Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
Options
Pooh's Corner
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
Sorry to hear little Grendel still unwell. I feel for you as I have done the same. Moved a chair into her room eventually. Its not comfy, but its a bit better than the floor. Get well wishes from us.
Sounds like your Mum like mine. I think sometimes she relishes in the fact I don't get much sleep. Its payback for if I kept her awake, which I have done on a few occasions, so I hear. I remember once I'd had 2 hours unbroken sleep, for the 4th night running. I was at the end of my teather and Hubby wasn't much help as he was doing what seemed like permanent overtime. I went to mums out of desperation just to keep awake. Was hoping for just a tad of sympathy for my plight and all she said was 'now you know how I felt when you did it to me' as if I did it on purpose. Needless to say I don't go for sympathy as its never forthcoming.
She has just been for tea. I love to see her, but she wears me out. I just hear her yelling Molly's doing this and shes doing that and she's going to hurt herself. I just keep saying so, what would you like me to do, tie her legs together? I can't stop her climbing, I can try to stop her doing herself a permanent injury other than that I dunno what to do.
My friend, Shes a lovely person, but her down days are a bit worrying when she won't get in touch. She doesn't seem to fully trust anyone to talk about things. I ve only known her over a year as we go to same craft group. She started coming for a cuppa on her days off as she once upped and left the class in tears, caught her outside and offered her a cuppa. We go places when I have car, and if I can get buses easily. I can't and dont want to imagine what it must be like to lose a child, God forbid. I can imagine losing your niece would have been hard. I just listen when she does tell me things.
Well got a tornado to tidy and a scruffy mouselet to bath since Mum just gone. Got a pile of ironing which I really don't fancy as I have a very stiff neck. But it must be done. So I best log off. Thats what you get for sitting on my bum when Mouse was asleep this afternoon, but I had done an hours run before lunch. I must try get a jacket this week.
here goes.......
Getting excited and nervous about GNR. Got to wash my GNR kit. Will do that tonight. Keep thinking what am I doing this for???
my mum was the last person i told about my PND because she is very much of the generation that thinks you should just 'get on with it' which she even said at her own mother's funeral. i was very surprised about how understanding she was.
mrs & big david - i have said to someone else on these forums that i think the role of carer is grossly underestimated. it must put amazing pressure on families and relationships.
batmouse - does your friend have bereavement counselling? it maybe good for her to talk to other parents who have been in a similar situation and can understand how she's feeling. there was a teacher at my school years ago who was involved in a group called the compassionate friends, who were all parents who had lost a child - my teacher had lost her son a few years previously. another one i've heard of is cruse bereavement care (or something like that.) my mum lost her best friend a few weeks ago and was offered counselling by a macmillan nurse (who i am hoping to run FLM for next year) to come to terms with her diagnosis. i know they have a cancer line - the number is on their website.
sleep well little ones (please.) and get well soon all!
Little Grendal seems to have recovered – still on antibiotics which is a fight to get him to take – he takes his constipation medicine fine though which is a blessing – trouble is the antibiotics don’t help his constipation. Are back at the hospital next Wednesday (have used up 6 days of my 20 days holiday this year at the hospital) but we tend to make it a day out – we are going swimming in the morning then to lunch and then to the hospital so it is not to bad and they have loads of toys to play with and he likes Dr Khan so that’s all ok.
One thing I would ask BM is that if your mum is watching Molly (nice name btw) doing things why can’t she stop her?
I think the problem with tiredness is that everything seems really black anyway and the PND makes things even seem worse - but you know we are here to help and listen.
The problem my OH had with her Mum was that she took the attitude when she found out about the PND was she got to pull yourself – they haven’t spoken for nearly 3 years which is a shame – in fact my Mum had OH’s Mum on the phone the other week in tears wanting to see pictures of Nathan (my OH won’t even write to her to acknowledge birthday cards presents) and such is the perilous state of our relationship at times that I don't dare do it myself.
Agree about the counselling for your friend BM but I guess the only person who can seek it is your friend herself as she cannot be forced into something – it sounds like she had a lot to contend with over a short space of time – starting going to a craft class was perhaps a step forward in getting out and meeting people -
oh well duty calls
My Mum is 76 in 2 weeks time. If I had been 2 days later I would have been a birthday pressie. She is not very supportive emotionally but she had a difficult relationship with her mum who I think had PND, but it wasn't really heard of or spoken about back then. My Grandfather served in WWII and was away a lot. She has no brothers or sisters so when my Grandfather took ill shortly after my Nana died she had the full burdon. He refused help from anyone but mum. Then after my dad died she turned into a bag of nerves. She refused bereavement counselling etc. So we are left with her and she is the model of my Grandfather.
