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Books - try John Wyndoms stuff - Day of the Triffids, The Chrysalis, Chockey. Well grounded contempary sci fi stuff (not too scary), which I seem to remember reading at his age. Its written on several levels, so he can re read when he gets older and pick up the more complex meaning.
For classics try some of Phillipa Pearces stuff : Toms Midnight Garden, Minnow on the Say. Good kids yarns based in a small village. Either that or the Wind in The Willows. Not ashamed to say that I still look at that sometimes.
Cycle helmets. With Duck Girl here. Its a legitimate safety measure - you should use it. Car drivers rarely seem to be awake enough to see cyclists anyway, so I doubt they could tell or care whether they were wearing a helmet or not. I'm not in favour of forcing folks to wear them if they don't want to, but I get a little annoyed by the cycling lobbyists who seem to try to bully people into not wearing them for no other reason that to satisfy their won rather skewed view of things.
Thats another argument though.
re taking on the establishment: By all means be a thorn in their flesh, but don't expect to win. The most important person in all over this is Minty Jnr. If he flourishes it'll really rub their nose in it, so the number 1 priority is to make sure that he does just that.
Back to Henry the tractor and our lower pasture.....
I think Wyndham had some Quaker links - he lived at the Penn Club for years.
Terry Pratchett? I remember liking that, especially 'Truckers' 'Diggers' and 'Wings'.
boy1 found his own thing
went off tot he shop with his xmas money and came back with a biography- andrew flintoff
that's what he reads now - sporting biographies
he was never going to get on with fiction, so why bother making him read it
i am just happy he reads for pleasure
He was absolutely desperate for the new Harry Potter book but I've historically read these to him and as it's supposed to be the last one, it seems quite fitting that I should do so again. If I didn't read it to him, I probably wouldn't bother reading it, but I need to know what happens.
If Little Mint was buying a book, he'd buy a joke book.
Saw your post on another thread Lurker about Noughts and Crosses. I've seen that and it does look good. Is it suitable for 11 year olds?
He seems to like kids horror which I'm not so sure about. He will sit and read those. And the Alex Ryder books went down well but I think he was just competing with another kid to see who could finish them first.
Well, he's much happier out of the school and now that term has ended I feel more comfortable about it. I went to collect his work earlier this week and on reading through his books I can see that back in April he was writing 'I'm bored' in his books and was made to rub it out. I don't think anyone could say he didn't warn them. I honestly don't condone his behaviour but the more I hear about that place, the more I think they got what they deserved. I don't tell him that though.
Philip Pullman is another one to try.
My brother used to read mostly factual stuff - New Scientist, various pop-science stuff, & encyclopaedias & stuff (so did I but then I read the telephone directory when I wasn't allowed any books 'till I did writing practice, but there you go).
Friend suggested that you could try varoius climbing / adventure accounts - Joe Simpson et al.
My real gut feeling is to walk away as I've said before. The future is what counts now - not the past.
I've calmed down a hell of a lot from a few weeks ago. There's a 10 page letter sitting on my computer which I could probably now reduce to about 2 because the rest of it just isn't worth saying.
I'm glad the parent survey went ahead. I'm hearing that people have been honest about how they feel about the school (believe me, I'm not alone in this). I've been offered the opportunity to complete one, in confidence, and so I think I will do that and a letter to the governors explaining my resignation. I shall also copy that letter to the LEA with a general moan about them reaching conclusions without having the courtesy to speak to me. Then I'll let it go.
The LEA have failed to rearrange the appointment so that I can take a witness with me. I'm beginning to think they want me to make a complaint so that it has to be investigated. A welfare officer has advised me to complain to the Director of Education.
Joe Simpson wrote that really good book that was made into a film didn't he? I can't remember what it was called but I read the book and it was awesome. Little Mint would definitely enjoy that I think. Thanks for that suggestion.
I never saw the film but would like to.
My son and his mates were competing as to who could read Lord of the rings first in year 6. Daughter who is 9 loves Terry Pratchett, also Lemony Snickett.
I remember reading War & Peace aged 11 but haven't tried that one with my kids.
I must admit I don't tend to worry too much about suitability of the books (unless daughter is picking up some of the girlie teen books)
He does enjoy stories but he seems to prefer it if I read to him. He's a very capable reader and was off the reading scheme in year 1 or 2 (I forget now) but just doesn't seem to want to read for pleasure. I don't want to force it but I'd be happier if he did read more. His Dad liked the classics - Dickens and the like.
We're currently enjoying the new Harry Potter book but that's me reading to him.
