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grendel - will probably in baileys or ye olde chippy afterwards, i will be the one with a toddler in a pink stroller who's shouting 'chips' at the poor woman behind the counter!
One tip though - on the way back don't focus onthe end of the pier (assuming it hasn't burnt down completely by then) I did that one year when struggling and then realised it is always going to be at least a mile away!
Though not sure what is happening this year whether there are any changes as it starts just outside SOuthchurch Park and up until last year finished in front of the old stand where the track used to be - that has now been demolished so will be interesting to se - well worth a run out though.
You don't need to leave them to cry to do sleep training - there are other ways.
Gymbunny - please tell me your methods. I will try anything that doesn't let her cry. I think those cry it out methods are evil.
xWindyx
1) black out blinds
2)routine - not like Gina ford but I did stick to my own evening routine rigorously
3) Swaddled very very tightly changing to a sleep bag as they got older
4) Into a cot very early - just a few weeks old
5) Put them to bed quite late but then woke them up for a final top up feed just as I was going to bed to try and enforce the 'longest' sleep cycle to be at the same time as mine.
The biggest thing I did was to try and ensure they saw their cot as their own special place. So, when they had had their morning feed and it was time to get up (usually 10-11 am ) and then I would open all the blinds, uncover them but leave them in their cot with a mobile going above their heads. I did this at first for 5 mins, then 10 until it was at least 30 mins. i.e I would wake them, stick mobile on and then go get ready myself. My babies took to this really easily and it meant that if they woke up during the night, not hungry but still awake, they didn't need to get cuddled before they would go back to sleep.
Both my kids go to bed in literally 5 mins flat. PJ's on, climb into bed and 'good night' and door shut. No messing whatsoever.
I am a terrible sleeper myself and had night terrors as a child and so was determined to give my children every chance to develop good sleep habits. They do say that if you can help your children to sleep better then they continue to sleep well as adults. I would love to be able to sleep like my kids do.
I realise this is not something for older kids but it works a treat on babies. Have you had a look at www.babysleepguide.co.uk There might be something on there that can help.
Have just met them for lunch and he climbed on my lap and cuddled me and said I love you Daddy – unfortunately he is now saying I don’t like Mummy because she is always cross – which makes matters worse, he won’t say good night or kiss her, or goodbye in the morning when I take him to nursery – as far as he is concerned they are all Daddy things and I do feel dreadfully sorry for her as I know how I would feel – unfortunately the less charitable amongst you could say she has bought it on herself – but I think it does go to highlight just how debilitating PND is and must be recognised as such – as I said in an earlier post my wife refused to accept that she was suffering as all the other Mums at baby crew etc were coping and loving it and she hated feeling different. I had to insist that my calls to the health visitor were confidential as I didn’t want my wife to know that I had called her in, and for a while afterwards she thought it was a coincidence that she called round that day – it was a while afterwards during an ‘argument’ that she accused me of not caring and not doing anything when I admitted to her that it was me that called for help.
I will say again to anyone in a similar position, whether it be Mum or Dad – don’t be afraid to admit you need help – it is not a failure!
Woops seen the length of the post!
And Southend is a really good race to do whatever your standard.
grendel - if there is anyone here that says that your wife has brought it upon herself, they should be shot. i am only just building up a good relationship with my daughter. i know what your wife means about feeling like the only one that isn't coping amongst other mums. keep persisting with trying to include her in the bedtime routine; if he sees you saying goodnight and giving her a kiss, he might gradually start to think it's OK (which of course it is.)
windy - come and do southend! i will be lucky to finish in 75minutes, can you put my order for fish and chips in please?
Watch this space
let me know how it goes.
I felt pretty terrible when I had my daughter and we just got on like a house on fire. The birth was easier - I found it easier to breast feed her and so did it for longer, she slept better so I was happier and as a result we are very very close. I felt so guilty that this didn't happen with my son. But like I said before things are levelling out now as they get older.
It's all worth it though - don't you wonder what you did before they existed. What on earth did you do with all the spare time?
bunny; i have been sitting here in my office with a coffee struggling to think what i did before i had my daughter. although looking at the coffee reminded me that i slept an awful lot more before i had here (i didn't even sleep when i was pregnant because i had terrible heartburn.)
here's to a good night's sleep
<chinks coffee cups with fellow sleep-deprived parents>
I know what I used to do before - run 70 miles a week race a lot and try for a baby -
those were the days!
Oh well not quite so tired nowadays - although am now getting fed up with watching toy story each morning (twice this morning)
My favourite is the Hoobs
i still have a soft spot for the old cartoons like tom & jerry and looney tunes (tweety pie especially, naturally.)