She has got to a stage where she says Mouse is too heavy to pick up and get her down from whatever she is doing. Mouse plays on it. I am sure she knows that she can play my mum up. Shes a little tinker.
It seems a ahame grendel that OH fallen out with her mum. I could have on quite a few occasions during last 18 months. She of the same feeling that 'you get on with it' Hubby and her had 2 rows over that same period of time. He thinks that my family treat me like a doormat and I let them. Its a difficult one. I know grandparents have rights to see grandchildren now, more so than some fathers I think. Its a tricky one. I would say its probably best if your mum and OH mum sort a secret arrangement out between themselves and you have no part. As it may come back to haunt you.
I hear what you say Tweety, but she will not go. She too fell out with her Mum just before her son died. She knew he only had weeks left and had everything prepared for his funeral. Her Mum thought it was a callous and cold thing to do. Friend said it was the only was she could cope. Her son had an inkling what was going to happen, picked is songs etc. As it was she said if she hadn't done it then he probably wouldn't have got what he wanted as she fell apart. She wouldn't be happy if she knew I was talking on here about it. Thats the way she is. I just listen to her and give her any support I can.
Must go grab something to eat. Had half a bowl of tomato soup before I went out at 6.00 Mouse ate the rest.
night all.
i can't even begin to understand what your friend is going through batmouse. it's the same with anything, you can't force people to do what they don't want to do. all you can do is be there for her and maybe guide her in the right direction if she ever expresses the wish to talk to someone about her loss. what a shame she has fallen out with her mum over such a terrible thing.
grendel - i understand where your wife is coming from with her mum. i waited for ages to tell my mum about my PND because i thought she was going to tell me to just get on with it. i would LOVE to be able to get on with it when i am at my worse, but i just can't, no matter how hard i try. i always told mr tweety that if my mum said that to me that i wouldn't speak to her again. it's not my fault that i have this illness. however, i am very lucky in that my mum didn't say those things to me and that mini tweety knows her, even though she doesn't get to see her that often, as she lives some distance from us.
there may be a day when your wife is feeling strong enough to speak to her mum and confront her about why she said the things she did and why your wife chose not to speak to her.
have a good day everyone.
Nathan woke twice last night – still has this horrible cough, (but he was asleep in bed by 7:40 which is 20 minutes earlier than normal) and he woke again at 6 o’clock and as I didn’t feel like going downstairs at that time, I shoved him in the spare bed with me for a cuddle and he went back to sleep until 7:25 – it meant I got up slightly later than normal (he doesn’t go to nursery Wednesday as wife off) which was refreshing –
My Mum-in-Law did try to suggest that she see Nathan when my Mum looks after him (which is actually quite rare – My parents are both in their 70s too and Mum finds it quite tiring now.) But Nathan is not like an ordinary 3 year old – he started talking at 11 months (stringing sentences together and at 2 and half the health visitor at his last check said she couldn’t believe that she was actually holding a conversation with a 2 year old) So he would definitely tell us he had met Nanny, so my Mum has refused as she feels we have been through the mixer enough over the past couple of years including our 6 months with Relate, but mum has promised to send pictures etc and to pass on the presents she buys him.
Oh well better get on with some work although not really feeling like it today! Oh for the 6 numbers tonight!!
At the end of the day BM the only thing you can do for your friend is to be there for her when she needs it and to back off when she doesn’t as much as you want to help her – you can’t until she is ready.
Good luck at the docs today, hopefully you’ll recover before Sunday
I think as was said earlier that my/her parents came from an era where you did just get on with it and PND was not a recognised illness - and I probably did'nt
realise just how debilitating it really is (I do now) to be fare to my parents they have been quite understanding although that has caused a bit of trouble between me and OH as she believes that they are prepared to help not because of my wife but because me, and she did admit to the realat counsellor we saw that she was very jealous of my family. In defense of my mum in Law (and to be honest I don't like her very much), when all this kicked she and my F-in-Law's marriage was breaking up (after 37 years) and she was struggling to cope with the idea of that.
I think credit to you tweety that you have carried on the way you have, the running must really help, in some of my darkest hours a few years ago it helped beyond measure! Keep it going and I am looking forward to shouting for you Sunday week.
But if it all gets a bit much at times keep posting and I'm sure we are happy to listen to you and offer our suggestions however misguided or bizarre!
Re the stiff neck:
move your shoulders, and head, through the limits of the range of movements. This should help ease the stiffness.
My neck has been stiff lately, and I know it is mostly because of how I prop myself up to read in bed. That and a lack of sleep too perhaps. (self inflicted)
((BD)) I am Doctor told me same thing. Took Ibuprofen during the night as was desperate. Still feeling sick now. It helped though. Took LAnzoprazole and it seems to be easing so going to get more ibuprofen in a min. Also got to get hubby to deep massage it so will probably be back there with dislocated shoulder before the weekend. I wish my lack of sleep was self inflicted.
