commitments do have to take priority but I hope you can get out there tomorrow though. Sounds like you could benefit from it.
If I haven't run for a few days I always have this irrational but heavy fear that I can't do it.
Oh Ben-o huge huge congrats on the pass, I am so delighted for you. Glad the move has gone ok when are you starting the new job?
Brilliant effort on the 31 LR I need to stop making excuses and just do it tomorrow
Weird session with the CPN she asked if I found us meeting helpful. I've said I feel like someone else would benefit more. We are going to talk about working differently or stopping if I still want to. She is talking to the psych too, apparently my ocd is quite severe. She was talking about taking a break from working on it. I don't mean that I just think I can do it on my own.
I feel really disturbed tonight i should just go to bed but I don't want to think. I'm still very lonely too.
By eck I think you made a good call today, you must be exhausted
Go for it SOLB. You can make it a target to outdo me with 32 minutes. Must be a tough time for you though if you're not making progress. Sending lots of hugs. Hope it helps.
I'll do that, 32 minutes it is (I like a good challenge!)
The weird thing is I am making loads of progress it's just all a bit scattered and disorganised and not necessarily what we were supposed to be working on. Maybe I'm just trying to change too many things at once. I don't think I'm a particularly good patient for the CPN. I don't trust her so I always just say everything is fine, thats why I think someone else might benefit more
I sound like a grumpy little weirdo there, I am nice and I try hard too.
Thank you for the hugs, ALWAYS appreciated.
I think I've just fallen foul of the midnight rule for the third consecutive night. I must be more mindful of that, though luckily its easy to conquer (it's one of the rules I've already beaten)
I'd better go to bed I feel like I'll say something somehow shameful that I'll regret if I dont stop talking.
Glad tomorrow is a shiny new day, I've got lots I would like to achieve
Hope tomorrow goes OK then. I've only just started taking medication. I've fought on for a long time without but finally just had to give way. Anyway, the 'happy pills' are just starting to kick in which is helping. Only down side is I'm not sleeping as well. Currently on a bit of a high as I've been out at a quiz night and had a good time - and alcohol! Got to be up tomorrow as I'm doing an orienteering event locally. Hope to build on today's efforts.
Sounds really positive LR ... well apart from the sleepy map reading tomorrow perhaps!
It's weird isn't it loads of us fight against taking the meds even though there's no prize for going med free and it could make a huge difference
I'm pretty diligent with my anti psychotics but I often 'forget' the anti d's then get really really low til I'll take them again. I wonder why the reluctance
I just started for month then didn't get an appointment sorted with my GP on time so I had a few days without. I really went downhill at that point. I'm now on a repeat prescription though. I've been reluctant becuase I've always felt that it's only a temporary solution. Anyway, can only take things one day and one step at a time.
Hic! Feeliung pissed and with "comfortably numb" by the Floyd blaring away downstairs. Feeling this moment is poignant but not quite sure how at the moment.
Today is positive but burnt muffins took the ege off it somehow
Life needs to shape up but not sure if I need to do some kicking right now. Confused :-/
Comments
Hi Frodo how are you hen
Sleep time finally. Zzzzzzzz
Thanks Frodo. Enjoyed the 'kitten' therapy. Maybe that was the breakthrough!
Bah humbug! I always moan about Christmas decorations appearing in November. Trouble is my excuse runs out after tomorrow.
Kitten therapy Frodo
I out positived the voices today. Am absolutely shattered but I won a massive battle. I've never managed to keep smiling and positive all day while they've been raging before. They were really vicious ... and reeeeally impotent! (I can't do it again tomorrow I'm too drained but I don't mind, so thrilled I bought a whole day back from the voices with positive coping strategies)
Tired solby
Good for you SOLB. Keep battling on.
Morning All
Bricki - the name is basically because i looked like a builder who was building the new 6th form. That doesnt mean i wasn't a hellraiser in school though
i published a new piece on my running/depression blog last night http://www.therunningfella.wordpress.com/2012/11/30/technique-is-the-key-to-the-lock/
basically saying we need techniques and constant refinements to stay at our best in life.
I quite like the origins of Bricki that's cute
I was never massively popular in school, I was a bit of an ugly duckling.
I have a meeting with Sally today (my CPN). I have no OCD progress to report. I have stopped the food wobble from undoing progress which is great but I didn't make any 'proper' meals, though I have the ingredients for two recipes, and I haven't moved any cup handles on the draining board from their military style uniform direction.
