Things you want to say but can't



  • I guess you could do that too.
  • Liz Jones, what can I say.....?

    Right at the very heart of everything is the fact that she can't accept she wasn't born beautiful and never will be - in fact she looks like someone's hit her in the face with a frying pan.

    You get past that and learn to love and respect yourself for your other qualities or you just project "I'm a shallow, self-obsessed b*tch" the rest of your life. Guess which  she chose?

  • Nam wrote (see)
    oh good grief I just read the sperm-stealing article... image FFS!!!
    Crikey - she's a piece of work!  And if that survey she quotes is to be believed, so are a lot of women!  Although somehow I'd doubt it's representative, particularly if it's from Daily Mail readers!
  • I'd be intrigued to know what Caitlin Moran thinks of her actually. Because Liz Jones is about as feminist as Attilla the Hun.

    As a side issue, how many other journalists' columns are filled with photos of themselves?

    Like I said a shallow, self obsessed b*tch! 

  • I must read some more Caitlin Moran, she was brilliant when she wrote for NME/MM (can't remember which) and she was only about 18 then so I imagine she's even better now.
  • Completely off topic, but had to come on and say, feckin Nora - how on Earth did it pass the MOT?! image

    We have been car-less for over ten days, feared the worse, and I've been trawling finance options thinking that we would have no other choice. And then, finally we hear just now, no the clutch isn't dead and yes, it has passed its MOT!?! Really? And it the bill is under £100.

    Excuse me, while I go and lie down somewhere to get over the (lovely) shock! image

  • Angel82 wrote (see)

    I don't think i've passed the pencil test since I was about 13! Apparently you are meant to do the same test for your bum image  That would scare me if I failed that one. 

     Me neither Angel; sadly the test failure isn't a recent thing, lol.

    I thought the bum test meant under your bum too, hahahahahahaha!!!!  Thankfully i think i'd pass that one, but I must test out the bum cheek version.  Now, whose pencil can I use...... *pads off in search*

  • p.s. good news Frodo imageimageimage
  • XFR Bear wrote (see)
    I must read some more Caitlin Moran, she was brilliant when she wrote for NME/MM (can't remember which) and she was only about 18 then so I imagine she's even better now.
    Have you read "How to be a Woman?" Very funny. You need to take some of it with a pinch of salt but it's mostly spot on.
  • I did sneak a quick look when I was in Smith's at the weekend, looked good.
  • Don't get me started on Liz Jones .... completely barking psycho b1tch doesn't even cover half of it ... I'm not surprised all her neighbours turned against her.  All that trying to impose her idea of a country idyll on them ... 'rescuing' animals when she has no idea how to look after the properly .... treating them as furry people and being surprised when they're not impressed with cashmere blankets and food from Harrods deli ..... image

    At least the sperm stealing didn't work and she hasn't bred anymore of her kind.

  • image  I feel compelled to read her stuff to see what she's all about, but I think it would send me into a blind rage, and i'd wish I hadn't read it, so i'm trying to resist....
  • Don't do it lee, I just googled to see what she looked like, ended up reading a bit about her anorexia. Was very poor me, and screamapillar is right, she clearly wanted to be a model but hasn't the face for it. I would've liked to be a model, but I'm 5'1" with hips, bum and boobs. Had I spent my whole life lamenting that would've been quite dull.
    * I never really wanted to be a model.
    Also, the pencil test thing, doesn't really bother me. I bet Kelly Brooke would fail too!
  • 'How to Be a Women' is proper laugh-out-loud funny. It also made me spend a good few weeks saying 'down with the patrimony'. My Mother was bought it for her birthday. Although I am pleased she's re-embracing her inner strident feminist, I'm not sure she needs to read so many intimate details of Catilin's early life.

