Mental illness and running

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  • Overwhelmed. Need a lie down. Very happy children
  • But so so annoyed I wasn't brave enough to face a fear.
  • Yes. Someone did something incredibly kind. I'm used to giving, not receiving.
  • Frodo likes this (y)
  • Solby likes this too ..... and thinks it probably just wasn't the time to face the fear!

    Any news from Bricki? Hope today wasn't too stressful
  • After new year, I will try again
  • image

    I like to hear about kindness. 

    And I'm pleased to report in that I ran. It was only 25 mins because by the time I'd faffed that was all the time I had left.

    And on the work front I'm being moved for 2 months either this Friday or on Monday. I've met the girls I'll be working with and they are lovely and all really welcomed me. I have a day off tomorrow to go to The Sanctuary with some friends so I'm going to really chill out and relax. image

  • Fab news soupy, on all fronts. It sounds like work are finally being proactive
  • Ooo awesome running image



    I am thrilled the girls you'll be working with have been so welcoming. Is the move related to your complaint?
  • Yes, the move is related to my complaint. An investigation has started against the Senior manager and one of my colleagues so its all a little awkward. 2 months should be time for any recommendations to be implemented and I'll be in a completely different part of the hospital with a whole new management team.  I'm a bit nervous but looking forward to it. It will be nice to go to work without a huge anxiety attack every day. 

    No news from Bricki yet? 

     

  • Oh Soupy I am so pleased for you image thank goodness you can move forwards without everything weighing you down.



    I've done lots of thinking today, pretty sure I've made no progress other than eating a ridiculous amount of icecream but I guess that's just the way it is sometimes
  • Or should we call him Bing.  I wonder if David Bowie is going to be calling round to do a duet with him.

    Glad the move is in place.  I can certainly understand that work issues can only be made worse if there are problems with colleagues so great to hear the new team is so welcoming.  Well done on getting out for a run too.

    Bit of trying day for me again.  Once a week I have lunch with a colleague who does know about my depression - the only work colleague that does know.  It just depends on how I'm  feeling though as to if I feel up to it.  If I'm not that it can just make it feel like a very long trying day where I get no break at all.  Today was like that but I do find it difficult to get my colleague to understand the problem and she also tends to be very tempremental and easily offended.  She is likely to take it personally if I say I don't feel up to it.  It's also difficult with colleagues who are expecting us to go to lunch together to explain why we're not.  It's a difficult one but I probably need to bring the subject up on one of my better days.  Whilst I can express myself well on here, I find it very difficult to do so face to face with someone.

     

  • LOL at Bing! image

    LR - can you meet your colleague fortnightly instead of weekly? Might take some pressure off you perhaps, and then you might be able to go even if you don't feel up to it at the time. Sometimes what we think we can't cope with, we actually can when we get there. I generally get out for a run or swim at lunch. It clears my head and means I don't have to be sociable. Could you do something similar?

    I'm just about to make a mug of hot chocolate - anyone else want one?

     

  • Mmm - nice - but I do tend to favour my herbal teas, particularly as a nightcap.

    I think you're right about being able to cope when getting there but I think what I need to work towards is an understanding that there are sometimes bad days when I might need to cancel at short notice.  I find that most people seem to take comfort in being with other people all the time and don't seem to have any concept of my need for time on my own.  I find that a times, the pressure of having to try to keep talking to somebody very stressful.  Every other day I do go to lunch on my own.  I'm also careful to ensure that I don't end up leaving the office at the same time as someone else so as not to have to walk into town with someone.  After four hours at work I usually find I am really desparate for that space and 'me time'.  In turn, though I tend to feel guilty about acting in that way.

    SoLeigh Bells - ice cream is just one of those things I have to be careful about keeping in the house as a whole tub is likely to get consumed in one sitting.  Has to be bought in small quantities.

     

  • for what it's worth I don't like to be with people all of the time, or even most of the time. I can't cope without being by myself for periods of time. I don't think it's something to feel guilty about. 