I'm going to ask Sally if we can swap breaking washing up rituals for trying to swim I just don't feel ready for washing up ... though if Sally feels it is a cop out I shall of course persevere *game face*
Sleep time soon.
Solb, could you play washing up with Solbsismini and her toys to get used to the idea before trying it on your adult stuff
SOLB
Thank you - The german accent was very funny at the time (and awful)
its amazing how Bricki has stuck with me - everyone calls it me now.
Your blog is very thought provoking, thank you
Solbsismini is 4 (5 in April) and Solbsisminimini is 18 months
Wish you were a year older SOLB, I found a perfect card!
2-3 hours SOLB? I'd just eat takeway with disposable items instead!
I'm all moved up now to Sheffield (yesterday was long and very tiring). Found out I've passed my thesis which is awesome but need to sort out printing and stuff while moving in and starting new job next week. I am really pleased about it but pretty nervous about starting someone new and meeting people and trying to at least appear competent to colleagues!
That's a good blog Bricki, I'm not sure if I took it as seriously as I might have without a German accent! Have you read brain training for runners by Matt Fitzgerald? It's all about running, but is good for making you think about how you run.
Ben-o
Ive not heard of that no, i will look it up. The german accent was brilliant at the time i must admit.
Well I did it and managed a run on my own. Just 31 minutes but that's more than I've managed on my own for a long time. Hopefully will create a bit of confidence to get out and build on that. Glad I live in an area where there's a couple of old quarry areas nearby. It means they're now pleasant parkland and lakes and they can't build yet more houses there. Makes a much nicer place to run.
I do find it can be more difficult the longer it is since I've been our running. Sometimes other commitments do have to take priority but I hope you can get out there tomorrow though. Sounds like you could benefit from it.
Oh Ben-o huge huge congrats on the pass, I am so delighted for you. Glad the move has gone ok when are you starting the new job?
Brilliant effort on the 31 LR I need to stop making excuses and just do it tomorrow
Weird session with the CPN she asked if I found us meeting helpful. I've said I feel like someone else would benefit more. We are going to talk about working differently or stopping if I still want to. She is talking to the psych too, apparently my ocd is quite severe. She was talking about taking a break from working on it. I don't mean that I just think I can do it on my own.
I feel really disturbed tonight i should just go to bed but I don't want to think. I'm still very lonely too.
By eck I think you made a good call today, you must be exhausted
Go for it SOLB. You can make it a target to outdo me with 32 minutes. Must be a tough time for you though if you're not making progress. Sending lots of hugs. Hope it helps.
The weird thing is I am making loads of progress it's just all a bit scattered and disorganised and not necessarily what we were supposed to be working on. Maybe I'm just trying to change too many things at once. I don't think I'm a particularly good patient for the CPN. I don't trust her so I always just say everything is fine, thats why I think someone else might benefit more
I sound like a grumpy little weirdo there, I am nice and I try hard too.
Thank you for the hugs, ALWAYS appreciated.
I think I've just fallen foul of the midnight rule for the third consecutive night. I must be more mindful of that, though luckily its easy to conquer (it's one of the rules I've already beaten)
I'd better go to bed I feel like I'll say something somehow shameful that I'll regret if I dont stop talking.
Glad tomorrow is a shiny new day, I've got lots I would like to achieve
Hope tomorrow goes OK then. I've only just started taking medication. I've fought on for a long time without but finally just had to give way. Anyway, the 'happy pills' are just starting to kick in which is helping. Only down side is I'm not sleeping as well. Currently on a bit of a high as I've been out at a quiz night and had a good time - and alcohol! Got to be up tomorrow as I'm doing an orienteering event locally. Hope to build on today's efforts.
It's weird isn't it loads of us fight against taking the meds even though there's no prize for going med free and it could make a huge difference
I'm pretty diligent with my anti psychotics but I often 'forget' the anti d's then get really really low til I'll take them again. I wonder why the reluctance
I just started for month then didn't get an appointment sorted with my GP on time so I had a few days without. I really went downhill at that point. I'm now on a repeat prescription though. I've been reluctant becuase I've always felt that it's only a temporary solution. Anyway, can only take things one day and one step at a time.
Hic! Feeliung pissed and with "comfortably numb" by the Floyd blaring away downstairs. Feeling this moment is poignant but not quite sure how at the moment.
Today is positive but burnt muffins took the ege off it somehow
Life needs to shape up but not sure if I need to do some kicking right now. Confused :-/