Am so fed up of drinking - I know everything in moderation but I am all or am giving up drinking (I know I'm a month late to detox!!) indefinitely...(well until easter is my first goal)

Havent had a drink since Sunday-I know that doesn't seem that long but I usually have a glass of wine every night!

Who wants to join me and help me stay on the wagon?


  • Spoilsport.

    Am definitely not on the wagon. Got rugby, curry night & socials coming up.

    But good luck anyway.
  • thanks toria-i have been drinking so much lately i really do think im getting addicted- i drink by myself nearly every i want to lose some weight and i sont think wine is conduicive to losing weight! but i'll still have the curry!
  • Hi Laurac. Please come and join us in 'Beginners', on the 'Giving up the booze' thread.
  • will do thanks!! Shouldve looked before really as not surprised theres a thread already but just got all excited!
  • I jumped on the wagon at new year!

    When I was training for the FLM I didn't drink a drop for four months and felt fantastic but was soon tempted by the evils of drink .

    I haven't missed it this year but friends view me with suspicion - The hardest part is at two in the morning when you are sober and the conversation has moved into an alien language and the sh*t club you're in appears to be the best in the world to your other half and mates.

    Anyway good luck - I told myself I was only giving up for Jan but feb seems like a short month.
  • Laurac

    I gave up the booze just over a year ago. Necessity prompted the decision, I was an addict and it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but it is undoubtedly worth it.

    I wish you all the luck and strength in the world.


  • i'm not a big drinker anymore so i don't think i'll join the fun (?) but just wanted to wish luck as i know it can be a challenge!

    for some encouragement though, my best mate gave up drinking for a year a few years ago and - the weight just 'fell' off her when she quit.

    good luck!
  • no sugar, no drink-do you think i can do it hee jung? i am following your lead on the no sugar front!

    Thanks bunbury. i think it will be worth it.

    cheers jammie dodger (wish id had that name!) it does beg the question of whether you should be in such a place if its that crap you need to be paraletic...but then you can always avoid some social situations or else you risk havign no friends...when i stopped clubbing and doing several other "substances" (years ago now) i realised that my "friends" werent really people i liked, just people to get off my head with and tehy seemed so much nicer. but then most people drink so you cant avoid some places unlike avoiding places where people do other waffling now...
  • I know what you mean. Shortly after I stopped drinking, I moved away from the place I'd been living and spent eight months moving around the country because of my job. Having now returned, I find that some of my old haunts are intolerable without a skinful. That can be quite hard, as it often requires a fairly fundamental change in your behaviour. I'm lucky, because my favourite pub is just as nice when sober, so I can still enjoy the social experience.

    I have experience of the 'other stuff' too, and it is easier to avoid the places where that sort of thing happens. I've found that I'm better avoiding the places in order to avoid the substances (at the moment at least), which is sad in a way, but it comes down to doing whatever you need to do to make things work.


  • Laurac - absolutely you can do it! and hopefully the 2 will compliment each other - in that when i even have a couple of drinks i find that's when i REALLY make poor food choices, or get lazy and skip a run. so remind yourself as you drink less, you'll start to feel better all round, motivation will increase, increasing your fitness which in turn will motivate continued good nutrition...

    and you know, i find i really don't need a glass of wine to 'un-wind' at the end of a hard day, i actually prefer to have oj and soda water instead of pints on a friday work pub lunch and the best one that coincides with jammie waking up on a sat or sun morning, knowing exactly what you did, with whom you did it and a wallet full enough to go to the shops and buy some sugar free porridge!!! ahhh!!! more bl**dy porridge!
  • Laurec - The hardest bit is deciding how long you are going to stop for and whether your going to start again. I was the same as you and enjoyed a glass of wine in the evening but had the all or nothing gene you mentioned.

    Having avoided booze for months before a part of me does not want to drink again (small part) but can not imagine never having a glass of wine again. The reason I'm not drinking in feb is that I hadn't worked out in my own mind what rules to set myself.

    The booze just on Saturday approach seems like the slippy slope. Have you set yourself any target or is that it? - No more grog!

  • Hmmmm, not sure I can do it Laurac. I really want to and probably need to but I only gave up smoking end of Sept despite a hubby that smokes 30 day and not sure I'm ready to give up pop as he is an alchy who drinks more than 2 bottles wine per night and beer!!! I work three nights a week but the other four I can drink 1/2 - a bottle of wine!!! Yikes! Perhaps I should.

    OK I'm in. I'll start tonight and see how it goes.

    God this forum is too bloo*y healthy!!
  • Fat Fyes - you CAN do it! It may not be easy, but believe me, once you decide you're going to, nothing can stop you. The important thing is to make the decision - right, that's it, I'm not drinking. There will be times when it's very hard, but you have to keep reminding yourself why you stopped. Also, try imagining how pissed off with yourself you'll feel next day if you slip, and how good you'll feel if you don't.

