Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
Options
Mums Running Club
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
CM, I do feel for you and your situation. As others have said we are all behind you on here. I think everyone has this mental image of the "perfect" family situation which is drummed into us by the media but in practice it rarely works out that way. Your mother obviously has a lot of issues - the fact that your parents have no contact with their siblings or any other members of the family should reassure you that they have problems in establishing and sustaining normal relationships with anyone, not just you. Yes, they're your parents but they have done you a lot of emotional damage over the years and with their attitude towards the kids, there's a risk of emotional damage there too should they be allowed to see them unsupervised. It broke my heart to hear that they have referred to both you and your children as a 'waste of space'. I think about Kit and how incredibly happy and confident he is, and how all he has ever had is praise and encouragement from his grandparents, and it breaks my heart that other children can't take that as a given. Somehow you have come through the experience of being raised by your parents a loving, caring person and that is what you want for your own children. Confront your parents, and depending on the outcome of that, you can then decide whether to cut them out of your lives.
I'm also sad for you that you will never experience the joy of a positive mother-daughter relationship. The one thing that saddens me about not having a daughter of my own is that I will never get to recreate the relationship I have with my own mum, which is wonderful. My mum is the kindest, most supportive, generous and selfless person I know and I love her to bits. I lost my dad at 18 and I think that's made my relationship with my mum even closer. I also have lovely in-laws (although they do irritate me on occasion!) so I count myself very lucky. My best friend (whose mum is best friends with my mum) has an odd family set-up. She doesn't talk to her dad (who is divorced from her mum, remarried and now lives in Lanzarote). Her partner of 20+ years doesn't talk to any member of his family, even though he has two siblings. I have no idea what caused this situation as my friend has never really given me the gory details, but her daughter essentially has only one grandparent which is a shame. So yours isn't the only family with "issues" - in fact I think there are probably more families like that than harmonious ones!
MM, good luck!
Weirdly warm here, hope it drys all my laundry as I need loads of it for our weekend trip to my dads.
Well that was a bit easier than I expected if anything, and shorter, so hope that's not a bad sign??
No excel test which I was relieved about!! 
My brain is hurting though!!! What am I like??
Only took 30 mins to get there which is less than I thought too, so pleased about that. Chap was very nice, and he seemed as nervous as me. Small team, which sounded nice and did sound like an interesting job. I asked about hours flexibility but not actual hours in total. The subject came up as he mentioned the site working hours, so I just asked how flexible they are as 8:30am every day would be hard to make as nursery doesn't open till 8am, and there is no pre-school drop off club. Going to ask at nursery now about after school, costs etc in case, and might ask the two childminders in the village about their availability too.
Phew! Might need a glass of red tonight. As you all say good experience and one I've not had for a few years. Next round in two weeks, so they will me know next week sometime...
And breathe....Might do some gardening with kids this afternoon, get some beds dug (without hurting my knee, hmmmm!) and sow some seeds like parsnips. Already have lettuce in the greenhouse ready to pick which am pleased about and some carrots over wintering in some pots.
How is your bum/hamstring feeling Minks?
woohoo MM - well done you!
i have driven up to birmingham and back today and done the tricky appraisal for my stroppy bolshie aggressive shouty woman. as with most stroppy aggressive people, she is all 'front'. unfortunately, it seems she is very depressed and seriously disillusioned with life and work. she ended up in tears. so although i gave her a 'needs improvement', with which she agreed, i feel bad because she has so clearly been struggling badly and yet has not asked for help. instead she has just been aggressive and rude to people and got everyone's backs up. i have placed a call with HR because i am so worried about her - waiting for them to call me back. poor love
Well done, MM - so not as bad as you feared then? Definitely crack open that wine tonight love - you've earned it! Did they say there was any flexibility around the hours? Do you think you would like to work there if they offered you the job (assuming suitable hours could be negotiated)? Anyway, all good experience even if nothing comes of it, and you survived and held your own so good for you!