I can't believe how long winded and tiring this has turned out to be and in the meantime we're not being offered any form of support. He starts his new school in three weeks' time and I'm really worried for him. He had tremendous difficulties at the summer school and eventually the other kids started to call him a 'stalker'. The net effect of this will be that he will retaliate big time and then get accused of being a bully himself. He begged me, midweek, not to send him back to summer school but I forced him to persevere with it and he was thankfully a bit happier by the end of the week. I don't think he's particularly looking forward to it. It's completely daunting for him. I know he'll be fine once he's settled in but I really wish I could help a bit more to make the transition smoother - which reminds me the Autistic Society sent me some information on copying with school transitions - I will look at that again now.
Is there a branch of the NAS in your area? They might be able to help with advice about transition. It sounds as if he has the desire to interact with the others but doesn't quite know how - hence the 'stalker' label.
Know what you mean about children with autistic traits managing to cope in some situations. I have seen some for developmental assessments who manage fine with a couple of other children but the reports from nurwsery are completely different.
The other thing to comfort yourself with is that he'll have a larger potential pool of associates. Again, I'd be suprised if there wasn't at least one other kid whose a little bit like him.
Mrs FR finds face to face social interaction almost impossible at times. The internet and things like MSN and Yahoo are a boon. She's been able to build a very large "virtual" social circle. Its really nothing to be ashamed of, and is far prefferable to the awkward lonely existance she once had.
FR - you'd laugh - he's already done the maths about how many times he can fall out with people and there will still be others available to 'make friends' with. He obviously 'expects' that he will fall out with his friends which is a shame. I do hope they come up with some help with his social skills some time soon - it would mean so much to him to be able to hang on to friendship.
I'm being called downstairs. I've bought myself a flute today (I haven't played in over 30 years!) and he wants to learn it with me - alongside his trumpet. That should keep us both occupied. He certainly prefers reading music to reading books.
Re intimacy. There's a lot of mutual patience and trust involved, and when the time comes he'll likely have a lot of frustrations. I think people were fairly gobsmacked that we developed a physical relationship at all, let alone raise a family. Touching is a real minefield for Autistics.
Lots of people with ASD's in the music world. The geek factor is a distinct advantage in classical music, and of course in things like heavy metal "weirdness" is de rigeur
I think if I can just get Little Mint to accept his differences - even celebrate them - we'll be laughing. He certainly enjoys his music talent and I've asked him how he's going to react if kids decide to tease him about it (which I think has already been done) and he says he doesn't care - I think he loves it enough to keep at it. The other thing he needs is not to be so desperate for friends. As soon as he learns to love his own company I'm sure true friendships will happen. I know we can get there but I guess I have to accept that it's going to take time and won't happen overnight.
My deepest wish is that he won't act the fool at his new school in a misguided effort to win friends. I hope he's learned his lesson in what happened at primary. The new school are already guiding him and saying that if he's lonely at lunchtime, the library is always open where he can use the computers or, if he wants, train with them to be a librarian in his lunch breaks.
He certainly doesn't object to a tactile relationship with me - in fact he seems to crave it and most of the time is touching me in one way or another. He loves his cuddles but only with me. I think I am his security blanket/comforter which at times can be a real strain. Hopefully, the fact that he can be tactile with me, means that if he can develop a trusting relationship with somebody else, he will be able to be intimate with them. We've got plenty of time for that though.
If the assessing people want to speak to another adult & you aren't keen on a teacher, is there anyone else who might do - maybe a music tutor, swimming coach, or is there anything like church or scouts he does? They will probably want to see how little-mint gets on in different situations away from Mum, & particularly around children of his own age - it's usual for children to act differently at home & away from it.
It sounds like a good idea for the new school to be offering him something to do at lunchtimes. Wouldn't be surprised if there's quite a few like him doing that sort of thing already - might be a good opportunity for him to make friends that way.
The sad thing about it is that he desperately wants to be able to interact with the others. I guess he needs to learn to accept that it might take time to find a friend with common interests - and indeed find all the things he is particularly interested in himself. Car exhausts are the topic of the moment - it's doing my head in - especially as I'm looking to change cars at the moment.
Went back to see paed yesterday. She is struggling as to whether to give a diagnosis or not. She says he has lots of traits. She asked more questions and my answers pushed her more in the direction of giving a diagnosis. She feels he is extremely complex and really struggles to try and understand what is going on with him.
She wants to go back to his teachers, albeit that they are no longer her teachers. I explained my concerns and she said she isn't really interested in their opinions, just their observations which makes me feel a bit better. She is also going to contact his music teacher (thanks DG for that suggestion although what she can tell will be of limited value because it's what's going on socially that seems to be concerning her more than anything).
Oh, she also thought I might benefit from some support from the West Midlands Autistic Society so I'll have to look them up although I'm not confident that it's going to be very fruitful. After 11 years of banging my head against a brick wall, I don't really feel much further forward.
Minty - the West Midlands Autistic Society will be part of the NAS I suspect so will have details of support groups local to you. I know what you mean about banging your head against a brick wall - been there done that and got the t-shirt! They are so loathe to make any diagnosis these days in case it is wrong and then you sue them. I had to wait for 5years of hospital appointments with various specialists before eldest little CC got his diagnosis (for what it's worth!) but at least he has it now.
