Crap at relationships

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  • Lee the Pea wrote (see)
    I wee gift >>snip<< when unexpected,
    A niche market surely... image
  • Yeah that's the sort of attitude I like Lee, one ex about ten years ago had a real thing about zebras, and I had great fun going round finding gifts that fitted in with that image
  • Nam wrote (see)
    Lee the Pea wrote (see)
    I wee gift >>snip<< when unexpected,
    A niche market surely... image


    HAHAHAHAHA, some guys i'd happily get the shears out for imageimage Just kidding of course *coughs*

    Yes, I am a good girl Bear imageimage

  • Lee the Pea wrote (see)
    Nam wrote (see)
    Lee the Pea wrote (see)
    I wee gift >>snip<< when unexpected,
    A niche market surely... image


    HAHAHAHAHA, some guys i'd happily get the shears out for imageimage Just kidding of course *coughs*

    like you said... "giving is as good as receiving"... image
  • Lee the Pea wrote (see)

    Yes, I am a good girl Bear imageimage

    image
  • image Hmm, can I retract that statement now please!

    ooh x-post.  That was meant for Nam! image

  • image I will confess to be one of life's card senders and gift buyers ... just little things that I know people will like or a card which will remind them of happy times or something funny ....  when people least expect.  I think that's more fun than a huge splash of stuff at birthday or Christmas.

    And I love to get flowers and I'm very lucky that I quite often do from friends image

  • That's a very nice thing to be TP image
  • No bird has ever bought me flowers...

  • image A mate has got me flowers in the past. Didn't know what to do with them. I'm not anti flowers don't get me wrong just was a bit strange. Got them a vodka and coke as a gift back.
  • Lots of interesting views and identifiable situations here for me - Iron Min's original post, spot on - ditto Mr W's original post - so I'm not going to repeat any of it.

    'Cept to say, I find that its the friends/colleagues etc etc who ARE in long term partnerships who give the well meaning advice - without really understanding exactly what you are missing because they arent, if that makes sense?

    That is of course the happy ones.

  • CazSoul wrote (see)

    She has said she doesn't want to kiss any more frogs which to me is limiting your choices, you can't judge somebody purely on how they look... there is more to the book than the front cover....


    Now, I don't see what's wrong with limiting your choices. I certainly limit mine. I like being on my own and if I give that up it's going be for someone who blows my mind - not just someone I think is ok, in the hope that something might grow if I keep at it long enough (GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!! image).  

    It's not all based on looks of course as that would be ridiculous, but as a friend once told me - you've got to feel it in your pants. Another friend told me that when you have children, the attraction side can suffer, so it has to be pretty solid to begin with (ok, now I need to get MY mind out of the gutter).

    I have a date next week by the way image

  • LJB1 wrote (see)

    'Cept to say, I find that its the friends/colleagues etc etc who ARE in long term partnerships who give the well meaning advice - without really understanding exactly what you are missing because they arent, if that makes sense?

    That is of course the happy ones.

    That's so true LJB1. I spent 10 years with the wrong person and we were both miserable for at least half that. I understand what people are missing because in some ways I miss it myself, but on the other hand when I was in unhappy relationships I missed the freedom of my single life.
  • Madame O

    I was going to edit my post to add something along the lines of exactly what you have just said image

    Good luck with the date! This one might be the princeimage

  • Thanks image Although he might think I'm the frog!
  • All this talk of kissing frogs - isn't that French kissing?

    Good luck on your date Madame0.

  • Hey Madame O - you summed up exactly how I feel. image  Hope you have fun on the date.

  • The One and Only XFR Bear wrote (see)
    Yeah that's the sort of attitude I like Lee, one ex about ten years ago had a real thing about zebras, and I had great fun going round finding gifts that fitted in with that image


    This kinda thing bear?

  • Thats a great post MadameO, and enjoy date!
  • LJB1 wrote (see)

    Lots of interesting views and identifiable situations here for me - Iron Min's original post, spot on - ditto Mr W's original post - so I'm not going to repeat any of it.

    'Cept to say, I find that its the friends/colleagues etc etc who ARE in long term partnerships who give the well meaning advice - without really understanding exactly what you are missing because they arent, if that makes sense?

    That is of course the happy ones.

    Yeah, spot on.  I get 'advice' from my friends, and i'm always grateful because I know they care, but many of them have no clue of what it is like to be really lonely, as an adult, as they've all been in relationships since the beginning of time.  They are well meaning though, and I do love them for it! image

    Best of luck Madame O, you'll have to spill the beans and tell us how it goes!!!

    Parky, i'm not sure it is a good idea to put your photos on a public site like this! imageimage

  • Ueah the ex had a dress like that one (not the face mask!).

