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Sounds like it's going to take a lot of hard work and patience. Fortunately you are a good mother so stay strong and keep believing it's worth it in the end.
Good to hear that.
A need for more cake - that's stating the obvious surely. It's ages since I enjoyed a good battenburg.
I need a bath. then cake.
Good well structured plan. The two together could result in very soggy cake.
I put far too much pressure on my self....just done first 20 miler LSR and was a lot slower than recent runs, and instead of thinking, 'well, LSR's are time on feet and this is your first 20 miler so it's ok', I feel like I've failed and lost any confidence. past few 18 milers have gone well, yet this one was 20secs/mile slower! Grrr.
Sorry, this sounds so selfish and petty and stupid, and there are such bigger things in the world....butthe tiniest thing like this will make me feel like a failure and get me down for days. It's stupid, and I apologise for how stupid it sounds
It's OK, rwtw. I think setting targets and expectation can be an important way of motivating ourselves and helping cope with life in general - but it's difficult to deal with when not being able to do as much as you would like. I've certainly found not being able to run this week has really got me down. I've genuinely been ill so there's a good reason. Even so, what little bit of confidence I had from recent runs has gone with it and I'm faced with having to start all over again. It also makes coping with work difficult. You're definitely not a failure for doing 20 miles at all - in the same way that I'm not a failure if I get out to run again when I'm well.
I often think I need something else to be able to feel better about as once a run has gone badly that gets me down and makes it more difficult for another time. Do you have other targets in your life that could be a focus for positives when the running isn't up to what you'd hope?
Thank you LR. This is good to hear.To top off a glum mood, i just had to spend an hour and a half on the phone to my bank as they had cancelled a standing order without informing me. Not on. They then wouldn't let me make a payment as I don't have telephone banking, and the online site wasn't working. So I was two days late on rent with no way of paying back. Cue me crying down the phone....seemed to just hit that panic button and was all I could do not to have a full on panic attack whilst on the phone.. Eventually sorted this months payment, but not at all happy that they canclled it without informing me. Grrr.
Big hugs (((runwiththewind)))
That is out of order rwtw. I wouldn't be happy either
Rubbish day today. Just didn't feel like setting about battling through yet another week. It's just such an effort all the time and I get fed up with it. A quiet one tonight is definitely in order and hope for better tomorrow.
Big hugs (((By eck))). Is moo still in hospital?
Wimped out of running club tonight. Totally fed up with all now.
Thats good news by 'eck. I assume that means that things are improving a little?
Popping by to offer hugs but everyone is quiet, hope that means you are all good or at least better xxxxxxxxxx
Thanks, SOLB. I've had a bad week but have taken a couple of positive steps last night. I've arranged a meeting with the union at work to discuss where I stand if I have to go for hospital appointments as I wouldn't want to disclose the reason at work. Also, as panic attacks have stopped me getting out with the running club this week, I have e-mailed someone in the club to ask them to pass on a message to the run leader for next week. I'm hoping I would find it easier if the person taking the run knows the problems I'm having.
Hi. I wanted to ask if people here struggled with the mental toughness side of running, especially when they're not well? I've got serious depression and while I find my strength is the best its ever been as I've been going to a GP referral gym group for around 8 months now and can bound/crawl up hills which defeated me in better times, I no longer have the abilility to push on past mild fatigue. I ran my first half marathon without stopping. Admittedly, my second was faster with walking but it was in the USA so very humid and undulating was an understatement.
If I'm really bad and have forced myself to gym class and go on the treadmill, I've only managed 2 mins before my breathing becomes tight and panicky and I have to stop in tears.
Hate that running is so difficult now
Yes, definitely, TTM. The mental side of running is 100% the problem for me. I know I can run reasonably well when I'm OK mentally but that's very rare these days. Treadmill running I find even more difficult. I tried it a while ago when we had the wintry weather and I couldn't get out on the roads. I did a bit more than your 2 minutes but only got as far as 10 minutes before I couldn't bear it any more. Rather a costly gym membership there as I haven't been back since. Sounds like you've got some positives there with your hill work. I know I'm doing OK when I can get up the hill. It opens up so many more options when I can. At the moment getting out at all is proving a challenge for me though.
Hows things with you at the moment, by 'eck?
Hows things with people out there?
I've had a positive response from the person in the running club that I contacted re my panic attacks. She's passed my message onto the run leader for this Thursday so she'll be aware so I hope that will help with getting me running this week again. Only complication is that the person that was scheduled to be leading the run is not going to be doing it now so we'll see how it goes.
Got out for a muddy orienteering session today which went OK. Didn't manage all that much running though - but it's a start.
Things going a bit better but tired out now and another week's work to face. Things are never easy.
I found another job to apply for late last night
Trouble is - it's due in today, and it's an online application so I'm having to madly fill in sections rather than just be able to use a standard CV (I'd tailor it to the job anyway).
I'm not as excited as for the last one but it's still research experience which will be good and I do have an interest. I need some work now as I think it'll be beneficial to me quite apart from the money.
Glad to hear you are settling into a routine by 'eck.
Fingers crossed for you XFR bear.
Job app done - THUD!
Aw boo by 'eck, NG tubes can be a pain