Not sure about the hamstring/bum thing - resting doesn't seem to be making it any better really, and it's not even bad in the first place. It's just uncomfortable when I run and even sometimes when I walk. The discomfort can be anywhere from lower left back, left buttock (deep inside, where the bony bit of your bum is), mid-thigh hamstring or even behind the knee (hamstring insertion). Am wondering if it's mild sciatica as the symptoms fit. I really just want to know three things: 1) what it is, 2) can I run with it? and 3) how to get rid of it!
CM, that sounds tough. But it sounds as though what she needed more than anything was a sympathetic ear and someone to offload to, so you've probably helped her no end. It's a shame that a lot of people become aggressive and rude when they feel overwhelmed and unable to cope, but no-one picks up on it as a cry for help. Did she say why she had felt unable to ask for help? I hope that you/HR are able to offer her some support going forward.
minks - does sound a bit like sciatica...
she is a very tough nut, this particular woman. she never asks for help. mid-year, she got some bad feedback, and i spoke to her about it, and asked her if she felt like she needed to move role. she said 'no', blamed everyone else etc. so i got her moved assignment and asked her to keep me posted on how things were going. she didn't, of course - i got some feedback from her assignment manager which was that she was doing 'ok'. but it appears she wasn't. she won't take help, i don't think. she really is quite obnoxiously difficult. she has now moved groups so for the current appraisal year (2012) she won't be reporting to me, so is no longer my 'problem'. but i am going to meet with her new manager and do a proper handover and make sure that my concerns are heard. which is why i have also contacted HR. i am quite worried about her. and of course, she is only going to make more enemies if she carries on behaving like this.
Yes def hours flexibility as lass going off on maternity leave works from home 1-2 days a week, but she does work full-time hours. So could get in for 9.15am, and hubbie do this 1-2 days a week too, then work later other end, or maybe even get in for 7.30 some days and pick up at 3pm and catch up some hours other times. Maybe?? We shall see anyway, might not even get through to the next round and really don't want five days a week, really want a day or two with S as she is still so little and changing so much all the time. After school pick up is going to be an issue. Nursery currently does this on thurs. They are open to other days, but will have to ask around childminders too.
I think back needs clunking Mink, you need some massage and some core work and strength in gluts like me. Just my view. Keep stretching loads as this helps the most with sciatica.
Sounds like a hard one CM, and this itself just shows how different you are to your parents as you have empathy for this woman even though she has annoyed many people with her attitude. Hope you can get it resolved.
Right garden beckons as such a nice afternoon...
Wow, really balmy here too CC - lovin' it!
MM, that all sounds fairly positive re. the job. I guess it depends how badly you want it at the endof the day as to how much juggling and negotiating you're prepared to do. Take things one step at a time - let's get to the second round first before worrying about all the logistics, though obviously sensible to explore childcare and after-school options beforehand.
I think back needs clunking too, MM, which is why I've booked with a chiropractor (specialising in sports injuries) next Monday, as opposed to physio or osteopath. It definitely feels as though something might be out of alignment and pressing on a nerve or two. I agree that I probably also need some core work and some decent stretching exercises. May draw the line at massage though - I loathe it. But if needs must and all that ... Have never really had problems before so slightly annoying.
There is a Pilates class in the local church hall - my friend from Kit's school used to go to it and really recommended the teacher. I could potentially go as it's on Monday evenings but Monday evening is literally the only evening in the week that hubby and I spend fully together - Tuesdays and Thursdays is rowing and Wednesdays and Fridays running. I run Tuesdays too but in the morning after I've dropped Kit at school. So not sure I want to sacrifice that time. I know I wouldn't do a DVD and would need the motivation of a class, especially to start with and to make sure I'm performing the exercises correctly. We'll see what the chiro says on Monday and proceed from there. Meantime I have to decide whether to attempt Sunday's planned 18 or not. If I don't that's two consecutive long runs missed which will really screw up the schedule. Think I can get away with missing one but not sure about two ...
I would do the pilates class. Pilates is soooo good for us runners. I just don't do enough for my high mileage and need to remedy that when I come back. Age not in our favours either unfortunately!!
