Mental illness and running



  • Hi SOLB

    Glad you liked the link

    Try this one

  • Oo thats incredible big D!!
  • Morning guys, I am busy pulling faces at the rain image. I want it to stop cos I have a new hair cut and for the first time in two years I have bothered to blow dry it....shallow? Me? 

    Hope you all have a good Monday

    Lots of love


  • Hello all....just a quick pop in to say morning!

    SOLB, bet your hair looks gorgeous...I know the hair feeling! Had all mine cut off about 8 weeks ago and now I have to blow dry and/or straighten it everyday...otherwise I look like a poodle.


  • Aww thanks mima ... ditto I fear, I cut all the curls off - this is good cos it was stupidly long, I had forgotten about the mandatory preening required post haircut though! 


     Not the most flattering photo in the world but it looks like this image 

    I've just been to see the therapist. She didn't have any advice about the inhalers/peak flow etc. She said I should try asking the doctor about helping with allergies to see if that reduced the need for the reliever inhaler but that doesn't help at all with the steroid inhaler or the peak flow. I'll have a chat with the doc and see if she has some ideas, though I suspect she'll just tell me to take the extra Quetiapine (it's prescribed to take as and when I'm too anxious/paranoid) and I don't want to add more zombietus. I think I'm just going to have to put up with it for a while then I'll stop thinking about it and the negative associations might drop off, after all my logical mind knows it's just plastic inhalers and not anything to do with past abuse. Stupid subconsicous stop being silly, I wanna be able to run again! 

    I don't have anything I have to do now, it's raining and I don't know what to do with myself. The therapist told me to do something nice cos we'd had a tough session but I can't think of anything nice. 

    Mima I thought water just ran off ducks backs; didn't realise it gave you guys frizz too 

    I have a gym induction tomorrow (if my BP is high enough this time) am looking forward to it; I've gained one and a half stone and done no exercise in the last 11 months though so am going to really struggle with how hideously unfit I am. Oh well only one way to get better, so desperately hoping that it works this time (it's gotta stand more of a chance now we are treating the asthma even if it's just repeated use of the reliever inhaler until the preventer builds up in my system.)

    Skive off work you lot, I wanna do something fun with you.  


  • wit woo...VERY pretty SOLB! And you look pretty much how I imagined you too! All my curls are just a bit fluffy if I don't straighten it. Yup...ducks get frizzy too!

    SOLB - would one of those chamber things help for your inhaler maybe? Not too sure but maybe give it a go and see how it pans out? x

  • Luckily I just so happen to love frizzy ducks (((Mima)))

    annoyingly OCD solb won't accept the spacer getting full of festering germs and stuffs (irrational?) and had a tough time solb doesn't like the inhaler as is. I suspect I will have to JFDI


  • Oh bums...tell OCD SOLB to shoosh...but probably not irrational at all actually. I'm just very lucky to never have need an inhaler. My ex step daughter needed one as her tw*t of a a mother refused to take her to the GP when she had a cough for 3 weeks, ended up with the poor child throwing up in her sleep and wetting her bed she coughed so much. Grrr. She hated the inhaler too...and that was as a 4 year old so I don't think you're irrational at all xxx

  • SOLB, I sterilise Moo's spacer in Milton. He is brilliant about taking it cos he knows it makes his chest better. You can also take the canister out of the plastic case to sterilise the mouthpiece of the Inhaler itself.
  • I shall try having a little word with OCD solb before the doctors on Weds, may ask for a spacer to try. 
    Grrr to nasty mother of ex stepdaughter, what an awful thing to do. Hate the thought of a little one suffering. Just makes my blood boil; neglect is as much abuse as anything else - I can't imagine how anyone can be devoid of the natural urge to protect children. (I can't imagine how people inflict pain on them either but they at least fit neatly into the 'monsters' catergory - just don't get how people are so indifferent to someone else's suffering, especially if they are powerless to stop it for themselves) 
    I've just googled Milton by 'eck, will go get some to try with spacer, seems like a good idea. I have been sterilising the mouthpiece of the inhalers, it'll just take some getting used to. I suppose I'll probably get used to it in time or develop some convoluted ritual that makes it feels safe!
    Having a rubbish time after therapy today feeling sad and shamed. Is a tough path but I know it will ultimately be worth it. Gonna pop out for a walk in between rain showers. 
    Onwards and upwards I suppose image  
    Lots of love my little crazies and crazy supporters xxx 

  • I'm a weirdo who LOVES the smell of Milton. Properly love it! I occasionally use it for the teapot (god knows why)!

    Hope you have a good walk SOLB...I'm getting a lift home from work boy that I used to "see" because my foot is about to fall off. OW.


  • Hi y'all! How's it going?

    By Eck, it took me much longer to recover from my marathon than I thought it would, it surprising how much damage you inflict on yourself. My race went well, got a PB but it was tough!

    That's a lovely photo of you SOLB, your hair looks lush! I hope you had an enjoyable walk.

    Mima, loving the smell of Milton is weird. And surely it taints the taste of tea?

