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Thats good news Kinsey. Bad news about the TOTM though, I'm dreading mine returning.
Sophie gave us a good sleep again last night 11pm-7am, shame Joshie woke at 3am but was just a whimper. She seems very settled now on 5 feeds a day, and all still BF, with one bottle of EBM at 10.30pm. Still on her tummy though for sleeping, but I'm slowly relaxing with it a bit more now.
We were going about to some gardens with the neighbours and her boys today but its pouring so its been binned. Such a shame, but hopefully do something this afternoon. Neighbour has kindly taken them all out for walk to splash in puddles before lunch. I do hate it when the rain ruins plans.
Had a nice drink at the pub with the girls in the village last night. Very tame, but good to chat and be out, but I was tired after the drive yesterday. I used to be so good at driving long distances but find it really hard now, and it was only 3.5 hours not exactly a marathon. Weather didn't help I guess and S screaming and the boys messing around. Hmmm! Maybe we do need to buy some DVD players for the car. I've been told story books downloaded onto the iPod are good so might try that next.
Hoping to run tonight if hubbie back in time.
Good luck with the 6 kids TT, rather you than me. Also Lotte I can quite believe it with 6 kids that sort of behaviour. Nightmare.
MM - you are doing sooo well!
and well done JG - it is such a rollercoaster but you are hanging on in there and things will improve drip by drip
things not improving much here but i have a possible plan this evening with hubby to come to an interim agreement on sharing the kids. may or may not work but have discussed with solicitor and he thinks it's worth a try. solicitor actually feels i should 'grab it by the testicles' (altho he used the impolite term) and go to the house with the kids and see what hubby does. but i am not happy at that idea so i will give it a little longer. i still have a bit more patience inside me and i would rather do it the 'nice' way if i can. we have mediation starting at the end of this week, so there is a longer term plan in progress but each day is a nightmare at the moment so we need some way of operating until the mediated solution is apparent (or until it breaks down and we are in court!)
and the biggest news of the century - i have broadband and it works. i have finally joined the 21st century!!!
Good and bad news CM. Let us know how tonight goes, fingers crossed for you.
My Mum has been trying the 'nice' method too with my Dad and it simply isn't working as he is just using her lovely kind nature and taking her for granted just as he always had. Therefore she is starting divorce proceedings on thursday. Am going back next week to keep her company and help her sort the house a bit more, she has soooo much stuff!! Am so not looking forward to the drive though.
Just been to softplay with the boys, me and the neighbour were the only ones there amazingly. Menat the boys all had full run of the sports hall was great and well worth the £3. Right time for tea for the boys and cuppa for me too!! Looks like rain is finally drying up, so might even get a dry run later on.
CM - welcome to the 21st century
- might this mean we see you 'on the dark side' (FB) soon? Good luck for tonight, it sounds as though you are doing everything the fair and correct way so even if your approach doesn't work it should work very positively for you if it does end up in court. Someone suggested that a diary may be useful evidence of your state of mind and ability to cope - if you don't keep one, how about this forum? Sounds as though there are a few people on here who have met you in person too so you have some solid character references.
Sonya, the photo session sounds brilliant, I might see about doing one with Max. We have some lovely photos we have taken of him but the professional ones must be so nice. Did they give you tips about good colours to buy clothes in or anything else?
JT - hope you have made your way through some of your mountain of washing now. I've just hung a load outside (looking furtively around for the 'laundry police' - I think I've got away with it!). Well done on batting the inlaws away too - can't believe they considered parking up on your drive
.
JG - great news about the little bit of weight he has put on - hope the treatments are continuing to work, poor little thing. Hope you have had a more restful day and so sad about your cat, but it sounds as though he had a great last day and died peacefully. (())
Sorry Lotte but I really laughed at your story
- I can't imagine being able to cope with 6 of them, especially when they get so mischievous (I have just spell checked that and can't believe I spelt it right!! 
).
TT - a day with you sounds like fun - can I come?
Kinsey - I guess you have been breast feeding as Aidan is quite old now isn't he? Not sure if your period will be so heavy as by now your uterus should have shrunk back down but be warned my first periods have been really heavy.