    This all sounds a bit cliched, I suppose, but it does come from experience.

    Keep at it - remember that you've got all of us lot behind you as well!


  • Bunbury - you obviously told yourself it was time to stop - did you dabble with stopping before becoming Tee Total or was it a 'this is it' moment and what made you stop?

    I think anyone you gives up for even a couple of weeks has a little voice questioning whether they are an addict.

  • Hi just popped over from "Giving up the Booze" thread....
    I would love to join you on the wagon Laurac, only trouble is I keep falling off.

    I hate drinking and I am finding it very hard to stop, I have been drinking 32 years and at the moment I am drinking about 100 units a week, my liver is taking a right hammering, I have stopped a few times on orders from the doc because my liver is damaged but yet I keep doing it, how stupid is that....

    I don't go out, I drink in the house on my own, I don't have the problem of people saying, go on have a drink, but I have a demon on my shoulder saying the same thing, and he is so powerfull, I have a big problem.
  • I think it is very sad not to enjoy a nice glass of wine. I'm also all or nothing so I pick one night a week for a drink and really enjoy it.
  • Thats great if you can do that Carol, some people, like me, can't, I gave up for 6 months then had one drink, in no time I was back on 7 nights a week drinking, thats me, all or nothing, trouble is it's usually all...
  • Latest government guidelines may class that as 'binge drinking' Carol! :)

    Thanks Bunbury. I'm sure you're right. It's got to be similar to giving up smoking. Think I may have a mild drink problem i.e. one that if it wasn't checked could become more serious.

    Gaz, you sound like my hubby. I love him dearly (must do to still be with him), but when he drinks that much and starts to slur etc., I find him really unattractive and when he gets to the point of swaying I find him totally repulsive. The other point is the financial side of things. He will make everyone go without before his bottle gets left off the shopping list (four children + one from his past in our family). I'd do anything for him to stop but know it has to be his decision.

    Maybe if I give up completely it may encourage him to at least cut down. BTW How do you know your liver is damaged, because I'm sure his must be too.

    Carol, I was joking :)
  • FF, 6 years ago I was unwell so I had a blood test, result was my liver was in a very bad way, I was told to stop drinking right away, which I did for 6 months, I then got the all clear, I thought one drink wont do any harm, I was soon back to drinking full time again.

    3 years ago, another blood test, same again, but not as bad, gave up for about 2 month then started again.

    The amount I have been drinking since it is bound to be damaged again, even knowing that I am finding so hard to quit, it has really got a hold of me...
  • It is so unbelievably sad that alcohol can have such an effect on people. I truly think that it will be the ruin of our marriage. I really can't imagine him giving it up .... I can't even talk to him about it without him getting really defensive. I know he knows how I feel and I think if I go tee-total it will reinforce those feelings, but not sure he could do it for me or the kids if I'm brutally honest.

    He's never unwell though, so maybe his liver is fine but I personally think he looks like he is developing ascites because his tummy looks like it ought to be producing kicks!!! I sometimes wish something would happen to his health to make him realise that drinking and smoking as much as he does is going to leave me a widow sooner than I'm prepared to be (he's already 13 years older than me)!

    The fact that you can come on here and admit the problem Gaz has surely got to be half of the battle. You have my 100% support because that makes you twice the person my hubby is already.
  • all you are a great help- i hope to stay posting and see how you all are going...banbury-very wise words...gaz-dont know what to say really- i just really hope that you can kick it.
  • Oh Sh*te, does that mean I've got to report back on progress???

    : )
  • Talking about it really helps, the more I talk the more it helps.
    The Booze thread over on Beginners has really helped me.

    You really must try to get your hubby to stop or at least cut down, you should get him to look at this thread and the beginners booze thread.

    Alcohol played a big part in ending my marriage, my ex drank very heavy and got very violent with it, she was also very defensive when questioned about her drinking, she said she didn't have a problem, she did, it all got too much.

    When I was first told to stop because of my liver the first thing she did was to drink till she passed out.

    I too am worried about my daughters losing their Dad, I have a 10 year old who lives with her mam and a 18 year old who lives with me, my eldest is the only one who knows the ammount I drink.

    Thanks so much for your kind words and support.....

  • gaz-i just want to give you a big hug and make it all better but we all know that wont solve the problem. I agree i think if you have a partner who drinks then it is very difficult to escape the trap. indeed i have found it hard when a partner drinks socially let alone to passing out stage. if i am with someone for dinner for example, i tend to have nigh on two bottles of wine to myself throughout a night, btu as banbury says and everyone really has pointed out it doesnt make you feel any good...

    the problem is im injured at the moment and had to drop out of FLM so am fed up, running is one of my main activities so instead all ive been doing is eating rubbish and drinking to excess..these last few months have shown me how much i (we) need running in my life. i know that sounds crap but do you know what i mean?

    fat fyes-onyl if you want to!
  • Laurac, thanks so much......