    Good luck Madame O image

  • I've just been rejected.... image image image image image image

    ...by the 2011 VLM image

    phew
  • Nam - its actually not really blokes where I get the leeching its anyone - they suck the joy out of me so I struggle to be me.  I have knocked back a couple of potential leeches this year - both interested blokes and others

    TP and Lee - I get the misunderstood thing all the time.  I like being with people (apart from the leeches).  I am the same with men and women but you can see the blokes thinking its something more. 

    Chemistry is so important.  Unfortunately for me the blokes I have had the best chemistry with recently have all been married - now with some of them we have still enjoyed the chemistry and banter without getting all angst about it and why should we.  I think the chemistry you have with someone is partly influenced by what you both have going on in your lives at that time and if they are happily attached thats part of who they are and contributres to the chemistry and I would rather enjoy it as it is (a good friend) than spoil with by changing part of their lives.  You just accept it as it is and suddenly you are happy and can enjoy your time with them as you know where you stand.

    None of my friends are in my position so they don't offer advice and don't understand.  Ironically I am the women that a few male married friends joking refer to as their second wife

    As for the nice friend I love him as he is now but he woukld bore me stupid as a boyfriend so why risk a good friendship

  • Lea - lol.

    Maddy - I agree with you on the misunderstood and the chemistry and the married men.<nods sagely>

    I am naturally a chatty conversationalist, but it can be construed(and is at times) something more - particularly where you have shared interests or similar jobs or work related similarities.  And isnt it always the way that when you want someone to see it 'as more' they dont!image

    I would just like to add that all my close friends give me advice with my best interest at heart because they care - and have witnessed first hand the difficult times I have gone through over the past couple of years.

    At the end of the day you make your own life - and I am happily doing that right now waiting for nature at some point to take its natural course!

  • RICKSTER wrote (see)
    We should have a Runner's World dating thread for all of us running singles.

    Yes please image I someone good at arranging? However might need a panel chosing one for me as my choice always end up being a very bad choice?!?

    And like some of you I wonder why blokes always insist on younger women. Giving up now on online dating sites as most men contacting me are between 47 and 71....71 come on what on earth were you thinking about??? Have even written this on my profile;

    " I am very young at heart so I am NOT looking for a sugar daddy, so if you are above 40 and/or married do not bother."

    But doesn't seem to matter as men don't read the profiles obviously.

    PS I have bought both flowers and chocolates to men and I can pick up the bill in restaurants too....although some say men will not stay with me because of this?!?

  • Zaba wrote (see)

    PS I have bought both flowers and chocolates to men and I can pick up the bill in restaurants too....although some say men will not stay with me because of this?!?

    Personally that rather surprises me, I'd see it as a positive thing. I guess if you never let the man do anything for you then that's slightly different
  • The One and Only XFR Bear wrote (see)
    Zaba wrote (see)

    PS I have bought both flowers and chocolates to men and I can pick up the bill in restaurants too....although some say men will not stay with me because of this?!?

    Personally that rather surprises me, I'd see it as a positive thing. I guess if you never let the man do anything for you then that's slightly different

    If someone asks me out then that person should pay the bill, but once in a relationship or a few dates down the line I am more than happy to pay every other time. I think couples should do an equal amount of sweet things for each other not one takes and one who gives. But my friends (females) think that makes me too strong and independent for any guy to want me?!?

  • It surprises me too but possibly they were the wrong men in the first place so whatever you did or didn't do it wasn't going to work.

    I was pondering relationships today on my plod ... I've got good health, great friends, enough money to do what I need to and a bit more to do what I want to, great job which I love ... so many other people don't have all of these though they deserve them ... so what gives me the right to think I should have a relationship which works?  Maybe because I have all the rest, this is the one which will elude me.

    Friend of mine who died of cancer a few years ago had everything apart from the good health and when we talked about it she came to the conclusion that maybe she didn't have that because somehow, because she had the rest, she could cope with the illness better than others.

    I don't think I would any of the stuff I had to find the missing bit ... it would have to be as well as.

    Just a thought .... image

  • Hmmm not sure I buy that arguement....hmmm.

    When I was in India I saw people that had absolutely nothing, no money, no food, no home and shunned by family and friends, completely outcast because they had Leprosy or another disease or disability.

    All bar one was definitely the wrong men, I really can't pick them.

  • Indeed there are people in the world who have nothing. 

    I wasn't arguing anything, I was speculating on my good fortune, and that of my late friend, to have what we have and cope with what we don't have.

    Though many would not consider it fortunate to die at 45, she'd have said she had a great life and left behind a lovely family and great friends.

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