I went to a local 'maze' run last night organised by a local running shop. It was 5k (if you took the correct turnings) and up to 4.5m if you went wrong. A couple from my new running club came with me and we took ALL the correct turnings (it helped that we were not first and could see the leaders turning back if they had gone wrong!). The organisers had put signs at some of the road intersections saying 'left' or 'right' and you had to choose which one to take, you would either get a 'u turn' sign or just join up with the proper route after a bit of a detour if you went wrong. Was good fun and nearly won some prizes in the draw afterwards - my number was just 1 out so the guy behind me in the queue won a prize
.
Sorry, have rambled on a bit, hope everyone OK.
JT - we had granny staying this weekend and she kept trying to feed Martha! Weird! Gruffalo sounds good!
Lotte - think your lot have an unfair advantage if they decide to gang up on you!!
Well, having sorted Aidans sleep out I decided yesterday to get rid of Martha's dummys as someone had told me about it aggravating overbites (and I had braces for years) so I got out the posh wooden building blocks I had hidden and we traded off yesterday - seems to be going well so far.
well I was at 0608 - I was steadfastly ignoring shouts of "milk mummy" emanating from the bedroom at the end of the hall
skipped the first night after all - no wonder am not preg!! Andy was out seeing Tim Vine and I was so tired I was almost asleep for half of my working day!
Got high again today.......but have agreed a policy of every second day til peak day because frankly I have things to do!! Lunches, tidying and with the nursery letting Lou have a sleep yest meaning she didn't go down til 9.15 a full hour and a quarter after she was tucked up in bed there are simply not enough hours!!
How poor is that - having a policy on bumping uglies!!
EF - you do make me laugh!
MM ((())) for your mum
Well we did get an interim agreement last night, but OMG he is an 4rse. He is now saying that I have to tell him every time I come into the matrimonial home (for which i am, incidently, still paying half the mortgage - not that that makes a jot of difference) and I can't take anything from the house which doesn't belong solely to me (what?!?!?!). And that I can't take the children from the house without asking his agreement - so I said 'ok then, I will ask you every time we go to feed the chickens, every time I go to my friend's down the lane, every time I go to Tesco'. Honestly!!!! We have agreed a plan of care for the next 11 days where they still spend most of the time at the house, but they come over to my new house for longer periods of time, ramping up to a whole day and an overnighter and being returned to the home at 3pm the following day. We only got to 22 August so we will have to do it all over again in a week or so, until we have an overall plan agreed through mediation.
My solicitor says 'the plan for the next 11 days smacks of his desire to control matters'. He knows my husband well, even though he has never met him!! I spend my first night at my new house on Saturday (without the kids) and they spend their first night there with me on Sunday.
However, I am now feeling like I am selling myself short in this. I will be forever beholden to him and under his control, unless I go for residency of the children. I am now contemplating doing this - I always thought that shared residency was the way to go as it would be in the kids' best interests, but with his controlling nature, I'm not sure that it will be. It's less about what is right for the children and more about him retaining control of every aspect of their life (not that he has ever been interested in it in the past and all the decisions and actions have been mine to take in respect of the kids!). He will be ruthless in the pursuit of an equal share of everything - he wants child allowance for one of the kids now (checked with my solicitor and there is no real reason for that.). It goes into a joint bank account as it is - what is his problem with that!?
JT - thanks. it is definitely a thought and i may talk to my solicitor about it.
not sure re: mortgage. i guess when we know for sure what we are doing about the house. we had it valued last night and she bandied around loads of figures (between 350 and 450k?! that is a BIG difference!!). he then wrote in 'outcomes of mediation' that if he decided to buy me out of the property, we would take an average of 3 valuations and then take off 7% to come to a figure we would agree as the sale price (on the grounds that no-one pays the asking price). i said 'where does 7% come from?' and he said 'i have just made it up.' so i said 'why would i agree to that?' and he said 'why wouldn't you?'. errr - because you have just made it up! i would speak to my solicitor, my financial adviser etc before agreeing a formula for the notional sale price if he was buying me out. i would not go with a formula that he has just made up!!! he thought i was being totally unreasonable...
we then talked about whether we would be on each other's car insurance still. i said i was happy for him to be on mine on the grounds that, if he had the kids for the weekend and his car was OOA, he might as well use mine as it would be more important that the kids could get to parties / activities and i wouldn't want them stuck without transport. he said there was no scenario under which he would ask me for my car (which seems bizarre - but hey). i then said 'i assume you are taking me off your insurance then?' and he said 'i would resent paying the £10 it would cost to make the change'. how grown up is that! so i said he was either being puerile or trying to be funny, and he lost it at me saying 'how dare i accuse him of being puerile' - which i wasn't strictly doing! who was being more grown up in their approach?!