Right hubbie calling and have done zero reading with kids yet. So many jobs to do when I'm by myself like the bins etc. Plus trying to do other things like selling my energy gels as have tonnes and they go out of date soon
...
Can you get to a pool Minks or try a x-trainer instead on Sunday. Missing one long run will not harm you. Missing a whole week won't either or even 2 weeks, after that it starts to get tricky unless you can x-train.
Well done MM, sounds as though it went really well. I guess on further reflection as an employer, if we found the right person for a job, we have been very flexible on their hours in the past (as long as it is not a job that requires them to be in the office to answer the phones for example). It is more critical that we find the right person with the right skills that can fit in to the existing team. Fingers crossed for you. Is the company in Dorcan?
Really not feeling like doing anyhting at all today. I'm in the office on my own (sent one colleage home as there is nothing urgent for him to do) and Mr TT out at a meeting. Just want to go home and curl up in bed. Really really need a holiday but not seeing one on the horizon yet
. I'm my own worst enemy though, stressed because I have so much to do but not finding myself able to really do anything.
Hi again ladies – wow I can’t keep up with all your posts! Harry keeps me too busy at the moment!
I didn’t realise that relaxin stuck around when you breastfed, thought it would be gone by now. Does it just make you more prone to injury?
I think I’m going off the idea of the running buggy again. I’ve decided I’m going to join the gym this weekend. We moved house 9 days before Harry was born (!) and I haven’t joined a new gym yet. I do love the gym. Hubby plays golf on a Saturday so we’ve decided that if he plays in the morning I can go to the gym in the afternoon (or the other way round), have a workout and maybe a coffee in peace what bliss!
Janie Tri – my husband’s parents live in Bramhall, we live about a mile away. I had all my wedding photos taken in Bramhall Park and our reception was at Bramhall Park golf club – small world!
Congrats to Caro on your new arrival. I’ve only got one but so far have to say I agree with CM – boys are gorgeous but very demanding! Lots of feeding and not much sleeping although things have settled down a bit now he’s 5 months. I’m still desperate for that magical night when he finally sleeps through though! Harry was back to back too, forceps delivery in the end after about 22 hours – fairly traumatic all round!
CC, think I might just divert the phones to my mobile and go home. We are hosting a baby shower at our place tomorrow night and there is plenty to do at home. Just don't feel like doing anything.
Housework....hmm...just started getting a cleaner every 2 weeks, makes a good difference as it means we do clear up the mess before they come. Stops things getting too out of hand.
Sounds as though you are having a spell of nice weather at the moment, hope it lasts.
Christine, like the sound of your new arrangement with your husband. Sounds similar to our Saturdays. I run at 7 on Saturday morning with my running group then we sit around in Starbucks and put the world to rights for an hour or so. We then spend the rest of the morning together then Mr TT plays golf in the afternoon. Works for us. Where does your husband play golf?
Well done MM - fingers crossed they can be flexible for you. I desperately don't want to go back to work full time just yet but financially I think I will have to for now anyway. M is still so little and the thought of spending all that time away from her literally breaks my heart. I am going to try and find something part time (3.5-4 days a week would be great) but not holding my breath and then would need to convince hubby. Interesting to hear that some of you broached reduced hours when job was advertised as full time - I think I might try that.
Need to hand my job application in today - not holding out much hope though, I could do 80% of the job with my eyes shut but there is a specific requirement that I don't have so may exclude me fullstop. At least it has got me to finish my CV.
Listening to all of you has made me feel a bit stressed about future of juggling priorities. I guess that's being a mum right?
Yes MIL is dire. I felt so cross because I made a real effort to allow her to see M twice before we left (in the 2 weeks between hearing from her and flying) and the second time after going on about never seeing her again, she left after an hour because she wanted to get the cheaper train home (she is NOT poor!). Not heard from her since including Christmas. But yes CM the distance does make the whole thing a lot easier!!