Doctor had a little girl same time as me and was asking about tantrums etc. She doesn't have many but when she does its like light blue touch paper and stand well back. Her little girl has a few apparently. Was nice to get to talk for a few mins about Toddlers. Mouselet is 18 and a half months. She averages between 10 mins to two hours sleep during the day. I have tried waking her after an hour but she just cries and cries for ages. So now I just let her do her own thing. She is on the move constantly during the day. I try not to have her confined to the buggy for too long and let her walk with her reins if I have someone else with me should I need to go shopping. Like today.
She only had 10 mins this afternoon. She was up at 8 a.m. as she had a bad night. She has been to Nana and Grandys for tea and Mums for lunch. I put her to bed at 8.15 as she was falling asleep in high chair over her milk and she has run about in cot until 5 mins ago. Could hear her talking away to herself.
Other times she can have 2 hours in afternoon and I think shes never going to sleep tonight or am in for a rough one and she goes to bed at 8 and wakes at 8 next morning. But she never been a good sleeper. She always cat napped when she was a tiny baby. She'd have 1/2 hour 3 - 4 times a day. Where as friends baby feeds has 1/2 hour look around then sleeps for couple hours and does the same thing again next feed. They are all different I suppose.
I think its this shift that hubby on which is partly to blame. We have 2 weeks routine as days /nights have same pattern. This week OH off during morning and part afternoon so although I try to keep to routine it always goes out window. We go for walks down beach etc then OH goes to work so I am left with ML to feed, bath and bed. Then when OH comes in from work its after 12 and when he gets ready for bed it disturbs her. He has offered to sleep downstairs but the bathroom is upstairs. Although he has started to get showered before leaving work which has helped a bit. It takes hi a couple of hours to wind down so He usually gets to bed at 1.30 - 2.00 which is when the fun starts.
She just had a nightmare.
Well duty calls. Dishwasher to unload and washing to sort.
Night all and hope we can get some sleep.
People always seem to think you should have more than one child, we have taken the decision not to have anymore – it’s always possible that a second one would be completely different to Molly/Nathan but I can well understand that you might not want a second!
Nathan still coughing away and waking himself up and me too! But as my Mum says one of those things!
It is the GNR this Sunday isn’t it – are you ok for that don’t want to be sitting in front of the telly for 2 hours or so looking out for someone running looking absolutely shattered with a stiff neck!
The Ibuprofen helping a bit. Hubby massaged it twice today. Jarred shoulder when ML having tantrum when we had to leave play park this afternoon. She was shattered and older children coming back from school getting excited and not looking where they were going so rather than she get knocked over we decided to go. Poor Mum in law had to help me get her in buggy. Still she was asleep in WH smiths so that was a bonus. Got to look around M&S which was nice as don't often get to look at clothes. Usually run into shop for what I need and run out again before Mouse starts to scream. Got a nice hat for my birthday from Mum and dad in law, but can't have it until then. I love hats but am a bit self concious wearing them. But in winter if walking and pushing buggy in the rain need something to keep hair dry. Hate being wet.
Was supposed to be going to great nieces 1st birthday party at my Nieces Mum in Laws tomorrow but not going to go. Think it has caused enough trouble between Hubby and myself. Saw my niece yest. Was lovely to see the baby. She is lovely. She only here until Sunday. Molly loves Jessie and now she on her feet they were playing lovely. Hubby was worried I'd seen my sister. So he was not in best frame of mind last night. So what was hoping to be a chance to talk to sis isn't going to be.
Sorry to here Nathan still got his cough. Sometimes a little bit of steam before bed such as filling a bath helps, but if your bathroom anything like ours it doesn't get steamy. Trying to sit a toddler beside a dish of steaming water not best Idea either. Know my ex boss swore by steam inhalation. Hope the cough better soon. Nothing worse. I chewed my Hubbys head off when he did that one time. Came in drunk from xmas do last year. Was really tired and had a bad night. Just got her settled. Fun and games. Had to get her settled again. He got to spend most of day in bed recovering. I got grizzly baby all day.
I know what you saying about no 2 babies being alike but I dunno how I would cope. People do I know but it was such hard work at times I felt like I was swimming against the tide. I was permanatly exhausted. Trying to keep the house in order and look after a baby. Prepare a evening meal it just got too much. Hubby thought I should be able to do everything as I was off all day. Was lucky to get to eat some days.
Anyway. Am shattered. Going to bed.
Enjoy your weekend if I don't get on here before.