CM- Do you know of anyone who has a shared residency with their children and it works well? Just asking because I know lots of divorced parents and they all go down the route of kids live with one parent and spend weekend/every second weekend with the other and maybe the odd weeknight spent with other parent if they stay close to school etc. The reason why most people do this is because it works best for the children. I did childmind 2 little boys whose parents split while they were with me and they initially tried one week with Dad/one week with Mum but it only lasted a couple of months because the kids couldn't deal with it (they were 5 and 6). I know in your case things are complicated by the fact you work away from home a few days a week. But I agree that you should really seriously consider going for sole residency. From my own observations kids really need one home that they spend most of their time at and have a routine for going to other parents home that is regular and doesn't change every week.
TT ;0)
CM, well done for staying strong and focused in all this. I'm not surprised at your hubby's reaction both initially and subsequently - it's exactly what I'd have predicted and I don't even know him! It sounds as though your solicitor is very switched-on and is making sure you're clear on your options and the best way to handle things. FWIW, I agree with TT that some kind of structured arrangement that doesn't change from week to week is probably best for the kids, if you can both make that work. Re. hubby's comment about calling in social services - I'd suggest from what you've said about him that it would backfire on him completely and he'd be the one to come out of it looking mentally unstable with all his controlling, obsessive tendencies.
((JG)) Sorry you're having such a rotten time with the feeding and Nicholas' weight. It makes me really angry that HVs are so obsessed with weight gain in babies, and I totally relate to the 'naughty schoolgirl' feeling if your LO hasn't gained the requisite amount of weight each week. Kit was born on 75th percentile but dropped down to 25th quite quickly. I believe his birth weight was a sign of my good maternal health rather that his natural weight though, because once on 25th centile he stayed there - and probably still is there but I never have him weighed any more, probably once a year on his birthday more for interest than anything else. But I remember bursting into tears in the clinic one week when he had 'only' gained 3oz that week instead of the 6-8 he'd been gaining up to that point. I bottle fed after giving up on breastfeeding quite quickly - too much of a struggle, found it hard going and couldn't cope with the feeding on demand all through the night while trying to recover from an emergency C-section. But although it was good in some respects to see how much he was getting, it made me completely obsessed with getting a certain amount down him each day rather than letting him determine how much he wanted to take. I got very stressed at feed times if we wouldn't take what I thought he ought to be having - in hindsight it seems crazy but you are so paranoid about getting it right and doing what's best for your baby in those early days. HVs have a lot to answer for in contributing to that paranoia - I have this forum to thank for my continued sanity.
Lotte, that's a FANTASTIC 10K time, especially on such a hilly course. Best I've managed is 43:20 on a flattish one - you are going to destroy your marathon PB next time you run one. And I'm afraid I LOL at your kids' behaviour too - I remember my brother and I being a nightmare and winding our parents up sometimes, and getting such pleasure from doing so!
CC, you're right about us having swapped terrain - my old runs were undulating but nothing too challenging. My new location is definitely hilly - apart from the runs through the woods I've been doing which are undulating rather than hilly. Won't be able to do these runs for much longer in the evenings though - it's scary how much the evenings are drawing in and it's only mid-August.
EF, your posts always make me laugh! I totally get needing breaks from bumping uglies - every day is just too much; don't they realise we have a life too?!
MM, well done for surviving Wales (and the journeys to and fro) with three kids in tow and on your own. Glad Sophie is giving you a decent night now - I do remember suddenly feeling like a proper person again once I started getting unbroken sleep rather than a mad, hormone-ravaged irrational lunatic.
Sonya, hope the photos turn out well. We had some professional ones done when Kit was 6 months old - a local studio was doing an offer. It still ended up costing us a fortune as of course we weren't able to just walk away with the one free photo included in the session! I'd like to get some more up to date ones done now that Kit's older. They had 'official' nursery ones done earlier in the year and they were lovely - he looks so grown up and was posing beautifully!
Caro, hope you survive trip to Newcastle intact! I'm mostly in charge of food shopping in our house but I do notice that it's always more expensive when hubby does it. I'm quite utilitarian in my approach - I buy what we need for the meals I've planned that week and no more, but it does mean that there are very few 'treats' in the house!
