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A belly laugh every time I take a look..
keep it up....
or out.....he he
gaz - glad you're enjoying the thread. BTW got to the Britney farts page in the end..hee hee. did you see the Blasting Bin Laden one?
Both of you please do contribute your personal farting contribute experiences, paricularly running ones......er...that is....those experiences that involve running. Don't be bashful. It's quite cathartic, quite therapeutic to get it out in the open
How does your bum know if its a fart or something else
They do, just do dont they?
V-rap - whoa, gross!!! I can totally see how that happens, but being pre-children myself, that's another reason to add to the list of 'why not to have kids just yet'.
HH - nice one!
Back to my own blow-by-blow account... Well, the aching bum muscles are still with me, in fact they're really bad today. At the moment the jury is still out (probably cos they can't stand the smell) on whether its caused by wind resistance or physical ex**cise. Last night's session in the gym was another cross-training triumph, and the coke certainly worked its magic, I had a badly bubbling belly before I even got there. I clenched hard to avoid polluting the ladies changing room, which I felt was probably a bit too risky. Once up in the gym I strategically selected the machine right under the air-con outlet where its really breezy! My Mummy always told me I should share. A very productive hour was had pumping away on the skiing-doobry. It seems that everyone else who frequents my gym has gone off skiing... no-one stayed on the other machines for more than 20 mins!!! I'm afraid I have no idea if I squeaked or not, since I'd got either MTV or Model Behaviour blasting away on the headphones, however, knowing my predisposition for the "silent but violent" approach, I suspect not a squeak was heard out of me all night (I'm sneaky not squeaky).
HH undoubtedly you are right about the lack of jigging reducing production. Tonight is the first night my physio is permitting me to try running again. So I'm back to the gym (oh, they must really love to see me!) for 4 miles on the treadmill. In preparation I've got a can of coke in the fridge (just in case) and I'm meeting a friend for a pub lunch - should be well fuelled up!
I wonder which generated the most watts per hour. Your use of the "skiing-doobry" (glad to see you use the proper term) or the productive hour of pumping. Sadly, as far as I know, there is no way to currently measure the latter in gyms....perhaps we should campaign for better measures of. I for one would certainly be interested to add that to the list - weight, body fat/bmi, resting fart rate, working fart rate, maximum fart rate.
HH
Fartlek here we go.
An interesting side effect I've noticed as my running progresses is that the average pitch of the anal squeak has gone up as my bum has become more muscular.
This thread is cheering me up enormously during a dreadful day at work.
Hope your day improves...roll on the weekend!
Love your note about changing pitch. I'm jealous and wishing I could experiment with this, but I rarely manage audibility.
HH's idea is a good one!
Thank Crunchie its Friday!
rb, perhaps there's some gender difference going on, the missus is also rarely heard but often smelt.
rb - I hope that the Great Guffer on high confers audibility upon your emissions so that you too can enjoy the delight of morning (day and night) reveille (did I spell that right?). Maybe you just need to really let go one time and see what you can manage...it may be worth wearing ear plugs and protective clothing if you do.
Some of us girls are just made that way!
Unfortunately that generally means everyone thinks we're 'built for childbirth'. See my comment earlier to V-rap and you might see I'm not that keen.
It's probably more to do with the initial expulsion. A wobbly bottom may even add a new dimension to the sound produced!
BTW - I've just realised that I'm wearing my Purple Ronnie Bottom Burp socks today.
HH - I'm thinking of buying Mr RB a Trumpet Trousers birthday card, have you seen them? Most appropriate for any of us lot I'd say!
poooooooooo..........
So what gets everybody else farting?
rb - not seen the Trumpet Trouser cards. Where do you get them from? Is there a website? And MOST IMPORTANTLY, how did your post-coke/pub lunch gym session go?
gaz - I should imagine the rest of the circus were glad to see the back of Nelly. Maybe she should visit rb's gym and see if she can give her a run for her money, though I'm not sure how easy elephants would find using elliptical doofers.
Tarmac Breaker - I'd be somewhat concerned about the state of my lungs if that really were the case
Friday's post-coke&pub-lunch session was disappointing on the farting-front. Pleasing from the point of view that it was my first run in nearly 3 weeks, but I didn't manage to blow my own trumpet at all. However... Sunday morning was more successful. 6 miles round Hyde Park in the 'fresh' morning air produced the desired results. Still nothing audible but I'm sure I noticed a few ducks giving me "G*d these humans are disgusting" looks - and coming from a duck that's got to be bad! Now that I seem to be back on track, I'm looking forward to tomorrow night. Gaz, send Nelly to me, its time for 8 miles of treadmill trumpeting!
Tarmac Breaker - is that name a reference to the power of your emissions? Wow!
And if that's my lungs enacting plan B they're in a worse state than I thought - they should be looking for ways to get more air IN not OUT.