Keep at it! Maybe someone from the local group will be able to support you on paed visits etc (ie go with you). That can help strengthen your case. Make sure you get help filling in DLA forms as well (disability living allowance forms). Get in touch with your local carer's centre - they often have details of local support groups and can help with filling in DLA forms. They sometimes have day trips for carers and arrange for someone to be there for the person you are caring for whilst you have the day's break. (My local one does all this - they are brilliant and I wouldn't be as sane as I am now if it wasn't for them.)
Hi Creamy - lovely to see you.
He's in the County training orchestra but that doesn't run during the summer. He loves that and has started to say he can't wait for it to start again - only a few weeks to go now. His personal tutor is also his tutor at the orchestra training sessions - she's fabulous with him and seems to have a better understanding of him than his school teachers did.
I honestly can't imagine going anywhere without him. He'd go mad! I go to work and very occasionally I might have a night out (very rare) when he'll begrudgingly go to my Mum's. He's also in an excellent swimming club - they are fabulous at being inclusive which is why that works so well for him. Other clubs he tends to drop out of because things go wrong in one way or another. He dropped out of rugby because he had a head on collision with another child. That was a couple of years ago and he's started to say he wants to go back to rugby so maybe we'll give it another go in September.
Hopefully secondary school will throw up lots of new interests for him. I think it might because it will be less immature - he prefers a grown up take on things.
I was delighted last night when we dined out with a couple of friends of mine who I know see him as merely badly behaved. Fortunately they got to see the slightly more delightful side of him and held a very adult conversation with him. I think it opened their eyes a bit which was a relief for me because he's not all bad, God love him. If adults dismiss him as an 11 year old (as they so often do), then they tend to get a rough deal back from him. He likes to be included and is perfectly capable of joining in most adult conversations - albeit in a slightly odd manner.
I will certainly look into the DLA. I've worked less this summer than ever before. I could have done with working more but I just feel he needs me here with him and so didn't feel able to.
Wonder f someone from the swmmng club would be able to say about how he gets on n groups?
Don't worry too much about the dsgnoss bt. Only as useful as any help that gets & can often access that less formally anyway. Un department can't use my old assessments 'cos haven't seen an actual Dr for years but a qute short test of motor co-ordnaton & stuff gets me most of the same allowances for exams &tc. anyway people change the words around & splt categores & change thngs. get a dfferent flavour of 'odd' every few years dependng on what the latest thoughts are on causes treatments & whatever model happens to be fashonable & recently publshed. For me 'Just A Bt Strange' does the job - unless t's for research when everyone should have ther head thoroughly examned (by me) 'cos fun!
When am a Proper Psychologst shall dscover Everythng about Everythng so not really worth tryng to be too exact - all shall change soon anyway when DG Sorts Everythng Out
(sorry - my letters between j-l & u-o & some punctuaton are not good! creatve phraseology requred - hope readable).
LOL - I'm looking forward to DGSEO!!!
I should point out that none of the others have a formal ASD diagnosis (well, one's dyspraxic), the others all have at least one degree, & we all met quite randomly & not by trainspotting. Spods Of The World Unite!
I also found out last week that one of my uncles (Mum's side) has written the definitive book for milk float spotters. He goes on holiday to Cyprus every year to look at a special sort of bus they have there.
Little Mint could probably write a book on car exhausts at the moment!
Glad you enjoyed the festival DG. I don't think I'd be able to converse with you and your friends at all!
New school is proving to be an amazing experience for Little Mint. There is so much going on and you can see that his head is full and busy thinking of all the things he needs to do/is going to do. He seems like a different child already (only day 2).
We have a problem though. PE today. They didn't actually do PE but just had a chat about it and were told that they must shower after each PE lesson (fair enough - otherwise they'd stink!). But that did it for Little Mint. He says he doesn't care if he gets expelled, he's not going to shower!!! I took him to look at the showers hoping to be able to expel his fear but I think the fact that it's communal just made it worse. Oh dear.
When he was just 4, Little Mint had a terrible scolding accident when he spilt a hot cup of tea in his lap on a plane. He wouldn't remove his clothing so that we could get ice on him. We ended up tipping the ice down his trousers. Then when we got to the hospital after landing, he still wouldn't remove his clothing. He ended up getting impetigo through the wound. He's always had a thing about undressing in front of people - other than me, who he'll happily parade around naked in front of.
Any ideas how to get him to face up to this showering lark?
A teacher came across us looking at the showers and asked what was up. I did explain and she thought it was a good idea that we'd come to have a look and she reassured Little Mint that everyone worries but that in 3 or 4 weeks he'd think nothing of it. I'm afraid she doesn't know my Little Mint - he said he'd rather be expelled than strip off and shower in front of his classmates.