Gradually getting stuff unpacked and tidied in the house. Made a list last night of all the electrical work we want done - mainly plug sockets put in and light switches moved. Some of them are in completely weird and illogical places. None of the internal doors fit properly and won't close so we need a job-lot of new doors, and at least three need reversing as they open the wrong way into the rooms and close down the space. Hubby has arranged for a company to come out this afternoon to quote for doors. We found some gorgeous bedroom furniture at the weekend but it's too expensive really - problem is going to be finding something we like that is cheaper now we've fallen in love with this stuff! Had a quote for a bespoke built-in wardrobe with lots of storage space and clever little gadgets but they want £3K just for the wardrobe and that's in the sale! I don't think so! Still trying to decide how we want the lounge. Also need new carpet on the stairs and landing as what's there is worn through in places, and have decided we'll probably replace the laminate in our bedroom with carpet as we don't like the echoey noisiness of it plus it will be cold to step out of bed on to it in the winter - carpet much cosier. So lots to do - quite exciting really!
thanks girls. i agree, i do think the kids are best off knowing where they live instead of being ferried between two locations. but not in a million years will hubby agree to me being the primary carer and having residency of them, and him having rights to them at the weekend / in the week. i will have to fight him every step of the way if i choose to do that. i am only agreeing to a 50/50 split to avoid going through the courts. it is not what i think is in the best interests of the kids really. the longer this goes on, the more i think i am going to be forced to appeal for residency for the kids, as i cannot cooperate with T if he carries on trying to control me as he is doing now. he never goes to the dentist's himself, for instance - i have to nag him; he maybe goes once every 3 years. i always take the kids with me when i go, every 6 months. they have gone with me since they were born. and now he is saying that he hasn't given me agreement to continue taking them to my dentist and he may decide that he wants them to go to his instead. which would probably be fine - but he never goes; and can i trust him to take them? it means taking time off work for an appt after all...
he will want an absolutely rigid 50/50 split of everything to do with the kids. he says i can't sign any forms from school without him seeing them. but his attitude to paperwork is so laissez-faire, that if the form is given to him, it will be lost (like the cheque we got from nursery with the reimbursed fees for J's funded place; like his paper driving licence; like his own birth certificate.) so the only ones who will suffer under this regime will be the kids, whose forms are not sent back at the right time; and there will be more hassle for me trying to sort out the mess that causes.
CM, I think you're going to have to go through the courts to get what's best for the children. Clearly hubby cannot be relied upon to keep on top of the little things that essentially ensure the smooth day-to-day running of their lives, and things will descend into total chaos without one person taking sole charge of all those 'routine' things. A 50:50 arrangement will only work with co-operation and flexibility on both sides, and he is never going to give you that - arrangements regarding children cannot be completely rigid and his reasons for wanting such an arrangement are more about his need to maintain total control over everyone's lives than about what's best for the children. He obviously has a very distorted view of himself and his abilities as a parent if he really believes that what he's demanding will work. It must be a nightmare for you having to stay in the 'marital home' at the moment - I really hope you can decide what path you need to take with regard to custody soon so that you can get out and into your new home.
minks - just been to see my counsellor again and she has made me see the same as you are saying. his need to control me has nothing to do with what is best for the kids. hence saying that i have to get his permission to enter the matrimonial home and to remove anything from it - nothing at all to do with what is best for the kids; everything to do with him having some control, because of course he has no right to enter my house unless i give him permission. i actually said he could have a key, but he says he doesn't want one. so clearly he is playing power games, which really is not a funny thing to be doing.
i am minded to go for mediation but to give less than i was prepared to. i need to make sure i don't end up where i am living apart from him but have no autonomy to do anything because everything needs his blessing (which he will not give). i have always had a problem asking him for anything (time to run, time to go to the hairdressers etc), and he knows that. so if he can manoeuvre me into a position where i have to ask him for agreement for everything, he knows how hard that will be for me.
have just been talking to the nanny as am over in the new house with her and the kids this pm. he has been making her feel uncomfortable, which is really unfair. i will have to make sure he knows he is doing that because i cannot risk her leaving because she can't stand one of her employers...
i know he is hurting like mad right now and doesn't want any of this; and i am trying not to be uncharitable towards him. but when his attitude towards the nanny is causing her problems, then i do find it hard to be sympathetic.