Tweety hope Mini Tweety has a good birthday, Happy birthday from ML and myself.
night all
Lol about the discription of you for Sunday, Hope it goes really well - not actually sure whether it is on the telly or not, although it normally is
I know the pharmacist told me once before when he had the cough that we should steam him, but how, he suggested having a boiling kettle in his room - as that is what they used to do,but you can;t do that with a very active 3 year old.
have just read Terri Irwins obituary to Steve Irwin, in the paper quite moving, so need to remember that life is not so bad afterall, although I'm sure if Terri phoned my Mum and broke the news she would say 'oh well one of those things!)
Have a good day and good luck Sunday.
I bet you are shattered. Hope you get a better night tonight. I know you will feel bad. I did on Sunday when I made Molly cry. At 4 in the morning when you know you have got to be up it isn't good and you will get stroppy. I'd love anyone to say any different who doesn't get enough sleep.
Hubby's mum come up to help with Molly whilst I try to clear out some of her clothes. Am shattered though. My shoulder stil giving me hell and now I feel sick with the Ibuprofen. Great so that will be me with the supply of sick bags too.
Trying to think Steve Irwin. I know the name, I haven't heard or seen much news this last few weeks. Other than GArdener's world (which wasn't on last week) I don't get to see much TV. I haven't watched any this week. Yep my mum would say the same. But my mums tack is 'you know joe bloggs, yes you do you went to school with him, oh no perhaps it was your brother, but his mum was the cleaner at the school, you must remember her, no well he died. He was only 41' etc
Well must go sort out some stuff. Running out of room.
Have a good weekend. Try getting some sleep. I know its easier said than done.
am about to wrap up pressie (wooden train set) and blow up balloons.
and good luck batmouse! although i might have a problem getting GNR on the TV today; mini tweety is watching teletubbies and i'm not sure how well it will go down if i switch it off....
Am shattered but happy came in at 2.38:57 which is a PB for me. Its 20 mins faster than my first effort which was 2.58:57. And 30 mins faster than my usual time of 3.08. Am really pleased. Lost Hubby at a water station. He came in at 2.31.27. He was 15 mins quicker so he is over the moon. Its very hard work though. Wasn't out to get a PB just to run it. I feel like I have weaved in and out and in and out of people walking. Don't get me wrong I have walked myself in past years its not the easiest of 1/2 marathons so I am told. You seem as if you are constantly going uphill. But I always stay to the left and try to keep out of the way in my predicted finishing time. The amount of people walking and talking on mobile phones. (that really gets my goat) Got a severe stitch at 7 and a half miles. Had to slow down to walk for 2 mins than off again. Was really niggling. At one point I don't think my running was any faster than my fast walk. By 9 miles my legs were protesting. I think they lost communication with my brain by mile 11. The downhill bit at the end of mile 11 is a killer. If they were taking official phots there I dread to think what sort of grimace I will have on my face.
I am pleased I have done it. Missed my baby as we were picked up at 10 to 9. We got Metro at 9.15. We didn't get back to mum in laws until 3.30. Father in law picked us up in usual spot but when we finish later by the time we walk the mile+ back to Marsden Grotto to meet him the traffic not as bad.
I think I am going to suffer tomorrow. Am stiffening up now. Off to bed with my milk. Poor hubby had to go to work. He couldn't get the night off. At least he isn't on PM's so he didn't have to start until 11.30 but I don't think he got much sleep.
Night all. I hope you had good weekends.
i can recommend lush massage bars. they smell yummy and some of them don't smell too girly, so you and hubby can take it in turns.
mini tweety took ages to go to sleep last night. think she was high on sugar! we had a little smartie cake with a number 3 candle and an indoor sparkler, which she thought was brilliant. i have a great photo of the sparkler on her cake.
have a good week everyone.
Looking forward to Southend?
Good time though it’s always nice to run a pb and to know you have done it on a hard course! I know it might be hard, but it wouldn’t do you any harm to get out and have a very slow jog today just to get the muscles moving again.
am very much looking forward to southend. got a bit worried at the weekend because i had problems swallowing and thought i was getting a cold, but i think it was because hubby was doing some sanding/decorating. no cold yet, thank goodness. am taking zinc without fail though, so fingers crossed for no illnesses or injuries before sunday.....
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with £80.070 for a middle income family. Talk about shock! That doesn't even touch university tuition. But £80.070 isn't so bad if you break it down.
It translates into:
* £4.448.33 a year,
* £370.69 a month, or
* £85.54 a week.
That's a mere £12.12 a day or just over 50p an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite.
What do you get for your £80.070?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jam or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For £80.070, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch bugs, and spiders,
* never stop believing in Santa Claus
You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, and Dr Suess
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For £80.070, there is no greater bang for your dosh. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a paddling pool,
* coaxing a wad of gunk out of cuts, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits. So, one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!