Terrible sleep last night, M awake twice, banged my foot on a drawer which was excruciating and wide awake trying to solve the worlds problems so feeling a bit below par this morning. Off to playgroup soon though - fingers crossed for some nice mummies as I need some friends!! Mum and Dad coming for the night tomorrow - can't wait! We have missed them after spending so much time with them. Oh and veg planting this afternoon - can't wait!!
Drat washing machine beeping - better go as it beeps constantly until turned off grrrr!
Hoggle, good luck with your application. I found that joining a local running group introduced us to a great bunch of people. I never ran with anyone before but also found it has improved my running too (or at least it did until I stopped for so long!).
You have made such a huge life change, you are bound to lie awake a little and worry, it's only natural. Try not to let things get you down (ha ha, that's funny coming from me!) and rejoice in the fact that you are now close to your parents and far away from MIL.
Have been so sore today. The pain has got worse over the wk rather than better, and when I stand up it really aches all around my right buttock like some thing is dragging it down. Walking is really painful because of that and the tears. Weeing stings like mad and I looked at the perineal tear this morning and I think the stitches have popped. I don't know what it should look like but it is about 2 cm long of gaping wound, the edges are not opposed at all. I can see some stitches, but I assume it was a 2 layer closure. I called the MW to ask what I should do and she said that even if it has opened they wouldn't re stitch it, but if was worried about infection I could go to my GP. Well I don't think it's infected, but it isn't going to heal nearly as well or as fast unless it's stitched. I have another MW visit tomorrow so I'll see what they say.
Went to the in laws for a quick lunch today. Were going to stop at a bathroom shop on the way to look at new bathrooms, but really didn't feel like it. Eric is still sleeping all the time. Last night I woke him every 2.5 to 3 hrs for milk to keep him happy and to keep my boobs happy. They haven't quite exploded yet but hopefully they will settle down soon. Was feeling a bit weepy this morning but it didn't last long. I think it was more the worry about the tear, the pain and my boobs than actual baby blues.
Tomorrow is M's last day at nursery. She's been there 2 days a wk for 3 yrs, so it's a bit of a milestone. She completely understands and says she isn't sad so that's good, and
as of next wk will be at pre school every day, so it's not as if she'll suddenly have 2 empty days.
Right, sorry that was all me me me!
Glad interview seemed positive MM.
Hope you get a break soon TT.
MM - glad interview went well.
Oops, shd be sorting washing so better get back to it ...
CC great cooking, not sure I know what chilli jam is though......
Karen back to the washing naughty you!
Glad interview went OK MM, sounds like flexibility could be a goer.
Hoggle glad you are seeing your folks soon.
Did a bit too much today, cooked a lasagne, baked bread, sorted paperwork and filed a load of stuff, drove to surgery to drop off hosp letter and went to a meeting at the school- tummy is killing now.
Anyone got a vibration plate - friends are gushing bout them, apparently you just stand there and the fat MELTS away!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now Im not one to believe everything I hear but OMG if it's true I want one?
Not managed much of a read back.
Hoggle - ditto everyone else on the Running Club. I can't train with mine at the moment due to MrC working away amd I miss it SO much! I knew no one when I moved here and the Club gave me friends and some social. I feel very isolated now
God so am I Karen!! My episiotomy was OK tbh. Stitches were very good and it healed perfectly. I was very lucky, and was pleased they had cut me instead of tearing.
With Sophie I had no tears or anything despite her shooting out like a rocket!!
I am very glad the MW is coming round Caro. That does not sound good at all.
I am on my last tether this morning after 2 hours of my kids and I have 2 more after school, Ahhhh!!!! Boys have friends coming for tea. Their Mum is coming round about 4 though to help me with the tea carnage and for a chat, maybe a glass of wine!!
The boys have been fighting constantly since they woke up this morning, and Sophie has been whining since she woke up after waking me twice again in the night. Doesn't make for a happy Mummy especially when she can't run either!!
Am tempted to try x-trainer this weekend. Probably go swimming tomorrow morning and then try on Sunday if knee feels OK. Did think about getting up this morning but then a voice inside me says no just keep resting it for now. Must do exercises actually...