  • I didn't use it on Moo's bottles but I've used it on other bits and pieces that I didn't trust to be germ free. It smells ok but I'm not convinced it doesn't leave a taste.

    Trying a slightly different way, could you brush your teeth and use mouthwash before using the Inhaler. That would kill mouth germs. My bro has ocd (food) so I'm used to things I do being illogical or quite difficult for him to understand.

    SOLB, hair looks lush image
  • I've never known it to taint but then I'm not bothered by it - when I used to sterilise my brothers bottles and they were always fine with it...bottles, teats, name it it got Milton'd. I used to sniff the water as the tablet dissolved.

  • Thank you for the compliments guys image (I'm working on just accepting nice things gracefully instead of shouting it down) 

    I've just baked bread, the house smells yummy but the loaf feels a bit heavy (think I kneaded it for too long)  .. I can't test it and see cos it's for my Dad - tempted to make another one but I can't be bothered with the resulting washing up.  

    I'm sleepy but I feel a little bit lonely tonight so don't wanna go to bed and be more lonely. 

    I've never even heard of Milton (well I've heard of the poet of course) will have to investigate. Sorry to hear about your brother by 'eck it's a blimming pain in the bum. How's he doing now? Has he tried exposure therapy? - I'm wondering whether to request that the therapist and I do some cos I think the rituals are getting worse and I don't want to get lost in it all - it already wastes so much time and makes me so miserable. 

    Gym induction tomorrow, gonna do some star jumps outside to raise my BP. Scared but looking forward to getting back to exercise and real life.

    I missed the positive news out; my therapist agreed that I do seem much better so I can have my risk assessment thingie downgraded again image 

    I'm making hot chocolate, anyone else want some?  

  • He is much better. He can now eat a meal with other people and doesn't have to do his own kitchen cleaning and cooking. There are times it gets a bit much and we can't go for a family meal with my toddler son because toddlers make far too much food mess. He spent a long time trying to work out what he could let go of and what he really did need as rituals. Part of it was looking at what he actually did and how it affected him.

    I don't know what you are currently working on with your therapist but they might be reluctant to do too much, especially as it's not long since you had a wobbly patch. I know Mr by 'eck works on little bits at a time and makes sure that they really are embedded into his thinking before moving onto the next thing.
  • That's comforting, I like hearing that people make progress with it cos it always seems like it's too concrete and it'll never go away. Can't imagine being able to let other people do the cleaning and cooking, am genuinely impressed. 

    Mmm you are probably right about the therapist, we are doing trauma therapy - it's more traumatic than the blimming traumas!

    How are you doing darling? Still doing well?  

  • Yeah, I'd like some hot chocolate please SOLB.

    I think it's just that I don't like the idea of milton. I associate with memories of working in a care home (you don't want to know what with).

    That's great news about that other people have agreed you're doing better. Onwards and upwards! image

  • *hands round hot chocolate and flashes a cheeky grin at Ben-o* 

    No I definitely don't wanna know what with *shudders melodramatically* I have no idea how anyone survives working in care homes - think it's a wonderful job though.

    Yep I honestly think the big bad scary wobble is done, just need to work out how to rejoin normal life. Keep trying to jump in then realising I've missed the beat. Can't be too far off, am just gonna keep trying. 

  • Thanks SOLB.

    I quite enjoyed my years in care really. Once you get past doing personal care, body fluids and occasional violence it's good fun. Under-paid and under-valued, but still good.

    Rejoin normal life? Meah, if you want to.

  • Mmmm it's a bit dull doing nothing, very 'exciting' when the crazitus is in full swing but staring at the walls when they aren't full of monsters gets a little dull after a while. I really want to do some voluntary work while I get better but I just can't think of anything I can do that doesn't involve more commitment than I can realistically make. 

    You are a bit of a softy really aren't you?! (Don't worry I won't tell anyone!!)

  • What do you mean "a bit of a softy"? I'm a rough, tough sugar puff! image

    Yeah, most voluntary things eat into your time. But I guess it's about knowing how much time you can realistically give and sticking to it, even when people want more commitment.

  • Awww little sugar puff, that's cute ... errr I mean that's manly. 

    Hmm the problem is I don't know how I'll be from one week to the next so I can't even committ to a regular day. I suspect it'll have to wait for a while longer am still no use to anyone 

    I'm tired, shall we go to bed Ben-o?  

  • Of course it's manly, I'm all macho and butch and stuff! That's how I roll.

    I'm sure you are useful to people, but you're right, you've got to have confidence in yourself that actually you'll be ok in a week's time.

    Bed sounds like a good idea SOLB, night night, sleep well.

  • Night night Ben-o 


  • I'm still tired, wanna go to bed but had better rock over to the gym for induction thingie first zzzzzzzzzzz

    have a good day everyone
  • Hope your gym induction was ok SOLB and try not to fall asleep during it!

  • image I have to go back at 7 when they have a more qualified person on cos of the recently diagnosed asthma 
    Still shattered, just how bad would a nap be? image 

  • have a nap SOLB...really want a nap too.

  • Moo is napping so I am going to climb into bed to read my book and probably nod off. Only problem is the cat curled up on my lap purring...
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