I think you're on the right track, CM, he is a total control freak and as you say, he has never had anything to do with the day to day "running" of the kids before.
Good news again - he's gained around 3oz in 2 days! Up to about 8lbs 13oz now, still just over a pound under his birthweight but definitely going in the right direction. It's actually been the MW monitoring him, I have the "joy" of meeting the HV tomorrow morning, I just hope she's not the same as the last one! Although at least I am exclusively bf so she won't be on my back about that
. He's definitely waking up for more feeds, although I'm still having to wake him every 3hours in the night for a feed which is tough going at times. When he reaches his birthweight, the MW says I can leave him to feed less at night. I suppose I've gone from wishing they'd all leave us alone to seeing the change in him now that he's feeding more, and agreeing that maybe they were right to be concerned about him. He hardly ever cried, never woke up for feeds more than every 4-5 hours and dozed off very quickly every feed. Now he does occasionally get irate about being hungry (tho he's still really laidback!), demands feeds in the evening in particular and his poo has changed colour and he's generally doing better 
.
First day without hubby today - I managed to get Sophie to the childminder this morning 15 mins late! Nicholas decided to have a really slow feed this morning, then filled his nappy at the last minute! It's been nice just having one to worry about (and really, newborns are so easy compared to demanding toddlers - no disrespect to the first-time mums on here, it's all about getting used to a new lifestyle!). It'll also be nice to spend time with Sophie though, I do miss our time together.
JT - I think Sophie is like Ted, she was a right obnoxious madam yesterday! I have always given her lots of attention so it will be good for her to have a sibling. How are you getting on?
Unbelievable, he's filled his 3rd nappy in about an hour...
!
well done JG that is brilliant. you are doing so well and your efforts are paying off. keep at it - it's not easy but it does get better. i know what you mean about newborns being easy. i think we all feel like that when no 2 turns up. it feels like you have been hit by a bus when you have your first baby; but when you have a demanding toddler to cope with, the baby seems easy in comparison.
I totally agree. Just picked up my two almost 4 yr olds and in 30 mins they have destroyed their goal posts beyond resurrection and mixed mud up with their rubber bark and spread it all over the slide. Arrrhhh!!!
On the plus side I managed to do 5 hours work today. Somehow!! One garden design completed and invoices for this quarter now done. Just one more design to get done and the books for June and July. OMG how am I going to get it done
all by the end of the month!!
Right need to make boys some tea. Sophie has been an angel today bless her. Giggling and smiling all day. Lush!!
CM. I totally agree with your counsellor and solicitor, and upsetting your nanny is not acceptable at all. Keep posting it must be helping so much and its interesting as I went through all this as a child but wasn't really aware of it.
Fab news JG. Your doing great
!!
CM- will the counseller that you have both been seeing have any input at any court proceeding for divorce/custody etc? Just wondered whether their opinions are used in such cases or is it all confidential?
TT ;0)
Well done JG and MM for surviving, I guess you have no choice really but to knuckle down and get on with it! And great news about the weight JG, I've been obsessed with the colour of Maggie's poo ever since the Dr said green was a sign of her being underweight (it is mostly yellow these days
CM- agree with everything everyone else has said! You need to get full custody as he is only acting this way to control you and he is most certainly not looking at the best interests of the children. My mum had custody of me and my sister and we had bedrooms at my dad's for whenever my mum wanted a night off! But their split was amicable so no courts needed. You and your kids will be so much better off in the long term. Expect E is too young to remember any of what happens and J might just think of it all as a big adventure, moving to a new house etc.
Right, Maggie fallen asleep so dinner time and then straight to bed for me!
Thanks everyone
I am feeling rather pleased with myself and so happy that I have not had to give up bf or resort to top-ups because he wasn't getting enough from me or anything. He's started cluster-feeding in the evenings a bit although is currently snoozing - time for another feed now though and I think he's starting to wake up anyway.
JT - fingers crossed for your scan, weeks in hospital does sound horrendous!
Sonya - not good having nights like that, at least they are few and far between. Hope you manage to catch up tonight.
Bedtime for me once he's fed, I'm exhausted today!
JG - great to hear you sounding perkier!