    XFR - Caitlin's 'Celeb Watch' column in the Times on a Friday is worth the price of the online subscription by itself.
  • I'm not in a phenomenally bad mood for no reason, nor do I feel like ripping someone's head off given the opportunity.  I'm not sick of disappointment, frustration and abject boredom at work and I absolutely love being spoken to like a thick as mince piece of shit that my boss scuffed his shoe on whilst he blatantly ignores the fact that his other secretary is leaving me to do all her work.  At 38 years old I'm not feeling like I've achieved nothing and am going nowhere because I've tried to do right by folk only to be shat on from a great height and now every landlord in town is wholly adverse to having my business inhabit their shitty run down hovel of a premises, lest they should have to pay some money toward its upkeep.  I'm not wavering between screaming and howling and I feel full of energy and ready to take on the world.  I'm also not in desperate need of one peaceful day when I'm not working, taxi driving, working some more and mediating between my children and their (f**king useless fat flacid cock) father.  I can remember the last time I had even so much as an hour to myself, which is probably why I've taken to hiding in the kitchen for the past three nights from the constant tirade of shitty television reality shows and a teenage boy who appears to have reverted to his pre school years whilst pestering the cat all night, causing his sisters to constantly nag him to shut up.

    In short...... AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!  And anyone who thinks they're brave enough to take the wine away from me - don't bother because you will lose.

    Thank you and good night.  image

  • *pours CD more wine*

    *and leaves some chocolate for good measure* image
  • I hate bring crazy. I've made some progress now I hate myself for it.

  • Sorry folks, I know there are people - some on a here - who have it way worse than I do and I'm probably acting like a spoilt brat.  Just need to let off some steam, haven't had chance to run at all lately and could really do with a day to myself but am loading tons of guilt upon myself about leaving the (teenage) kids at the weekend (and need to work anyway).

    Will buck up soon enough  image

  • CD you don't need to be sorry for how you feel. You can't control it and you have every right to rant, especially here!
    Whatever other people are facing it doesn't change your situation or how you feel about it.
    I think all things truly are relative to your own experience.
    Hope you feel better soon x
  • The whole idea of this thread is to allow ou to let off steam.  It doesn't matter how big or small your frustrations are as long as you let them out and don't allow them to fester.  So carry on ranting CD, and I'll carry on listening and not judging.
  • Yeah, what Caz and SOLB said. Hugs to CD and SOLB (((( ))))
  • CD best to let it out you can't help how you feel about things

    I think I would fail the pencil CASE test - however they still get me free drinks in the right top and underpinning
  • My mother first showed me the pencil test.  I was 12.

    To say I was mortified would be a vast understatement!  I did try it though...and passed.  I suspect these days I'd also pass the butt test.  In fact I suspect I could probably support a brick.

  • CD - that was a fabulous rant!

    Frdo - great news about the car .................... jealous?  Moi?

  • I thought the idea of the pencil test was that it had to fall to the floor - so you put it under your boobs/arse and if it drops, you are pert?
    I think the other test is the cleavage test?

    (Sorry, USB - but it is bleedin' miraculous!)
  • I'm not at all pert but have so little up top  that I pass the pencil test!  What's cleavage then?
  • Actually, that would make sense Frodo, which means I failed the bosom one but could pas the butt one now with flying colours, bunting and a mahoosive sign pulled ass! 

    Trying to decide who will be the recipient of my pending screaming hissy fit.  The daughter who has been in the bath for the bast 45 minutes with crappy teen moosic invading my kitchen bunker or the hormonal son who announced he has "only been on the phone 20 minutes" (teen time = 40-60) when I asked if it would be possible to speak to my OH who I won't see for another two weeks. 

    Please tell me thats not Justin Beiber trying to be Justin Timberlake filtering in to my kitchen....

  • Mr CD

    I think you may actually be *the* most tolerant person on this planet and I really honestly love the way you can take me from a dispicably black mood to actually feeling able to converse with the people around me.  You know exactly how to bring me out of the black pond, you shit.  Three years ago (jeez, really that long?) I would have run but you know what, I'm really glad you're on my side because whilst I'd fight a legion to protect you, I know you'd fight the plague for me.

    Feck me, I've gone soft in my old age!  

    I'm away to watch prawns and snort Persil

  • Awwwwww CD that's lovely. I was wondering how you were feeling now
  • Stil a bit fractious, lovely but not as destructive as earlier.  Now chilling with Elbow and feeling V guilty about my full on proper stroppy! 

    Now, why aren't you in bed missy?  image

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