    Most of the time I feel so depressed, like a big black cloud has descended on me and it only goes away when I don't drink.

    I have been running on and off most of my life but I have now been diognosed as having osteoarthritis in my hips and big toes, my right hip is the worst, it is stopping me running so I have turned more to drink and eating rubbish, and the weight has piled on.
    Running used to keep me sane, although it too was an addiction, a good one though, it really is so hard when you can't run, I hope your injury gets better soon.
  • oh gaz- what else do you enjoy?i have started a french class to keep myself occupied, but again these are all superficial measures to keep busy, not finding the underlying cause...have you seen anyone for your depression? is it casued by something in particular or is it just there? you dont have to answer whatsoever, these are very personal questions i know.
  • Laurac, at the moment I am very withdrawn, I hide away in my house, I don't really do anything except watch tv, I find it really hard to talk to people for the first time, I have always been shy but these days I am a lot worse.
    I don't really enjoy doing anything, at the moment life is just a pain.

    I have not seen anyone for depression, I should really.
    All my life I have always been on one level, but for the last couple of years my moods have been high or really low, my mood can change in minutes.
    I can be doing really well then I could hear a song on the radio or see something that brings back memories then before I know whats happened I have a drink in my hand.
    The day after drinking I feel so depressed so I have a drink and feel better, then next day same again.
    When I manage to stay off the drink the depression all but goes away.

    I have been through quite a lot over the last few years, my mam died, my dad was diognosed with cancer but after 2 big ops he is doing ok, I was made redundant then my wife walked out, everytime I seem to be getting it together something else comes up and kicks me in the teeth.
    As the old saying goes "If it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all"

    I have been drinking for 32 years, it has become part of my life (existence) and I find it so hard to get my head round not drinking for the rest of my life..
  • "You obviously told yourself it was time to stop - did you dabble with stopping before becoming Tee Total or was it a 'this is it' moment and what made you stop?" (Jammie Dodger)

    In a sense, it was a bit of both. A bit of background: I started drinking heavily about four years ago, in response to specific problems which were causing quite heavy depression. I also started smoking a lot of weed and taking a few other drugs at around the same time, for the same reason. In essence, I was drinking, smoking and whatnot in order to block out the world: while I was drunk or high, it didn't hurt.

    Because of all this, there's a period of a year or two that I barely remember. I have flashes of memory, but most of it is just haze. I know, however, that there was at least one person who contributed strongly to my coming out of the other end. I'm not sure how or why this individual had such an effect, but (unknowingly) they probably saved my life.

    Emerging from the end of this period, I knew that I had to get things under control. The drug intake decreased significantly, as did the drink, but I stopped neither. For the next year or two, I did quite well at maintaining the illusion (to myself as much as to anyone else) that I was in control. However, while my personal circumstances had begun to improve, I was still depressed and most of me still felt that hiding behind substances was the answer, so my drinking steadily crept up again.

    Towards the end of 2004, I had what you might call a flash of clarity and realised that it was the drink that was in control, not me, and that if I didn't change that, I stood to lose everything. It became clear that I had to stop completely and, in truth, the thing that made me stop was the realisation that I couldn't. I was incapable of going a day without drinking and it had become the most important thing in my life. That in itself was not a situation I was happy with. Having worked out that I really had to stop, I made several attempts at it before I finally succeeded. Unintentional pressure from well-meaning friends, a bad day or just plain human weakness always led to my slithering off the wagon, until the one time that I didn't.

    Having had my last drink, I went into withdrawal, which in my case amounted to seven weeks of Hell, which I don't think I could have survived without a couple of close friends and one conversation with an old tutor who'd been through the same, who said a few things that scared the bejeesus out of me.

    All in all, then, it was knowing what I had to lose that made me stop, and a combination of fear, the support and inspiration of others and sheer stubbornness that made me stick it out.

    I still struggle sometimes, but it gets much easier much faster than you expect. I'm sorry to have made this such a long post, but I am living proof that it can be done, and I hope I can inspire others in the way that certain people inspired me.


  • If you talk to any recovering alcoholic Gaz I think you'll find that once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. You just need to become one that doesn't drink. How about support groups etc., I know you're shy but it could be just what you need.

    You only get one go at this life, only you have the ability to change it and stop wasting such a precious gift. Your health may not be that good, but it's always comparatively better than someone elses and by the sounds of it you have the ability to make it even better yourself. There are others less fortunate.

    Write a list of when you drink and find a replacement hobby to fill in those times. Print your last post and stick it everywhere you have access to alcohol, including your wallet. You need to do this for you Gaz!

    Thats it, I'm definately not drinking this month! It's a sign of my support mate!
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