I did have to explain though that the european Championships are only on once every 4 years and yes I was going to watch them rather than Toy Story - keep meaning to start a thread on potty/toilet training!
daughter didn't take too kindly to me turning off hi5 to watch the football this evening. i am trying to rub my enthusiasm for running off onto her; we did the sport relief mile in london this year (where she chose to sit down on the floor just before the finish line and not move) and we did the BTMK fun run in southend in june, which was fun but hot.
will be on any thread about toilet/potty training - daughter would quite cheerfully sit in a pooey nappy all day long if i let her :-(
Grendel I am sure nobody on here would say anything about your wife bringing it on herself. Got mild PND myself when I worked in a surgery I watched several women with severe beat themselves up and they were doing a great job. I think It must be devistating for her to hear him say that. My little girl is clingy to me and sometimes awful with hubby, pushing him away etc but I spend most of day with her.
When she goes to bed she is okay as long as she knows I am pottering about upstairs So tend to spend time on computer until she goes to sleep. Probably made a rod for my own back but If it gets her off I don't care. If she wakes up at 4/4.30 she ends up in bed with us. Went out last Tuesday night and hubby and mouse both asleep on bed.
I know this sounds really bad, but when do you start to potty train??? How do you do it. Health visitor will be 'out' next month for 18 month check I usually go on baby websites but spend most of my spare time on here now we have broadband (ran up a 90 quid phone bill 3 years ago when came on here regularly)
Oh and will probably get wrong for not taking her to be weighed but I don't care. She screamed all the way through the last time They wouldn't let me leave her vest on She clung to me like a limpet. Then had to put her in baby scales (she was 13 months).
Grebdel - I am soooo jealous that your son can tell you 'I love you Daddy' I can't wait for that day, not that I want to wish any time away but I can't wait.
Fifi and the flowertots and peppa pig they are my little one's fav's. However they have changed their times so she doesn't see them only when we play her milkshake dvd. I think it is the music she loves and she goes mad when it comes on and doesn't really seem that interested in the program.
Does anyone have any tips on how to get faster??? I did the 8 x 2 mins at 90% last night + 5k nearly killed me, legs and arms really felt the burn. Anyone suggest a better routine for increasing speed???
gymbunny- I tried all of the above except putting her in her cot. She went in her own room at 6 months however prefers to sleep with me or should I say my boobs.
Oh well it won't last forever - I do love cuddling up with her although I know it is a bad habit.
Well tummy is rumbling watching Ramsey cook up a storm so off to make supper.
Sarahx
Baby Einstein dvds are great to - educational telly for babies. Fantastic. I put it on when I need to do the washing etc. Keeps her quiet for 20mins.
windy - i am eternally crap at speed but i am just happy i am getting out there. maybe have a trot over to training; someone more knowledgable than me might be able to help. and CONGRATULATIONS on the the first steps!!!!!
batmouse - am right there with you on the teething. when the dentist said mini tweety had all her teeth, i could have cried with relief. in fact, i think did when i got home.
all hail the inventor of calpol! although, it tickles me the makers of calpol (pfizer) also make viagra!!
I also found it incredibly hard when I had my first baby and for a month or so just wanted to die. Had some of 'that' in pregnancy too, but in truth quite a lot of 'that' before so it was perhaps to be expected.
I had my first baby at 31, when I was a very competent adult professionally (the 'super achiever- super efficient kind) and the lack of control and loss of measurable achievements that come with motherhood was a tru shock to my well-organised system!
So there I was, helpless and overweight. My life not mine anymore, my career destroyed and there was no way out.
My baby was premature and would feed constantly (thankfully I was not bullied into breastfeeding so my other half and I could share the load) and would sleep badly.
Then something happened. I got better at that motherhood thing. My baby and I started going to swimming classes and yoga for baby classes. I lost the weight and gained even more fitness than before.
I even realised - shock horror - that actually the world does not revolve around me, and that it is a good thing to lose your sense of self into somebody.
Buddhists believe that mothers and carers are very advanced in the way to enlightenement and, even if I have lots of days when I binge on biscuits looking at the clock waiting for 6.30 (official bedtime), most times I feel that my children have brought a deeper, more meaningful aspect to my life.
Now I have 2 lovely children, they are 6 and 2 1/2, a job I truly enjoy, a happy marriage and run 40 miles a week. The balance is fragile and some days shatters and falls on the floor with great noise and tears from all sides, but mostly life is good.
Tweety, Grendel, Windy Melons, Gymbunny, Batmouse let's hang on in there, sense of humour in one hand and clean nappy in the other...nobody said that being enlightened was going to be easy.