    I very rarely buy icecream and stuff and only buy junk food in small quantities when I really want some otherwise I'd just eat it anyway even if I didn't want any, I feel sick and fat now so it wasn't an especially good idea. I feel a bit better about the issue that's been rolling round my head all day but only cos I've accepted I don't know the answer yet.

    I really have to go to bed. I feel very reluctant to sleep, don't know why,  

  • Thanks.  I think one of the crucial thinkgs for me is accepting the way I am without feeling guilty about it.  The guilt is certainly a big problem.

    Hope you;re getting some sleep SOLeigh  Bells.  Things are obviously on your mind.  I can certainly relate to the junk food problem,  If I have anything of that kind in the house it so soon hunted down and eaten even though I don't need it at all.  It probably doesn't help that there's a petrol station nearby that is open until 23.00 which means a junk food run is still an option up to that time.  That's where the wine came from on Monday night.  Not junk food as such - but the prinicple's the same.

  • I can relate to that too LR. I enjoy time on my own and always have done. I don't think thats a particularly bad thing so long as we are not totally isolating ourselves. I'm making an effort to spend time with friends now because I shut myself off completely over the dark days the last 12 months. A bit of "me" space is still a relief though and sometimes thats what gets me out running. 

  • *throws a snuggly blanket onto the floor*

    This is for hugs. You can throw them onto the blanket, take one or just roll around in them. Alternatively, sit on the blanket with a big mug of tea and someone will come along to wrap you in one.

    Mr by eck is off work poorly. He's off to the drs tomorrow. I have succeeded in upsetting miss by eck and my parents already today. It's so easy when you know how! She is developing a very sweet tooth and her nnormally svelte figure is becoming more rounded. We said she was only allowed sweets on a Sunday because her trousers are getting tight and she isn't doing as much exercise now it's winter. I am the worse mother in the world according to my dad.
  • Thats a lovely blanket by'eck. *throws a hug onto it* 

    image

  • I was a chubby kid and it was a sad start to life being bullied (not too badly) and made to feel inferior about something you aren't old enough to understand how to control. I understand parents can go the other way and be too regimented and worried about their child's weight but I wish mine had done something to change our diets, get us moving or explained the link between unhealthy food and weight.

    I think as an adult a lot of self confidence problems stem back to experiences in childhood.

    It's not being mean for the sake of being mean its just protecting them from making a decision they'd regret.

    I have no sight in my left eye, it could have been corrected but I hated wearing my glasses. My mother now says 'I warned you that you'd regret it if you didn't wear them' I was five and incapable of understanding the weight of the decision. I think weight and food choices can be the same. (though not in every case)
  • 'lo peeps

     

    i'm another one who needs and enjoys "me" time image

  • The last few days have been horrible for sad sad news about people I love. I am not being very good at being a friend to those in need and keep getting it all wrong. It's all feeling a bit relentless, and the other sad things are all crowding together and making it seem like I don't care enough about the others.



    Sorry this all sounds a bit cryptic, it's not supposed to it's just none of it is my secret to tell. I've just been talking to solbsis and I can feel how much I've let her down, something sad happened to her but I was still crying about something else too and I think she needed me to drop the other stuff and be fully with her in her news (not that we didn't talk about it and I didn't care but me crying about something unrelated to her problem hasn't helped her feel validated and cared about.)



    I think I'm making it worse trying to explain!



    Tea anyone?
  • You can only do your best SOLB, and if you're emotionally drained it's tough no matter how much you feel you "should".

     

    Oooh yes please to tea image

  • Tea please. Its been a bit relentless here too. Mr by eck is off to the drs
  • I think we need biscuits too image
  • I have some tiny tangerines for anyone who wants something a little healthy
  • Yay for biskwits! image

  • (I have choklit ice cream too, but don't tell the mini's)
  • But you've told the grown ups image

     

    *holds out empty bowl*

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