JT - good luck for your scan. Am *sure* everything will be fine.
had a bad evening yday with MIL and hubby. Had brought kids over to house in the afternoon (as agreed with hubby) and J did *not* want to go back home. He wanted to stay for tea and bath (as kids would). I said to him that Banna (Grandma) would be at home when he got there and he said 'I don't want to see Banna'. Anyway, we went home and immediately he saw his Grandma, he said 'I want you to go home; I don't want to see you'. She stormed off in a huff. I tried to get J to apologise (not having any of it) so I went to talk to her and say thank you for picking in the washing and she just glared at the TV and wouldn't talk to me. Then T came home and he took over discipline.
J was over-tired and did lots of crying and when E tried to get up on the sofa next to him, he was flailing his legs around trying to stop her. I told him not to kick E or I would move him down on his reward chart. He did more wailing. MIL then said 'What happened to you while you were over at the house? Before you went there, you were such a lovely little boy, but you have come back a horrible little boy'. I was outraged...
T then had a go at me all evening about the fact that I was refusing to include a clause in our interim agreement about informing him when I entered the home. The solicitor told me he had no right to ask me to do that as it is my home. T says it is just common courtesy and if I don't want to show courtesy, then that's fine. (Emotive language - something I am *not* allowed to use...). Anyway, it went on and on and eventually we called it a day.
He says I am being unreasonable and I am giving no latitude at all in this process... I feel like I am bending over backwards to accommodate his demands and there is no way he is getting away with mandating my behaviour towards him. If he wants to stipulate how I treat him, then the same must apply both ways...
Glad you are enjoying reading my tales, MM.
It is rather a saga, I know!
TT - the counsellor has said she would only give evidence if forced basically. She has made notes from all our sessions, but they would be scrutinised and she would rather not. She has also said that just about every man threatens to pull the mental health card in these situations where they also want custody - even if there are no mental health issues. 'the woman is mad'. she said that the court is unlikely to pay much attention to it, as i have not been under the care of anyone other than the GP (for middle dose medication), have never seen community mental health team, or had a psychiatric assessment or anything. and once diagnosed with PND, the HV came to the house once to see me and never came again... she also said the court would say 'if you think your wife is a risk to herself / the kids, why did you not do anything about it before?'
even the nanny told me how much happier i seem now this is all out in the open. it was news to her on monday (as she didn't know what was going on), but i don't suppose she is terribly surprised as she has seen the way T interacts with me.
i am confident that J will be a much calmer child when he is around T less. he came downstairs this morning and saw me in the hallway and ran to me and hugged me, kissed me and told me he loved me. he then ran to the nanny and hugged her. he went into the kitchen, saw his father, and started shrieking, screaming and hitting him because that is the way T plays with him... last night, T was rolling around on the floor with E before she went to bed, and J was standing on the sofa and trying to jump right across the lounge and land on them both. It was me who said 'stop trying to jump on daddy'. He tried to do it again and T said, laughing, 'don't do that Jacob. Mummy has told you not to do it'. Clearly he didn't really want to stop him. But if he had landed on either T or E, T would have gone ballistic at him.
Saga indeed, CM! I expect you will be very glad when this is all over. Interesting that J didn't want to go back to the family home - he probably senses the atmosphere there and felt more relaxed in the other house. Your MIL's reaction was frankly childish and maybe provides an insight into where T gets some of his behavioural issues from ...
Can't believe you're not "allowed" to use emotive language - good Lord! It's a free country; you can express yourself in any way you wish and hubby certainly has no right to dictate that you inform him when you enter your home - what a cheek! You would have a right to insist that he informs you when he comes to your house though, since this is not in his name and is not the marital home. Might be a good idea to do so as I'm sure you won't want him just turning up there if he feels like it.
It sounds as though his 'play' with J is quite aggressive - TBH though I think that dads do play with their kids (especially boys) in a different way - my hubby does lots of "rough & tumble" with Kit and Kit absolutely loves it - quite often this is when hubby gets in from work, just before bedtime, and I am not always that pleased as Kit gets all wound up and over-stimulated just when I want him to be winding down and getting ready for bed. Hubby never shrieks or hits Kit (in play) though - just lots of rolling round the floor, tickling, swinging him round, lifting him up into the air pretending he's a rocket (!) etc. Lots of stuff I can't do because I can't lift Kit high enough these days!
I am sure that you do seem happier to people outside of the immediate situation. It's always so much better once everything is out in the open, however hard that may be, as you don't have the stress of secrecy on top of everything else. I hope you are able to keep the nanny - that would be a disaster if T manages to upset her and drive her away.