I am intending to be a smug bastard. I've only not finished meso 5 because it's less than a week since the marathon. Oh. And I felt like running 9 miles today instead of 4. But I'm totally following mesocycle 5 when it says things I like.
Have just, and belatedly, read back through the poo-fest of the last few pages. I now realise I got my VLM race report completely wrong. It should have gone like this:
Woke up at about 0600. First poo of the day was not long coming, I didn't even have to finish my cup of coffee. A massive dump, but to my alarm completely runny and shapeless - real Montezuma's Revenge bottom. What the hell?! Had zero stomach issues the week before so must have been nerves, or the consequences of carbo-loading. Or, terrifying thought, was I genuinely ill? Either way, the stinking globular mass in the toilet bowl boded ill for my gastro-intestinal health later that day.
Zero further poos later, but with much stomach rumbling, got to the Green Start at about 0815 and got straight in the toilet queue. With great foresight, as it turned out. The next instalment was not long making its presence felt, so the short queues at that time were a godsend, and the toilets still in relatively good condition. One further splatterfest later, approximately the consistency of rice pudding, I felt able to venture outside with relative confidence.
At about 0920 I thought I better go again to be on the safe side. By now the queues were considerably longer and the toilets, when I finally got there 20 minutes before the start, now resembled the set of a Saw movie. No matter, I plonked myself down but after 10 minutes of nothing but a wee, and some Zen chanting, I felt safe enough to venture out and find my pen.
Then I ran 26.2 miles. It was difficult but exciting. To my surprise, I didn't even fart once. I had mixed emotions at the end, on the one hand I hadn't run the race quite as fast as I wanted but on the other hand I hadn't shat myself, or even seriously reflected on the possibility So, swings and roundabouts really.
Afterwards my stomach was hurting a bit but it wasn't until 7.48 that evening that I had my next poo, which was quite solid, so I suppose all's well that end's well.
The End (copyright G Khan, all rights reserved)
(any similarities with any mass-participation marathons actually held in London, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Except the poo bits, which are true)
Andrews will no doubt be all over the smug basterds thread. You will need to block wenty from it, he was far too off plan!
I was totally on plan - OK I may have had a few plans on the go at the same time but whats that got to do with anything???? If you think i was off plan this time, You aint seen nothing yet! wait till the autumn plan is in full swing
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Comments
yes.....get back over there!
Menn- that must be a joke!
Andrews will no doubt be all over the smug basterds thread. You will need to block wenty from it, he was far too off plan!
I'm not supposed to be on the new thread, I don't do autumn marathons.
The thread that just wont die!!!!
Like a cockroach!
Or the Rolling Stones.
Oops, I was helping DT get into the mood for his upcoming marathon.
I never started mesocycle 5. I am off to the new thread, the people are so much nicer and less smug there.
Hmmm, that was borderline believable so perhaps I can get away with it. Had wenty said he had done that session.....
Have just, and belatedly, read back through the poo-fest of the last few pages. I now realise I got my VLM race report completely wrong. It should have gone like this:
Woke up at about 0600. First poo of the day was not long coming, I didn't even have to finish my cup of coffee. A massive dump, but to my alarm completely runny and shapeless - real Montezuma's Revenge bottom. What the hell?! Had zero stomach issues the week before so must have been nerves, or the consequences of carbo-loading. Or, terrifying thought, was I genuinely ill? Either way, the stinking globular mass in the toilet bowl boded ill for my gastro-intestinal health later that day.
Zero further poos later, but with much stomach rumbling, got to the Green Start at about 0815 and got straight in the toilet queue. With great foresight, as it turned out. The next instalment was not long making its presence felt, so the short queues at that time were a godsend, and the toilets still in relatively good condition. One further splatterfest later, approximately the consistency of rice pudding, I felt able to venture outside with relative confidence.
At about 0920 I thought I better go again to be on the safe side. By now the queues were considerably longer and the toilets, when I finally got there 20 minutes before the start, now resembled the set of a Saw movie. No matter, I plonked myself down but after 10 minutes of nothing but a wee, and some Zen chanting, I felt safe enough to venture out and find my pen.
Then I ran 26.2 miles. It was difficult but exciting. To my surprise, I didn't even fart once. I had mixed emotions at the end, on the one hand I hadn't run the race quite as fast as I wanted but on the other hand I hadn't shat myself, or even seriously reflected on the possibility So, swings and roundabouts really.
Afterwards my stomach was hurting a bit but it wasn't until 7.48 that evening that I had my next poo, which was quite solid, so I suppose all's well that end's well.
The End (copyright G Khan, all rights reserved)
(any similarities with any mass-participation marathons actually held in London, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Except the poo bits, which are true)
AWESOME
Lit, they made me do an autumn marathon . I think you should too, otherwise you'll have an enjoyable summer.
Taking my smugness over to the other thread, where I'll say "stick to the plan" alot, while feeling very, very tired.
I have entered a 5k. Does that count?
Genghis, excellent race report, based on that I'll be running London next year.
5k?! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........................
Did RyanSnell run the Kent Road runner marathon on Saturday? Does he run for winchester?
If so a cracking 2:50 on that course and conditions is fantastic, He looked super strong through out.
I was totally on plan - OK I may have had a few plans on the go at the same time but whats that got to do with anything???? If you think i was off plan this time, You aint seen nothing yet! wait till the autumn plan is in full swing
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