Things you want to say but can't

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Comments

  • Dear security man,

     You are a terrible security officer. To cap it all your performance today of leaping around with a clipboard trying to swat a wasp was pitiable. I did not obey your cries of "KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!!!" because I am a buddhist. This also the reason I do not clobber you.

  • Dear woman in Micra...

    Was there any reason why you were doing 20 on a 50 road, or could you simply not find 3rd??? image

  • Liz Jones - you are a boil on the face of society. I found your recent confession about sperm stealing astounding, especially the claim that all women over 32 will employ any method possible to have a baby. I guess you'd define me driving my husband to the vasectomy clinic as some form of subconscious desire to breed? How you believe yourself to be a feminist is incredible.

    Then, today, you pitch in against runners. Oh dear, you miserable, craggy faced, chemical-enhanced, morbidly deranged joy-void. I pity you and your little world of hate and loathing. And misconceptions. Your inability to see, let alone, understand anyone else's point of view makes you insular, neurotic, turgid and not a little disturbed.

    I would say 'get help' but you've previously mentioned your two therapists. Sack 'em, they're not doing you any good. Move out of the country, join a club, perhaps a running club or a yoga club, see what you're missing. Then tell us that all runners are smug, smelly and saggy.
  • Who is she?
  • Daily Mail columnist.
  • Explains a lot!

  • Angel82 wrote (see)
    Who is she?
    AllNew wrote (see)
    Daily Mail columnist.
    That says all you need to know, really.
  • That article is really funny!  If running makes your boobs sag, and does nothing for your bum, then I have no idea why my boobs have gone up 2 sizes and my bum is more toned than ever before in my life.  Must be the swimming then, lol.
  • I'm nearly 40 and my boobs still pass the pencil test.
  • She gets paid to write that drivel? image
    <thud>
  • AllNew wrote (see)
    I'm nearly 40 and my boobs still pass the pencil test.
    Yup!! image
  • well done to your hubby and his super sperm for getting you pregnant in the 1st month of trying and i clearly do not need to know every single thing that goes with such pregnancy and babies

    i however will now go onto my 9month of trying nice and quietly

     jealousy maybe but really do we really need to know that the quavar u just ate will make an appearance in less than 10mins - no!!

  • *Frodo* wrote (see)
    She gets paid to write that drivel? image
    <thud>
    It's hard to believe but she is even worse than those miserable cows on "Loose Women" and I'd happily shoot the lot of them.
  • Aye. It does make you think of the old argument about the media: Do we favour a particular paper / news channel because it reinforces our existing views and therefore that outlet must display those views at all times, to keep its readership / viewers happy? Or does our media of choice feed on our fears and vulnerabilities, over time increasing those fears and vulnerabilities, so the reader seeks out that paper for familiarity and comfort in a world they believe to be alien and dangerous?

    Personally, when it comes to the Mail, I think the latter. The Express is worse.
  • Blimey what a load of cobblers - "Jogging only exercises the front of your thighs"??!?!
  • I think people buy the paper that makes them think they're "right"... and that applies to both the left and the right.  image  e.g. "I've already made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts..."
  • She is obviously a very insecure person to only see the negative in everyone else.  As a comedy writer I think she is fabulous, but I suspect that isn't the angle she thinks she is taking.
  • A friend of mine reads a different paper every day, to keep his views challenged. It's a interesting concept. He's still a lefty tho, so I wonder if he reads the right wing press with a big dose of scepticism and the left wing press with a smile on his face?

    Of course, there is another view:

    Jim Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers: The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; And The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

    Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?

    Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.
  • oh good grief I just read the sperm-stealing article... image FFS!!!
  • I feel bad. I've made you all read the Mail so their readership figures will increase, adding to their terrible claim that they are the country's most popular newspaper.
  • AllNew wrote (see)
    The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; And The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is. Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun? Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.


    LOL!!!!

    So, I belong to the group of people who actually do run the country???  Who'd have thunk it...

  • I don't read any paper, so does that mean that I don't live in this country, or that I don't care about the country, or that I don't even recognise what a country is?
  • I only "run the country" on a Sunday... Part-timer...! image
  • SuperCaz wrote (see)
    I don't read any paper, so does that mean that I don't live in this country, or that I don't care about the country, or that I don't even recognise what a country is?


    No, if the latter, you'd be a young American woman trying to win Miss World.

    I've never passed the pencil test.  I could probably hold a whole pencil case in place image

    The Daily Mail is unspeakably awful.  I can't believe so many people read it.... *shivers*

  • Lee the Pea wrote (see)
    SuperCaz wrote (see)
    I don't read any paper, so does that mean that I don't live in this country, or that I don't care about the country, or that I don't even recognise what a country is?


    No, if the latter, you'd be a young American woman trying to win Miss World.

    I've never passed the pencil test.  I could probably hold a whole pencil case in place image

    The Daily Mail is unspeakably awful.  I can't believe so many people read it.... *shivers*

    I don't think i've passed the pencil test since I was about 13! Apparently you are meant to do the same test for your bum image  That would scare me if I failed that one. 

  • I'm a bit afraid to ask, but what is the pencil test?  I've never heard of it.
  • Where you see if you can hold a pencil up or not by placing it under your boob

     Never heard of it for the bum though image

  • I've heard of it for your bum.  If you can hold it between your cheeks then you have strong muscles (or a bum that is very big and the fat holds it in place).
  • Ah, that makes it less scary.  I thought it was like for your boobs, and if you put a pencil under your bum cheek and it stayed put then you have a saggy bum!

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