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Liz Jones, what can I say.....?
Right at the very heart of everything is the fact that she can't accept she wasn't born beautiful and never will be - in fact she looks like someone's hit her in the face with a frying pan.
You get past that and learn to love and respect yourself for your other qualities or you just project "I'm a shallow, self-obsessed b*tch" the rest of your life. Guess which she chose?
Nam wrote (see)
oh good grief I just read the sperm-stealing article... FFS!!!
I'd be intrigued to know what Caitlin Moran thinks of her actually. Because Liz Jones is about as feminist as Attilla the Hun.
As a side issue, how many other journalists' columns are filled with photos of themselves?
Like I said a shallow, self obsessed b*tch!
Completely off topic, but had to come on and say, feckin Nora - how on Earth did it pass the MOT?!
We have been car-less for over ten days, feared the worse, and I've been trawling finance options thinking that we would have no other choice. And then, finally we hear just now, no the clutch isn't dead and yes, it has passed its MOT!?! Really? And it the bill is under £100.
Excuse me, while I go and lie down somewhere to get over the (lovely) shock!
Angel82 wrote (see)
I don't think i've passed the pencil test since I was about 13! Apparently you are meant to do the same test for your bum That would scare me if I failed that one.
Me neither Angel; sadly the test failure isn't a recent thing, lol.
I thought the bum test meant under your bum too, hahahahahahaha!!!! Thankfully i think i'd pass that one, but I must test out the bum cheek version. Now, whose pencil can I use...... *pads off in search*
XFR Bear wrote (see)
I must read some more Caitlin Moran, she was brilliant when she wrote for NME/MM (can't remember which) and she was only about 18 then so I imagine she's even better now.
Don't get me started on Liz Jones .... completely barking psycho b1tch doesn't even cover half of it ... I'm not surprised all her neighbours turned against her. All that trying to impose her idea of a country idyll on them ... 'rescuing' animals when she has no idea how to look after the properly .... treating them as furry people and being surprised when they're not impressed with cashmere blankets and food from Harrods deli .....
At least the sperm stealing didn't work and she hasn't bred anymore of her kind.
I'm not in a phenomenally bad mood for no reason, nor do I feel like ripping someone's head off given the opportunity. I'm not sick of disappointment, frustration and abject boredom at work and I absolutely love being spoken to like a thick as mince piece of shit that my boss scuffed his shoe on whilst he blatantly ignores the fact that his other secretary is leaving me to do all her work. At 38 years old I'm not feeling like I've achieved nothing and am going nowhere because I've tried to do right by folk only to be shat on from a great height and now every landlord in town is wholly adverse to having my business inhabit their shitty run down hovel of a premises, lest they should have to pay some money toward its upkeep. I'm not wavering between screaming and howling and I feel full of energy and ready to take on the world. I'm also not in desperate need of one peaceful day when I'm not working, taxi driving, working some more and mediating between my children and their (f**king useless fat flacid cock) father. I can remember the last time I had even so much as an hour to myself, which is probably why I've taken to hiding in the kitchen for the past three nights from the constant tirade of shitty television reality shows and a teenage boy who appears to have reverted to his pre school years whilst pestering the cat all night, causing his sisters to constantly nag him to shut up.
In short...... AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!! And anyone who thinks they're brave enough to take the wine away from me - don't bother because you will lose.
Thank you and good night.
Sorry folks, I know there are people - some on a here - who have it way worse than I do and I'm probably acting like a spoilt brat. Just need to let off some steam, haven't had chance to run at all lately and could really do with a day to myself but am loading tons of guilt upon myself about leaving the (teenage) kids at the weekend (and need to work anyway).
Will buck up soon enough
My mother first showed me the pencil test. I was 12.
To say I was mortified would be a vast understatement! I did try it though...and passed. I suspect these days I'd also pass the butt test. In fact I suspect I could probably support a brick.
CD - that was a fabulous rant!
Frdo - great news about the car .................... jealous? Moi?
Actually, that would make sense Frodo, which means I failed the bosom one but could pas the butt one now with flying colours, bunting and a mahoosive sign pulled by....my ass!
Trying to decide who will be the recipient of my pending screaming hissy fit. The daughter who has been in the bath for the bast 45 minutes with crappy teen moosic invading my kitchen bunker or the hormonal son who announced he has "only been on the phone 20 minutes" (teen time = 40-60) when I asked if it would be possible to speak to my OH who I won't see for another two weeks.
Please tell me thats not Justin Beiber trying to be Justin Timberlake filtering in to my kitchen....
I think you may actually be *the* most tolerant person on this planet and I really honestly love the way you can take me from a dispicably black mood to actually feeling able to converse with the people around me. You know exactly how to bring me out of the black pond, you shit. Three years ago (jeez, really that long?) I would have run but you know what, I'm really glad you're on my side because whilst I'd fight a legion to protect you, I know you'd fight the plague for me.
Feck me, I've gone soft in my old age!
I'm away to watch prawns and snort Persil
Stil a bit fractious, lovely but not as destructive as earlier. Now chilling with Elbow and feeling V guilty about my full on proper stroppy!
Now, why aren't you in bed missy?